


Western Lullaby

by PEPPERONII



Category: Red Dead Redemption (Video Games)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Arthur Morgan Deserves Happiness, Canon-Typical Violence, Dorks in Love, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fix-It, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, Jealousy, Mutual Pining, Original Character(s), POV Female Character, Period-Typical Sexism, Pining, Slow Burn, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Two Stubborn Idiots, because fuck suffering, but whats new, micah being an asshole, no beta we die like men, tuberculosis? we don't know her
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:53:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 21
Words: 101,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26188294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PEPPERONII/pseuds/PEPPERONII
Summary: She promised to help Jessica LeClerk after she broke her out of jail. After the woman went into hiding, Barbara wandered across the state without a reason besides exploration. However in her travels she ends up meeting a certain outlaw gang, revives her traumatic past and discovers that really, nothing could ever be simple.(canon and online storylines interlap. This is set in 1899 :>)
Relationships: Arthur Morgan/Original Female Character(s), Charles Smith/Original Female Character, Javier Escuella/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 31
Kudos: 70





	1. Valentine

**Author's Note:**

> I really like RDO storyline and I thought why not mix and match with the canon ;)
> 
> The girls' outfits were inspired by Kat Charteaux, ViciousMurderess and xMiss Wolfx on youtube because I have little cash to buy nice outfits on RDO. This fic will hopefully be long if my mind lets me, its been so long since I've written something.
> 
> I admit I wrote part of this when I was half asleep and I had no memory of it until this morning lol 
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy it! Reviews and kudos are very welcome!

“God damn it!!”

The snarl escaped my gritted teeth as I watched the doe leave my line of sight. She disappeared through the thick pine trees, running up to an area of dense vegetation, definitely too complicated to track with the sun already setting. I sighed loudly, throwing my head back in frustration, my breathing leaving my mouth in tiny clouds, the temperature drop was already taking its toll on me.

Rubbing my arms with my hands I turned on my heel towards my Dark Bay Andalusian who was patiently waiting a few meters away. I offered her a smile as I approached “Well,Persephone looks like the big dinner is off limits.” the horse threw her head back almost in laughter making me roll my eyes , “Yes, yes sure, make fun of me.” With the rifle back into the saddle I gave one last look at the trees before making my way back towards camp.

Cripps looked up from his whittling, hearing branches snap and seeing my form coming from behind the thick bushes, no doubt noticing the tired look on my face.He arched his head when he saw there was no deer on the back of Persephone, “She escaped huh?” I just nodded in silence , the dark andalusian halting to a stop near some grass so I could hop down.

“Yep.” I said, placing my hands on my lower back so I could stretch my body,clenching my eyes at the subtle pain before the bones popped “But we still have rabbit,” I said already making my way to the wagon where the two fresh rabbit carcasses were hanging. Cripps let out a hum while going back to his whittling, smiling to himself. I looked at him by the corner of my eye, seeing him trying to hide the smile on his face, then leaned back to support my elbow on the wagon while my other hand was on a cocked hip, “What?”

“Nothin’.” he tried to say innocently, “Just thinkin’ how good it’d be to have deer tonight.” the old man looked up at the sky melancholically, letting out a dramatic sigh, “Rabbits have little to no meat,” he appeared to be dabbing his tears with his coat’s sleeve “I am 72 already...who knows when it’ll be the next time I’ll eat deer-”

“Oh please,” I couldn’t help but exclaim, picking the rabbits out of the hooks and sitting on a stool near the fire, “As if you are going to die tomorrow.” I placed one of the rabbits on my thigh, carefully digging the blade between the skin and the meat started making sure the pelt was still good enough to be sewn or sold, giving Cripps the clean meat before moving to the next one, “We’ll eat rabbit tonight and that’s it.” I knew he was only joking, after working together for a year I grew to love this old man as if he was my family...which in a way he was.

Cripps placed the rabbits down to cook while leaning back against the wagon, watching the little fat drip down the fire only to become smoke, “What do you plan on doin’ tomorrow?” Cripps asked, grunting while adjusting his position, “I know you wanted to check the town.”

“Well,”I sigh, finally removing the black Rexroad Hat from my head, running my fingers through the wild brown bangs that slipped from its braid,my hair needed a wash soon. “Last time I got to Valentine I almost died because of what Alfredo Montez planned,but it’s good to see if there’s any bounties I can do.” I cleared my throat, setting the hat to the side, one of my legs straight in front of me and the other bent so I could support my arm,trying to ease the tensed muscle “Any news of Jessica or Horley?.”

Jessica helped me escape from prison after being falsely accused of murdering her husband. Hell, I was going to be there for god knows how long if it weren’t for her, she became my friend and...she told me she could help with my own issues if need be.

Cripps nodded, “They’ve been running around a lot lately.” he comments, “Last I heard of they was up in the Grizzlies.”

“If there’s one thing I know is that Jessica is anything but frail, she’ll be fine.” I smile, rubbing my eyes tiredly, it has been a long journey and I was exhausted, traveling to days without stopping does that to a person, “I might send Madeline a letter too, and Sophie as well, hell knows they’d want to join us.”

After I was ‘freed’ from prison I eventually met two other women: Madeline Kowalski, a young Polish-American writer traveling through West Elizabeth, in hopes the new scenery would help her creativity.Well, it did help her in writing her brand new mystery book based on what she saw...But she was a mystery herself that one, and always had a small can of rice powder handy in case she needed to powder her face, even when in the middle of a shoot out. She also knows how to handle a gun nicely which made the job a lot easier. 

Sophie Scott or simply Scotty as she liked to be called, was the daughter of a ranch owner I met in the outskirts of Lemoyne. She was a spitfire of a girl that was one of the best hunters I’ve met in a while, my lips pursing thinking she’d have gotten that doe without any issue and would even be able to skin it in less time as well.

I knew the moment I sent the letter those two would trample down to where I was.

Jessica helped all of us by saying, ‘if they are your friends then I can help, as long they went along with the main plan.’ And they did. Ever since then we’ve been contacting each other and sharing whatever useful information we could find.

Of course that was not the only reason I’m still around. There is some stuff I need to finish, especially when it comes to my life before my arrest. But that comes later.

Cripps and I enjoyed our dinner in silence after that, I grabbed the tiny leg bone and broke it in half, using the sharper side to pick my teeth, “I’m going to Valentine early in the morning,” I say, clicking my tongue against the roof of my mouth, “Hopefully there’ll be something I can do to get some coin. And then,” I moved the bone for emphasis, “Then we’ll move forward..”

Cripps nodded, “Just try to keep the low profile, you know Miss LeClerk is still on the run.” 

“Yes, I know,” I stretched my arms, groaning deep into her throat, god I was exhausted. Thankfully my bedroll was already made, so I simply toed off her black buckled boots and wiggled my toes, god I need new socks. This one had at least four holes already,falling back on the thin bedroll with both arms covering my eyes, “Night Cripps.”

“Night,Barbara.”

* * *

By morning,after drinking at least two cups of coffee, I went out to check the Valentine Sheriff’s office in hopes of knowing what my surroundings were like. I remember the sheriff’s face a little, thick mustache and a bit of a vengeful attitude?But not his name, and as much as I’ve helped the town with the raid I doubted any of those people had any idea who I was.

The town smelled like...well, like mud and horse shit mixed together, a wet smell, it hung about the nostrils like a layer and it only got stronger the deeper you get into the town. My nose twitched a bit but I wasn’t bothered by it, after all, I’ve dealt with the worst smells since the past year.

Now I was not expecting to be the center of attention so quickly. I ignored when some of the men looked up at me in either wonder or surprise, after all I had guns and a bandolier crossed over my chest. I only sighed, this reaction wasn’t uncommon, everywhere I went women were still considered inferior even though I have proven myself more than once, hell I have scars to prove it, but I’d still be a piece of meat for them nothing more.

I tied Persephone to a pole in front of the office, giving my horse a large carrot for her to chew while I was busy inside.I tapped my clothes to get rid of any dust that might’ve landed on me while making my way towards the door. However I wasn’t expecting the Sheriff to have...company.I stood by the door with my hand on the handle, blinking owlishly at the two people inside the office, the woman quickly standing up from the sheriff’s lap and the sheriff tried, very poorly, to adjust his pants as he stood up, “Ah, I-I apologize, Miss Calthorpe was just, u-uh-”

I mean,I know this is a little town and the number of action it sees is minimal but for God’s sake, that’s not something anyone would like to see.I simply arched one eyebrow and looked between both of them, before stepping further and closing the door completely unbothered by his rambling, “It’s a bit early for this isn’t it, sheriff?” I begin, approaching the wall with the wanted posters “I mean, what if it was a little boy who wanted help with his pa and saw...whatever was going on.” I cast them a glance, I could feel the awkward tension in the air, “Ma’am.” I give the woman a quick nod towards the door and the woman wastes no time in rushing out, fumbling with her own clothes.

The sheriff clears his throat yet again, clumsily seating himself as I look around, “I...I know you don’t I?”

I almost let out a scoff, but held back on it, choosing to look at him from under my hat “I’ve helped you before. It’s all you need to know.”Amazing. I’ve almost died helping them and they don’t remember me? Hell it was just a year ago! I made my way leisurely around his office, silver spurs clicking against the wooden floor as I took in everything.Small, not enough cells and had a weird smell of mold.Unfortunately,there were no good bounties yet, so for now I had to look for work someplace else.

“Miss?”

I looked back at him, hands on my hips. His eyes moved from my face to the revolver on my waist,I could see his own hand going down towards his holster, “I’m not here to rob you,sheriff.” I begin, “I am just here to send a letter to some friends.” At that he seemed to perk up, his whole demeanor changing. “And to bathe, I believe I saw a hotel?”

The sheriff, whose name is Curtis Malloy as I remember now, was extremely helpful letting me know about what Valentine had to offer. Last time I was here I was trying to not get shot, I had little to no time noticing what was around me. After a while I leave his office and make my way down to the hotel with Persephone close behind.

I needed a good bath, with soaps and warm water. I plan on staying here at least until the girls come by, when they do I plan on traveling somewhere else, perhaps Lemoyne to check on Maggie and the Moonshine Operation, or go to Strawberry and see Harriet, maybe even check on Gus without the naturalist knowing. It’s not that I didn’t believe in what the girl did, hell it's honorable, but sometimes you can’t not shoot a bear that’s trying to eat you and your horse.

At the hotel I just asked for a bath, I know I’ll get dirty again when I walk out but my scalp was itching. The last time I washed it was so long ago I don’t even remember what clean hair felt like. The clerk gives me a small smile, probably seeing the dirt sticking to my face and how overly shiny my hair is, “The bath will be done in a few minutes, do you mind waiting?”

“No, no, actually,” I jabbed my thumb towards the outside, “I’ll have to get some supplies, is that alright?” he nods and I smile, telling him I wouldn’t take long. As I stepped outside I saw a wagon come to a stop near the stables, I can’t help but keep an eye on them. Two men, one older and shorter, probably in his late 60s hobbled down the side, while the other seemed much younger, with a black hat and a blue shirt walked towards the back of the wagon. I couldn’t see much of his face since the hat shielded it from my view.

Three females walked out, relatively young, I’d say in their early to mid twenties. I can’t help but think I know those people, but then again, I could be overthinking. They make their way up the main road and I just walk ahead, keeping them in my peripherals on my way towards the doctor. 

The doctor seems very nervous when I walk in, I offer him a small smile to show I mean no harm, but my eyes move to a door hidden in the back, I could see shadows of people walking around before disappearing completely, “Y-Yes?” the man asks, clearly trying to move my gaze back to him.

“I’d like some tonics and medicine please.” I say, placing my hands on the counter while looking outside, this town was quiet but it had something within. For example, I can’t help but look back at the doctor when he has his back to me, picking what I asked, and looking down at his shoes. His shoes were relatively clean, dry mud on its crevices but nothing enough to form perfect footprints like the ones leading out of the door in the back. Fresh, lumpy mud forming an U shape of a boot, not walking out but more likely supporting the door to keep it open. Someone the good doctor didn’t want people to know about.

He’s hiding someone here.

“There you go.” he places the bottles inside a small box and slides it to me, “Anything else,miss?”

I flick my gaze back at the door then at him, he immediately tensed up, “No,” I give him my best smile, “Thank you.” and with that I walk out. I keep in mind to check on that place later, if there’s one thing I’ve learned after many years is to read people and my surroundings, its better to find an escape or a weak spot that way. I held the box under my arm, seeing the hotel clerk peeking out looking for me. I simply gave him a wave, speeding my step because the thought of a warm bath waiting for me was the only thing moving me forward...that is until I see something.

Or better yet, someone.

The girl with the yellow dress, she was one of the girls in the wagon I saw earlier was being tugged about by a man, his back was to me so I couldn’t see his face. He was snarling something to her, the poor woman trying to pry herself from his grasp without causing much of a scene. My eyes immediately narrow and I slow my steps, the girl sees me, her eyes wide and scared, I am not sure if she wants me to help or wants me to walk away. I choose the former.

“Hey!”I begin, the man’s form tensing up when he heard my voice, “Let her go.”

“This ain’t your problem, move along!” he snarls, looking at me from over his shoulder, I am sure his glare is meant to scare me away, but I can’t do that. The girl looked terrified, poor thing. 

I narrow my eyes back at him, resting the box of medicine against my hip to walk closer, leaving my other hand free “No.” I keep my voice firm, but my walk is slow, I just want to make sure the girl is okay, “Let her go.” the phrase once again makes him fume up, his lip rising up in a snarl, “Do it and you won’t get hurt,” I just need an opening, it's all I need. I keep my eyes locked on his body movements, especially when he straightens himself, the hand holding her arm seeming to relax.

“Hurt? Do you know who you are talkin’ to-ACK!” he can’t finish his questioning because I hit him right in the chest with my palm’s heel, the man falls to the ground gasping, coughing for air as he tries to understand what happened. Then I see who it is. He’s one of Anthony Foreman’s, I’ve seen him before when Anthony tried to offer me a ‘job’. I didn’t trust that man then and I still don’t. “Y-you...you,” he coughs, trying to regain his breathing, “You b-b-bitch.”

“Yeah, yeah,” I say, “Nothing I haven’t heard before.” my attention then turns to the girl, who is staring at me with wide eyes, completely shocked. I slowly place a hand to her shoulder, ‘You okay?” she nods, still mute, “Good.” a gentle squeeze to her shoulder is all I can muster.

“T-Thank you.” she whispers back, still regaining from the shock, “I...I…”

“Hey, it's okay,” I send a glare to the guy still wheezing on the ground, forcefully kicking his leg, making him jump in place and groan, I wait until he’s limping away from us, cursing high and low towards her. The girl has her hands clutched to her chest, the same chest that was moving up and down rapidly.

“W-What's your name?” she asks as I am about to turn and leave.

I adjust the box in my arms, the bottles clinking against one another inside,while I did help this girl,I'm not comfortable sharing my name yet. Over time I’ve made enemies, who knows who this girl might have as friends?Even if Foreman thought everyone was his enemy without proof I had to be careful. I shake my head with a smile “Names aren’t needed,Miss.” I tip my hat at her “Have a nice morning.”

I hear her voice try to call me back but I’m already hurrying my way to the hotel. God I just want a bath. I tell the clerk to hold my box until I bathe, just making my way towards the bathing area and opening the door. The smell is heavenly, the tub is huge, the steam swirls around to form shapes I have no name for. My eyes immediately close as a slow smile forms over my lips “Finally.”

Before I know it I am naked, deep into the water. My eyes almost roll back into my skull, Jesus Christ this is what heaven feels like. I just let the water surround me for a while, enjoying the flowery scent, maybe there was some mint mixed with it too. I hum pleasantly, my arms dangling outside of the tub as I lean my head back, the end of my hair soaking up the water. 

I manage to scrub the grime and dirt out of me,out of my hair -jesus the sound I made the moment I started scrubbing was downright erotic-the water turning into a light shade of beige, I flick one small twig out of the water before leaning half of my body out to grab my journal and a pencil from my satchel I brought along to the bathing area.

The letters aren’t long but they do explain everything there is to be known about the area. I warned Madeline about the gangs I’ve seen and told Scotty about a giant boar Cripps and I were too shit to hunt. Giving the letters a once over, and making sure they didn’t get wet, or that I didn’t misspell any words,I snapped the journal shut and set it aside again, finishing my bath.

I was out as a new woman. My body feels ten pounds lighter. I thank the clerk with a huge relaxed smile that makes him chuckle, his chest puffed up in pride of the great service. I hop down the steps towards Persephone, who looks up in surprise, I can’t help but press a kiss to her neck as I untie her reins. A bath does wonders indeed. 

“C’mon girl, time to send some letters.” Persephone is incredibly smart, I don’t even have to turn her towards the said direction, she goes on her own as if we are one connected mind. I snort, clearly missing Madeline because this would be something she’d say. The humor leaves my face when I have a strange feeling that someone is watching me, so I look over my shoulder in hopes to see someone but I am greeted only by the same passersby.

I narrow my eyes, irises moving back and forth, making sure no one was watching me...but I do cock the revolver on my hip in any case. 

I quickly dismount Persephone, a cloud of red dust leaving the ground thanks to my boots’ impact on the solid ground. On my way inside I can’t help but hear a known voice, a voice that makes me chuckle “Cripps you old goat,” I begin, opening both doors to see the man talking to another gentleman, this man was resting on the window sill while Cripps was seated on the bench.

“Miss Barbara!” Cripps lifts a hand in greeting “Was wonderin’ when you’d show up.” I hum a greeting, nodding my head towards the other man. 

“Took a bath.” I placed the medicine box right on his lap, gently of course “Got some medicine as well.” I said making my way to the little gated window, glad I bought some envelopes earlier that week.

Cripps opened the box to peek inside “That’s a lot of medicine.” He pauses, looking up at me “How long you plan to stay out?”

I lean on the small counter, placing a hand on my hip as I look at him “Not sure. I have to wait until Maddie and Scotty arrive, I wanna scout the whole area,” I do a circle with my index finger “ Before moving on. I want some of the camping gear as well.”

“You gettin’ too good for old Cripps now?” I knew he was joking but there was a bit of hurt underneath his tone. I waited until the letters were stamped to finally approach Cripps, sitting down next to him with a sigh.

“Actually.” I begin, lowering my voice to a whisper “I need you to go back down to check on Maggie. I wanna know about the...operation. I know she’d want ME to go but you understand.”

“Miss Barbara, are ya avoidin’ Maggie?” 

“No.” Yes I was. That woman went through hell and she scares me sometimes. “Look, you are her friend, she can understand if I can’t go there personally.” He didn’t seem convinced “Come on, you’ve been traveling with me for weeks, give yourself a break.”

His already squinty eyes managed to narrow even more, just a black line of lashes covering his eyes from me “Fine. But you better let me know if ya need me.” 

“I always need you, Cripps.” I reply fondly, giving the man a side hug “Now, let’s clean camp and stay in the town, I’m dying for an actual bed.” 

* * *

I am finally waiting for the train with Cripps, the old man pulled out his harmonica to pass the time and I can’t complain about it, it’s a nice distraction. Their replies came two days later, express delivery apparently, and now we are just expecting their arrival. Valentine was complicated for jobs, I managed to do some bounties and some simple shepherding work for cash while Cripps was enjoying the time inside the hotel, after I insisted. I’ve never had this much free time, it’s strange not having something to do after I was busy for a whole year.

The faint whistling of an oncoming train snaps me out of my thoughts and gets louder and louder until the giant black locomotive rushes into our vision. We both held our hats down before they flew away thanks to the wind, I waved a hand in front of my face when the train came to a stop, trying to prevent it from entering my nostrils.

There weren’t many people walking out of the train, but I do see two figures holding large cases appearing through the smoke. Madeline's accent always gets thicker when she is excited. I whistle twice, making the heads perk up like dogs. God Scotty will hate that comparison.

“Barbara!” Madeline quickly walked through the smoke with Scotty not too far behind. Madeline’s blonde hair was held together by a French braid, a blue bow keeping it tied on the back, her cream colored dress with light pink accents making her look like a doll fresh out of the market. She engulfs next into a tight hug that just leaves the air out of my lungs, I wince when her skinny arms lock tight around my ribs “I’ve missed you so!!”

“Yeah I…” my voice is strained. “ I can see that.” 

“Maddie let her go, you’ll kill her.” Scottys southern drawl teases, lazily approaching the two of us with one of her hands deep inside her pants pocket, the brown fabric moving as she made her way over, the red fringed vest she wore covered a very worn white blouse and the gray cap on her head did nothing on covering the bright red strands she called hair “Barbara.”

I can just wheeze out a greeting before Maddie decided to hug Cripps, no doubt snapping his spine in the process. Scotty removed her hat to run her fingers through the short red bangs over her forehead, looking around with pursed lips “Ain’t so bad,” she slips her hands back inside her pockets “Been here long?”

“In the town just a few days.Right Cripps?” I asked Cripps, who was weakly patting Maddie on the back so she’d let him go, he gave me a weak nod. 

Scotty runs a digit down the window sill, rubbing the dust together with the tips of her fingers “What’s the plan then? Ya ain’t here to check the scenery.”

I shrug, “I don’t really know. I guess I want to explore? We’ve been very busy last year and now...with less issues,”Scotty arches one eyebrow “Maybe we can just enjoy some time together? Just for fun.” to be fair this is new for me, I needed someone by my side who’d give me a bit of sanity during these new times. And while I do love Cripps,I didn’t need a big camp area for that.

Cripps took the train ride back to Lemoyne, announcing quite loudly he’d be back in a snap of fingers. We just waved him off from the window, I made sure to give him a good seat, he deserved it. After the girls got their horses from the train Madeline looked at me, “Where to?”

“The saloon.” I smile, “Let’s have lunch and talk about our options, how’s that?” they agree with a smile, reflecting my own grin. The three of us ride back to Valentine in comfortable silence, maybe this new venture won’t be as bad.


	2. A Face in the Brawl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bullies, brawls and boars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *leans on my hand* You must be asking yourself, can I stop? And I say, no absolutely not, never.

Scotty entered the saloon first, opening the swinging doors wide as she made her way inside, peeking out to check if we were coming or not. I just rolled my eyes, letting Madeline go up the steps ahead of me with her skirts held up while I walked out from the stables where the horses would stay while we had something to eat. Walking in I couldn’t help but notice that some of the patrons were looking their way, dragging their eyes up and down their forms before talking to each other. My eyes narrowed when one of the men looked my way, which quickly turned his eyes downcast the moment our eyes met.

“Barbara!” Madeline’s light accent rolled the r’s on my name harder, “What would you like to eat?” I shrug, letting her tell me the options, Beef Stew and Lamb’s Fry. Honestly, both are great options for someone who only had porridge for breakfast. We sat down on a table next to the staircase after ordering three lambs, me and Scotty were drinking beer while Maddie decided to drink water. 

I pulled out a map,spreading it on the table while our food was being prepared, taking the time to show the girls the area “Cripps and I camped here.” I said pointing to the hill that overlooked the whole town of Valentine, dragging my finger down to an area nearby “This is where we saw the giant boar.”

Scotty’s eyes glinted, her mouth twitching into a grin “How big?” 

“ **_Enormous_ ** , about the size of a bison calf with tusks this fucking big.” I show the size holding my hands apart, the redhead smirking now “He has a lot of fucking meat.” 

“Hmmm,” Scotty rubs her chin, tapping the index finger against her lower lip “Sounds promising.” 

I smile back, “It does. You know,I’ve noticed…” my fingernail taps on the table as I speak, “This is probably a vacation for us...considering we were so busy helping Jessica last year.” I can’t help but lower my voice, who knows who’d be listening to our conversation, especially now Jessica went into hiding. Perhaps to me it's more than a vacation, working keeps me busy, if I am busy I don’t have to remember stuff and if I don’t have to remember stuff then I’m okay. 

“I suppose so,” Madeline offers, her mouth curving into a smile, “It’s going to be fun, I’ve missed you two very much.”

“How’s the book coming along,Maddie?”

At the mention of her book,Madeline immediately opened her side bag, grabbing a leather covered journal from inside, “Look,” she opened it to show us its contents. It’s still rough and written in pencil but I can see some of the lines she wrote, “It’s about a girl who is trying to run from her past,” her voice softens and I can’t help but notice it feels a lot more personal to Maddie than I thought, but her happiness is soon brought back when she says, “And she meets friends along the way that help her, oh! She also meets a mysterious man who has the answers to everything!”

Scotty leans back on the chair, scratching her neck, “Hey as long we get paid.” the blonde girl playfully slaps her shoulder, “Come on, we know it’s based off of us. I want my share when it becomes a bestseller, wouldn’t you Barbara?” I just smile, holding my hands up in a ‘I won’t get involved’ way. This was fun, having them here was a great idea. 

Lunch was quite calm, we still got some looks but no problems yet at least. We make our way off the table when I see him again. It’s the same cowboy from a few days ago, blue shirt, black hat, from where I am I can see a bit of a scruff this time. He looks angry or annoyed...or both, he’s talking to two other men who I didn’t see come in earlier, a short one with a bowler hat and a blue jacket and a tall one with long black hair and a blue shirt.

They have prostitutes with them, figures. I look at them by the corner of my eyes while I approach the bartender to pay for our lunch when I hear the women say something along the lines of, ‘is that how you talk to a lady?’ 

_ “I didn’t know I was talkin’ to a  _ **_lady_ ** _.”  _

I bite back a smile, it was a bit funny I have to admit. But it offended the women because they just walked away with a frown, the taller guy tried to grab one of the two, almost leaning over the counter in the process. Maddie and Scotty appeared by my side as I watched, I couldn’t help but grin at the scene, “What’s happenin’?” Scotty asked quietly, “Ya know ‘em?”

“Never seen before,” I reply under my breath, offering the bartender a smile before I turn on my heel, glad they are at a distance from us so they don’t hear us talking, “They aren’t from town however,” I continue, lowering my head to look at Scotty, “I’ve seen the one with the black cowboy hat come by with another man and some girls earlier in the week.”

“Hm.” Scotty’s hazel eyes move to the trio briefly, “Probably travelers.”

“Maybe,” I nod at the bartender and we make our way outside, no longer talking when we pass the three men, last thing we need is them knowing they were the topic of our chat, albeit briefly. I look at Maddie one more time to ask her something when I am basically barreled back inside, there’s a strong impact on my shoulder that makes my back hit Maddie’s front, her hands going up automatically to hold me.

“Watch where ya goin’, woman!” a voice growls at me. He's tall with a thick beard, tilted hat, looking at me with disgust as if it was my fault that I slammed on him. Scotty and Maddie tensed up, my redheaded friend narrowing her eyes while Madeline placed a hand on my back.

“Me?” my voice rises up in shock, “You were the one entering like a goddamn bear!” my shoulder is slightly sore, he’s much larger than I am, I’m sure it’ll bruise.I keep my glare at him, the patron’s gaze now focused on us, “I was on my way out! Couldn’t you be smart enough to see someone leaving an establishment before coming barging in like an idiot?”, I see his eye twitch at my response, he seemed taken aback, clearly not expecting me to say something. We stare at each other for a few more minutes before Maddie’s voice comes up, breaking the deafening silence, her hands gently pushing me towards the outside, ‘it’s not worth it’ she says under her breath, patting my arm.

I keep my glare on him when we walk past the doors and his on me, Scotty is walking backwards after me and Maddie, almost like a shield between the two of us, her glare just as menacing towards him.I hear someone trying to pull him back, telling him to calm down. My anger doesn’t subside as we walk down towards the stables, clenching my fists tight enough to feel the fingerless leather gloves cutting my fingers.

“Charmin’ folk” Scotty’s dry voice comes from behind me. I am still blazing with fury, my shoulder hurts like a bitch and I am not the one to back down from a fight like that, I just did it because Madeline asked me, “I think he’s friends with the trio we was talkin’ ‘bout.” Scotty said, digging her hands deep inside her pockets “The long haired guy held him back.”

“Well,” I scoff, “Then I guess we know the type of people they are.” I know I’m saying this out of anger, I don’t know who they are or even plan to know. All I know is that I’m still pissed, ready to go back inside and teach that brute a lesson. Except my anger fizzles for a moment when I feel a droplet hit my hand, thunder rolling up in the distance, our gazes move to the sky only to see the sunlight is completely gone being covered by thick rain clouds. “Damn it. We better leave soon or else we’ll be completely soak-”

There’s the sound of a glass breaking and a body is being launched out of the saloon deep into the mud, the three of us look towards the direction after being startled by the noise, well two of us, Maddie was inside the stables even before the rain started. It’s the black hat cowboy, well, now without the said hat, trying to stand up on the slippery mud, stumbling a bit to regain his balance when a giant man comes out of the saloon.

People started to swarm the area, I see his two friends, well three if you consider the giant bully, cheering for him. I can’t hear his name under the constant shouting coming from the bystanders...was that the sheriff? The sheriff was watching this and doing nothing? 

“Jesus Christ,” Scotty says, “He’s goin’ to get himself killed.,”I crane my neck to have a better look, the rain starts getting stronger, wetting our clothes in the process. I don’t know why I want to know what will happen, nor why my feet are taking me closer, Maddie and Scotty calling my name as I approach the commotion, taking shelter inside the stables. I can see little to nothing, the rain making it hard for me to notice anything clearly, but the crowd is going wild. 

_ “Get ‘im Tommy!” _

_ “Show ‘im Tommy!!” _

The black cowboy hat is by my feet, caked in mud. I hear the sound of bones cracking and something heavy hitting the ground. The cowboy had ‘Tommy’ down, beating him senseless until the giant man was practically unconscious, only stopping when one of the bystanders begged him to. A thin man, frail, looked very sick, he appeared in front of the cowboy with his hand up, 'You won the fight already, surely that's enough?' I heard him say. This man was frail enough that if the cowboy so desired he could send him flying, but he didn't. He just stood to his feet while Tommy stayed down , the cowboy, he had blond hair huh? rubbing his sore jaw, mutterng something under his breath. The crowd started to disperse while complaining, wishing for a better show, apparently a man going down completely cold wasn’t fun enough. 

“Barbara! Barbara!” I felt a hand tug my arm, snapping my gaze from the scene towards the voice. Scotty was soaked as I was, annoyed as well since she had to leave the stables to get me out of the rain, “The hell ya doin’? Ya gettin’ all wet!” I let her guide me away from there, but I looked over my shoulder to see the cowboy putting his hat on and looking at me, his mouth parted while his chest moved up and down, breathing through the adrenaline.

I don’t know why I looked back at him.

* * *

It took us some time to leave Valentine, and a couple baths as well, but when we did we were on a mission. I can’t say that hunting the boar was easy, especially when I saw that thing up close, it was bigger than I thought. No doubt we had to be quick, climb on trees in hopes it wouldn’t hit us with its tusks,it took us at least five shots before it fell limp, the sound of its body hitting the ground was so loud I am sure it scared critters from miles away.

I held the tusks for myself, they are huge, bigger than my hand and sharp. This could easily be a bone knife even without proper shaping; I could always give them to Gus and see what magic he can do with them. It had so much meat each of us had a piece of it on our horses’ rumps, making them move a lot slower than before, “Ya weren’t kiddin’.” Scotty said as we carefully made our way down the hill, one hand on the rein and the other putting a cigarette between her lips, “That’s one big boy right there, never seen one this big.”

“I told you.” I begin, trying to balance myself when Persephone tries to walk around the rocky ground, “Not too bad for the first day huh? I think it’s going to be fun. Gotta give old Cripps a break, he’s been hanging around for a while.”

My tone makes Madeline frown, “Is he okay?”

“Yes, yes it’s just…” I pause, licking my lips, “I don’t want him getting hurt, that boar was too big. Heavens know if it was only Cripps and myself, I don’t think either of us would be around to tell the tale.” Persephone’s hooves finally touch stable ground, being followed by Melvin - why did Scotty name her horse Melvin I’ll never know- and Caramel close behind. With the rain now gone, it was so much easier to walk around without being bothered by the mud or slippery ground. 

“Do we have a plan?” Scotty asked, fingers in a scissors shape about to grab the cigarette from her lips, holding between the two fingers as the smoke left through her nostrils. “Are we goin’ to make it up as we go?”

“Sure.” I smile, “I think this is more of a free time, we don’t have to follow a schedule. We can do whatever we want. We don’t have to rob horses or...worry about lawmen coming by and asking us dumb questions. I know we didn’t do a lot of ‘illegal’ stuff that’d call their attention besides that time we rode in a stolen carriage.”

“To be fair it was used by a gang,” Madeline added, her sweet accented voice a contrast to the subject she was speaking of, “It’d be better to give it to someone else who’d use it for a good reason. Which we did! I think we are perhaps...a type Robin Hood maybe? We don’t really rob innocent people or anything like that, we help those in need and well take it from the bad guys.” she made it seem simple, there were no shootings in her version, “And sometimes people pay us in gratitude.”

We trotted back to Valentine to sell the bigger parts we knew we wouldn’t be able to carry for more than a week. The butcher’s eyes widened when I slammed the giant leg down and I swear his eyes shone with happiness, that was a lot of meat he could sell. While Scotty and the butcher talked, I couldn’t help but look back at the doctor’s office, I couldn’t take what I’ve seen out of my head. 

Madeline’s head tilted towards the direction I was looking at, hands behind her back as she approached me, “What’s wrong? We got enough medicine.”

“No, it’s not that.” I hop back onto Persephone after we get paid by the meat, moving away from the butcher to have more privacy. “When I got here I went to see the doctor,” I nod my head towards the location, Scotty coming up by my side to listen, “He seemed fidgety, anxious, maybe a bit sweaty too.”

“Ya think he’s usin’ somethin’?” Scotty asks in a quiet voice, I shake my head negatively

“No, he’s hiding someone there.” I whisper, “I saw a boot print leading to the outside, but his shoes were clean. Whoever it is he desperately doesn’t want the townsfolk knowing. Not to mention I’ve seen some strange men lately ever since I got here. Dressed in thick coats, hiding in the shadows or just harassing people nonstop.”

Scotty’s hazel eyes moved from me to the doctor’s office, our horses approaching the house, “Then let’s investigate.” she shrugs, “What have we got to lose? We ain’t doin’ nothin’ after all.”

Madeline opened her mouth, then closed it, lips thinning. I knew she wanted to say something but didn’t know what or how to, “Go ahead Maddie”

The blonde’s blue eyes sparkled at the permission, “I just...well,” she ran a hand over Caramel’s dark mane, twisting the strands gently, “If we do, maybe we can do without much noise? If there is something happening as well. We have to make sure.”

I hum pensively, she isn't wrong. The reason for this ‘adventure’ was to not worry too much, especially about possible lawmen, just a short break from what our reality was about. I bite my lower lip in thought, “She’s right though,” I turn to Scotty who was fixing the cap on her head, pulling the red strands up and inside of it “We need proof something is happening before we act, remember the time we stumbled into that orgy house in the middle of Timberland forest because it was abandoned and people thought it was haunted?”

The memory makes both of my friends groan in disgust, Maddie covers her face with both hands, I can see the blush even under all that rice powder, leaning forward to let her forehead touch Caramel’s neck. Scotty however had her arm over her eyes, biting back a smile while her chest shook with held back laughter. “So not doing anything without proof, alright? Let’s see what we can find first.” I gently nudge Persephone on the ribs, the smile on my face only widening.

I let Madeline step in the doctor’s office, she’s sweet and clever enough to gather information without the target even knowing what happened while myself and Scotty waited across the street on a closed shop, both of us leaning back against the paneled wall. My arms are crossed as I watch,I can see Maddie’s blonde hair through the window, “I wonder if she’s using the young widow act.”

“Nah,’ Scotty pulls out a cigarette, lifting her boot to light a match on it’s sole, “She’s usin’ the ‘ma daddy is sick’ card, I’m sure.” we keep our gaze there, but I can see Scotty’s slow drag on her cigarette, something she only does when she’s annoyed or worried, “Somethin’ ain’t right with this town”

I frown, “You noticed it too, huh?”

The smoke leaves her lips in serpentine movements, curling in the air, “The sheriff,” she nods towards his office, “He the one ya helped last time?” I nod, “The same man that watched a mud brawl outside the saloon without steppin’ in? He let a sick man do it instead. Poor bastard could barely stand.” she noticed my eyebrow go up in question, and she smirked, “He knows ‘bout the secret room.”

“You think so?”

“Either him or someone who works for him,” she takes another long drag, blowing the smoke in circles this time, “Look,” she used the hand holding the cigarette to point towards the offices, “Glued together. There’s no way that man doesn’t know the smell of manure even when ya step on it. He knows somethin’ is goin’ on.”

While part of me agreed the sheriff had something shady going on,I wasn’t so sure he was involved, “Maybe he’s just  **very** distracted. Thinking with the lower head.” Scotty’s amused ‘oooh’ makes me grin, “Wanna know the best? Both of them are married, I saw the markings on their ring fingers when I interrupted their session.”

“Ooohhh...scandalous. What would the church say hm?” the people in Valentine look at us strangely as we laugh, snickering to each other about this newfound discovery. Madeline rushed her way over, with a small bag in her hands, eyebrows furrowing at us, “Ah, it’s nothin’, what did ya find?”

“Well,” Madeline looks back at the doctor’s office, “He’s definitely hiding someone in there. I used the sick father act,” Scotty looked up at me in amusement, “And he let me know, very quietly, about certain problems he’s having but immediately cut himself off. As far as I could see, there’s only one key that leads to the door and he has it on him at all times...but I dont think its the only way in.” both me and Scotty arched our eyebrows, “Wandering around an empty Doctor’s Office in the middle of the night can be suspicious.”

Now that she mentioned it, I’ve seen a metal door behind the Sheriff’s office but it seemed abandoned, it had weeds and junk all around the small area. Maybe that’s the other way in. “I think I know how we can get in.” my smile only widens at their stares, “But not now, we better wait until the sun sets, last thing we need is calling attention.”

With the plan already set in our minds we decide to pass the time in our own ways: Madeline chose to go back to the hotel and work on her book, Scotty went to the gunsmith in hopes to get her guns clean and organized, as for me, I’ve decided to walk around with Persephone. I wasn’t in the mood to stay cooped just yet after all.

When I turned the corner to the saloon I saw a man, the same man that ended the conflict earlier that day in front of a little stand. My eyes drag down to the small sign by his feet ‘Donations for the poor.’

I dismount Persephone, her reins tight in my grasp as I approach him, “Hello, sir.”

“Hello Miss,” he offers me a small smile, “Would you be interested in donating?”

His voice was hopeful, I had a feeling the people here weren’t really helping him out that much ,”Sure,sir.” I slide 5 dollars into the little slit, tapping the lid for emphasis, offering a smile, “Hope it helps.”

“Thank you, Miss-” his words broke when a violent cough took over him, his fist coming up to cover his mouth. When he pulled his hand away my eyes widened, was that blood? The man sighed, pulling a handkerchief from his back pocket to wipe the crimson liquid off his fingers, “I apologize,” he has some after coughs, his body shaking when he breathed, “I...I’ve been sick.”

That I can notice. God, I hate how that brings me back memories, “I...I am so sorry,” my own voice cracks, a memory flashing inside my brain before I can help it.

_ “Sick? Oh ladybug, it’s just a cold.” a gravelly voice tries to calm me down, “I’ll be back on my feet before you know it.” _

I clench my eyes without noticing, my jaw clenching when I try to hold back the pressure forming on my throat, choosing to clear it instead, “I…” my feet move backwards before I can stop it, “Do you...well, do you need help?” God what am I doing? Seeing that man coughing up brought me back memories I wish I could forget, it wasn’t his fault obviously but I couldn’t help but get closer to Persephone, almost using her as a comfort shield.

“It’s very kind of you,” his voice sounded tired, “But...don’t worry. It won’t last.” that makes me suck in a harsh breath, it means he had little time left. Damn it. I can’t help but notice people looking towards him and either glaring or whispering to one another “I appreciate it miss, you have a kind soul.

_ “Don’t get too close now, ladybug, daddy *coughs* got a mean one.” _

“I…” my tongue peeks out to wet my lips, “Do you live far from here?”

“No, not too far,” he points over the treeline “I have a small ranch, with pigs, a goat and an ox.” I smile softly at him, noticing how his gaze casts downwards, “My wife and son have been helping me lately.”

“They seem to be fine people.” I offer after a while. I can’t help but feel bad, no one should have to suffer with this and I applaud this man trying to give his family a better life, even at the end of his, but I know this will only make the disease act faster. I know it all too well. I looked towards the direction he said his ranch was then back at him, I couldn’t just ask him to help around the ranch even if part of me, the five years old who just wanted to help but never could part of me, desperately wanted me to offer him a hand. “Perhaps...well,” I look back at the side satchel tied to the saddle,where a chunk of boar meat still sat, considering we still had enough that didn’t have to be sold I’m sure this wouldn’t be missed and it could help them a lot more.

“Do you like boar meat?”


	3. The Meeting of the Waters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Confrontations, boar stew and cheap brandy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really love what I'm writing and it has been a while I've felt like this, so if you like this story thank you so much! Even if it doesnt have a lot of kudos/comments I still appreciate the people who liked it, it really meants a lot to me.
> 
> The Doctor in Valentine is one of my favorite little missions, and while in RDO I love entering gang hideouts and shooting up the place :) which is why I had to write this ewe
> 
> The Meeting of the Waters by Thomas Moore

“You gave him the meat?” Scotty asked as we sat on Valentine’s cemetery, using the tombstones as hiding spots, giving us the perfect view of the metal door that was our way in whatever operation was happening right under the sheriff’s nose. It took us some time to talk to the doctor and convince him we could help, I knew he wasn’t sure about it at first and tried to lose us when we talked to him. But when we finally cornered him, he broke down.

He said he did business with the O’Driscoll’s before but that’s no longer the case. He made a lot of mistakes in his past and for the sake of his wife and children he just wanted to move on from that, but the gang continued to intimidate him nonstop,to the point they threatened to end his wife’s life. And when he said the sheriff KNEW about it, about the protection money Scotty simply said ‘told ya’ with a satisfied grin.

“Yeah, we still have plenty.” I offer her a shrug followed by a small smile,”They were very grateful, and invited me for lunch tomorrow.”

“Aw, that’s so sweet of them!” It always surprised me to hear Madeline’s sweet voice and see her holding a revolver that could blow someone’s head miles away, I always say she’s a walking contradiction, “Are you going?”

“I guess so, they seemed to be nice folk, I don’t want to appear rude and not show up.”

“They are easily friendly to someone they’ve never seen before.” Scotty mumbles, her eyes flashed uncertainty for a brief second “Just be careful, just ‘cause they appear nice don’t mean ya shouldn’t have ya gun with ya.” 

“I know,I know.” I nudged her arm with my elbow , “I knew inside that hard shell hides a soft heart.” Scotty rolls her eyes, pushing my hat over my face and I couldn’t help but chuckle silently. My laughter comes to a stop when I hear the sound of heavy metal being moved, the three of us going immediately silent and I pull my hat back up to see what’s happening. A voluptuous figure swaying her way into the door, one of her arms wrapped around a man who is just nuzzling her neck, tugging her inside. “Interesting.”

“Men are men no matter where,” Scotty said with a wry grin, “What we do?”

I chew my lower lip in thought, standing up from my squatting position with the other two following suit, “Follow me.” I whisper, my eyes see a faint light coming from the inside the small room, even with the windows boarded up. We keep our bodies low, the last thing we need is for them or anyone to see us here. I pressed my back against the front wall, trying to hear what is happening inside and so far, it seemed nothing too salacious was going on just yet. “Maddie,” the blonde looked at me in surprise, “Check through the boards and tell us what you see.”

Madeline nodded, stepping to the side for a few minutes while Scotty and I waited in silence. How to enter this place without making a noise would be difficult but not impossible. We just had to play our cards right. Madeline comes back after a while, crouching next to us, “They are drinking, apparently not the first bottle of the night because I heard one of them stumbling around glass before cursing;I also saw a safe across the window but that’s it so far.” drunken gang members are worse than sober gang members, not to mention loud as hell...but if we were fast enough there wouldn’t be any sound.

I bite my lower lip harder, fingers tapping on my revolver’s barrel before I push myself off the ground, “Let’s go in,” I nod at Scotty, “Your knives ready?”

Scotty smirks, tapping the dark red leather satchel at her hip fondly, “Always are.”

I nod, holstering my gun to kneel on the muddy ground. I sighed in thanks for wearing leather pants today instead of my usual dark jeans, I know it’d destroy them. With my lockpick in hand I carefully started to open the lock,Maddie was the lookout for anyone approaching the area,while Scotty was pressing her ear to the wall, moving her eyes around as she tried to listen.

Thankfully, this lock was old enough for the mechanisms inside to become loose. I could hear the final click that meant the door was unlocked but it remained shut. Our breathing held in our throats, I couldn’t help but get giddy at the idea of doing this. I look at Scotty for a response from the inside, but she furrowed her eyebrows, pressing her face harder against the stone wall, “I hear snorin’.” she whispers after a while, I could feel my heart about to leave my chest as I let out a breath of relief.

I carefully pushed the door outwards, the snoring from the inside becoming louder so we had to be quick before someone peeked their head outside. Scotty slides in first, her knives already in hand for a quick attack. I just hear a low whistle and the sound of gurgling, then nothing, “How many,Scotty?”

“Four before, now two with the woman.” she whispers back. Madeline ushers me inside before she closes the door herself and we have to squint to see something in there. I’m already pulling up my bandanna, unholstering my gun while stepping closer to the sleeping couple, curling my nose at the smell coming from the room. I look back at Madeline, she is already trying to unlock the safe while my eyes return to the two.

The candlelight shows me the glint of a gun on the nightstand by his side, I make a quick movement to snatch it away before giving it to Scotty. I hold my gun right at his face, kicking the bed to wake them up. I hear confused noises, the couple slowly opening their eyes ‘What the hell?” the man’s groggy voice “Rick? Is that ya?” I see him freeze when I cock my revolver, the woman in his arms immediately widening her eyes, “W-Who’s there?”

“The Ghost of Christmas’ past.” I smirk, pressing the nozzle to his chin, “You guys are awfully sneaky, hiding right behind the sheriff office, harassing a doctor enough to make him paranoid.” I press the gun harder into his chin, the woman by his side seeming to adjust herself, lowering her arm to the side, “Ma’am, if you try anything I will shoot you, so don’t. For now I want to talk.”

“If ya hurt me, people will come after ya.” he sneers, “Ya ever heard of the O’Driscolls?”

Of course I have. Have killed plenty. But he doesn’t have to know that. I furrow my eyebrows, feigning confusion, “O’Driscolls?” I looked at Scotty who had just finished checking the two corpses, stuffing their things in her pockets, “Have you heard about them?” she smirks but shakes her head negatively, “Maddie?What about you?” the blonde’s response was a ‘nope’ being followed by an ‘aha!’, she opened the safe, “Sorry, never heard of them.” 

“What I do know however is,” I drag the nozzle up to his forehead, making sure he feels the cold iron moving up his skin, “You better end this. Whatever the doctor did in the past I’m quite certain he doesn’t want to continue it no more.” I look back to the woman who was cowering next to him, her hand clenched to his dirty shirt, “Now, here’s my dilemma: I either kill you or I let you go. Problem is, if I let you go that means you can bring more of your gang here-”

“Please don’t kill me! I know where their leader is! There’s a lot of money involved!” the woman begged, the O’Driscoll looking at her in surprise, “Please,  _ please  _ don’t kill me.”

“That was awful fast,” Scotty’s voice became suddenly interested, so she approached the two, “Why should we believe ya? Ya an O’Driscoll as much as this slob is.”

The woman started to sob, the guy trying to yank himself away but I just pushed him back down onto the bed with the gun still pointed to his face, his hands immediately going up in surrender as I looked at the blonde prostitute, “Go ahead.” she explained, through hyperventilation and tears, that their leader was in a place called Six Point Cabin, there’d be money there, a lot of it. I know the O’Driscoll in her arms is angry, fuming, he’d kill her if I wasn’t shoving my gun up his head. 

He breathed through gritted teeth, “You fuckin’ bitch.” 

“My life is more important than you Donal,” she sniffs, wiping her nose with her arm, “I knew gettin’ tangled with you was a mistake! I knew it!”

“Let’s say we believe ya,” Scotty’s drawl seemed stronger when she spoke quietly, “There ain’t no proof y’all won’t send people here, to attack the town.” with one of her throwing knives being tossed in the air, spinning, then being held at the handle, pointing it to the man’s face, “So what’s it gon’ be? As much as we ‘ppreciate the lady’s help, we don’t know if we can trust y’all.”

The man,Donal, licked his chapped lips, eyes crossed looking at my gun’s barrel, one single sweatdrop slid from the middle of his forehead to the bridge of his nose. “Colm...is goin’ to kill y’all..”

“He wouldn’t be the first to try, honestly. But we aren’t going to let that happen, are we?” I quip, tilting my head inquisitively.

He was silent. For a while, until I saw him try to reach for something under the bed, probably another gun or a weapon. At that moment I knew using my gun would make too much noise, so I hit him with the holster, making him dizzy before I yanked my hunting knife out and stabbed him on the chest, dangerously close to the woman’s hand. The prostitute finally pulled back from him, pressing her back to a wall, eyes wide as she placed her hands over her mouth. 

Donal gurgled for breath, spits of blood landing on his face and his shirt, his wide eyes staring at me, his hands curling in the air with life finally leaving his body “We should’ve known he’d try somethin’.” Scotty said from behind me, I only nodded in silence, grabbing the end of his coat to wipe my knife clean. I flick my gaze back to the woman, who seemed to shrink, wanting to hide herself into the wall, her lower lip quivering, there was blood on her clothes now and in this new position, I could see the gun strapped to her leg.

She seemed to notice as well, because she tried to cover it up with her skirts. Feebly so.

“You are going to get the hell out of here,” my voice comes out quietly, “You are going to get out and not look back.Not a word of this has to be said, am I clear?” the woman nods quickly, tears sliding down her face, “If you try anything,” I jab my thumb at Maddie, “My friend here knows how to kill as well, just as deadly as us two. Don’t get mistaken because of her baby face.”finally satisfied, I gave a step back, my hands on my hips, to give her space, then nodded towards the door, “Go.”

She didn’t have to be told twice, climbing over Donal’s corpse, getting her feet stuck between his legs and falling face first to the floor where some of his blood had dribbled onto. She sobbed to herself while untangling from the cadaver, hurrying her way to the door, we could hear running away from us until we were finally greeted with silence.

We look at each other, my eyebrows rising when I pull the bandanna down, “That was fast.”

“Faster than we ever did before,” Scotty smirked, patting her pockets, “Got a lot of cash and,” she nods at Maddie, ‘Looks like Maddie found a new gun.”

“Why do you have to call me babyface?’ Madeline huffed, holding her new gun with a small pout, “I am not so young. I am 24 years old!”

Scotty smirked choosing to answer her while I went through Donal’s pockets in hopes to get something of value, “Ya look like a 12 years old sometimes, ya just ain’t the same height.” while the two ‘bickered’ quietly, I pulled out a folded piece of paper from Donal’s vest, unfolding it to reveal a map, sketchy and very rough, no doubt being drawn in a rush. The dotted line led to a crude drawing of a hill with stick drawn figures with tiny spikes...I think those are supposed to be trees, with a tiny drawing of a house - really a child could’ve drawn this and I wouldn’t have known - with the square and triangle on top and in chickeny letters were the words ‘Six Point Cabin’. 

My mouth parted in a smile, I folded the map closed to slip it inside my boot, patting Donal’s cold shoulder “Thanks Donal. This will really help us out.” and as silent as we got inside, we left, not even a mouse heard us.

* * *

I hitched Persephone to the fence outside of the Downes’ Ranch, tapping my clothes out of any dust while I made my way up towards the entrance. A beautiful Border Collie came up to me, he remembers me from one day before I suppose, happily wagging his tail to greet me, “Hey boy!” I cooed, kneeling down to scratch him behind the ears, laughing when his bicolored eyes closed in bliss.

“Miss Barbara!” a female voice greeted me and I looked up. Mrs. Downes smiled sweetly, wiping her hands with a cloth, “We are so glad you agreed to join us.”

“Oh I,” I rose to my feet, my hat in my hand while I ran my fingers through my bangs, trying to wipe the sweat away, the dog whining in complaint “You were so nice inviting me, it’d be rude to not show up.” I offer her a small smile. She was a kind woman, hardworking, with Mr.Downes sick it was up to her and her son to take care of the ranch until...well... 

“Well you were a kind soul for giving us such a big piece of boar.” she was truly thankful. When I went to the ranch I noticed their crops were still growing, just a few pigs..a goat, an ox and an old horse. They didn’t have much, and neither had time. “Please, please enter!” she stepped aside to open the door wider, I nodded in thanks, my spurs hitting the floor as I made my way inside.

It was a relatively small house, certainly they didn’t get a lot of visitors because there wasn’t a lot of space for them. The round table was small, appearing even smaller with the large pot in the middle. It smelled delicious, reminded me of simpler times, “Miss Barbara!” Mr.Downes voice came from the side, so I turned my face to offer him a smile, “Thank you for joining us today.”

“It’s my pleasure,” I reply, not able to hide the way the corners of my mouth quirked downwards, he looked paler and weaker than yesterday, Jesus. He held out his hand in the direction of a chair, suggesting I should sit down. His son shows up minutes after, his eyes meeting mine and then turning his face away, a light blush on his cheeks. He did appear to be very interested in talking to me yesterday. 

As I suspected, the table was small which meant the seating space was small. I clenched my legs together so I wouldn’t end up brushing my knee against Mrs.Downes by accident, or worse, kneeled the table when I went to adjust myself. When we began to eat I noticed that Mrs.Downes would cut her husband’s meal into tiny pieces, making it easier for him to swallow.

_ “Ladybug, could you cut this apple for daddy?” _

Without noticing I suck air through my nose, then clench my eyes. I don’t need this now. I can’t have this now, please. “Miss Barbara?” Mrs.Downes voice makes me open my eyes, her eyebrows are curved down in a worried gaze, “Are you alright?”

“Oh...yes,I am.” I hold out the spoon that contained the stew, desperate to change the subject, “This is really delicious,Mrs.Downes.” the woman’s worried gaze melts into a warm look, her cheeks flushing with the compliment.

“Well,I’ll have to admit I’ve never done boar before,” she smiles gently, “But I’ve done pig, so it’s not that different.”

“I believe not.” I smile, taking another bite of the stew. It’s really good, it had some mixed herbs and big tomato chunks that melted in my mouth. We talk for a little while before we are done with lunch, my stomach curving out of my pants just a little bit, but I am so glad I decided to join them. They are kind people, Thomas and Edith clearly love each other and she’s always there to help him, until the end I believe.

“Miss Barbara, I hope this ain’t much to ask.” their son finally talked, but he’s not meeting my eyes, instead he chooses to play with the tablecloth, “...where are you from? I ain’t ever seen you before...because,” he clears his throat, “A woman like yourself, it’d be hard to miss.”

_ “Archie!”  _ Mrs.Downes voice reprimanded from where she was setting the empty pot now, “That’s rude, you can’t just say that to Miss Barbara-”

“No!No,no!It’s quite alright!” my hands move back and forth to show I don’t see any harm in the question, but I also don’t know how to answer it correctly. I don’t want to give much into my life, not even my own friends know a lot about it, so I had to know what to say without explaining too much, “Well, I...I am from the East, originally. I’ve been moving around ever since then and well, now I’m here.”

Archie nodded, his eyes finally meeting mine and I see a look of wonder, “And...where did you learn how to hunt?”

“My uncle Matias taught me, he used to have a sheep farm, nothing too fancy but he’d always hit some wolves or coyotes that’d try to steal them.” my eyes lower to my hands resting above my thighs, “We used to see a lot of them around the mountains.” I immediately bit my lips, that’s enough information. More information means more memories, enough.

“The mountains? What mountains-“

Probably noticing my discomfort, Mrs.Downes stepped in”Archie, enough prodding.” I let out a breath of relief through my nose, my shoulders visibly relaxing. Thank God for that woman. I helped Mrs.Downes cleaning the dishes while Mr.Downes said he’d take care of the crops much to his wife’s discontentment, she just wanted him to take it easy and I understood. But I also knew how someone who was used to a routine would try to keep it as normal as possible, not wanting to remember why it wasn’t a routine any longer.

When we were done with the dishes I walked up to the window to see the weather outside, I’ve seen some gray clouds in the distance so the last thing I needed was yet another downpour to turn me into some wet mutt. My eyes then move to Mr.Downes who is very slow with his movements, almost if the hoe he’s holding weighs 200 points, hitting the ground hard enough to send earth speckles flying. I can’t help my lips from frowning, I feel Mrs.Downes presence besides me as I look, “He’s always been stubborn,” her voice is so quiet I barely understand it “We told him he doesn’t have to worry, Archie can do that for him but-”

“But he doesn’t want to feel like he’s useless.” I finish her phrase and she nods, both of our gazes looking at the poor man. I suck in a breath, “You are all very strong. Truly, Mrs.Downes. I hope...I hope you know that.”

“Thank you Miss Barbara,” her reply comes out shaky and I see her wipe the corner of her eye with a finger, “You are very kind. I do not know what you do exactly, but you seem to be a good person as well.” I dip my head to hide my smile, but I’m thankful to hear that

I decided to leave after that, I’ve overstayed my welcome. Mrs.Downes goes back in cleaning the kitchen while I walk out, I sent Mr.Downes a small smile and a wave that he weakly reciprocates. My smile immediately drops when I see a large gray horse stopping by the entrance, my eyes widening at who it was: the black hat cowboy. What is he doing here?

“Downes!” he marches into the ranch as if he owns the place, voice booming “Thomas Downes?”

My eyes immediately move to Mr.Downes, his grip on the hoe’s handle slips and it falls to the ground. “Y-Yes? Can I help you?” I don’t like how the cowboy is getting closer, nor how his jaw is clenched. I don’t know if he noticed me yet since his head is bent low with the hat covering his expressions. 

“You owe me some money Mr.Downes, it’s time to pay up.” my eyes immediately widen and my feet immediately move towards the small gate that separates the crops area from the outside. At that the man’s head finally lifts and he meets my eyes from a distance. He’s quite tall, a few inches taller than I was, broad, could probably kill a man with those giant paws of his only. The scruff on his face is a bit thicker than the last time I’ve seen him, not to mention now I could notice a patch of skin that wasn’t covered by the whiskers, no doubt it had a scar but from this distance I couldn’t check.

Our staring contest lasted for a few minutes, I wasn’t intimidated by his glare. He noticed I was in front of the gate before hopping over the fence towards the weak man. Mr. Downes immediately begged for him to stop, telling him he didn’t have the money yet. 

_ “Francesco, I don’t care if you are sick, don’t you want to feed your children? You have to pay me to do so. To prove you truly care.” _

Why is this so familiar? Why do I have to have these feelings again? I can’t help myself, I immediately pull out my revolver and cock it right behind the cowboy’s head. Everything stops moving, including him, “Stop.” I grind out the words, the anger I feel inside of me is about to burst but I just hold myself as much as I can, “Don’t give one more step.”

Mr.Downes is on the ground, one of his hands up to defend himself while the cowboy is a few feet from him, I see his fingers twitch near his holster, his body slowly turning to face me. Oh he didn’t like that. “Ma’am,” his voice takes a low turn, hat blocking his gaze on me, “This ain’t a concern to you.” I don’t lower my stance,gripping the handle tighter, “You better lower that gun if you don’t want to get hurt.”

His tone is dangerous, this man would have no qualms killing me. “Thomas!” Mrs.Downes voice comes from the left, being followed by a gasp, “M-Miss Barbara! What are you doing?!”

My eyes narrow, I don’t dare to look away from him even under that murderous gaze he has, “Or what?,” I warn, “You are going to beat a sick man to death to get money?” his form froze and something flashed in his eyes. Mr.Downes weakly sits himself up while using the fence for support, a coughing fit wracking through him. I see the cowboy move his gaze towards the man, eyes widening when the other wipes a dribble of blood going down his chin. Big, bad cowboy man gives a step back, jaw clenching tighter. I almost smirk at his reaction, “How much does he owe you?”

The cowboy’s head snaps at me, eyes wide in surprise “What?”

“Are you deaf? How much does he owe you?” my gun is still pointed at him but my free hand slides on the satchel latched to my waist, yesterday’s attack on the O’Driscoll’s little hideout gave us plenty of items to sell. And while I didn’t know this family, I was once in their shoes and was too young to understand what was happening. The pain wasn’t worth it. It’d never be. 

“I don’t know how this concerns you,we ain’t a charity business-” he lets out a shout when I toss a golden watch and some rings to his chest, items that clatter to the ground by his boots. His eyes, blue eyes that resembled a stormy sea, ready to swallow you into the depths, meet mine.

“Miss Barbara! Please, you don’t have to do that!” Thomas' words fall flat into my ears. He doesn’t understand, don’t ask me to explain why I’ve done this. Part of me screams this is stupid, why bother with someone whom I’ve met yesterday, why familiarize myself with these people? Was it because they reminded me of what I’ve lost? Because I couldn’t help my loved ones then so I have to help them now? 

The cowboy looks at his feet where the items lay, then moves his eyes back to mine. His face is a mix of emotions, he’s angry sure, but there’s a frustration building it up as well. He didn’t like when someone else took control like that. 

“Do you even know these people?” his voice is clipped, angry, “Givin’ money to someone you don’t know just to save someone else’s debt? That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen.”

“Maybe.” my breathing becomes ragged, “But at least I’m not stealing from someone who is just trying to get by, struggling to make ends meet...is it enough?” I nod towards the items on the ground, “Does it pay his debt?”

However, the man crouches down to pick the items up in his hand, checking each item with interest before placing them into his satchel as well, all the while keeping his eyes on me. 

I honestly wasn’t expecting him to actually get those. 

“It’ll do.” he snarls, answering my question from before. I am still facing the fence, revolver up to his chin as he gets closer. I don’t falter, I keep his eyes in mine while my nostrils flare, I am furious, I’d blow his head off if the family wasn’t looking at me. The cowboy stares me down, his lips thinned, “Move.”

My nose curls in anger, but I give one step back to let him pass. He almost kicks the gate out of its hinges, not saying anything else as he went to his horse. He does look over his shoulder while pulling himself up on the saddle, watching me holstering my revolver, making sure I wasn’t going to shoot him in the back. His horse, an Ardennes I believe, and himself finally gallop away from the ranch.

I let out a heavy breath, supporting my hands on my knees. That was a lot. One,two,three breathe, then repeat. I have no idea why I was so nervous, I’ve killed bigger men than him before without a single drop of fear but the moment I see someone trying to beat an already dead man I just feel the anxiety clawing inside my chest? God, too many fucking similarities.

“Miss Barbara” my back is towards Mr.Downes, who no doubt was being helped by his wife and son “You didn’t have to do that,”

“I…I wanted to.” I couldn’t do anything back then. I couldn’t. “You don’t have to repay me, please.” I know they wanted to, they are good people like that, “Just..take care of each other. Have a good day.” I am leaving the ranch before they could say anything else, hopping on Persephone with my face tight. I want to cry, but at the same time I feel a strange relief within me. I galloped away from the Downes’ ranch, the opposite direction the cowboy went and try to calm myself down.

_ “Mama? Where’s daddy?” _

God no, no, no…

_ “Mama?” _

I arrived in Valentine quicker than I noticed, rushing to the saloon to buy a bottle of Brandy or whatever the hell they had. Not even waiting to get to the hotel to take a large swig, clenching my eyes at the bitter taste and the burning going down my throat into my stomach. I leave while the patrons look at me, making my way back into the hotel. Scotty and Maddie give me questioning looks when I enter the room we share, but I say nothing, simply kick my boots and guzzle the amber colored liquid down.

I know the bitch of a headache I’ll have in the morning.


	4. Get Off the Track

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> unwanted moments and how to get them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be completely and brutally honest, I don't think I've had this much fun writing a fic in...ages? It's really good. It's been helping my creativity a whole lot :)
> 
> Get off the Track! by Jesse Hutchinson Jr.

The next morning,as I’d imagined, brought me the mother of all headaches. I couldn’t lift my head from the pillow without feeling like a group of prospectors found gold in it and used pickaxes to yank it out. I groaned out a response when Scotty asked if I was going to eat something, then decided to leave me to my agony while she and Maddie went to have breakfast. I stayed in bed a while longer, looking at the patterned ceiling with my lips tight, still remembering what happened yesterday.

That cowboy was going to beat a sick man to death because of some money, some debt Mr.Downes managed to get because he had to help his family somehow and ended up meddling with the wrong people. I rub my fingers over my eyelids, trying to ease the pumping pain inside my head, eyebrows clenched.

God has a strange sense of humor it seemed, repeating the past just with different people.

I finally sat up on the bed, slowly because I still felt like my head weighed more than a boulder, trying to untangle the mess that was my hair with my fingers. I am starting to consider cutting my hair again, the amount of tangles and knots it gets every time is starting to get annoying. “Well, no time for it right now.” I tell myself, using the mirror on the corner to check my appearance, sighing deeply while I braid my now untangled hair.

I could’ve looked worse in my mussed up clothes, the old shirt I always used for sleeping starting to have some wear and tear after so many years of use. With my brown hair finally braid up, I toss the braid over my shoulder to fix the bangs around my face, making sure to keep them separate enough so they wouldn’t fall over my eyes when I last needed them to. Dressing up was faster than I thought, remember I still had a mean headache and had to sit down so I wouldn’t fall face first on the floor, slipping on my boots, the map I got from the O’Driscoll sitting on the nightstand near the bed.

My eyes narrow at the yellowed paper, grabbing it swiftly to place it back inside my boot before I leave the room. Maddie and Scotty are walking out of the saloon, the blonde girl holding a small plate with food, “Barbara! We got you some food-”

“I’m not hungry.” god is it past noon? I’ve slept for too long. “I’m gonna get Persephone ready, we ride in a few.”

Scotty arched one eyebrow, “Ya should eat somethin’, ya only had cheap brandy and stale bread for dinner last night!”

“I’m fine!” I called back, waving my hand at them, “I’ll be near the entrance!”

I know they just wanted the best for me, but I just don’t feel hungry at all, my head still pounds like it's the blacksmith’s anvil, making me suck air through my teeth when it throbs. I hop on Persephone, gently patting her neck in greeting, “Hey girl,” my horse tilts her head to keep one eye on me as if she’s checking if I am truly alright, making a laugh slip my lips, “I’m fine,Perse, I promise.” her ears flick once, one of her hooves hitting the ground in a single stomp as if to say ‘I don’t believe you!’. Ever since I got Persephone, a payment for a job back in Saint Denis last year, we have a strong bond that it was hard to break. I trusted her with my life, she was the first friend I’ve made after I started working with Jessica, before I met Scotty and Madeline.

I trot my way to Valentine’s entrance, taking slow breaths in hopes the throbbing pain on my head eases. I don’t need that distracting me. From the distance I see Madeline and Scotty approaching where I was, the latter with a distinct frown on her face, “Ya really have to eat somethin’,” I just smile in response, tugging Persephone’s reins to turn her towards the road, “If ya faint in the middle of a shootout I’ll leave ya there.”

“You won’t do that, you care too much about me.”

Red bloomed on her freckled cheeks, not because of the compliment but annoyance for sure, “Ya bet I will leave ya there, and I’ll take Maddie with me!” without even seeing I can feel Maddie’s voice parting in concern, but she gets interrupted by Scotty,who is now besides me “When we get back to Valentine ya are goin’ to eat so much ya won’t be able to move.”

“Yes, yes, of course mother,” I duck her swat hand with a laugh, Scotty’s hand is still on the air as my laughter subsides to a giggle, my shoulder flinching up as if I’m expecting another swat, but none came. Maddie soon gets to us and I pull out the map, flicking it open in my hand, “Alright so.” my teeth gnaw on the corner of my lower lip in thought, “I think this isn’t hard to find.”

“It’s a gang hideout, it won’t be easy,” Scotty’s voice replied, pulling out a cigarette from her back pocket, placing it between her lips, “It won’t be in plain sight.”

“Are those trees?” Maggie’s gloved hand points to the spiky lines, at least four of them, “It is in the middle of a forest but near a road. We’ve dealt with gang hideouts before, we could use what we’ve learned to know where this one is.”

Normally gang hideouts would stay near a road that wasn’t very used. Usually they’d make their own by stomping over the grass with their horses until it was flat enough to form a path. Of course, that didn’t always mean a hideout would be there but it’d be a place to start. Six Point Cabin here we go.

* * *

It took us a while to finally find the right location of the Six Point Cabin. It was indeed up a hill and there was indeed a flattened grass path that led upwards. We could hear talking and laughing coming from above so we hopped out of the horses, tying the reins on some branches so they don’t run off and stay hidden from prying eyes. With our guns in hand, we make our way up as silent as we could, using the trees as hiding spots from the gang members, who were all entertained by drinking and fondling prostitutes, “Well,” I begin with a quiet laugh, “At least the girl didn’t lie, they seem like O’Driscolls.”

Scotty peeked from the tree side, clutching her hunting rifle close to her chest, “They do.” she squints her eyes towards the group, “I have a bad feelin’ Barbara, somethin’ is goin’ to happen.”

“Well, yes we are going to kill them.” my joke falls flat because Scotty’s eyebrows stay furrowed, so I offer her a sigh, “Listen, we are just going to get the money and get out, we’ve done this before. We just have to aim, shoot and loot, then move ahead.” our heads snap towards the direction of a loud voice, thinking we’ve been spotted but there was just a drunk member singing loudly to the group. “Let’s move more to the side, get fewer of them.”

We carefully scurried more to the left, towards an open field with yet another hill, this one overlooking the camp. Maddie took place on the tree left of mine, while Scotty stayed behind a tall bush, the barrel of her rifle peeking through the leaves but yet remaining invisible on the outside world. I hid behind another tree, wider than the one Madeline hid herself, turning my head enough to catch a glimpse of our surroundings, “I see them,” I whisper to Maddie, who nods in agreement. Three of them, chatting without a worry, stumbling over their own feet.

“Should we get closer?” Scotty’s voice comes from behind the bush, my lip slides into my mouth as I think about it. There weren’t many hiding spots ahead, we’d definitely be seen by them if we moved past this location.

“No,” I see one of the men dislocating himself from the group to relieve himself on a tree not too far from mine. I get a horrible side view, “Scotty, see that guy peeing?” she gives a grunt of affirmation, “Use one of your knives on him, when that happens me and Maddie move forward.I’ll tell you when to do it, alright?” another grunt. My knees are starting to hurt for being in this position for so long, but I adjust myself to have a better look on the man’s side view. His head is thrown back as he relieves himself, he’s humming a little tune too, completely unaware of what was about to happen..

I look back at the bush where Scotty is hidden for a brief second, my hand going up slowly about to sign her for the kill. But before I do that, the man falls to the ground with a quiet thump, completely motionless. What the hell?!”Scotty?” I hiss under my breath, “Scotty,I told you to wait until I said something.”

“It wasn’t me.”

I freeze, widening my eyes at her comment, “...what?”

She finally appears from under the leaves, a frown deep set on her face, “I didn’t kill him.” her lips curl downwards at the end of her sentence. The silence that surrounds us ends up turning our hypervigilance to the highest point. We don’t move and we hear the soft crunching of grass ahead of us, footsteps definitively, heavier than before. What if it was the lawmen? What if they discovered this location too? Fuck I didn’t think about that option. “I see someone-no,I see two men,” Maddie whispers, carefully looking by the edge of the tree, hand clenching her revolver tight, “Big and...wait, isn’t that the giant man that bumped into you in the saloon?”

My eyebrows furrowed in confusion, then I looked in the same direction and my heart immediately went to my stomach. It was the same man and not only him...but the cowboy from before. The same fucking cowboy, “You have to be kidding me.” I snarl under my breath, my nails digging on my rifle’s wooden grip as I keep on watching, the two of them approaching the other two O’Driscolls while crouched. Great, this is great.

“So, what do we do now?” Scotty asks with a frown, “Are we leavin’?”

“Well I didn’t expect to see  **someone else** here,” I can't help but snap at the end of my sentence, looking over my shoulder towards the two once more, “Nevertheless him.”

“You know him?” Maddie asks with a tilt of her head and I just do a so-so movement with my hand, “...I...what do we do?” Normally when we attacked gang hideouts we rarely had competition, it was a quick clean job with few or no witnesses. God this really put a stop to the plans, god damn it. 

As I open my mouth to reply we hear gunshots. We immediately recoil, Scotty rushing to another tree to protect herself while me and Maddie remained still, the whizzing of bullets sounding louder. A raspy voice coming from the hill screamed something I couldn’t understand, which made me frown deeper, there were more men here. “Fuck.” I thump the back of my head against the trunk, closing my eyes while listening to the madness happening not too far from us. 

“Barbara, I think we should leave while we can,” Scotty’s voice was a bit louder since she was far from us, which made me cringe thinking the man on the hill could’ve heard her, “There’s too much at risk!” we hear a branch snap from the corner, which is a miracle considering we hear nothing but shooting for a while. Our breathing is caught in our throats when three other O’Driscolls come through the trees, weapons up ready to shoot. Their eyes widen seeing us, no doubt expecting anything but seeing three well armed women hiding not too far from their cabin while men shoot on the other side.

Before any of them could do anything we aim our guns and open fire. I managed to hit one in the middle of his eyes, his head exploding into little pieces while Scotty got the other one in the jaw, the sickening crack of bones mixed with the squelching of muscles and nerves being destroyed wasn’t pleasing. Maddie shot the last one in the stomach, making him clench the area but he didn’t fall...instead he ran towards where the shoot out was happening, “THERE’S MORE OF ‘EM HERE!!” 

**_“SHIT!”_ ** we immediately got to our feet, now that our cover was busted there was no way we could simply run off without being shot. I aim my rifle on the guy’s head and in a second he’s nothing but red dust, his body falling limp on the ground. Out of the corner of my eye I see a figure stand straighter on the hill, I dare to look up and see a silhouette of a man and a shouted  _ ‘hey!’ _ thrown our way. “Move,” I mutter to the two, “Move,move, _ move _ !” and we run as fast as we can from there.

To get back to our horses we’ll have to walk literally to the middle of camp, where it's raining bullets. We try to take cover in every surface possible, shooting O’Driscolls along the way to give us passage out of that hellhole, “Where did all of them O’Driscolls come from??” Scotty asked loudly, this time we couldn’t hide our presence here, ducking her head behind a crate when a bullet grazed over its surface, “There wasn’t this many when we got here!!”

“I think,” I let out a yelp when a bullet whistled by my ear, making me reel back from where I was hiding behind a large boulder, “I think they were nearby and got here because of the shooting!” 

It was hell. There were bullets and O’Driscolls everywhere, no doubt the lawmen would sniff this and come running. We had to be fast. “What do we do?” Madeline shouted from where she was situated behind an old cabin, a little scream leaving her lips when a bullet almost hit her foot.

“Keep shooting!!” 

The adrenaline inside of me screamed, my chest heaving as I aimed my rifle towards the conflict. One O’Driscoll aimed his gun at me, but before he could do that he fell to the ground with a groan, I didn’t even know who shot him but I was thankful. My eyes kept moving from the members to the area where our horses were down the hill, thankful we put them far away from this goddamn mess. 

_ “They are runnin’ away!” _ I heard a male voice shout, _ “Yeah, get runnin’ you bastards!” _

I couldn’t help but let out a heavy sigh as I slump against the boulder, my rifle resting on my thighs. I yank my hat off to whip the sweat from my forehead, then snap my eyes back to attention.We had to leave. “C’mon.” I whisper to them, nodding towards the direction our horses were, almost tip toeing our way out of the area. Its unusually silent,voices are distant from where we were, which meant the men weren’t going to bother us. I gently push Maddie’s back, forcing her to walk a bit faster, ‘Go, go!” I say in a whisper, looking over my shoulder to check if anyone was following us.

We heard another gunshot but didn’t stop, it was still distant from where we were so I was hopeful we’d be able to leave without being noticed...well, more than we already were that is. I could hear the horses whinnying in the distance, I was sure we’d make it to them without a problem.

“Stop right there!”

I really hate when I’m wrong.

We stop immediately, our arms freezing in the air and my eyes clench, shit. Madeline looks over her shoulder towards me, then her eyes move to the one person who prevented us from leaving. 

“Marston!” oh no, I know that voice, “The hell is goin’ on?!”

“I have no idea! I was with Kieran on the hill when I heard shootin’, then an O’Driscoll screamin’ somethin’, then I look down and see three…” he pauses and the three of us look his way “...women, with guns before the same O’Driscoll had his head blown to pieces! I heard them shuffling back here when you was in the cabin!”

I almost rolled my eyes at his hesitation, thoughI shouldn’t be surprised.

“What the-wait a goddamn minute,” steps approach us faster and I tense up, letting out a groan of surprise when a hand forcefully grabs my bicep to turn me around,making me drop my rifle in the process “ **_You_ ** .” ah, he remembers me and he doesn’t look too happy. He keeps his hold on me, not enough to hurt but enough to show he doesn’t plan on letting go of me so soon. 

At that both Maddie and Scotty aim their guns at his face, which creates a domino reaction with the other men, the clicks of guns being cocked echo around the area.

I see his eyes flick to the two women, my dear friends, for a brief second before returning the gaze to me, “What are ya doin’ here? How did you even find this place?” I clench my jaw, narrowing my eyes at him, the lack of response clearly making his temper flare even more “Answer me,woman!”

“She doesn’t have to answer to ya!” Scotty snarls, aiming her rifle to his face which prompts the skinny guy behind her to aim his gun towards her back. Scotty’s eyes don’t move from the cowboy’s face however and she clenches her rifle tighter.

“She’s an O’Driscoll! They all are!” the heavy bearded man shouts, his rifle moving back and forth between Madeline and Scotty.

Madeline frowns, holding her revolver high, “Absolutely not!” she scoffs, “We wouldn’t have killed our own if we were from the same gang!”

The bearded man lets out a groan, rifle still up ready to shoot. My eyes are fixed on the cowboy, I can’t look away, I won't let him have the upper hand here, “Let me go,” I snarl, “Now.”

“I don’t plan to doin’ nothin’ until I get an answer,” his voice is low, just like yesterday, “Are ya followin’ me? Us?” my eyebrows curve in confusion at his questioning, “How did ya get here?”

“A map.” my reply is curt and dry, “That I got out from an O’Driscoll I killed back in Valentine.” I can’t help the next part from slipping past my lips, “Stabbed him right in the chest. “ I jut my chin out without noticing, then nodded towards my waist, “It’s in my satchel.”

He turns his sea storm colored eyes away from me briefly, to locate the satchel resting right above my hip bone. When our eyes meet again, he’s forcefully yanking it open while he rummages inside. I sense Maddie and Scotty are tense, but they won’t do anything unless I truly appear defenseless, which I’m not, but right now I’d like to prevent the bloodshed. A piece of yellowed paper comes into view and he opens it one handed, his chest heaving while his eyes move rapidly checking the cruddy drawing. 

Our gazes meet once, then twice, then he lets out a heavy sigh through his nose, putting the map into his own satchel now, he’s trying to figure out what he’ll do to me. He knows my other hand is free and I could easily reach out for my revolver if I wanted to, but I don’t, for now at least.

“Arthur.” the skinny man calls to the cowboy, Arthur huh? Interesting name. “Who is she?”

“Remember the woman who paid Downes’ debt?” his jaw tics uncomfortably, “This is her.”

The skinny man, Marston, lets out a curse under his breath, while the bearded man speaks up again “This is too coincidental, Morgan, there’s no way they killed someone for this location.” all of our gazes then move to him in annoyance, my head even tilted over the cowboy’s shoulder to have a better look at him, “They’s not strong enough to,”

“We killed half of the camp.” Madeline says through gritted teeth, “We don’t use guns as accessories,  **_sir_ ** .” It was rare for Maddie to lose her patience, but something like that definitely makes my sweet friend get extremely irritated. “We are very capable of killing people.” and that last one was a threat, a rare feat from Madeline Kowalski but one that makes smiles form over Scotty’s face and mine.

The cowboy eases his grip a minuscule bit, fingers still holding my arm loosely, “All of ya, are comin’ with us.” my eyes immediately narrow, “So ya either do it peacefully, goin’ with us or if ya leave we’ll hunt ya down and bring ya back by force.”

I know for a fact he’s serious, he is furious at me, no doubt because of what happened yesterday. I look at both Maddie and Scotty, then close my eyes with a nod and they remorsefully lower their guns, “We’ll go.” I hear Scotty say ‘we will?’ “But only if we can use our own horses,” Persephone never lets anyone besides me ride her, even touch her. I know if they approached her she’d crack their jaw with one swift kick. While that thought was incredibly amusing, it also meant they could shoot my horse in retaliation. 

The cowboy has his hands on his hips, a small smirk forms over his lips when my friends holster their guns, “Sure,” my eyes widen when I see him pulling out rope from his back, “But I hope ya don’t mind we guide your way there?” I hear shouting and cursing coming from my sides, and as I am harshly turned around I see the two men tying Maddie and Scotty’s wrists, the skinny man letting out a grunt when Scotty kicks his thigh in the process. 

I wince when thick rope is wrapped tight around my wrists, once,then twice. The storm eyed cowboy grabs the rope and tugs me backwards until his lips are near my ear, “There, all better.” then he pushes me forward making me almost stumble over my feet “Go on ahead, get to ya horse.” I wanted to slap the amused smirk off his face, but I chose to stay close to my friends who looked as angry as I felt. Persephone’s head raised when she saw me approaching, but then her ears immediately flattened at the sight of the strange men behind us, with Melvin and Caramel following suit.

“If you get near my horse, she’ll bite your skin off your face,” I warn the cowboy who has his revolver at my back while his other hand holds my rifle.

“We’ll see. Kieran!” one of the men I wasn’t paying attention to, a much smaller and scared looking man, jumped at his name being called, “Go get ‘em horses, we wait here.” the three of us could only watch the man rush his way to our mounts, trying to calm them down the best he could. Caramel and Melvin, while uneasy next to this man seemed to ignore his presence to rush over their respective owners. Persephone however, stood tall, avoiding his hand every time he tried to approach her, all the while stomping her hooves on the ground in warning.

“T-This one ain’t cooperatin’!” ‘Kieran’ shouted from where he was and I had to dip my head to cover my smirk of satisfaction, especially at the constant snorting that came from my girl. I look up to see Persephone trying to bite him, pushing her head into his chest with enough force to make him tumble backwards. The cowboy, Arthur, let out a sigh, ordering the others to wait there while he holstered his gun, once again gripping my bicep tightly as he took us both towards where Persephone was.

Persephone’s sights were now on me...and him. I know she was disturbed by seeing me being held by someone she didn’t know, her hoof stomping the ground harder, snorting with her head high, “Easy girl,” I breathed, “Easy,I’m right here,” my horse seemed unsure of her next reaction: while my voice seemed calm, her eyes would often focus on...Arthur, and how he was dangerously close to me.

“If you leave me here you can try and free her reins,” I tell Kieran who is still on the ground “I’ll keep her distracted.” I lean my body forward, as much as the cowboy would allow me to, while shushing Persephone under my breath, “Ssshh,shhh, it’s okay. It’s okay baby. I’m here,”

My forehead pressed against her muzzle seems to relax her enough, her quiet chuffing calming me as well, making me close my eyes. I hear the tinkling of metal moving, which meant she was finally free from the tree branch. I straighten myself, looking over my shoulder to the man holding me only to find him staring right back with a strange look over his eyes. It was...almost soft, almost if he appreciated seeing that? “I can’t ride her without-” my breath gets caught in my throat when his hands cup my waist, lifting me with ease to place me on the saddle.

“There,” he says firmly, slipping my rifle over his back, “Now let’s go.” while he grabs Persephone’s reins, very slowly while keeping eye contact with her aways, I try to sit myself up normally instead of side-saddle, having to bend and stretch my legs while balance myself so I wouldn’t fall, letting out a breath of relief when I finally sit almost comfortably...if it wasn't for my hands being tied behind me. Persephone is being led by someone, that isn’t me, and she despises it  _ greatly.  _

She keeps trying to yank the reins out of his hands but at the same time is careful so she doesn’t drop me, so she’s just distancing herself from him as much as she could, snorting from time to time. He looks at my horse then at me with a frown, “Ya horse is just like ya,isn’t she? Can’t handle being told what to do.”

“She only trusts me,” I puff up my chest in pride, “Consider yourself lucky she’s not biting your fingers off, it happened once.” my smirk widens when I hear Maddie’s quiet giggle from afar, clearly remembering the occurrence. The men whistle for their horses who show up from behind the trees in a hurry, the beautiful gray Ardennes that belonged to him approached with a gentle trot. Both horses looked at one another, ears flattening but not really doing anything besides the constant stare down. 

Arthur sat on his horse after clipping Persephone’s reins to it,the other men did the same with their horses and the girls’. They’d lead us to wherever it was they were staying. Great. I have to clench my thighs on Persephone’s ribs when we start to trot away so I don’t fall backwards. God I was tired, the headache from before returning with full force this time. 

Thankfully the sun was already setting , I don’t think I’d be able to handle more humiliation. 

“I told ya somethin’ bad was goin’ to happen.” Scotty’s tone was angry and I didn’t blame her, especially considering what occurred, “Ya should listen to me more.”

“Yes, mother. I’m sorry mother.” I sigh loudly, internally thankful she’s not near me and with her hands tied behind her back because I knew she’d slap my nape for that. We got quiet after that, just letting them take us to wherever they were. Hopefully we’d survive this ordeal.

  
  


Hopefully.


	5. Oft in the Stilly Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> friends in low places

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am just...really happy writing this fic, lol I know I've said it before but its been a LONG time since I actually wrote so many chapters in so little time and had a lot of ideas like this. I have to admit I am having more fun than I thought.
> 
> For those who don't play RDO: Sean and Sadie show up as side missions :) and they are my favorite ones.
> 
> Oft in the Stilly Night by Thomas Moore and Scotch Air

We arrived at a heavily wooded area by night time, the mix of oranges and blues and lilacs looking like a watercolor painting, a beautiful scenery were not for our situation. My wrists hurt for being in the same position for too long, not to mention I could feel the skin tearing thanks to the thick rope.

“Who’s there?!”

“Arthur! You dumbass!!” I see a figure approaching us the closer we get to camp, gun being supported on a shoulder. It’s the guy I saw in the saloon, the shorter one with the bowler hat...was he Mexican? I couldn’t really tell with the lack of light to check.

His eyes ran over me from top to bottom, lips pursing up “And who are these?” We finally came to a stop at a camp, it’s not really spacious considering the area it was located looked relatively small. I can see at least seven people around camp, all of them stopping what they were doing to look at us. 

“Someone Dutch would like to meet.” Wait...Dutch? Arthur dismounts his horse to approach mine, Persephone clacking her teeth dangerously next to him but he avoids having his ear yanked by stepping to the side. He placed his hands on his hips, looking at me expectantly.

I arched my eyebrows “What?”

“Come on down.” 

“Why? I am so comfortable here with my arms hurting and my thighs cramping up. Why would I give up that?” The sarcasm is dripping out of every word I say, the cowboy lowers his head briefly, shaking it and I could almost see a smile on his face, was he amused? I hear Scotty and Madeline sliding out of their saddlers with a bit of difficulty, Scotty saying some curse word to the Marston guy.

With a heavy sigh I slowly move my leg over the saddle so I’m sitting with my legs forward, towards his form. He gives one step back so I can land safely, I end up grunting in pain when my boots hit the ground. 

“Arthur,” a much deeper voice calls “What is this? Who are these ladies?”

Arthur turns me around to push me ahead, his hands clenching my shoulders as he guides me forward into the camp. “They was in the Six Point Cabin, Dutch. Hidin’ in there.” My eyes look up to see him, Dutch Van der Linde. 

He looks a lot more imposing than his poster shows him to be...his nose isn’t that crooked either. The man in question closes the book in his hand with one single ‘snap’ before setting it aside, placing his hands on his hips as he nears the three of us “Now is that right?” I see his eyes flick towards each one of us, nodding towards the men.

We are forced down in our knees before we could do anything about it, complaints leaving our mouths that have little to no effect on them. Dutch looks down at us now, tilting his head to the left “Now,” he adjusts his pants before going down on a crouch “Why would three young ladies be messing around an O’Driscoll camp?” 

He’s waiting for a response from any of us, but we don’t answer. His jaw clenches briefly with his lips pursing “Ladies, I am sure we can resolve this matter peacefully,” my eyes move back to an older woman in the distance, a shotgun in her hand “Just answer my question and we’ll let you go.” I had a strange feeling that wouldn’t be the case. 

I can’t help the quiet laugh that passes my lips, the way he looks at me is almost as if I called his mother a bad name “We already told your goons how we got there.” I meet his eyes with a smirk “Ask your big cowboy there,” I nod towards Arthur who had moved to stand besides Dutch “We got a map from an O’Driscoll.” 

Dutch looks back at Arthur, who in response pulls out the map he got from me earlier. Dutch flips it open, seeing the drawing with his other hand rubbing his chin in thought. Another man appears by Dutch’s side, older, skinnier too. Hosea Matthews. Their poster really is nothing like their real selves. 

“What’s happenin’ Dutch?” Hosea asks while repeating the pose of hands on hips, looking back at out kneeled down forms. 

“Looks like these three ladies were in Six Point Cabin when Arthur went lookin’ for Colm.” Hosea’s eyebrows raise to almost touch his hairline, “Apparently it was all a  _ coincidence _ .” The way Dutch dragged out the word showed he didn’t trust what we were saying.

“But we did get the map.” Madeline’s quiet voice breaks the silence, her eyebrows furrowed together. “From an O’Driscoll. He was hiding with others behind the doctor office in Valentine.”

I see Arthur’s eyes flash with something akin to a memory the moment Madeline mentions the doctor office. Did he know about the small hideout? Hosea’s eyes seemed to be taking us in, I heard the whinnying coming from the horses and turned my head over my shoulder. The tall bearded man is near Persephone, trying to check what’s inside the satchels, without much success while the bowler hat guy was busy seeing what Melvin was carrying, “Hey,” Scotty’s body turns partially towards his direction, “Get ya hands off my horse! Hey!” 

The man looked at her momentarily, smirked and then continued his searching. Scotty huffed loudly, turning her body back but not before glaring at me. I know I won’t hear the end of this in a while. 

“You girls killed O’Driscolls on your own?” Hosea asked in amazement, “And got a map and then went to an O’Driscoll camp without fearing for your life?”

I offer him a nonchalant shrug, “We killed some of them before,” Dutch stops looking at the map to focus his gaze back on me, Arthur has his arms crossed and Hosea arches one eyebrow, “It’s not our first time dealing with stuff like that.”

“Really? And what exactly is that you do miss?” Dutch’s voice is careful, he still doesn’t trust anything I’ll say but he wants to know what I can say, “Are you a bounty hunter?” 

“I’m whatever gives me money,” I shrug, in reality I’m not sure what I was. At first I worked for Jessica and got paid well to hunt her husband’s killers down, doing some odd jobs in the way, eventually managed to be part of a moonshine operation, an associate to Cripps’ trading company and hell, so much more. “Listen, I’m not a money minded individual but money does help a girl survive when you have no one else but yourself.So yes, we wanted to steal that cabin and get whatever valuables there were.”

Dutch’s eyes fixate on me, hell his eyes were dark pools of nether, analyzing my face. I must’ve looked bored because he let out a short laugh through his nose, “You don’t look like you need money, miss,” his gaze then turned to Madeline, who in her cream colored two parts suit was a sore thumb compared to myself and Scotty. He stood to his feet, tapping the map on his hand, “Why are you hanging around those areas, huh?”

Madeline frowns, her eyes moving towards me then back at him, “I...I wanted to help my friends, that’s all.” I could see her throat moving as she swallowed, “I’m not a weak flower as I appear to be, sir.” I know he aimed his questioning at Madeline because of her innocent façade, hell that girl was smarter than any one of them here and she wouldn’t crack that easy, “You can always check the woods near Valentine, behind the church, where we put the bodies for the animals to eat.”

Hosea’s mouth parts in an amused laugh, clearly not expecting to hear something like that coming from a sweet looking girl like Madeline, eventually even Dutch chuckles, “It appears so, miss.” when his eyes turn to Scotty, she’s already glaring at him, “And you? You seem to be a strong woman-”

“I ain’t answerin’ to ya.” 

He obviously disliked being interrupted but took in a breath to calm himself, “Now, there’s no need to be abrasive like that, miss.”

“I don’t care.” she turns her head to the side, “Ya wanna shoot me then shoot me, better yet, shoot Barbara on the knee and tell her to run because she put us in this mess.” my jaw hangs open, okay that was uncalled for. I know she’s angry but this is unnecessary.

“Scotty!”

“Ya know I am sayin’ the truth!” she snarls, leaning her body closer to mine, almost falling over Madeline’s lap, “I told ya to leave but ya wanted to stay! Why can’t ya listen for once?” Madeline leans back, almost losing her balance in the process.

My eyes narrow immediately, “How would I know someone else would be there? We always did stuff like that and most of the time it ended fine!”

“That’s because ya are overconfident!” Madeline whimpers when Scotty’s face nears mine, “If ya listened to me we’d be back in Valentine and ya’d be eatin’ somethin’ because for sure the lack of food is the reason ya actin’ so fuckin’ stupid!!” by now half of the camp stops what they are doing to watch us scream at each other. It must be hilarious and yet confusing to see their captives arguing with one another.

“Stupid?  **_Stupid_ ** ? Who are you calling stupid?”

“I’m callin’ ya stupid! Ya moose head!” 

“ _ Ladies _ !” Dutch’s voice booms out, his hands up as if to say we should stop, “Ladies, please, there’s no need for arguin’ as amusing as it is.” Scotty’s glare flits from me to him as she goes back into her position, Maddie lets out a breath of relief when we finally stop the bickering. He continued to look at our kneeled forms, tapping the folded map in his hand, “We still have to figure out what to do with you.”

The silence is deafening, I can hear my own heart beating. Was he going to kill us? Torture us? I know what they did in Blackwater, I still remember certain areas being in lockdown because they couldn’t scrub the blood off the walls. Loud voices from the camp’s entrance break my line of thought, female voices alongside a male one.

“Ah, Mr.MacGuire! Good to have you back!” Dutch’s humor completely shifts at this MacGuire- wait, MacGuire? I turn my head towards the voices and my eyes immediately widen, I can’t believe this.

“Dutch!” It’s Sean, it’s fucking Sean! I know him, I’ve HELPED him before meeting Scotty and Maddie, hell I was almost arrested many times because I needed the cash. He was loud, annoying but I considered him to be smart. Most of his jobs gave me money after all. My mouth is still hanging open as I watch him swagger closer, does he even remember me? “It was an easy job! Got in, got out and got-” 

Our eyes meet and I freeze immediately. He remembers me. He knows who I am.

“Barbara?” his eyes squint for a brief second before a wide smile parts over his lips, “Barbara! Long time no see!” Now it was Dutch’s turn to look confused, that and everyone else including my friends who looked at me in surprise, “Now what are ye doin’ on the ground?”

“...praying,Sean.” I grind out sarcastically, “I’m praying.” 

Sean looks at me then at Dutch, then at me again before letting out a noise, slapping his forehead with a hand, “Oh!Right! Remember when I was away for a bit last year? And a woman gunslinger helped me?” he points right at me, “This is her! This is Barbara!”

I could feel Madeline and Scotty’s stares on the back of my head, I turned to give them a sheepish shrug and an awkward smile, “Long story.” 

“Wait, ya know her?” Arthur stepped forward, looking down at me while Sean nodded, gleefully telling them everything we did together. My eyes move around awkwardly noticing the whole camp is focusing their gaze on me, but my eyes stop at one of the girls. It was the same girl I’ve helped with the Foreman guy...and miss Adler. Sadie Adler. In here? She meets my eyes briefly, she looks more like a shell of herself than when I met her and I have a horrible feeling in my stomach. Her mouth opens to say something then shuts right after, fists clenching above her long skirt.

A blonde woman appeared on Sean’s side, glaring at me enough to make me arch one eyebrow. I believe that’s Karen, Sean never shut up about her back then. “She your friend then?” oh the jealousy on her tone was palpable, but Sean didn’t seem to notice which bothered her greatly.

“Yes! Yes she’s amazin’, a great shot too! Hey,” he points at me, “Remember when we was robbin’ that stagecoach near Tanner’s Reach? And you shot the guy in the eye?” I can see Dutch analyzing the situation by what Sean was saying, Arthur had this confused look on his face while Hosea was smiling, “That was so great! Hey, why are ya tied up?” he made a movement to pull out his knife and free me, my eyes widening for a brief moment that quickly got snuffed out when Dutch placed a hand on Sean’s chest.

“Son,” he begins, cautiously moving his gaze to me, “You know this woman?”

“Yes! I do,” the Irishman pauses, looking at the other two besides me, “I don’t know them two, but if they with Barbara they are good people.” god bless Sean. He was an annoying little Irishman but he was always honest with his words..well most of the time. Upon this revelation Dutch seemed to reconsider whatever he was thinking, he probably wasn’t expecting the one Sean talked about so well would be me nor that I’d helped him often.

“Free them,” he said after a while, “But you aren’t leaving. Not yet.”

It was better than being tied up. Sean smiled down at me, about to cut my ropes when Arthur stepped in front of him “No, free the others, I’ll deal with this one.” a complaint made its way out of Sean’s mouth but he went ahead to help the others. I followed Arthur with my eyes as much as I could before I felt myself being lifted from the ground so I could stand on my feet, a cold blade sliding between my skin and the rope, a quick ‘rrip!’ sound meaning my hands were finally free.

“Don’t push your luck,” he snarled on my ear and I was starting to have that. I rub my wrists with a wince, feeling the thin layers of skin coming off as I do so. Arthur is still glaring at me as he walks away towards a wagon, disappearing from my view. 

“So,” Madeline’s voice comes after a few seconds of silence, “You...know them?”

“No, I don’t.” I can’t help the frustrated sigh leaving my mouth, “I know Sean,I’ve helped him from time to time before I met you two.” at the mention of his name he gives me a goofy smile, making me roll my eyes, “Guess he saved our butts there.”

“Now what are ye doin’ down these parts Barbara?” he asks while sheathing his knife, “Thought you was near the Grizzlies?”

I wave my hand at him, “Long story, too long for one night.” god, I was tired, and hungry. But I was still replaying the situation in my mind, my eyes immediately going to Sadie Adler sitting on the corner of the camp, her eyes were once again on me. She seemed like she wanted to approach me or talk to me, but didn’t, instead her gaze moved to the side. I almost jump when I see the blonde one, Karen, way too close for my liking, her arms crossed while she gives me a look that goes from the top of my hat to my boots.

“So ya know Sean then?” 

I sigh loudly, “Yes. I do.” I hold up my hand before she can continue, “No, we didn’t do anything for two reasons: one, I don’t like him that way and he did help me a lot. Two, because he couldn’t stop talking about a certain  _ someone  _ and how much he missed her.” the sourness of her face immediately dissipates into what could be translated as guilt, her cheeks flushing in embarrassment with her eyes looking to the side. Karen clears her throat, walking away to sit near the fire while Hosea looks at me.

“Miss Barbara, yes?” Hosea asks gently, “Could you join us?”

I frown, only me? My eyes move to Scotty and Maddie who look at me confusedly, I only hold my hand at them before disappearing into the large tent. Dutch has his back to me while Hosea is sitting on a stool opposite of a red headed woman, she looks a lot like Scotty, so much they could be related but I’m sure that’s not the case. The woman barely notices my presence, choosing to focus on her pocket mirror’s reflection instead. I awkwardly take my seat on a stool next to Hosea, placing my hands on my thighs, then lacing them together with my thumbs making a rhythm against one another. It wasn’t long until Arthur joined the party, our eyes meeting briefly before he moved his away.

“Molly,” Dutch’s gravelly voice says, the woman in question snapping her head in his direction like a puppy. “Please leave us for a bit.”

Her mouth parts in shock, but closes soon after, clicking her pocket mirror shut and walking out with a scowl. Dutch clears his throat, Arthur closes the tent flaps while the Van der Linde leader finally turns to face me, his expression unreadable, “So, Ms. Barbara.” he begins, settling down in front of me, removing his hat to run his fingers through the black locks, “What a surprising turn of events.”

“Tell me about it.” I can’t help but mumble, looking at my hands.

Dutch hads his elbows on his thighs, fingers interlaced together in front of his face. He sucks in a deep breath, “When we got separated from young Sean last year, we was sure he’d come back, what we didn’t expect was that he’d come back talking about a…” he pauses, tilting his head at me, “A walking she-devil with a rifle and a black mare right out of hell.” 

I unconsciously curl into my seat, “That's...a bit too much. I just helped Sean with some jobs. I...didn’t really have much of a choice.” I can see Arthur’s eyes on me, he chose to stand in front of the tent’s entrance, probably to prevent if I tried to escape.

“He never told us exactly what you did,”Hosea finally quips up, a warm smile on his face. I can’t help but feel at ease when I look at him, even if I know deep inside he’s a sly fox, “Were you runnin’ away from somethin’?”

“Oh, no. I was helping a friend of mine. She helped me when I needed the most.” I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding, “I’m not running from anyone. It’s usually the opposite, people run away from me.” The joke slips my lips without a warning, I’m greeted with silence for a few minutes. I almost want to disappear until I see Dutch’s shoulders shaking, his chest moving with a quiet chuckle that slowly evolves into laughter, actual laughter.

I made Dutch Van der Linde laugh. Maybe I won’t die now.

Hosea chuckles quietly to himself and dare I say even Arthur seemed to have a smidge of a smile on his lips,but he turned his face away so I couldn’t be sure. Dutch raises one of his fingers, shaking towards me, “You Ms.Barbara are a wicked one, aren’t you?” I offer him a small smile, not completely comfortable just yet, “Sharp eyed and sharp tongued then?”

“I suppose.” 

Dutch smiles, straightening himself, “Ms.Barbara, considering what happened here tonight and since young Sean knows you why don’t you and your friends stay with us? I have to admit I’m curious to see your talents.And your friends’ of course. Sean said you once shot a man’s leg off him?” the way his eyes glint when I say that should disturb me, but it doesn't. 

“...well, it was a wooden leg.” my laugh comes out quietly, “It was just to slow him down.”

Dutch smiles more, his gaze meeting Hosea’s in a conversation that happened only with their eyes. He slaps his thighs, standing to his feet “Well then it’s settled. Please, have dinner with us.” I arch one eyebrow at him, which makes him place his hand over his heart, “As an apology for mistreatin’ a friend of our own.”

“I...well,” I hadn’t eaten the whole day, it was starting to bother me the way my stomach was hurting “I guess that’s alright.” when I stood to my feet as well, Dutch clapped his hand on my shoulder, he was not much taller than I was before gently pushing me out of the tent, Arthur had already stepped out. I quickly made my way to the girls the moment I was outside.

Madeline and Scotty were sitting near a tree, a bit far from everyone else, scrambling to their feet the moment they saw me coming, “What happened? Did they hurt ya?” I narrow my eyes at her, remembering what she said earlier and she looks remorsefully to the side “Ah, ya know I wasn’t serious. I was just angry at ya, I’d never want ya to get shot.”

“Right.” my eyes however close as I breathe out, “They want us to have dinner with them, apparently Dutch wants to…’see’ what we can do.” they look at each other before meeting my gaze again, I just wave my hands, “I know, I know,I have no idea what happened either but I’m really starving and tired. Let’s just do this and then deal with whatever they tell us tomorrow, okay?”

Scotty’s mouth twists, Maddie frowns while playing with her gloved hands but they eventually nod, much to my relief. We hear Dutch announcing we’d be staying with them for the night and to make us feel comfortable, kinda hard considering everything that happened earlier that day, but we at least appreciate them trying. We got some of their stew, bland, there wasn’t even a lot of salt there but it was food, food that I ate in a few spoonfuls, avoiding Scotty’s knowing stare from across the fire.

“I told ya were hungry,”

“Shut up.” I mumble while supporting the bowl on my knees. I don’t see her smirk either. Someone sits next to me, but I know exactly who it is by those boots, “Jesus, you didn’t get new shoes?”

“What’s wrong with my boots eh?” he lifts one leg to show me his frail, falling apart shoe, wiggling it back and forth, “Got it from one of them Colson brothers! Shot him right in the face!” I chuckle, pushing his leg away from me and he laughs. I have to admit, seeing Sean again after so long was nice. He was a good man, annoying, loud, but a good man. The short time we spent together was enough for him to consider us friends.

Karen sits right by Sean, still annoyed I believe but not as when I arrived, bumping shoulders with him. Scotty sits near Maddie, who is really quiet and almost trying to cover herself with her long blonde hair, neither of them are truly trusting this sudden peace offering. My eyes keep moving as I chew a hard piece of venison, landing my gaze on Sadie Adler, she was in the same spot as before, just standing up, this time it really looks like she wants to talk to me. 

And I feel like I should do so.

I quickly finish the stew, setting the plate in ….Pearson? Was that his name? Pearson’s wagon, offering him a small smile in thanks before I make my way towards the woman hiding in the shadows, “Mrs.Adler?” I ask quietly, her eyes were a mix of emotions, her chin is quivering.

“...they killed my Jake.” my eyes immediately widen, “Them O’Driscolls. Killed my Jakey.”

“Oh no, no,” I remember Jake, he was a good man and the two of them seemed to have a wonderful marriage, “God...God Mrs.Adler I am so sorry.”

“I heard ya killed some of ‘em.” her eyes now turn to a ferocity I almost shrink from,the same Jessica shared when I met her “I hope they suffered.” her hand clenches my still bruised wrist, I try to hide the wince when she does that, “Make ‘em suffer,ya hear me?” and with that she let go of me, walking away. I was left dumbfounded with the new information, rubbing my wrist to ease the throbbing, that was rough. I just bit my lower lip, slowly walking back in camp to see Madeline looking up at me, her eyebrows furrowed, she didn’t ask me anything but I knew she wanted to help somehow.

I just waved my hand while making my way to Persephone, who was watching me in a little pasture area where some other horses were, although far from her. While we were going to stay in camp...with them,I believe we wouldn’t be too close. I preferred to sleep near my horse, I’ve done it before. Persephone lipped my bangs gently, making a chuckle leave my throat “Hey girl,” my patting seems to ease her, her huge head pressing against mine as she rubs against my cheek. “Alright,” I pat her neck twice, grabbing the bedroll with a quick tug.

“That’s a beautiful horse.” I look over my shoulder to see the tall man, with the long hair, approaching us. “What’s her name?”

“Persephone,” I smile, looking back at my girl who snorts once, “She’s not really the best when it comes to other people,”

He smiles briefly, crossing his arms over his broad chest, “I figured, considering how Bill was complaining she tried to bite his fingers off.”

“He was warned.” he chuckles this time and I couldn’t help but smile, tucking my bedroll under my armpit, “I...well,I don’t know if they’ve told you but,I’m Barbara.” I hold out my hand to him, a hand he looks in surprise, his arms slowly unfolding so he clasps it into a firm hold. God his hand is huge.

“Charles.” our handshake is curt but he nods at me, “Dutch told me to let you know you three can stay by the fire if you want.” 

I blink in surprise, that’s awfully nice of him, “Oh, well, that’s nice of him but...I think I’ll stay with Perse,” I gently look up at her, “She gets uncomfortable in new environments and around new people..and I’d prefer if she didn’t kill any of you in the morning.” he offers me an understanding smile and turns on his heel, offering a small wave of good night. When I hear footsteps approaching once more I think it’s Charles coming to tell me something he forgot, but instead it's Scotty and Maddie, who like me pull out their bedrolls.

“Ya think we leavin’ ya here?”

“We don’t know what will happen tomorrow.” Madde says quietly, holding her bedroll against her chest, her cheeks plumping when she smiles, “So we’ll stay with you.”

If I wasn’t tired to the point of passing out I’d hug them, “Thanks.” We spread our bedrolls and wait until our horses are lying down, Persephone watching me intently as I kick off my boots and sit down. I sigh, my head almost touching her ribs as I lie down. Persephone gently nuzzles my temple making me smile sleepily, eyelids drooping with every sound surrounding me becoming intelligible until I am off into dreamland.


	6. Test Control

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOOO eee this one was a long one but im having so much fun I can't stop.
> 
> So yeah I might add some cool bounties/npc missions here because I really love the side mission a whole l o t

Sleeping on the ground is never comfortable, there are tiny rocks that you can’t see hidden in the grass that end up stabbing your back in the middle of the night or bugs that like to crawl over your face only to bite you hard enough to cause a slap reaction that will sting your skin for the rest of the waking day.

But one good thing is waking up when the sun is rising,you can see the colors mixing in the sky. My eyes flutter open when I hear birds starting to chirp in the trees, a groan going past my lips as I twist my body in a stretch, eventually nosing Persephone’s rib cage in the process.

She gently lips my forehead, some of my hair sticking to her mouth, nudging me awake “Hmmmm…” I took a deep breath into her fur, trying to wake up was harder than I thought it’d be. Persephone was nudging my head harder, she wanted to stand up to have her breakfast and I wasn’t helping her achieve that.

I roll into my back once more before sitting up, smacking my lips while my eyes move around my surroundings once more. Huh, I don’t remember what camp settlement this was. There are tents, wagons, Dutch Van der Linde reading outside his tent—

My eyes snap open as I remember everything. This wasn’t a normal camp settlement, this was the Van der Linde gang camp settlement. I feel Persephone shift behind me, standing to her long legs and stretching herself, shaking her head to wake up fully before making her way to a patch of grass so she could graze it away from the other horses. Meaning it was time for me to wake up as well.

I don’t see Scotty or Madeline near me but I still see Melvin alongside Caramel, the latter scratching himself against a tree trunk. With a grunt I stood to my feet, about to run my hands through my hair only to notice I’ve slept with my braid, hell I must’ve been really tired if I didn’t have time to undo it. My bangs are in complete disarray and I can assure that without even seeing my reflection, so I try to comb through the strands while making my way towards the camp.

The sigh of relief that leaves my mouth when I catch the sight of Madeline and Scotty having coffee and that immediately makes my whole body relax, I was worried...well, something could’ve happened to them. Madeline offers me a small smile, there’s a brown haired woman sitting next to her “Good morning, Barbara,” her accent is thicker, she must’ve woken up just a few minutes before me, “Here, we saved some coffee for you.”

I nod in thanks, picking the tin cup from her hands, I’m still trying to wrap my head in everything that happened in such a short amount of time. Maddie then looks at the woman besides her, “Oh, this is Mary-Beth, we were just talking about books and writers we enjoy.” I arch one eyebrow, taking a slow sip and trying hard to not moan as the warm beverage heats me up from the inside.

“Madeline was tellin’ me about a book she is writin’.” Madeline dips her head shyly, rubbing her thumb on the cup’s rim, “And I can’t wait to see until it's done.” she places a hand on Madeline’s shoulder, “Maybe we will be best seller authors in the future.”

“You write?” She shines like a candle when I ask that, eyes bright looking right at me.

“Oh,yes! It’s a romance, I still haven’t decided how I want it to happen,” Mary-Beth clasps her hands together, “But I was thinkin’ about star crossed lovers, who meet during a strange time, and--”

“Mary-Beth! Enough yappin’! Clothes don’t wash by themselves!” The same older woman from yesterday comes in, holding up her skirts to stand behind Mary-Beth who uses the fact she has her back to this woman to roll her eyes. The brunette girl offers us a shy smile before walking away, muttering a ‘yes,Ms.Grimshaw.’ towards the woman who stays for a while, watching me drink my coffee before marching away.

Madeline looks up at me, trying to ease the tension of what just happened, “How did you sleep?”

I shrug, turning my head left and right to crack a few joints, wincing when one of them was loud enough for me to hear, “Fine.” I sigh, “Persephone kept me company.”

“We saw it,” Scotty finally said, placing a cigarette between her lips, “She was curled on ya like a goddamn cat, are ya sure she ain’t just a breed none heard ‘bout?” My only answer is a quiet scoff, sipping the last bits of coffee before setting the cup on the ground. I stretch my arms over my head, I can feel the joints popping awake as I let out a quiet pleased groan.

By the corner of my eye I see something blue and big walk around, I turn my eyes towards the direction to see Arthur carrying a bale of hay on his shoulders, making his way to the horses. I stiffen when he approaches Persephone, who in turn walks away from him before sending a look over her shoulder, if she was human I’d be sure she’d be arching one eyebrow at him.

I bite back a smile when I see him place his hands on his hips, probably glaring back at my horse who simply swishes her tail towards him, choosing to ignore his presence. I look down at my boots when I see him turning back around, choosing to admire the mud stains over the black leather with a little pleased grin. His footsteps get closer but not enough to us, instead he chooses to talk with Hosea about something I can’t hear about.

Karen greets us good morning, taking some time looking at me before looking away. She either feels bad or is still jealous that Sean and I know each other, but I can’t guess one of the two. I feel a touch on my upper back that makes me turn my head towards the girl I’ve saved from one of Anthony’s men, she’s giving me a small smile, “I’m glad to know your name now, Miss Barbara. I’m Tilly Jackson.” she’s so much shorter than I remember, she has to crane her head up to look at me, “I want to thank you again for that day in Valentine,” she nods her head towards Arthur, “I told Arthur what ya did, maybe now he won’t be so grumpy about you.”

I can’t help the smile from forming, “Well, it was nothing.” my eyes flicker darker for a minute, “I’ve had issues with Anthony before and I knew if he had men coming after you it wasn’t good.” she seemed surprised that I knew Anthony, her forehead furrowed up in worry, “Oh, don’t worry, nothing came out of it.” besides me giving him a shot of warning because he tried to get funny by threatening me, “I know how he can be.”

Tilly’s shoulders relaxed, her lips curling up in a grin, “Still,I’m glad you interfered, Miss Barbara, you didn’t have to.”

“Barbara sure is a savior,” I glare at Scotty’s comment, seeing her pick dirt from under her nails with one of her knives, “And did a lot of stuff me and Maddie knew nothin’ about.”

“You didn’t ask.” I shrug, “If you did I would’ve told you...also, didn’t we meet because you almost died being mauled by a bear? And I saved you?” the hazel eyes meet my green ones and I could see her cheeks flushing up in embarrassment, she hated being remembered of that day. I can still see her clung to that tree branch. Oh it was hilarious.

By then I noticed the camp started to wake up, showing people we haven’t seen before. One of them, a black haired woman named Abigail,if the name Tilly tossed her way in a greeting was of any help, holding a little boy by the hand while she fetched him some breakfast. He looked right at me, with the chubbiest cheeks I’ve ever seen. I had no idea there was a child in this camp, I didn’t see him yesterday. But then again it was possible his mother kept him hidden in case we tried anything funny.

Abigail leaned down to show the boy the bowl of porridge, which he looked at briefly before his gaze returned to me. When she looked up as well I offered them a small smile, one which wasn’t exactly reciprocated, and Abigail took the boy away. I don’t blame them for being distrustful, even if Sean knows me they have no idea who any of us were. “Miss Barbara,” Dutch’s deep voice snaps me out of my thoughts, my head turning to my left, “Glad to see you up and about, I believe you’ve slept well alongside your horse?”

Why does he have to make it sound so strange? “Yes.” I clear my throat, “For safety. Persephone would’ve been restless if I wasn’t close. This is a new area with new people she doesn’t know, not to mention she disliked being led by someone that wasn’t me.” my gaze pointedly moves to Arthur who is now sipping coffee himself, not far from where we stood.

Dutch looks back at my lovely mare who is still keeping herself distanced from the others, “A fine horse that is, where did you get her if you don’t mind me asking?”

I place my hands on my hips, looking at Persephone as well, “She was a payment for a job I did in Saint Denis last year,” as if sensing eyes on her, the Andalusian lifts her head to look back at us, “She was going to be used for breeding, but she was violent to any males that wandered near her, eventually started getting violent to _anyone_ that dared to step too close. She warmed up to me eventually,” after me falling many, many times.

Scotty snorts, trying to cover her laugh with a hand didn’t work at all but I know exactly what she remembered, “Yeah,” she snickers, “Especially after she threw ya down that river when ya tried goin’ bareback thinkin’ the thing botherin’ her was the saddle.”

“Shut up.” I can’t help but touch my lower back, the ghost of that painful day still haunts me from time to time.

“Well,” Dutch smirks, “I have to say your ladies have wonderful looking horses...but I ain’t here to let you know the truth. See,” he looks back at Sean who had just walked out of a tent, looking like a living dead, “Young Sean said a lot about what you can do Miss Barbara and I have to admit I am very curious. Not only what you can do but,” he sweeps his hands in Scotty and Maddie’s direction, “Your friends as well.”

“Ah,” his hand is heavy on my shoulder, not uncomfortable but not exactly at ease, “So...what do you propose?”

Dutch looks over his shoulder at Hosea, who holds a rifle in his hand, “Well, we were hoping you’d show some of your abilities with a gun first?” he looks back at Scotty and Madeline, “If you ladies would be interested as well. There’s an empty field not far from here that could be helpful.”

The two shared a look, Scotty removing the unlit cigarette from her lips to place on the curve of her ear, standing to her feet, “Fine.” she adjusted her jacket, sending him a look, “I’ll get Melvin ready.” Madeline stood up a few minutes later, giving Dutch a small smile while hurrying to follow the redhead. I furrow my eyebrows, feeling Dutch tap my shoulder with a grin before turning away.

Here goes nothing.

* * *

In the end, Dutch couldn’t join us because...of something he had to do. I didn’t ask much.

So there were only us, Arthur,Hosea and Charles on this big empty field near a cliff, much larger than Horseshoe Overlook but filled with wildlife. “Well then,” Hosea hops out of his horse, I notice he walks with a bit of a limp as he approaches me, “Miss Barbara, would you like to start? We lined up some bottles ahead,” he points to the colorful glass on the edge of the cliff, hanging from the tree branches and even on top of some rocks, “So you can demonstrate what you know.”

I send a look over my shoulder to Scotty and Madeline, who both watch me with nervous smiles. I don’t know why we are doing this, but if they are oh so curious, “Well,” I can’t help but look at Arthur, “I’d love my rifle back,” he still has it on him, the leather strap crossing his chest. Hosea chuckles, nodding at the big cowboy who in response removes the rifle from his back only to toss it my way.

I grab it mid-air, arching one eyebrow at him, “Thanks.” he tips his hat at me, I can see a small smile on his face even with his head tilted. Jerk. With a sigh I turn to face the lined bottles, the colorful bottles look beautiful with the sun touching its surfaces. God the last time I shot bottles I was...what? Seven? I line up the rifle with my eyesight, about to shoot when I hear Scotty talking.

“Betcha can’t shoot more than me.”

“Betcha can’t shut the hell up!” I quip back, hearing her laughter from where she was. With my focus back at the task at hand, my eyes locked on a bright blue bottle near the cliff.

_“Listen to your surroundings,Barbara.” a large hand touches my back, the varmint rifle held tight in my tiny hands, “Breathe in.”_

I do.

_“Breathe out and shoot.”_

_“Yes,uncle.”_

I hear the glass breaking. Reload, repeat, do it again. One after another the bottles explode into colorful glass dust, when I’m done with the lined bottles by the cliff I move to the ones tied to the branches.

_“Moving targets are harder, aim for the head. Be swift.”_

Every single bottle was shot on its lip, shattering on the ground as it split open, leaving little nooses swinging on the wind. My eyes and ears capture little to nothing else, I can’t hear anything but my own controlled breathing, not even the glass being blasted into oblivion. The last bottles on top of the rocks soon followed the same demise, nothing more than glass shards where they once stood.

As if standing out of a trance I blinked my eyes twice, looking down at the golden bullet cases by my feet then up at the three men watching me. They were completely silent and I didn’t know if it was a good thing or not.

“Well,” Hosea laughed after a few minutes, “Sean wasn’t lyin’ I see!” I dip my head to cover my eyes with my hat, biting the inside of my cheek, “Where did ya learn to shoot like that, Miss Barbara?”

“My uncle. We used to kill wolves near the mountains--” I stopped myself before I said too much, I wasn’t going to share information that wouldn’t be pertinent for them. I clear my throat, not sure why I would be blushing at their staring, I am very confident in my abilities...maybe because I never had an audience watching me before. It didn’t help that Madeline started clapping eagerly, giving me a warm smile that soon faltered at my side glance.

“Well, what else can you do?” this time it was Charles who asked.

“Uh...I…” I am holding my rifle with both hands as I shrug, “I can use revolvers, sniper rifles, knives...but Scotty is better than me with the knives,” I throw a nod her way.

“Ah,” Hosea turns his focus towards Scotty, who was leaning against a tree with her arms crossed over her bust, cap raised enough to show the wild strands of dark red hair to the daylight, “Miss Scotty? Perhaps you’d like to take over?” oh thank God. I don’t know why I feel such a relief when they choose Scotty instead, I don’t even think as I am stepping to the corner where Madeline was.

“You did really good.” Madeline whispers as she leans her head closer to mine.

“Thanks.” I reply just as quietly, watching Scotty stretch her arms over her head. I can’t help but watch Hosea and the others, how they watch so intently what we are doing. The older man asks Scotty to show him the knife skills, to which she replies with ‘i need a live target’. Without even looking, she pulls her knife out and throws on the direction of a tree by her left, we hear a faint little ‘squeak!’ when the blade embedded itself into the thick trunk.

Madeline and I lean forward to see what happened, “Oh shit,” I say while laughing. She got a squirrel, right in the back, the poor thing spread open against the tree like it had been crucified...which it was, in a way. Again I see Hosea’s smile widen but Charles and Arthur looked even more shocked than before, I can’t wait for Maddie’s turn. They are going to lose their minds.

“That was mighty impressive, Miss Scotty,” Arthur’s drawl dragged on, “Never seen someone usin’ a knife that fast, not even Javier.”

“He needs to be ready for the competition then,” Hosea says as Scotty walks back to where we stood, one hand deep in her pocket and the other holding the squirrel wrapped around a piece of fabric. The older outlaw offered Madeline a kind smile, “Miss Madeline? Do you mind?”

Madeline reciprocated with another smile, walking closer with her hands behind her back and a slight frown when she got closer, “I apologize Mr.Matthews but my specialty consists in breaking difficult locks most of the time, I am not the best with a knife...but I am good with a sword.” Scotty and I instantly smile at their jaws dropping, “Well, of course I can use a revolver if need be, but swords are very--”

“What do ya mean ya can use a sword?” Arthurs bewildered tone made my smile widen

“Oh yes!” Madeline clasped her hands together, “Swords are incredible when fighting and while not as deadly as a bullet might be they can cause a lot of damage. For example, if you stab someone with a sword through the stomach it will not only break through the skin but it will lacerate the internal organs which causes a violent internal bleeding. Eventually whoever dies by a sword dies a very, very painful death!”

I have to cover my mouth to stifle a laugh, looking to the side, using my hat to hide my face. Scotty however just threw her head back, slapping the tree next to her as laughter bubbled out of her throat, “And she says it with a fuckin’ smile too!!” Scotty shakes my shoulder, “A smile!”

Madeline looks our way with the same innocent grin she was giving the three men, her hands folding behind her back, “Now if you gentlemen would allow me to open up a difficult lock or a safe I can assure you that I’ll show my talents!” she tilts her head, “At your convenience of course.”

Now that makes Hosea laugh, his hands clapping, “My goodness, I had no idea we were in the presence of three, very capable ladies.” the laughter me and Scotty shared died down with the latter wiping her eyes while leaning against me, “Ladies, I’ll have to admit. I’m mighty impressed by the three of you’s, but you Miss Madeline,” he pointed an index finger to her face, “Who knew a sweet looking girl like you would know how to open locks and use a sword?”

“Some flowers can be poisonous sir.”

Hosea barked a laugh again, “Yes, yes they truly are.” He looks at us with a hand rubbing his chin, “Well,Dutch will be happy to hear about this. Very happy.” I stepped aside as he walked his way over his horse, with the others following suit. I can’t help but notice Arthur keeping his eyes on me, a subtle tic in his jaw before he takes his gaze away “Arthur, why don’t you take Miss Barbara back to Valentine? I hear you have some work to be done there?”

“What?”

“Yes,she might help you with it.” Hosea turns his horse to look at Arthur, his eyes glinting with mirth, his vision moving to Scotty and Madeline, “Ladies, if you don’t mind following me and Charles back to camp.” the two of them gave me a look, asking with their eyes if that was a good idea. I also wasn’t understanding what was going on, but I gave them a nod, I would be okay.

We watched them trot away from the location before I heard a loud sigh from my right, my hands tugging Persephone’s reins closer to where I was. Arthur looked downright annoyed, removing his hat to run his hand through it and that was when I noticed he went to the barber because the sides of his head were shaved saved for a longer tuft of hair on top. “Can’t believe this…” he rubs his fingers over his eyes, “I can’t believe this.”

“Well, apologies for ruining your day.” I can’t help the annoyed exhale that leaves my mouth, “I can always go back.”

He grunts, adjusting himself on the saddle, “No, if Hosea asked ya to come then ya can. Just...keep it to yerself.” he watches by the corner of his eye as I haul myself into Persephone, putting his hat back on with clear disdain all over his face. He didn’t warn me before galloping away from the clearing, a cloud of dust making its way to my face.

Oh this will be great.

* * *

Me and Arthur are on our way to Cumberland Falls, looking for a woman named Ellie Anne Swan who is wanted for killing not only several husbands but also her own mother. We speak...very little, no doubt he’s still angry I pulled my gun at him back at Downes’ ranch, he rarely looks at me either.

I huff through my nose, my thumb rubbing Persephone’s reins as we slow down to a trot next to each other, “Hey,” I begin, watching his eyes move to me “Can I see the poster?”

“Why? Ya saw it back in Valentine, there’s no need for another look.”

“Can you just give me the poster?” I hold out my hand, palm up and outstretched, “I promise I won’t bother you again.” I hear him grumble something akin to ‘ya’ve been doin’ that for too long now’ before he slaps the paper on my palm. The glare I sent him is minimal but I do look down at the picture. It’s a young woman, perhaps younger than Scotty, around 22? Pretty, no doubt has a lot of fellers going after her like rabid dogs.

And she dresses way too nicely to be hidden in the middle of the woods. I have a feeling she didn’t pack up something more fitting to the rocky ground, fancy thin boots do nothing when it comes to the outdoors. “You know,” I begin while still looking down at the picture, “She’s a fancy lady. Probably doesn’t really come to the woods that often, no doubt she has some sort of special thing of hers she can’t get rid off.”

“And? What does that matter?”

I scoff, “Arthur, tell me,” I return the poster to him, “Have you seen a fancy woman surviving in the wilderness without losing something?” I hold out my hand to count my fingers “A necklace, a ring, hell maybe even a stocking. This woman probably left in a hurry with her new beau and when we hurry while panicked we end up losing a lot of stuff.”

He seemed to get what I was saying, folding the paper back into his satchel, “So ya sayin’ we look for unnatural items? And that will lead it to her?” I nod with a smile, but he shakes his head incredulously ,”Ya got all that from lookin’ at her picture?”

“Maybe I see things you don’t.” my smile turns into a smirk but he turns his head to the side, I can see his cheeks flexing as he tries to hide his own smile from me. Good, this is small progress but it’s progress. We move around for a while, I make sure to stay a step away from him as we go down a path, from a distance we can hear the roaring from the waterfall, loud enough to feel like it was right next to us.

By the corner of my eye I see something glinting in between the thick grass “Hey, look,” I dismount Persephone to pick it up. It’s a brooch, definitely expensive, golden with delicate flowers surrounding a bright blue stone, either sapphire or aquamarine, surrounded by smaller colorful stones. I turn on my heel to hand it to Arthur, who holds it against the sunlight to see the colorful reflections hitting his skin. “It’s not dirty at all, I’d say she lost this not too long ago.”

Our heads immediately snap towards a female voice, not exactly screaming but speaking very loud and not too far from where we were. Just go down a dirt road until you end on a ravine surrounded by rocks. I look up at Arthur who has his face directed where the noise was heard, so I take that as a cue to jump on Persephone and follow him. “It’s gettin’ louder,” he whispers to me, our horses almost touching when he gets closer, I have to shush Persephone when she tries to whinny in complaint, tossing her head back.

We jump down from the horses as quiet as we could, I stay a few steps away from him. In this crouched position my face is literally facing his butt...and it’s not a bad looking butt but that’s not the case right now. It fits real nice in his jeans-

“They sayin’ you is a black widow.”

Arthur stops and then looks back at me, his eyebrows furrowed, mouthing a ‘you hear that?’ and I nod. We take cover behind a large rock while listening to the conversation.

“W-Why I’m nothin’ of the kind.”  
“That means you kill your sweethearts…”

I lift my head enough to see them, with Arthur following suit right next to me. The man with her seems younger, perhaps nineteen? He was holding the same poster we had, a forlorn look on his face. Ellie Ann smiles sweetly at him, trying to move his focus back to her.

“Where do they get such nonsense?” she comes closer to touch his cheek but he flinches, she frowns briefly before smiling again, “You are my sweetheart,” she beckons him with a finger, ‘Now come over here...come here.” but he doesn’t budge, I can see his brain turning in doubt...I can also see her clenching something on her hip, which makes my eyes narrow, “Willy weren’t my sweetheart, he was a bully, okay?And he got what was comin’.”

She was angry this one was starting to back off, she had to bring him back with her own words somehow. I knew how this would happen and I had a feeling that the thing she was holding on her hip wasn’t part of her body, “Arthur.” I whisper, leaning closer to his ear “I think we better do something soon, she’s going to kill him if we don’t act.”

“Hm.” his eyes moved back to the woman, who kept on listing the names, insisting she only had ‘bad luck with menfolk’ and wasn’t a black widow. Of course not. He’s still thinking about it, making my eyebrows furrow, eyes moving back and forth between the two, “I have an idea.”

Finally.

“Why don’t ya show up first?” we crouch back down to talk freely without being seen, “Maybe seein’ a woman instead of a man won’t cause much of a reaction.”

I arch one eyebrow, “Right, because she’s going to look at my guns and not think I’m a bounty hunter?”

“It's either that or we let the feller die, at least we can use ya as a distraction,” my eyes narrow again at his words but he either ignores me or doesn’t catch the way my face is pinched “I’ll be here, when ya are ready snap ya fingers. I’ll tie her down and the feller will walk out ta live another day.”

I have to admit it's a smart plan,risky, but smart. My gaze travels back to the couple to see the woman touching his arm while the other hand is hidden from my sight behind her back. I carefully step from behind the rock, tapping Arthur’s back. I can’t see it but I feel the confused look on his face. I’m glad the boulder gives me a bit of a distance so they don’t see me coming until I clear my throat, “Excuse me,” their eyes immediately dart towards me, the hand on his arm clenching on air, “I hope I am not bothering a young couple in this fine morning, but I’ve lost my horse. You wouldn’t happen to have seen it have you?”

The man goes to answer, but Ellie Ann does it first, immediately clenching her fist, “No, we saw no horse.” I know she’s angry, annoyed even. Especially because her sweetheart has his attention on me, not her, “Now leave us alone-”

“Ellie, she didn’t even say what her horse looks like.” I offer him a smile when he turns to look at me. But that’s a mistake, her arm is already moving behind her back to grab what I assume it’s a knife.

Rushedly I pull out the brooch I got out of Arthur’s satchel when he wasn’t paying attention ,”Oh! And I’ve found this.” I hold it in her direction, making sure she sees the bright blue gem in the middle, “On my way here, would it be yours, ma’am?”

Ellie freezes, her eyes widening at the sight of the jewel, by the corner of my eye I see Arthur standing a bit straighter. I just had to break them apart a bit to give him enough space to act. “Why Ellie,” the guy points his finger towards the brooch, “Ain’t that the brooch I gave ya?” Ellie is pale now, I can see the sweat going down her face.

“Well shoot!” I snap my fingers, glad he is approaching me to give the brooch a better look, “I’m so glad to hear it’s yours.” but when he gets closer, Ellie finally brandishes the knife, letting out an angered scream as she rushes towards him. The poor man is startled when I push him aside so hard he falls face first onto the rocks, the wanted woman now making her way to me, looking completely out of herself. Her arm swings down to strike my shoulder but a lasso immediately yanks her to the side, making the knife she’s holding tight on her hand swing down towards my arm.

I let out a scream, jumping back to cover the wound with my hand, “Shit!” I heard the knife clatter and Ellie Ann telling Arthur to get off of her, kicking the air when he ties her legs swiftly. Raising my hand to check the damage, I’m glad to see it's only superficial even if the amount of blood seeping out seems less than ideal.

“Ellie Ann!” the man shouts, rising to his knees without having a clue what he could do. When he sees me holding my bleeding arm, the man frowns immediately, shakingly rising to his feet, “Ya are a monster, Ellie Ann! A monster!!” he almost slips immediately after he tries to run, but he regains his composure quite quickly, panting his way over a brown colored horse, taking off without looking back, shouting a ‘thank you!’ to us through the wind.

“Well,” I wince, pressing the wound tighter, “At least he thanked us.” a shadow looms over me, my eyes moving up to see Arthur close enough I almost bump into his chest. When did he get there so quick? His mouth is twisted unpleasantly while he looks down at my small wound. “It’s fine.” I say after a while, offering him a small smile, “It’s just a small slice.”

“Lotta blood for a small cut.” he surprises me by moving my hand away, holding my arm up to take a better look at the cut, being careful to not press it too much. I can only watch when he pulls out a roll of gauze from his satchel while cautiously raising my shirt’s sleeve so he can wrap the cloth around the wound. His blue eyes follow up where the sleeve is bunched up, seeing the tip of another scar that starts on the inside of my elbow before disappearing under the fabric.

I chew the inside of my cheek, looking anywhere but him. His hands are so huge, I’ve noticed it before, perhaps the same size as Charles’? The hold he has on my wrist is gentle, the callous on his palm brush against my skin but the fact he doesn’t want to hurt me even more is...nice? And surprising. I didn’t think Arthur would do that, considering he was so upset with me joining him today.

As if he’s noticing my current thinking, he clears his throat “Can’t have ya bleedin’ all the way back to camp,” he murmurs, “Brings all types of animals there.”

Ah, right.

“Sure.” I offer him a grin, looking at my now wrapped up arm, “I still appreciate it.” he nods at me once, turning on his heel to pick Ellie Ann from the ground-- Jesus he’s just carrying her like she weighs nothing! “Do you need help? I can carry her on Persephone if you want!”

“I’m fine.” he whistles for his horse, making me do the same for mine. Both mares trot their way over our location, Persephone quickly approaching my side. He tosses Ellie on the rump without much grace, she is a criminal after all and would kill the man if we hadn’t interfered. He waits for me to climb on Persephone for him to do the same, the two of us riding back towards Valentine.

In about 10 minutes of us riding back, the woman opens her mouth again. “Oh dear...what came over me? D-Did I just do those things?” I am riding alongside Arthur, so tilt my head to look at her, “I-It’s a horrible blur. But...I see blood...there’s blood everywhere. It won’t come out.”

Arthur lets out an annoyed sigh and I see his eyes closing briefly, I already know he’s not buying this.

“I-I’m not like that...I’m a good girl, really, I promise I am.” she tries to lift her head to look at Arthur, “You believe me don’t you? Don’t you,mister?” I am almost certain she chose to ignore me because why would she waste her charms on a woman? She probably did this many many times before.

Her only response was silence, to which I can’t help but admire. If I was the one holding her I’d tell her to shut up. We go down a small hill before finally arriving at the road, then she speaks again “I need help, okay?” her voice is much firmer this time “I have an illness. A fever of the brain. I’ve done bad things but, jail? A jail ain’t where I belong. A sanatorium, maybe.” she once again cranes her head towards Arthur, “I need help, mister. Please. Save me, save me from the sheriff...and moreover, from myself.”  
The dramatic lilt at the end was so well done you’d almost believe it was genuine.

Again no response from Arthur and I see her face sours up in annoyance she wasn’t getting a response she wanted. “Ma’am.” I say after a while, trying to move her attention towards me, “You committed plenty of crimes, you’ll have to be truly genuine if you want to be sent to a sanatorium.”

“I ain’t talkin’ to the likes of you, you whore.” the fury on her eyes was blazing red, no doubt wishing she could burn me alive with her gaze but I showed her no other expression than the blank one I’m carrying. The same gaze that does a complete turn when she looks back at Arthur, “I’m talking to this fine gentleman. You are such a strong man, so tough and burly…” she raked her eyes over Arthur’s back and I bite my lip to hide a laugh, “Maybe if I had a strong man like you, I wouldn’t be in this mess-”

“Ma’am.” for the first time since she started talking Arthur said something, “I’m afraid I ain’t excited to go on ya husband list, I’ll have to pass.” The horses approach the river the moment he says that and the water hits her right on the face when the horses clop their way through it, making her gasp then sputter, groaning like a spoiled child at Arthur’s lack of response.

She keeps cursing him, then me, then everyone else for her demise all the way to Valentine, only quieting down the closer we got to the sheriff’s office.

Arthur gets off first, pulling the black widow from the back of his horse, I jump off Persephone minutes later, telling him I’ll wait outside before watching her menacing glare my way. Arthur disappears through the door, the woman still spitting curses at both of us until her constant complaint becomes faint before finally silencing.

I lean back against Persephone, letting the movement of her breathing move me and forth slightly, with my eyes up to the sky. It wasn’t long until Arthur came back, tossing something my way. I quickly grab it before it lands on the ground, blinking in surprise “This is money.”

He snorts “Sure is.” The Ardennes mare snuffs his shoulder, receiving a gentle pat to the neck “It’s ya part of the bounty.”

“My part?” I look back at the bundle of notes, looking back at him shaking my head “No. Arthur this is yours.”

“Ya were there weren’t ya? It’s half and half.”

“Yes but I just tagged along.” I step closer to him, the notes right in my hand “I can’t accept it Arthur. This was your bounty at first, I just joined because Hosea asked you to take me.” I couldn’t take the money, this was all his. My hand shakes once, trying to force him to grab it “C’mon, it’s not right for me to have this.”

Arthur looked right into my eyes this time, as if to check I was being serious,hands on his hips while his eyes moved from my face to the money. Cautiously he grabbed the bundle of notes, but didn’t make a movement to pull it away “Why?”

“I just explained why.” I mutter, soon after placing the brooch on top of the notes as well “I don’t like taking other people bounties, especially when I was the unwanted guest that tagged along.”

“Now I ain’t sayin’ that—“

“Arthur, it’s fine.” The money and brooch are in his palm now, but I can see the hesitation in the grip, so I curl his fingers on top of the valuables, tapping his knuckles, “You guys need that more than I do.” which is true, I know how money can be important while running away from the law or camping and considering the camp is still trying to get their stuff together, it wouldn’t hurt. I feel Arthur’s gaze on my back when I climb onto Persephone, making my head turn towards him. He was still on the ground, holding the items tight in his hand, “What?”

“I don’t get ya,” he begins, this time finally placing the money and the brooch in his satchel “Ya pull out guns ta random strangers when they are tryin’ to collect a debt, then ya pay the debt without even sayin’ much and then when ya share a bounty...ya don’t want it?” the way his head is shaking shows how disbelieved he is, “If it was me I’d take the whole thing.”

I can hear his voice is amused and distrustful at the same time, as if he expects I’ll jump on him any second and steal all that cash. He doesn’t know me that well, the suspicion is understandable. I just shrug, “Been always like this, I don’t know, it doesn't feel right.”

“But ya robbed before right? If ya helped Sean.”

“I guess I’m just a wild card that’s hard to understand.” My smile is small but I was relieved he finally tucked in the findings to himself. He didn’t ask me much after that on our way back to Horseshoe Overlook, however I could feel his gaze moving to me now and again, hand casually hooked to his belt. He still didn’t understand what was going on.

The Marston guy greeted us back, more like greeted Arthur, because he gave me a small glare that I responded in kind. He muttered something under his breath but we are at a distance that it wasn’t understandable anymore. Arthur hitched his horse and immediately walked to Dutch’s tent, making me frown from where I was, Persephone’s reins in my hand, I wonder if what I did would make them more wary of me? Maybe I shouldn’t have done that.

I should’ve kept the brooch at least, it’d help a lot in the future.

“Barbara?” I turn around to see Karen a few feet from me, her smile sheepish, “Scotty and Madeline are with us, we was wonderin’ if ya wanna join?” she’s trying to fix her attitude when we first met, showing interest in knowing us more...and not thinking me and Sean were together because of how close we were.

“Sure,” I smile, following her towards the girls’ tent “What are you guys up to?”


	7. Propositions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH i am SO happy with THIS fic.
> 
> if only you guys KNEW how much <333
> 
> I am glad I am happy writing again. I really am (shout out to StrangeMan on youtube, his videos are helping me develop this fic even more! :>)
> 
> Kudos and comments are always welcome!! :D

Scotty and Madeline were sitting nearby the girls, just talking while the others were busy mending some clothing, Karen quickly going back to the small space between Tilly and Mary-Beth, “Barbara!” Mary-Beth smiled, “It’s so good to see you back!” Her green eyes moved to the rip on my shirt, it was relatively small but the white of the bandages was a sharp contrast from the black fabric “What happened to your arm?”

“A black widow killer tried to stab me.” I explain with a smile, laughing quietly at her shocked expression, waving my hand as if it was nothing even if it throbbed from time to time “It’s going to heal in a matter of days.” I sit down near Scotty, crossing my legs by the ankle while leaning back on my good arm, “What are you guys talking about?”

“We was just askin’ about where you were from.” Karen answered, picking up the needle she left behind to continue sewing what I assumed was Sean’s shirt, “But you weren’t there yet, so…”

  
  


Ah.

I offer them a curt smile, then wrinkle my nose, “So you can now ask me stuff yeah?” the three nod in unison and it makes me laugh quietly. I pause, my gaze fixated on my boots as I try to answer them without saying much, not even my two best friends know a lot of my story, “I am originally from the East but I moved to a town called Oak Heart when I was young.” they don’t need to know the details right? It’s better if they don’t. “And I’ve been around here ever since.”

Scotty scoffed, “And that’s  _ all  _ ya gonna get outta her,” her knuckles bumped on my temple teasingly, the dull pain making me wince away while laughing, “Believe me, Maddie and I tried to scrape more from her without success.”

“Aw,” Mary-Beth placed the pants she was sewing in her lap, lower lip jutted for a few moments before she smiled, “To be fair,I couldn’t really place your accent from anywhere ‘round here.” she taps her chin, “Are you from...Boston? Oh no,Madeline is from Boston right?” the blonde nodded with a small grin, “Then...New York?”

I tense up briefly, trying to cover my uneasiness with a smile followed by a one shoulder shrug “Can’t say, I just say I’m from the East because that’s what my uncle told me. I was barely six years old when I moved to Oak Heart” 

Tilly stopped her sewing to ask me next, “Where is Oak Heart? I’ve never heard of it.”

The laugh that leaves my lips is quiet, “I’m not surprised. Oak Heart doesn’t really have…good popularity.” I lick my lips as I look at my shoes, “It’s considered one of the most violent towns in this side of the country, there were attempts of civilization and well...a better reputation, but the town itself is corrupt. I left when I was old enough to.”

Of course, I let out the part of how you can’t even step out of a train without being robbed at knife point or how if you weren’t careful you’d be burnt alive in front of a school because you didn’t accept someone’s advances. Oak Heart has enough bad fame. “But it has good people.” I add after a while, “Very few and sparse, but they are there.”

A sigh of relief leaves me when they decide to ask Scotty more questions, my shoulders visibly relaxing with my gaze back on my boots. Oak Heart was a bad town, a violent one that very few good souls could reside without being corrupted, but the good souls rarely stayed and so the town remained covered in a blanket of darkness and despair. I’d love to go back one day, perhaps when it finally changes but...I don’t think I’ll live enough to see that happening.

The conversation turns into white noise as memories from a past I wished to forget resurface, I could still see the giant hallway leading to the girls' dormitories. 

_ I see my smaller feet making my way to the grandmaster’s office, knocking on the door to tell him I need water from the kitchen. He accompanies me, his face sullen, so quiet as I take a sip of the copper cup. I ask him why he looks so sad , but he only smiles at me, telling me not to worry. _

_ “You are all brave little souls here,Barbara. Every night I pray that each one of you in this place knows how much God loves you.” his hand is huge on top of my head, picking the copper cup from my hands to gently usher me back to the dormitories. I am confused, but I give him a little wave of good night, one he weakly replies. He’s a kind man that just wanted the best for us. He just wanted us to have a good life, even given the circumstances, to know the world might be cruel but we didn’t have to be. _

_ But he was gone in the morning. The name Father Martin being scraped out of the glass atop his door, soon after being replaced with Father Richards, Headmaster. I knew something was wrong. Father Martin’s library was shut down barely a week after he was gone. We watched from the windows, with the nuns behind us, as the enormous firepit roared on the playground, our books being used as fuel with Father Richards barking something at the men helping him. _

_ He looked back at the windows, then he met my eyes. He smiled as if mocking me, mocking us. My tiny fists clenched...I didn’t understand that the burning in my chest was pure, raw rage. _

_ Instead of looking away like the others would, I narrowed my eyes at him. _

_ He didn’t like that. _

  
  


“Barbara?”

Tilly’s voice snaps me back into reality, jumping on the spot before setting my gaze towards her, “Y-Yes?” 

Her eyebrows lowered sympathetically, “Hosea is calling you for a while now, have you not heard him?” I just shook my head, trying to refocus myself before my eyes moved back to Dutch’s tent. 

I saw Hosea smile at me, making a motion for me to come over. I bite my lower lip in thought, worrying the flesh with my teeth. Did I mess something up? Well it wasn’t like they trusted us, just because the girls were “friendly” and Sean knew who I was didn’t mean they had to believe we wouldn’t do anything. 

Not that we planned to, the last thing we needed was to act funny to the Van der Linde gang. Which reminds me to ask Sean about how he kept that information from me for so long? He always mentioned his gang but never what gang it was. Of course I undertook the secrecy was for the gang’s own safety, but how that never once came up was surprising.

“Miss Barbara?” he finally says after I remain immobile, too deep in my own thoughts “Would you mind joining us for a minute?” Without thinking I swallow a lot of saliva, then nod nervously. God what was it now? Scotty and Madeline look up towards me, I can see their eyebrows furrowing in worry but I could only offer them a shrug, I had no idea why I was being called in there...again. 

I push the flap aside only to see Arthur, Dutch and Hosea sitting down, with one stool left empty right next to Hosea much like the day before when we met. My stomach churned anxiously, giving them a small smile before I sat down, nervously tucking a few strands of hair behind my ears. It was Dutch who spoke up first, leaning back on the chair with a large cigar between his fingers, “Miss Barbara, Hosea has told me of what he’d seen today.” he then gestures the cigar towards Arthur, “And Arthur told me you refused part of the bounty money, even giving him a brooch that you could’ve easily taken to yourself.”

I could only move my eyes very slowly towards Arthur, who had his arms crossed over his chest, watching me under the brim of his hat. “Yes.” I look back at Dutch, “I did do that.”

“Why?”

Here I go again repeating myself. I let out a sigh, rubbing the back of my neck, “You guys needed more than I did. And I don’t like taking other people’s bounties, I’ve told Arthur that. It’s just how I work.” I end my sentence with a shrug, crossing my arms over my bust when I feel their eyes on me, I can’t help but do that, it’s a protection mechanism. It irks me how small I feel when I’m around them.

Dutch hums, his eyes watching me with interest, “That’s mighty honorable from you, miss.” he licks his lips, leaning forward towards me, “But you have to understand that we don’t understand honor as you do. You see, you’ve proven to be very capable and have a set of morals that I admire greatly.” Dutch Van der Linde approves my morals? Are my morals even that good if he finds them admirable? “And I have to admit,getting information out of you is quite difficult. I thought the girls would accomplish a lot more.”

So that’s why they were so talkative...very smart. I smile shortly, looking at my hands, “My past isn’t of any interest to you, Mr.Van der Linde, I can assure you of that.” 

“I’ll have to disagree with that,” he taps his cigar on the chair’s arm before rising it to his lips once more, “Hosea said your shooting skills are outstanding, that your redhead friend is a talented knife thrower and Miss Madeline knows how to use...swords?” The way the corners of his mouth tilted up at the end of that sentence should worry me. 

“...that’s right.”

“Which surprises me because I’ve never heard about a swordswoman in my whole life.” 

“Mr.Van der Linde,” I lick my lips anxiously “Why did you really bring me here? I don’t get it.”

There’s a pregnant pause that almost makes me think Dutch is just going to remain silent, but he finally speaks up, “Tell me, your friend, the one you’ve helped last year. What happened to them?”

I suck in a breath through my nose, “They went into hiding.” I begin, “There were...some issues, involving them near Blackwater,” at the mention of the city, the three men shared a look with one another, “But I haven’t spoken with them in months, I’ve been doing my own work to get at least some money to survive, with some contacts and friends along the way.”

Cripps helped me with money, of course. But both his money and Maggie’s money were a small percentage, just enough I needed to at least buy food for a while, and I didn’t want them to give me everything. Maggie still needed the money to recover from the past problems and Cripps had to make a name for himself without Jessica aiding him financially. I couldn’t just ask them to give me more than they already have.

Hosea cleared his throat, a gentle hand touching my shoulder, “We mean you no harm, Miss Barbara. It may not appear as such but we appreciate you helping Sean, Tilly and even Arthur,” the said cowboy didn’t look at me, choosing to admire the tent canvas instead, were his cheeks tinted pink? “You did this without even knowing they were part of the gang,correct?”

I nod mutely, Dutch takes this as his cue to continue talking, “I have a question, Miss Barbara,” he snuffs the cigar on the ground, the smoke finally disappearing in thin lines, “What made you join this life?” he must’ve seen my jaw clench, because he pointed a finger towards my face, “Ah, see gentlemen? As I suspected. Anger, fury...you are angry at someone,aren’t you?”

No.

Yes.

Fuck.

“I don’t see how this helps my situation.”

“Well!” Dutch spreads his arms in a grand movement, “We are all angry bastards, Miss Barbara, I guarantee we understand.” his eyes narrowed, still trying to figure me out “You went through great lengths, you have scars to prove I am sure of it. You are not a fragile flower by any means.”

My fists clenched on top of my thighs, the leather creaking under the pressure. I sucked in another breath to calm my beating heart. This was strange, so confusing,all this interrogation for what? So they can see how messed up my life was? “Dutch,” Hosea said, his hand still on my shoulder, almost like an anchor to bring me down from my thoughts, “Perhaps we should tell Miss Barbara about Sean’s suggestion?”

Oh no. What did Sean say?

“Fair enough.” the Van der Linde sighed, leaning back on his chair, almost upset he wouldn’t be able to prod me for more information, “Sean suggested you joined the gang, that you’d be a great asset.”

My eyes widened immediately, he what? What? That makes no sense, this makes no sense. This isn't how this worked, right? Is this another one of my drunken dreams? Am I at a saloon in Saint Denis, singing from the balcony in my unmentionables while baffled citizens watch me try to climb the trellis like a monkey? When do I wake up then? “I...I… I’m sorry, I don’t...understand?”

“Of course you’d have your responsibilities with the gang,” Dutch seemed to completely ignore my confused stupor, “As everyone does, I am sure you can-”

“No, no, wait,” I hold up both of my hands, clenching my eyes, “I-I mean...why...me? I don’t get it, you don’t even know who I am.” why this sudden trust? What is he planning? This surely has to be a trap, “Just because Sean said I am good doesn’t m--”

“Why Miss Barbara?” Dutch’s voice lowered dangerously, “Are you suggestin’ Sean is lying about you? That you ain’t trustworthy?”

His eyes are as dark as the deepest caves, he’s dangerous just like everyone else. I hate how this whole situation makes me feel so...inadequate. So weak. “No, of course not. It’s just confusing, we’ve met just a few hours ago and you are offering me...a place in the gang?” 

“Well,we offered Sean a place when he tried to rob the two of us.” Hosea added, then nodded at Arthur, “Same with Arthur and John.” All of this was so confusing, too much almost. In a way my brain was starting to consider the offer, I had no one really. Even while I helped Jessica,I technically had no other option besides that. I had no family to run off to, no husband to tend nor babies to feed.

It was only me and Persephone, hell I even met the girls last year only. My eyes lock on my legs, hat hiding my face, “Can you give me a moment?” my voice comes out mumbled, but I don’t wait to figure out if they heard me or not.

I am out of the tent before I notice, having to walk towards Persephone fast and when I am near her I simply support myself on my thighs, a shaky exhale leaving my lips, “Fuck.” I continue to look down at my boots, jaw once again clenched in worry. What do I even say to that? How do I even respond to that? A pressure touches my back and I immediately snap straight only to see Scotty with her hands up in defense.

“Woah, woah,easy Barbara. It’s just lil ol’ me.” I let out a sigh of relief, pulling out my hat to run a hand through my bangs, eyes closing at the memory of Dutch’s words. “Ya look paler than a scared ghost.”

I laugh quietly, “What a sight huh,” my back hits Persephone’s rump, so I use it for support because I feel my whole body getting tired. Scotty’s arms cross over her bust, her head moving over her shoulder towards the camp before she speaks again, much quieter this time.

“What’s happenin’? What did they do to ya?”

“Nothing, they just...I don't know.” I offer her a shrug, my hands then go to my hips, “They asked me to join the gang.”

I should’ve thought better about it, because Scotty’s shrieked ‘WHAT’ echoed all around the area, making heads snap our way. Quickly I grabbed her arm, dragging her to where the woods deepened a bit, at least giving us a trace of privacy, “Can you just be surprised like a normal person?” I ask when we are finally out of sight from the camp.

“How the hell ya want me to react?” she hissed, yanking her arm away to gesticulate wildly “They want ya to be part of the gang? Why?!”

“Sean suggested it,” I rub my eyes, I could feel the headache prickling in, “But I can’t do that, right? I can’t just...fuck, Scotty I don’t even know what to say!”

“Say no!” Scotty snarls, “Why can’t ya say no? Do ya even want to be part of that? Of this?” she gestured back to the camp, “Hell, I know we ain’t saints Barbara. We did our dose of killin’ as well, but we ain’t runnin’ from anyone!” I look to the side, letting air through my nose as Scotty keeps watching me, “...Why are ya considerin’ it?”

“I don’t know.” my head shakes as I reply, “I don’t...have a place to go back, like you or Maddie.” Scotty’s face turns sad when I say that. She knows that, of course she did. She also knows I’d never ask her nor Maddie for shelter...I’ve been on my own for so long, without a place to stay that I just couldn’t accept it unless it was my house. My place. 

“Ya know ya always could.” Scotty whispers, crossing her arms again, “Our house ain’t big but we could keep ya with us until ya get settled. Ya are my friend.”

“I know.” I lean my lower back against a tree, using it to support myself yet again,rubbing my hands up and down my face, groaning. “I know Scotty, I appreciate it.” we stay quiet for a while, my redhead friend sighing before we both hear footsteps coming our way. We expected it to be from one of Van der Linde’s members, probably checking if we weren’t planning how to kill them all in the middle of the night. But our shoulder sagged in relief when a gray pant leg appeared, being followed by the cream colored suit and the angular face of Madeline.

“You left your hat.” Maddie said gently, holding the Rexroad hat with both hands in front of her chest, approaching us quietly “Is everything okay?” 

Unlike Scotty, Madeline listened silently to what I said, but I could see her fingers wringing my hat’s rim from time to time. Her light blue eyes seemed to move between me and the space around her, humming in acknowledgement when I spoke. After I was done, Madeline parted her lips, then closed for a few minutes, jaw moving back and forth slightly as she thought of what to say.

“Maddie, I won’t get mad at you.” I reassure her, “Speak your mind, I might need the support.”

“Okay...I…” she pauses again and I frown, I’ve never seen her this nervous before, “If you stay with the gang, will me and Scotty see you again?” 

I scoff, offering her a warm smile, “Of course, silly. I’d always go out of my way to see you both, that is _ IF _ I accept.” but Maddie’s face is still sullen, something both me and Scotty notice, “Maddie?”

Her eyes move to the ground,I hear her nails scraping my hat’s fabric, “Mama and papa passed away.” she whispers, “And I sold the shop...it was too painful to stay in there without them. I...I decided to become a wanderer, like you.”

Now that makes my throat turn dry immediately. “What? Maddie why didn’t you tell us?!” I know how much her parents meant to her, hell, it was almost if they were her saviors by the way she talked about them.

She could only shrug, busy playing with my hat’s rim, her eyes downcast “I just...talking about them hurts. I sold the shop, not by much either. The house is still there but...I don’t know. Doesn’t feel right being there when they are gone.” Madeline was a good girl, she’d always be the kind, quiet type of individual you could go to when you needed someone to just  _ listen _ . I didn’t know her parents in person, only by letters and what Madeline has told me. They were both fairly old when they had her, traveling merchants that didn’t plan on having kids ended up with her as a daughter, she loved them very much. And for her to not tell me or Scotty about what’s been happening...it must’ve been eating her from the inside.

“I have no one else to return to, either.” her accent thickens when she gets emotional and I can see her trying to hold back tears.

“Oh,Maddie.” my worries are forgotten as I push myself off the tree, immediately wrapping her in a hug, “Sweetie, you shouldn’t have to hide that in you.” her skinny arms wrap around my middle, squeezing me while her eyes press on my shoulder. The tears are wetting the fabric but it doesn’t matter, I gently pat her hair and let her cry. Scotty joins us a few minutes after, her forehead pressing against Maddie’s temple as she whispers comforting words, one of her hands rubbing up and down her arm.

“I-I’m s-s-sorry.”

“Ya have nothin’ to be sorry for!” Scotty hastily wipes her own tears with the end of her sleeve, “Don’t keep bad shit in, sweetheart. It ain’t good for the soul, aight?” I feel Madeline nod against my shoulder, her own shoulders shaking at each breath she took, trying to calm herself. I simply hold her, allowing her to let out all the pain she’s been feeling lately.

Scotty straightens herself, a hand still on Maddie’s shoulder, “Ya stayin’ then?” she asks me, to which I only frown as a reply, a muttered ‘i don’t know’ leaving my lips, Madeline’s breathing easing down, “...I…” Scotty places her hands on her hips, looking at the ground, “...things ain’t been good at the ranch. Daddy has been havin’ some issues with some of them Raiders, they been shootin’ ‘round, killin’ the hogs. My brother is alone with him there, I can’t...stay if ya choose to.”

I had a feeling she’d say that. Scotty would never stay in the gang, even if we were considered ‘outlaws’ by the law, she’d never truly abandon her family. “I haven’t made my mind yet,” my reply doesn’t seem to convince her, but she gives me a small smile, “Tell you what, let’s...go back, I’ll talk to Hosea or Dutch or even Arthur and see what can be done.”

Madeline recomposes herself, grabbing the rice powder container, clicking it open and using the mirror to quickly dab the substance all over her face, pressing it harder on the left side before she was satisfied. I shook my hands trying to ease out the nervousness, Madeline walking back to talk to the girls while Scotty watched me approach the tent from a tree.

“Have ya been able to sell those Cornwall titles yet, Hosea?” Arthur’s voice asks from the inside, my steps faltering centimeters away from the entrance.

“Not yet, but I’m sure we’ll find something.” the elder man replies, “But the sooner we do it, the better.”

“Leviticus Cornwall,” this time it was Dutch’s voice, basically spitting the man’s name as if it was venom, “But Hosea is right, the sooner we sell those, the sooner we can get out of here.”

That is not a name I was expecting to hear. My eyes are wide, staring at the canvas and once again, all the noise turns into complete silence. I remember that name, I remember his face. God I remember his face.

_ My uncle places me behind him while a man on a gray horse talks to him over the fence, “Mr.Cornwall, I’ll ask kindly for you to leave my property.” I hold onto the back of his tattered shirt, the hand holding my shoulder back so I stay safely hidden tightens its hold on me “I’ve already said no to your proposition.” _

_ “I came here personally because my men let me know about how stubborn you are,” his tone is disgusted, looking at my uncle’s dirty clothing with a sneer, “And I hated to admit, stupid too. This land has more oil than you can imagine, it’d be much better off your hands.” _

_ “There’s no oil here, sir.” my uncle presses, “I can assure you, now please leave.” I let out a whimper, peeking from the side of my uncles’ thigh, the man on the horse snatches his gaze down at me, making me hide myself behind uncle Matias even more. The machete he holds is firm, swaying a bit, “Please, Mr.Cornwall. My family wants nothing to do with you.” _

_ His gaze is still on me, piercing me, as if he’s disgusted by my own existence, “This is my final warning, Mr.Köhler, you do not want to mess with me. I’ll give you three days to reconsider my offer...good day to you.”  _

_ When he finally rides away, my uncle picks me up and rushedly runs back towards the main house. _

The mix of emotions I feel almost makes me nauseous. There’s fear, anger, despair and confusion all mixed together. If Cornwall is involved in this...I’ve riden past his oil company in the Heartlands many times last year, every time I couldn't stand the smell that came out of that place. It made my stomach churn, it made my whole body tremble and I’d have to kick Persephone on the ribs to speed away. I’ve avoided this man for so long, so many years...what he did to me, everything he did to my family only made me more certain. 

I push the flap open so fast it makes the men inside jump, hands close to their holsters, “You are...planning something against Cornwall?” I ask, almost out of breath. Dutch and Hosea share a confused look, the latter finally answering me.

“Well, we got some of his titles if that’s what you mean.”

My hand clenches the canvas so hard I’m sure they could hear it ripping under my fingernails, “I’m in.” I barely recognize my own voice, my eyes looking straight at Dutch, “I’ll join.”


	8. Warnings and Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanna thank eeryone who has given this fic a chance (yes I see you!) even if you don't give it kudos or a comment I get really happy knowing you are at least reading it ;w;. I've had some issues with my writing for a while, hence why this account was ABANDONED and I am trying to get back.
> 
> I can't say I'm overly confident in what I write, but I like what I do write...and I'm glad other people do too ;w;
> 
> so thank you <3
> 
> (not proud of the chapter title tho l o l )

Hard to imagine me and Maddie have been with the camp for two weeks now, when we walked Scotty back so she’d ride the train back to Lemoyne, letting us know by shouting out the window she’d visit us and she’d help Maggie with her  _ ‘crops’ _ . I knew I had to see the woman soon, the more I stalled the angrier she’d be at me but knowing Scotty would be there to oversee the situation would work for now.

I sent a letter to Cripps about my new predicament and got a reply not soon after. He wasn’t pleased but at the same time, he understood why I chose to stay. He told me, however, to sleep with my revolver under my pillow in case any of the gang members tried anything funny and to visit him whenever I could.

What a strange, crazy situation we got in. And even when Dutch asked me why I was so interested in bringing Cornwall down, I barely gave him any information that he could possibly use. While Sean vouched for me, even letting out a yell of celebration when I said I joined, I couldn’t lower my guard. This was the Van der Linde gang, the ones responsible for the Blackwater massacre, the ones whose heads were worth more than the whole town of Valentine. Having Madeline with me helped, gave me a sense of normality and comfort, even in her grief she still tried to make sure I was okay.

So far the camp was...alright with us. The girls were super happy we chose to stay and we eventually met Abigail and Jack, who was Marston’s son apparently. He didn’t sound like a father to me from the way he and Abigail argued. The woman slowly warmed up to us enough to let Jack come by from time to time, sometimes she even talked to us before going back to her tent.

In the last weeks we’ve also met Lenny, who had just returned from Strawberry drenched in sweat, dirty as well, saying something about someone named Micah. I assumed it was another member and one Arthur didn’t like considering the way he responded after Lenny said he’d be hanged. They went out for drinks later, eventually made a scene in the saloon and got arrested...I wish I was there to see but I don’t think Arthur trusts me yet.

Dutch has been ordering me and Maddie to do some easy jobs, patrolling, checking the surroundings. Easy stuff we’ve done before. I couldn’t help but remember Jessica’s last words to me:

_ “Don’t get into too much trouble.” _

She’d lose her mind if she found out what I had gotten into. And now I suppose...I was a member until Cornwall was dealt with, or until Dutch thought I did enough. I still couldn’t understand, there has to be some meaning underneath the surface...but perhaps he truly needed more help to get the money he so shouted around the camp. Perhaps he thought we could help him achieve that goal, for a while. We were talented enough to after all.

Right now I am brushing Persephone since I’ve finished my chores already, the ones Grimshaw shouted about  _ ‘Just because you are new here, doesn’t mean I am going to make it easy for neither of you.’ _ I don’t think I’ve sewn that many holes in clothes that weren’t even mine, at least not at 27. Grimshaw was scary, but she cared, it was easy to read, she wanted the people in camp to be safe. Not to mention she seemed to order around as much as Dutch did.

Speaking of Dutch, I’ve learned his lady love was named Molly O’Shea and that she had a high and mighty attitude, thinking she was better than the others because she was with the leader. At least it was what Karen said through a sneer while she scrubbed a shirt hard. I can’t say she did anything to me personally, she barely looked my way after all. I let out a sigh through my nose, making sure to untangle Persephone’s mane carefully, knowing she’d get annoyed if I didn’t.

My horse huffed pleasantly, clearly enjoying the feeling of the bristles brushing over her dark fur. Since Persephone was...a handful, Kieran was having a hard time taking care of her, she wouldn’t allow him near or would try to bite him. I felt really bad, he was already a nervous little man and with a giant horse trying to snatch your hand off he just felt he was doing a bad job. I told him I could handle Persephone, patted him on the shoulder and tried to not be surprised at how he seemed to flinch at my touch.

I also had to tie Persephone far away from the male horses, I knew she would get violent to the point she’d possibly kill one of them if I hadn’t moved her away. The horse in question snorted, her ears flicking while I brushed down her front legs, no doubt enjoying the constant brushing. I rolled back my sleeves until they scrunched up on my elbows, wiping my forehead with my shoulder when I felt the perspiration forming. It was unbelievably hot. Mid of march, sun scorching down as if we were bacon ready to be cooked.

My attire consisted of one of my light shirts with my pants rolled up above the ankle, no shoes at all. My hair was up in a knot because there was no way I’d braid it in this weather. Even so I was still incredibly warm, pausing every now and then to breathe and fan myself. I couldn’t understand how the other girls did it, the skirts made me warm just by looking at them. 

Persephone’s head raised when she heard someone nearing our location, her entire body becoming rigid as a warning. I shush her as much as I can, running my hands up and down her neck to her shoulder, before looking at who the visitor was. I couldn’t see anyone until I looked down, little Jack looked up at me with expectant eyes, “...Hi there.” 

“Hi.” Jack’s gaze went to Persephone, who seemed uncertain of what she’d do with this tiny human in front of her, “I like your horse.” 

My smile widens, “Well thank you Jack.” from the distance I see Abigail watching us, slowly rising to her feet to be closer to her son. She offers me a small apologetic smile.

“I’m sorry, Miss Barbara, he really wanted to see your horse up close.” I just wave my hand at her dismissively, telling her to not worry about it. She leans forward a bit so her son sees her face, “Jack, did you want to ask Miss Barbara somethin’?”

Jack bit his lower lip, “Is she nice?”

“Perse? Yes she’s nice.You want to know a secret though?” he nods, “You are the first child she ever sees.” which is true, I rarely encountered children in my travels. I keep myself and Perse a safe distance from the boy, who looks behind him to his mother in awe, then back at me.

“The first one?” I nod, trying to hold back a smile at how excited he seemed to be, “Does she like me?” Persephone is still unsure, her head rearing back every once in a while. I can’t say for sure, and I clearly don’t want her hurting him. 

A sigh leaves my lips, “I think she’s just confused, there’s a lot of different people here and she’s not used to being in one place for long.” I pat her muscular shoulder fondly, “All she needs is a little bit of time and I’m sure she’d get used to you .”I pause, looking back at my horse, “Actually.” 

I open one of the side satchels, pulling out a small jar filled with dried raspberries. At the sound of the dried fruits hitting the glass, Persephone immediately perked up, sniffing my hand when I carefully opened it. She was excited, trying to snatch a bite when I pulled one out “Hold out your hand, Jack.” He did, so I put a dried fruit in the center, before placing my hand on Persephone's neck “Raspberries are Persephone's favorite.” 

Jack stared at the dried berry for a few minutes, then raised his short arm up to Persephone’s snout. My horse stared at him, tilting her head left and right. I held her reins loosely, letting the leather slide through my palm when she craned her neck down towards the child’s hand, because I could yank her back if need be. She gave a few careful sniffs, her lips moving around his palm and for a moment I feared she’d change her mind and bite him.

But Jack’s giggle immediately put me at ease, Persephone caught the berry between her lips and started to eat it, straightening her posture. “That tickled!” Jack’s sweet voice made me grin, I patted Persephone’s neck proudly, letting out a laugh when my horse leaned down again to nose his jacket, hoping to find more snacks only for the boy to laugh harder. Upon discovery she wouldn’t get more raspberries, Persephone quickly moved her head away -not before letting Jack gently pat her forehead- regaining her previous posture.

“She likes me!” Jack jumped on the spot, turning to Abigail to hug her legs, “Mama she likes me!”

“I know Jack! Isn’t that great?”

“Yeah!”

“Well, now go thank Miss Barbara.” she nods back at me when I put the berries back inside the satchel. With my body partially turned I can’t see Jack rushing over and hugging my calf -my god he’s so tiny!- burying his face into my pants.

“Thank you Miss Barbara!” he presses his chin onto my knee to look up at me and in that moment I’ve decided I might have children in the future, because my heart feels light from the way he looks at me with his eyes bright and chubby cheeks.

“Oh, you are welcome Jack.” I ruffle his hair. Of all the people in camp, I have to say Jack is now my favorite, “I’m sure Persephone loved meeting you, isn’t that right girl?” the Andalusian tilts her head to look down at Jack, surprising me when she leans down to lip his shoulder, snorting against his neck. Jack laughed, squirming away at the tickling sensation, letting me go to return to Abigail.

The woman offers me a kind smile, the two of them going back to the camp hand in hand. I sigh softly, they are a cute family...well, considering the circumstances. I still don’t know how safe it is to have a child in an outlaw camp, especially a 4 years old child, but from what I’ve seen ,they take great care of Jack. They don’t want him to meet any harm.

With Persephone clean and happy after having a dried berry before eating her hay, I go back to the middle of camp, twisting my neck here and there to crick some joints awake, letting out a noise at a particular loud one. It's what happens when you sleep on the ground for so long. I greet the people along the way, even Strauss. I know he doesn’t like me. He thinks I meddled with the camp business by taking over Downes’ debt, even if I managed to get him more money than he asked for. The german simply glared at me with his beady little eyes.

I approached the campfire where a percolator was, noticing Arthur was there as well. It was interesting, most of the time he wasn’t in camp, a rare sight to see indeed. I couldn't help but notice he got new clothes, a black shirt and a black vest with dark gray pants. He wasn’t a bad looking man at all, he looked really good in those clothes...I shake my head rapidly, trying to get that out of my head, ‘Good morning.” I tell him with a small smile, leaning down to pick the percolator and pour myself some coffee.

“Mornin’.” he replies, sipping some himself. I see his eyes move from the top of my messy bun to my dirty toes, the same toes that curl under his gaze. “Ya should let the O’Driscoll take care of yer horse, it's what he’s still here for.” 

“Persephone is going to hurt him, it’s better if I do it.” I take a cautious sip of the coffee, cringing at its strong taste. Maybe I could bring some honey to sweeten it? I saw a beehive not too far from here.

“Good, might help keep ‘im on his toes.” Arthur’s tone becomes pointed when Kieran walks past us holding a saddle, his eyes widen before speeding up towards the horses. We stay silent for a few minutes, just listening to the nature around us. “Miss Barbara, I’ll have to be honest with ya.” he sighs, “I still don’t trust ya, especially after the Downes’ ranch.” I purse my lips, but stay silent letting him continue, “...But it’s been two weeks since ya and yer friend joined us and nothin’ happened  _ yet _ . So I’m givin’ ya the benefit of the doubt.”

It was then that he got really close and I noticed how tall he was. My eyes reached his stubbled chin, “Don’t make me change my mind.” he ground the words out, his mouth in a seriou line, “Ya are useful but don’t ya try anythin’ funny. I’d do anythin’ for this gang and if I have ta end yer stay with us, I will.”

He means it. I know he does. A man like Arthur Morgan doesn’t lie, especially at how intense his storm colored eyes were glaring at me. I still keep my firm posture, nodding at him, “Don’t worry, as soon you guys deal with Cornwall I’ll be gone.” where to? Who knows. But it was what I’ve told Dutch: I’d stay until Cornwall is dealt with. Hopefully it won’t take long, especially if Arthur is going to keep his eyes on me and Madeline. He seemed satisfied with what I told him, finally stepping aside to walk away.

A shaky sigh leaves my lips, rubbing my forehead with the tip of my fingers, God...what a goddamn mess I got involved in.

* * *

I couldn’t really stay quiet for long after my ‘talk’ with Arthur. I couldn’t help but feel as if I was an intruder...which I was in a way. The girls seemed to like us and so did Jack. Dutch and Hosea were still watching us every move, even if the latter seemed more friendly I knew how sly that man could be. It’d take a while for them to fully trust us I suppose.

With the excuse of going patrolling, I left camp with Persephone in a gentle trot, giving me a safe distance from Horseshoe Overlook. I walked down a hill, going down to the Dakota River, maybe I could use some time watching the water in hopes it’d ease my own mind. As I go down, I start to notice a sharp black silhouette above the treeline, my eyes narrowing when I notice the ground starts to turn black...as if it was burned.

I can’t help but speed Persephone to get near the area, my eyes widening at what I see. A settlement, completely destroyed, burned to the point I could see parts of the buildings cracking by a simple gust of wind. My jaw drops immediately and I’m sliding out of Persephone without even noticing what I’m doing. It still smells like burnt wood, the ground cracks under my boots when I wander deeper, looking around. There was a saloon, a sheriff office, some houses too...the only thing left standing was the jail because of its thick stone walls. 

A fear starts climbing up my spine, I feel like I shouldn’t be here. I keep on looking at what used to be the settlement, walking my way up to the jail that was apparently unlocked. Inside were two prisoners, not burned but not doubt died from smoke inhalation, “Christ…” what happened here? Was it lightning? But how could lightning destroy an entire settlement? 

I walk backwards from the jail, closing the heavy door and trying to make my way back when my feet touch something. A barrell, covered in soot, cracked by the side. My eyebrows furrow and I gently push the barrell so I can see any type of identification. Parts of my brain started going insane the longer I stayed here, memories from my past coming back at how similar this was...and when the barrel was facing me, my breath was caught on my throat.

There, on the blue painted wood, was Cornwall Kerosene & Tar logo. My eyes widened, my legs buckled, “No.” I look around again, this time seeing more barrels, “No, no no …” Oh god, no.

_ “I offered you a deal.You should’ve accepted it.” _

My chest started to constrict, I had to get out of there. He did this. He did this, he destroyed this town. I called for Persephone, not recognizing my own voice or feeling the tears sliding down my face. I can’t breathe, I can’t breathe-

_ “Barbara! Run!” _

“No, no, no, no, no,” this can’t be happening, he did it again. He did it again. I wasted no time in hopping on Persephone’s back, kicking her ribs so she’d gallop away from there. I didn’t know where I was going, I was trying to control my breathing, digging my fingers onto the reins while my eyes clenched.

_ “Paola? What’s going on?” _

Persephone stops suddenly and I hop down, my shaking hands supporting myself against a tree as I try to ease the pain inside my lungs. My tears fall to the ground in large drops, hitting the earth beneath my feet while I look down my legs. He did it again. He burned an entire settlement this time, he is a monster. My god he’s a monster. He’s controlled by greed and wrath, that man knows no bounds...he’d hurt more people if he wasn’t stopped. I hear wheezing around me, eventually finding out it's coming from my body. I clench my shirt right above my heart, biting my lower lip, trying to hold back my whimper.

This is too much, I can’t, I can’t--

“Miss Barbara?” 

The gruff drawl makes my eyes snap open. Of all the people to find me...I don’t reply, too busy trying to control the way my breathing comes in and out of my chest. I hear a soft thud not far from me, grass moving as footsteps get closer, faltering every once in a while. He’s hesitant.

“Are ya, uh…” God what a mess I must look.

“I-I’m f-fine.” I hate when my voice shakes like that “Don’t w-worry about m-me, please.” please leave, please leave. You already don’t trust me, I really don’t need you here seeing me at my weakest, “I-I’ll go back to c-camp later.”

“I ain’t leavin’ ya here.” his voice sounded so certain, “What happened? Are ya okay? Why are ya cryin’?” don’t ask me that, I can’t explain why. Not yet, not yet. A pressure touches my back and that’s when I see his body appearing in the corner of my eye, was he trying to comfort me? “Ya are shakin’!”

I let out a broken laugh, “I-I just s-saw a big bear.” I wouldn’t even believe that lie, especially after the whimper I let out the moment I said it, “P-Probably a mama,” my words weren’t making any sense, all I could remember was the fire. The heat. I could hear the screaming, god I could hear the screaming coming from the barn. I just ran, I ran as much as I could, I--

“What are ya sayin’? What fire?” shit I was talking that outloud. Now he really wasn’t going to believe me. My fingernails dug into the tree bark, the splinters hurting the soft flesh underneath but I didn’t care, I couldn’t care. I had to recompose myself in front of Dutch’s principal enforcer who said he’d kill me if he thought I was a menace. After a while, his hand still on my upper back, I took in a deep breath, finally straightening myself.

“I’m fine.” I pushed myself away from the tree, hurrying my way back to Persephone, ignoring his confused conundrum of words, “Please forget you saw that.”

“Now ya just wait a damn minute!” I hear his footsteps getting closer, I’m already in the saddle eager to run off when he holds Persephone’s reins back much to my horse’s annoyance, “Ya can’t just act like nothin’ happened, why the hell were ya cryin’?” his eyes widened, cursing under his breath when he looks up at my face, I no doubt must look like mayhem personified. 

Arthur grabs something from his back pocket, holding it up to me, “Here,” it's a handkerchief, folded into a little square. I stare at it for a while, cursing in my brain when another tear slides down my cheek. I try to tell him I don’t need it, between sniffles, that it was nothing for him to worry about, “God damn it woman, why can’t ya just take it?”

My fingers still shake when I grab the folded fabric, muttering a quiet thank you while I dab it under my eyes and on my cheeks, sniffing all the way through. My body still trembles but it has subsided now, Persephone’s constant agitation of having someone else besides me holding her reins making her toss her head back in hopes he’d let go. How come I’ve never noticed that settlement? How long was it burned? I sniff one last time, clearing my throat to at least maintain a bit of self decency in front of him, my fingers playing with the now damp cloth. He still stared at me, eyebrows furrowed. What could he be thinking?

“...Miss Barbara, I--”

“It’s fine Arthur,” I sound so tired and it’s barely noon, “It’s fine, don’t worry about it. There’s nothing you can do.” I hand him the handkerchief back, which he hesitates in taking, adjusting myself on the saddle, “I have my own demons to deal with.” He seemed so uncomfortable already, God what a mess. Persephone tugged the reins herself, almost throwing Arthur off balance.

“Well, yeah, I’m sure o’ it, but,”

“Arthur,” I try to make my voice sound final, “I really don’t want to bother you with it and I’m sure you don’t want to know.” his mouth opens as if he’d protest it, maybe say something on how he hates seeing women cry or something along those lines. I really didn’t want this now. I pull the reins off his hand, finally regaining control of Persephone and taking off in a gallop yet again, not looking back at Arthur’s shouting my name.

I decided to hunt when I was far away from Arthur. I don’t have a bow but I know I can hunt plenty of animals with my rifle if I am fast enough. Anything to try and get my mind out of what I saw. It helps a little at first, I am able to kill three big rabbits and one turkey, but I can’t aim when it comes to the deers grazing the grass not far from me. My aim is off, my shot landing on the ground near a large buck who immediately prances away terrified, the females following behind, leaving the pasture. 

With a sigh I just plop down on the ground, supporting my rifle on my knees as I see the sun slowly disappearing on the horizon. I should go back now. But I felt like I couldn’t. Maybe camping here wouldn’t be a bad idea? I sigh even louder, rubbing my eyes with the heels of my palms, pressing them against my eyes in hopes I could get rid of the pain that formed behind the eyeballs. “Damn it.” Should I even let Dutch know about it? Would that even help? I am not...I don’t know...I don’t know. 

Maybe I should keep it quiet for a while? I had a feeling I’d have to share stuff I never shared with anyone before for the first time. 

The moon finally took its place on the sky, bathing the ground with a soft blue light and that meant I had to leave this location. I had dead animals that would no doubt bring predators to my area. My way back to camp was slow, I wasn’t really ready for anyone’s questioning right now, I just wanted to be quiet on my corner and cry more maybe. I give John a small nod, I must look terrible because he just nods back, not even saying anything about it.

Why am I not surprised to see Dutch at the entrance smoking a cigar? He probably thought I ran away or something. “Miss Barbara,” he nods at me when I slide off Persephone, grabbing the game from her saddle “A fruitful hunt,I see.”

I offer Dutch a tired smile, the older man looking at me by the corner of his eye “We thought you was hurt.” he said, “Or worse.” his worse probably meant something along the lines of betrayal, I could feel it.

“No, no I just…” I sigh quietly, walking backwards to Pearson’s wagon, “Just had to think, that’s all.”

The cook was so surprised by the amount of game I brought, thanking me with surprise while taking them from my hands. My reply was minuscule, just a nod. I went to a barrel to wash my hands, cupping some of it to wash my face, the chilled water working wonders on my skin. I let out another breath,pulling my gloves off to tuck them by my belt before going to the small area Madeline and myself were sleeping. 

Horseshoe Overlook wasn’t really spacious for the amount of people here, so we decided to give them their deserved space while we were deeper into the woods. Still near the camp but closer to the horses. My head was killing me, my body was begging for rest, I could feel my muscles pulsating in pain from all the tension I felt earlier. Maybe if I closed my eyes, maybe if I slept it’d be okay.

So I did.


	9. One Step at a Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry I've been binge reading some other Arthur/Ocs fics and I completely forgot to update this l o l 
> 
> so yeah, :)
> 
> also shout out to some AMAZING fics
> 
> *Dogs and Kings by beehive_amaretto  
> *Back to the Future by Caruscus  
> and Blank Spots by CanadianSummer
> 
> I HAVE MANY OTHERS BUT THESE ARE THE ONES I AM CURRENTLY READING NO W

_ “Barbara! Wake up!” _

_ I am yanked out of the bed. A hand bigger than mine but not by much takes me. I clench my doll to my chest. I am still sleepy, my legs dragging under me while the other person walks faster. Where are uncle Matias and aunt Raquel? Why is there screaming? I feel hot. I see red and orange from outside the window, swirling up into the sky. I hear the sheeps bawling in desperation. _

_ “Don’t stop running!” my tiny legs can only go so fast when we reach the outside, I look down to see my feet covered in mud. I have no shoes. I was sleeping, aunt Raquel read me a bedtime story, uncle came in and pinched my nose before both kissed my forehead goodnight. Then I am here.  _

_ “Where are we going?” I manage to ask, we are about to enter the cornfields. I dare to look back, the farm is nothing but a black silhouette now, surrounded by flames. I widen my eyes, “What’s happening?” _

_ “Don’t look back Barbara!” the voice replies, I look at them. Long brown hair in two braids, sleeping camisole, running much faster than me.My sister. She’s my sister. My legs start to hurt, I feel the muscles begging to stop, we’ve run into the corn fields. I hear voices, shouting, spitting curses, ‘go after them!’ I hear. _

_ “Paola?” my voice shakes, I am scared, corn leaves slap against my cheek, cutting my skin. I start to cry and I am suddenly lifted from the ground, held tight against her chest.  _

_ Then I see them. Three monsters in black, smashing the corn as they follow us. I hold Paola tighter, I can’t stop looking at them,I can’t. We do a sharp turn until we reach the main road, Paola never stops. She never stops. _

_ From the distance I see the orange light bouncing against the night sky, thick dark gray smoke going up, corrupting the white clouds above, hiding the stars. I know this is the moment I notice we aren’t coming back. _

  
  


I jolt awake with a gasp, drenched in cold sweat, I feel something wet on my cheek and I notice I cried yet again. My shaky arms support me as I look down at my body, someone covered me with a blanket, probably Madeline before she went to bed herself. 

My breathing is ragged, heavy as if I ran away from lawmen barefoot. The nightmare feels so real, too real, I have no doubt it’s because of yesterday’s discovery. I lie back down in hopes that staring at the sky helps the slumber return, a mix of dark blues and soft lilacs greets me, it’s close to sunrise. The camp is silent, I peek at Madeline’s sleeping form a few feet from me seeing she’s in deep sleep, burying her face into her own blanket.

I can’t go back to sleep now. My legs flex under the blanket after a few moments of contemplation and I push myself up with a quiet grunt, fisting the thick fabric in my hands before wrapping it over my shoulders. There’s a fallen log near the edge of Horseshoe Overlook, I’ve seen Javier and Hosea spending quite some time there often.

My feet silently drag me towards the log, I move surreptitiously across the camp, avoiding the tents and bedrolls along the way. It is then that I notice Arthur is back, sleeping on his back with his hat over his face, fingers laced over his stomach. I have to walk really close to him to get to the log, so I clutch the blanket tighter around me in hopes it prevents any snagging on his belongings.

With the log finally into view, I sit down on it and sigh deeply, letting the cool air fill my lungs. The night air is chilly against my bare feet, my eyes shutting closed to enjoy the silence. It’s strange...so much happened in a short amount of time, from joining a gang to finding that Cornwall is maintaining his death streak.

The clouds roll lazily above my head when the wind picks up, making me close the blanket over my chest, pulling my knees up to my chin. The past weeks have been a bit chaotic, getting used to a new routine and knowing you are being watched by others does that to you. 

My eyes move up to see the stars slowly fading away as the morning arrives. I could hear people groaning, waking up to start the day, I just curled into myself more almost using the blanket as a cocoon. I hope they notice I didn’t want to talk to anyone yet.

With my forehead pressed on top of my knees I don’t see anything,I just hear the sounds around me and feel the gentle breeze touching my skin, almost like a caress to wake me up and bring me into reality.

It was so strange. I’ve spent one whole year forgetting my own issues involving Cornwall, too busy on helping Jessica achieve justice amongst other things, now it looks like my brain decided to make me recall every single thing that happened in my life. 

I guess I’ve run enough from my past for it to catch up to me. My breathing warms my pant covered legs, the blanket still wrapped tightly around me. I don’t want to stay like this forever, I’ll try to work around camp in hopes to ease my own mind after a while.

Something warm touches my shoulder, making me jump on the spot with a loud gasp leaving my lips. The blanket falls down to rest on the crook of my elbows, exposing my back and head to whoever was behind me. I look over my shoulder to see Hosea giving me an apologetic smile, his hand hovering a few centimeters away from my shoulder.

“Oh...oh Hosea, good morning.” 

“I apologize Miss Barbara, I didn’t mean to startle you.” His voice is quiet still but I see him holding a tin cup, steam coming from inside of it “But I’ve seen you here alone and wanted to see if everything was okay?”

I offer him a short shrug, pulling the blanket up “Just had bad dreams.” He signaled with his hand to sit next to me, so I scooted to the side to give him space “It’s been happening often.”

Hosea hummed to himself, looking at the sky just like I was minutes ago, his jaw moving as if he was ready to say something. He remained silent for a couple minutes, then moved his gaze towards me, “Arthur said you weren’t feelin’ really good yesterday.” my eyes immediately close, a burning shame engulfing my body, so I try to cover myself more with the blanket. “Are you okay,Miss Barbara?”

“I will be.” I don’t look at him when I reply, choosing to look at the small bug taking a drink of the morning dew. I knew Hosea was still looking at me, by the corner of his eye, unsure how he should or even if he could continue his line of thought.

“I know these past weeks have been complicated to you. I know you feel like an outsider in the camp.” that is partially true, “I hope you know that if you want someone to talk to, I will be here. You seem to be a good woman, Miss Barbara and I’m not only sayin’ this without reason. Sean said you’ve saved him many times last year.”

“He’s easy to get himself in trouble.” the small smile on my lips widened at Hosea’s quiet laughter, the older man cupping a fist over his mouth when a cough interrupted it, his body shook but he remained smiling. 

“That he is.” he cleared his throat, groaning while standing up, the sun was now fully out and the blanket was starting to get uncomfortable around me. Hosea sighed, supporting his hands on his lower back to crack some joints before returning his gaze to me, “But I’m serious, Miss Barbara. You don’t have to be scared here.”

I just nod at him, my smile short. Hosea smiles in return, patting my shoulder, squeezing his hand there in the last seconds to show he meant it. I’m sure he did, he doesn’t seem to be the one who lies...he is a con man, of course, but I don’t think he lied to me. Or maybe I’m a fool who wants to believe it, who knows. I am still in lukewarm water around them, not exactly hot but not exactly cold either.

When Hosea walks away I just dip my head forward, rubbing both of my hands over my face while groaning quietly, my headache is gone but I still feel like there’s a slight pressure behind my eyes from crying so much. By my left I hear Hosea talking to someone and it’s not hard to figure out it’s Arthur, his voice is deep and accented enough to identify instantly. He seemed to be saying something back to his older mentor, something that sounded like a ‘no’ before Hosea said something back, something that clearly deflated the cowboy because of the end of his tone.

Steps once again came back to my side and at first I thought it was Hosea returning with more wisdom, but when I turned to look I was a bit shocked to see Arthur himself there, with a tin can of coffee being held by his index finger. Once again, the shame returned and I snapped my head away, playing with the loose skin by my thumbs, pulling it off, hoping the brief pain would stop the shame from spreading.

“I…” Arthur cleared his throat behind me, “Gotchu coffee. Hosea said ya was here for a while now.” he moves closer to show the cup in his hand. I can’t ignore the fact I needed some coffee to come into my senses after waking up before anyone else did. My hand stops its constant tugging and pulling on my cuticles to reach for the offered object, picking it from his grasp by sliding my index finger through the handle by the same time his own hand leaves it. Our fingers brush gently but I don’t mind it.

“Thank you.” God I sound nothing like myself, my voice is so quiet, “You didn’t have to.”

Arthur watches me from where he stood, looking around the camp before replying, “Coffee is always good to wake up.” he pauses again, “Can I...sit?” I nod, sipping the hot beverage with both of my hands cupping the mug, letting the aroma drift into my nostrils. Arthur took Hosea’s place next to me, letting out a sigh when his lower half touched the log, removing his hat and running his fingers over the longer hair on top of his head in the process.

“Listen,” his voice is quiet, making the heavy drawl more prominent, “Ya don’t have to tell me what happened yesterday,” my eyes leave the mug to look at him, eyebrows furrowed, “...I don’t know what ya problem with Cornwall is, hell I don’t even knew who he was until we robbed that train.” 

My smile is bitter and my eyes stare back at my hands, “Lucky you.” I reply in a whisper, setting the tin mug on top of my thighs, sucking in a deep breath, “He’s not a good man. I don’t even know if he is truly a man...the things he does…” I can’t help shaking my head at the memories that resurface, not completing my sentence “I’ll be okay, I’ll make sure that doesn’t happen again.”

He made a sound in his throat, one hand scratching the back of his neck, “I didn’t...mean ta run into ya like that. I was comin’ back from Valentine when I saw ya on that tree, thought you was hurt or somethin’ but then I saw your face and I just,” his jaw clenches diminutively, “I knew somethin’ wasn’t right.”

My gaze lifts to him, watching his profile in the morning light. He wasn’t...a bad looking man, that’s for sure, strong jawline and a nose that no doubt had been broken during fights, his scruff was a mix of dark blonde and light blonde, his skin tanned from the sun and the stormy sea colored eyes. He must have a lot of women, maybe even men, making eyes at him. After my analysis I start to braid my hair again, the lower part coming undone sometime in my sleep, “You don’t have to worry,” I say, moving each strand through one another quickly, taking slow breaths through my nose, “As I said, I’ll prevent it from happening again.” 

Arthur was looking at me now, his elbows resting on his knees while I fixed my hair, “Where did ya learn to shoot like  _ that _ ?” I look up at him in surprise, arching my eyebrow, he probably noticed his tone seemed a bit pointed “I mean, you- not that ya ain’t good, hell I ain’t sayin-,” its now that I notice Arthur is trying to talk to me, actually chatting instead of the one word responses and threats he’d throw at me from time to time. The poor man looked flustered trying to find the right words.

“I said it before, I helped my uncle when I was young.” I gave him a small smile, “I mean, if you consider begging him to teach me how to shoot when I was barely past his knee practice--”

“I ain’t askin’ ‘bout the animals, Miss.” he straightens his back, “Me ‘n Charles, went back to Six Point Cabin after yous was brought here and we saw them O’Driscolls on the ground. Not the ones we killed, but the ones on the other side. Ya don’t learn to shoot  _ people  _ in a farm, do ya?”

No, of course not. I lowered my braid to rest on my shoulder, picking the mug from my lap to give a few more short sips, licking my lips when I was done, “Well, you aren’t wrong there.” my chuckle sounds darker than I planned, so I look up at the sky wistfully “You don’t learn to kill people at a farm...at least not so young. I was 17 when I killed for the first time, it wasn’t quiet and I had forgotten how to use a gun by then, so I had to run away before the authorities came.” 

I tilt my head his way only to notice he had no expression, he was just listening intently, expecting me to go on. My head dips towards my chest with another laugh, ending in a quiet sigh, “He was a rich man, owned the saloon and the pharmacist building where his brother worked. He really liked hitting working girls but especially liked making people hear he did.” from my side,I hear Arthur take in a deep breath, cursing something under his breath, “So one day, when I wasn’t busy washing clothes or sewing dresses, I heard him beating one of the girls.”

I continue my story, explaining how the madam had begged him many times to stop hitting the girls that she’d allow him free pass if he stopped. They tried calling the police only for them to laugh, telling them they deserved it. I wasn’t one of the working girls but they took pity on me, letting me stay when I ran away from the orphanage, giving me food and clothes until I could leave on my own. By the time I got to the second floor, Henrietta was already bleeding, her face a mix of blues and blacks with him holding her by the neck.

He had a gun attached to his gun belt. The same gun belt he placed by the door, right on my grasp when I stepped in. Henrietta was my friend, they all were, a family when I had no family. I remember the revolver feeling heavy in my palm, making my hand shake so much I had to use another one to support my aiming. He laughed at me, calling me a foolish little girl, his head thrown back in cackles. 

He shouldn’t have done that because I shot him right below his Adam’s Apple.

His hand slapped over his throat, blood pouring out of his mouth, the gurgling sound was sick but I watched him fall to his knees. The same eyes filled with mockery were begging me for mercy even at the edge of his death. I couldn’t hear Henrietta scrambling up to me, holding my shoulders, nor I could hear the other women come running. I was lucky this man always came when there was no one at the brothel or else there’d be hell on earth.

The Madam told me they’d take care of the body, burn it or toss it to the giant bear outside of the town.

_ “You can’t stay here,Barbara.” she shoved all my clothes into a canvas bag, tossing it into my arms, “It’s not safe liebling. You have to go.” _

_ “But...but where will I go?” _

_ “Away from here. We’ll be okay…” I feel her calloused hand touch my cheek, the crows feet around her eyes crinkling, “This is for your own safety, please understand.” _

“And so I did.” I finish my story, my eyes looking at nothing while I feel Arthur squirm besides me, a soft ‘shit’ leaving his mouth.

“Damn--how did ya survive?”

I offer him a shrug, “Hiding, hunting, finding jobs that could help me. I did a bit of everything except prostitution.” his eyebrows furrowed, mouth curling into a question, “I know, I lived in a brothel, how would I not do that huh? I don’t know either, the Madam said I was...um...” I furrow my own eyebrows trying to remember her words, “Not for that world, I think she said. So I was just kept there to wash their clothes, mend their dresses, cook, anything they really needed.” my eyes soften at the memory, my thumb rubbing the mug’s thin rim “They were my family when I had no one.”

Arthur’s mouth was closed this time and I couldn’t figure out his expression clearly. He was paying a lot of attention to what I was saying, I am sure he had more questions..and then I noticed I told him too much of my past. Way too much. “I-I…” I immediately stand to my feet, startling him in the process, “...I should go now, see if Miss Grimshaw needs help,” stupid, stupid,stupid! You don’t share information like that, it’s not what you do. The less people know, the less people ask.

“Miss Barbara, wait--” but I’m already far from him, rolling the blanket into a ball and tossing back down on my bedroll, Madeline was up for a while now because her bedroll was empty but I couldn’t see her.

I have to get the thoughts out of my mind. I track through the camp towards Miss Grimshaw, she’s holding a bucket filled with dirty clothes and screaming at Karen who is sewing a pair of blue pants. “I’ll do it.” I take the bucket out of her hands without expecting her to say something back, immediately sitting down next to Karen. I don’t hear Grimshaw’s words, I’m too focused on just calming the memories inside, the fear and anxiety.

“Barbara?” Karen asks quietly when Grimshaw is gone, “Are you okay?” 

I am getting really tired of being asked that question.

* * *

Spending half a day cleaning blood stained clothes surely helps your mind from reeling back on the painful memories. My fingers were a bit sore, but nothing I couldn’t handle, hell I’ve endured worse I guess. Tilting my neck left and right, I let out a pleased sigh when I heard the quiet ‘crick’ of my joints popping, rolling my shoulders to set the circulation going again. After what happened I felt bad for leaving Arthur so fast, the poor man had no idea of what I went through, it wasn’t his fault.

I just...couldn’t.

People take advantage of your weaknesses, they manipulate and use you for their own gains. I don’t think Arthur would do that, he seemed genuinely interested in what I was saying, but I couldn’t push my luck. Besides, I can’t go back in time and prevent situations from happening can I? Everything that happened has built me into who I am, as bad as it was. 

But I wish I could go back in time at least under this hellish sun. I am all sweaty all over again, this weather is going to kill me, it seems hotter than yesterday, Jesus Christ.

I make a turn towards the water barrel to hopefully cool off only to have Madeline’s presence startle me, especially because I hadn’t seen her right on the way. I let out a surprised yelp, holding myself against the wagon as the blonde looks at me curiously, “Maddie, I really,” a breath leaves my mouth, my free hand pressed against my beating heart, “I really don’t like when you do that.”

She pouts her lips a bit, “Sorry, I just wanted to see if you were alright? You seem...distracted.”

“I’m fine.”

Madeline purses her lips more, her hands folded in front of her stomach,”You know you can tell me,right? I want to help.” I give her a small smile, then I notice she still wears those damned white gloves even with the sun hammering down our heads. She wears a light white blouse and a long beige colored skirt, nothing too fancy but her face was still packed with rice powder. I never understood why she always kept those gloves on, even asleep.I just told her not to worry, that it was nothing, but I knew she’d keep asking me things so I quickly turned the tables.

“Why do you always use those gloves,Maddie?” I begin, finally walking towards the barrel with Madeline following close behind, “Ever since we met I don’t think I’ve ever seen your hands without them.”

Her blue eyes seemed to flash in fear, her hands folding together while she rubbed her fingers, the sound of fabric against fabric hitting my ears, “Oh I…” she shrugs, “I just don’t like showing my hands?” I frown while cupping the chilly water up to my face, rubbing my hands from my chin to up my hair then resting them by my neck, savoring the cold feeling for a while.

“That’s a statement or a question?”

“Both?”

I snort, wiping the wet bangs off my eyes, “Maddie, I don’t know why you’d feel so insecure about your hands. They seem normal to me.” I held up my hands before she could open her mouth, “But, if it bothers you so much, I won’t prod. I’m just curious about the reason that’s all.”

Her shoulders sag visibly, her smile widening. Deep inside I know there’s more to it, but as I said, I wouldn’t prod her about it, “I’ve sent a letter to Scotty,” she says as I wipe the back of my hand against my forehead, cleaning off the moisture over the skin, my eyebrows furrowed in confusion, when did she do that? She replies as if reading my mind “A few days ago, while doing errands for Mr.Pearson.”

“Did she reply yet?”

“No, but then again you know she hates going to Rhodes to see if she has mail.” I make a sound of understatement as I smile. I could feel the sweat making the back of my shirt stick to my skin, pinching the fabric back to allow a breeze to seep through the linings. Madeline bit her lower lip, still looking at me,”Are you sure you are okay?” she repeated the question much quieter this time.

I let out a quiet snort that I hope covers enough of how I’m truly feeling, “Course I am. I’m just tired.” her lips curl even more into a frown “Maddie...really, don’t worry. I’m okay. Now turn that frown upside down because you are going to get wrinkles if you worry too much.” of course I try to sweep my traumas and memories under the rug, of course I don’t want my friends to worry too much like that because these are my issues. 

And my issues are my responsibility.

“Have you eaten anything yet?” Madeline is following me back to the girls’ wagon. I can’t reply before my stomach immediately churns in hunger, hell I didn’t have dinner last night and the only thing I had so far was pure black coffee. The blonde girl scrunched her eyebrows, pushing me towards the table ,forcing me to sit down, “Stay right there!” she calls while pointing her finger towards me “I’ll get you something!”

I debated standing up and walking away, but now my stomach was starting to punch itself, punishing me from starving. With a sigh I interlace my hands together, placing my chin on top of my knuckles as the camp sounds surround me, it's still strange to listen to so many voices at once. A soft groan drifts past my lips when my forehead takes my chin’s place on top of the knuckles, my body is still trying to ease the tension from yesterday without making me too exhausted. 

The sound of metal scraping over the wood brings my eyes to the bowl of stew in front of me, a thin spoon resting by it’s rim. It was a light brown color, almost transparent, with pieces of meat and vegetables peeking through the liquid. Madeline sits next to me, nodding her head for me to go on and finally eat it. Since I know for a fact she’ll watch me like a falcon until I do eat, and if I don’t she’ll just feed me herself, I just grab the spoon. Maddie keeps me company, her legs moving back and forth under the table while her eyes move around the camp, “I like this.”

My questioned hum comes out muffled, god I am so hungry even Pearson’s bland food is appetizing. Madeline does understand me, a small smile adorning her face, “Yes, it’s nice. I like these people, they seem to be good people...even if...well,” she shrugs, “No one is perfect.”

I cut a round piece of carrot with my spoon with some difficulty, Pearson probably added this one near the time the stew was nearly done cooking, it was still too firm compared to the other vegetables, “I guess we are all trying to survive in the end,” my voice comes out as a murmur, almost to myself, “I’m not saying...well… I’m not saying this is the best life to live, there’s a lot of dangers in it but it works for some.” Jack’s laughter makes both of our heads turn to his direction, where he is chasing a butterfly, my mouth twists into a grimace that I quickly remove from my face, refocusing on the stew, “Anyway, are  _ you  _ okay? I know it’s been hard.”

Madeline’s gaze falls in recognition to what I’m referring to, her smile less brighter but still present, “Yes. I’m better...I think I made the right decision.” she plucks the back of her white gloves, the pad of a finger following the delicate flowers embroidered there, “They’d want me to do something good for myself, they’ve been taking care of me for so long...protecting me...when I decided to become a writer and travel away from Boston I had a feeling it was what I should do.” a bird chirps above us, making Madeline’s smile return to her face. 

“I think you are very brave Maddie.” I scrape what was left in my bowl into the spoon, finishing the bite before continuing, “Not everyone would be able to handle the kind of life we live.” My stomach was thanking me by the time I was done, pleasantly filled with the tasteless stew. 

Pearson is a good cook considering their situation, yes his meals are oftentimes bland and lacking common spices like oregano...or hell even salt. I wonder if they ever had pasta? Maybe I can suggest it to Pearson one day...maybe. I wash my dish at his wagon, wiping my wet hands against my jeans when I’m done, making my way back towards Madeline.

“Barbara!” Quick steps catch up to me, the Irish brogue impossible to miss “How are ye this fine mornin’?”

“I’m alright.” I reply, blinking when Sean drapes his arm over my shoulder, walking with me “And you, Sean?”

“Oh I’m good, I’m good.” His smile is cheeky, his hand taps my arm “Are ye busy? There’s somethin’ I wanted to talk to ye about.” That makes me raise my eyebrow, but another voice breaks my gaze from him towards Grimshaw who’s currently marching her way over to us.

“Sean there won’t be any work for Miss Barbara right now, I need her to do something.” She yanks the Irishman’s arm from around me, dragging me away while he complains in the distance “Miss Barbara I need you to get some supplies in Valentine.” My mind was still moving by being tugged around so much in such a short time. “Arthur is not in camp at the moment and we need some things.”

“Oh...sure Miss Grimshaw.” She slaps a list on my hand, some money that no doubt Dutch told her to give me and pushes me towards Persephone without waiting for me to say anything back. She mumbles something about Arthur being “with that damned woman instead of staying, I don’t like her.” I assume she’s talking about his sweetheart? Arthur has a sweetheart? I couldn’t have known. He’s a very quiet man, I never seen him comment about his personal life. Not that he’d share around, I guess.

With my eyes on the list I part my lips with a question but I close my mouth when I notice she’s already barking orders at Mary-Beth.Well, alright then. 

Thanks to the heat I just wear my black waist shirt and jeans,which is still a mistake because dark colors are a danger during this type of weather, my feet wiggling uncomfortably inside the boots thanks to the leather warming down the soles.

I fidget on the saddle again and again, trying to find a comfortable position that wouldn’t feel like I was sitting atop of a burning pyre. Persephone panted loudly, the heat taking a toll on her as well,her neck twitching to prevent the flies from landing every now and then. I’d have to keep her in the stables while I went to get everything for Grimshaw.

My hair was sticking to the back of my neck, the strands not combed into the braid curling thanks to the moisture making me huff loudly, “God damn it.” I look back down at the list, then at the general store already in view. I left Persephone inside the stables before making my way towards the establishment, I made sure to pay extra for the horse care as well. Once inside, my eyes were moving through each shelf quickly so I could get what Miss Grimshaw asked without delay. But god, If outside was bad, inside was worse. 

Even the owner seemed to be having issues with it, opening the windows on the back in hopes some sort of wind would enter and chill his store. We make a bit of small talk ‘crazy weather’ ‘yeah, insane.’ but nothing evolves from that, both of us visibly uncomfortable with the heat, too uncomfortable to keep on talking. When I walked back out with the requested items, it was like I left a firepit to step into Hell itself. The heat made the town that already smelled bad, worse. The mix of mud, shit and bodily fluids from the citizens made my nose burn.

But inside the stables while still hot, was less warm than the general store and I preferred the smell of only horse shit than whatever disgraceful mixture was outside. I placed the bag of items inside Persephone’s saddlebags before unbuttoning the three top buttons on my shirt, something no doubt would make people gasp but I was too bothered by the heat to care. I fan myself with my hat, closing my eyes in bliss when the sweat immediately cools off, giving me a brief moment of chill. I stayed inside for a while, one of the stableboys asking me if I wanted some water which I immediately accepted, sitting down on a crate near Persephone to drink it. 

However, I imagine Miss Grimshaw wouldn’t want me to take too long, so I am back on my feet guiding Persephone outside to climb back on her saddle, thanking the stableboys along the way. Jesus Christ I hate this weather. “C’mon Perse, let's get outta here.” I huff out a breath, trotting my way out of Valentine. When I see the train station in the distance I decide to check if there’s any mail for me or Madeline, something I knew wouldn't take too long, maybe Scotty replied or Cripps sent a letter? I hurry inside to the mail station, silently thanking God at the lack of heat. 

The clerk looks up when I approach him, his eyes moving down where my shirt was open before snatching his gaze upwards, his face turning beet red. My unimpressed stare makes him squirm on his seat and I ask him if there is anything for me, under my fake name. It was something I started doing after I joined this life, it was safer that way. The clerk nods quickly, turning his back to me so he could check if there was anything with my name on it.

I let my gaze travel around while waiting, blinking in surprise when I see Arthur entering the station with a young man by his side, the two of them meeting a pretty woman halfway. The lady hugs the teenager close, she seemed happy to see him while Arthur watches albeit awkwardly, placing his hands on his belt. Her voice is light, even if I can’t understand what they are saying from where I am I could hear her say his name. So was this his sweetheart? I can’t help my curiosity, tilting my body a bit more to get a better look at the scene, trying to get a better look.

She is  _ beautiful _ . Her skin is dewy and clean, her hair shiny and her clothes? Her clothes are way too pristine for this hell of a town, not a smidge of mud in the fabric from what I could see.The three disappear from my view by making their way towards the train and I tilt back to face the clerk, “I’m sorry ma’am, there is no correspondence for you.” I can’t help but feel a bit disappointed, but I thank him nonetheless, walking back outside to hell on Earth. I slow my step when I see Arthur’s beautiful gray colored Ardennes is drinking not too far from my own horse, her huge head lifting to watch me, water dribbling down her snout. She’s a monster of a ride, tall, muscular and no doubt resilient, Ardennes are war horses after all.

She’s bigger than Persephone, thicker too. I can’t help but approach her cautiously, “Hi girl,” I whisper, the huge horse leans her head into me inquisitively, sniffing my hair with a snort before moving it to my shoulder, lipping the fabric, no doubt tasting the sweat. I pat her thick neck and she leans her head back, adoring the attention, “You are gorgeous, huh?” the Ardennes leans back into my touch, her velvety nose rubbing my palm. Behind me I could hear Persephone stomping her hoof on the ground, clearly displeased the tender caress wasn’t on her, the loud whinny making me laugh.

I look back towards the Andalusian, then give the other horse a final pat while turning towards Persephone, “You are such a baby sometimes.” I tell her when I’m close enough, laughing louder when she rubs her head against me, trying to erase the other mare’s scent from me. My laughter dissolves into quiet chuckling when I hop back on her saddle, turning her body back on the road so we could return to camp.

“Miss Barbara?” Arthur’s voice makes me stop, my head facing his form walking down the steps, his face flushed thanks to the weather, “What are ya doin’ here?.”

“I came to get some supplies for Miss Grimshaw and check for some correspondence along the way,” I explained, watching him climb swiftly over the horse’s saddle, walking up to me. I am thankful Persephone is only jealous with female horses and not overly violent, or else she’d probably hit Arthur’s horse by how close she is to us.

He nods, tilting his hat to the crown of his head so he could wipe the sweat from his brow, “She gave ya the list huh?” He chuckles, but I sense there’s something bothering him under the surface “Well I’m ‘bout done here so hope ya don’t mind me taggin’ along witchu.” 

“Not at all.” I admit I’m a bit shocked he’s willingly wanting to join me on our way back to camp, “I assume everything went well with whatever you were dealing with?” He sighs deeply, broad chest expanding, his eyebrows furrow a minuscule amount, a small v forming between them. 

“Ya could say that.” His head dips at the end of his phrase, pulling his hat back down on his forehead, I do the same with mine. I don’t dig more information, it was personal and unless he allowed, I’d ask. She was a pretty woman, she seemed to be rich too, way too clean for these parts.

We are relatively quiet saved for our horses snorting and huffing,and it leans on the awkward silence before Arthur breaks it, “I wanna apologize for earlier today,” my brows arch in surprise, “I uh--I shouldn’t have asked that much. It made ya uncomfortable and it wasn’t my intention.”

My torso turns to him partially, eyes wide, “Arthur, there’s nothing for you to apologize. You were just curious.” he isn't looking at me, but I choose to continue “I can’t blame you for asking me stuff. It's just--I am not used to sharing a lot, you know? It’s not you.”

His back straightens a bit and I can see the conflict on his face, “Yeah, but--”

“But nothing.” I cut quickly, “I am not mad at you, I promise, you’d have to do a lot worse for me to be mad at you.” maybe it’s a bit of overstepping but I playfully punched his arm, Jesus he’s thick like a wall my god, I doubt he even felt that, “So, relax, don’t worry too much. You were simply asking me things, you don’t know me.”

Arthur’s whole body seemed to decide what it should do, his gaze moved from me to the place I punched then back at my face. He then fidgets onto the saddle, clearing his throat, “I s’ppose yer right.” it's a quiet reply but it makes me smile, nodding at him before moving my gaze forward once more. We make our way towards the tracks, the smoke from Horseshoe Overlook’s camp appearing on the horizon, stopping every now and then so our horses wouldn’t stomp down a poor rabbit and I’m glad to say we eventually chat after I assured him it was alright.

We share a few thoughts on certain matters, a few hobbies too, he slips out he sometimes doodles things he sees or he finds pretty, I let him know I can’t draw but I love reading...amongst other hobbies I don’t think he’d be interested in knowing just yet. But it was a good step! We are talking! I even make him chuckle when I tell him about my ventures with Sean last year.

“And Sean was hanging by a tree branch, holding his crotch because the back of his pants was hooked just right on the branch,” Arthur throws his head back in a loud laugh, a hand slapping his thigh. I don't know why my stomach flutters when I see him liking my story, possibly because he’s being nice to me and we could finally stop the threats he’d been throwing my way.

His laughter doesn’t stop even when he starts to cough, I could see tears forming by the corners of his eyes when he places a fist in front of his mouth, “Oh my God,” his voice is still breaking with laughter, the booming sound becoming a close mouthed chuckle. Arthur tries to regain his composure, taking a deep breath only for it to break at yet another laugh, using his knuckles to wipe under his eyes, “I--that’s the funniest,” he snorts, “The funniest fuckin’ thing I’ve heard in a while.” 

I can’t help my own grin from forming, “Oh there’s a lot more. As Sean said, I’ve helped him a  _ lot  _ last year.” my head tilts towards the tall cowboy who has finally calmed himself down when we near the camp’s entrance, the reason for his outburst appearing into view with a smile, that turns into a confused frown when Arthur starts chuckling again.

“Ay, what’s so funny Englishman?”

“Gotta be careful next time ya are lost Sean,” the gravelly voice replied, “Ya don’t wanna be hangin’ ‘round branches by yer pants do ya?”

Sean’s eyes widened in pure horror, looking right at me. Betrayal was written all over his face, that and the flaming red blush covering his freckled cheeks,”Barbara!” I just shrug innocently, walking past him with Arthur until we reach the center of the camp, both of us sliding out of our horses one after the other. I open the saddlebags to pick the supplies Miss Grimshaw asked for, holding them in my hands only to see Arthur leaning against his mare’s rump with one of his hands at the waist. 

“That was--” another chuckle, he shakes his head while grinning, “That was funny. Another thing to tease that damn Irish bastard ‘bout.”

“You are welcome.” the supplies are safely stacked on atop the other in my grasp so they don’t topple down onto the grass, “As I said, there’s plenty of stories concerning Sean I could share.” 

Arthur is still smiling when he looks at me, nostrils widening when he takes in a deep breath, rubbing his stubbled chin thoughtfully, ‘Ya know Miss Barbara,” he begins, “I wasn’t havin’ a good day, there was...someone who I had ta see and well, I wasn’t really feelin’ like myself when I left. When I saw ya I have to admit I was just hopin’ ta get some sort of distraction from it, even if it was just dumb chitchat,” I tilt my head at him with another smile, waiting for him to continue, “And I gotta say, our talk made me feel a lot better. Been a while since I laughed like that.”

My chest swells with pride, I don’t even know why “Well I’m glad I could help.” while making my way towards Grimshaw he follows close behind, but turns towards the left to meet up with Hosea while I continue on, I assume our conversation is over but I hear him calling my name again, “Yes?”

Arthur stays a few meters away from me, the corner of his mouth lifting into a smirk that ends up making him a lot more attractive, which was wrong. I couldn’t think that even if it was the truth. “Maybe havin’ ya ‘round ain’t so bad.” his words make my eyes widen, but he doesn’t see before turning on his heel to meet Hosea near Abigail’s tent.

I remain on the spot in shock, but the shock dissipates into relief and I smile, dipping my chin to my chest as I make my way towards Grimshaw who was watching the whole ordeal with one eyebrow raised.

I blame the heat on my cheeks on the weather, because what else would it be?


	10. Bison Hunting for the Memories Long Forgotten

The camp seemed to get used to us a lot more now. Dutch still haven't given us something big enough to show what we know, but we worked around the camp a lot more. The girls were already considering us close friends, well, almost all of them. Molly rarely left the tent she shared with Dutch, and Mrs. Adler...well, she wasn’t as I remember. I honestly hope she gets back on her feet soon. I don’t know if she plans on staying or what she plans at all, she never talks to anyone.

Now the men were something else. Bill is still a  _ charm  _ towards us, spitting curses under his breath he quickly seizes when I ask him to speak louder, which immediately gains us points with Javier. The revolutionary was interesting, he was perhaps the most polished of all the men there, always dressed to impress with his clothes and hell, I think he even uses cologne from time to time. Kieran was still being considered an O’Driscoll and often treated as such from time to time, but he was good with horses so they kept him around.

I personally think he is scared of his own shadow. He is still threatened around the camp, even after saying again and again he’s not an O’Driscoll.

Uncle is...Uncle. I don’t know what to make of him, he is almost always sleeping when we are around, or complaining of lumbago, or both. Reverend Swanson was quite a character, especially after Arthur carried him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes back into camp, complaining about how the ‘bastard almost got both of us killed with a damn train.’ The reverend’s eyes were glassy most of the time, and he smelled like liquor too, often mumbling nonsense to us. 

Hosea was like a fox dressed as a sheep, not quite a wolf, but just as dangerous. His eyes held a wisdom and 

And speaking of Arthur I think he warmed up to me a little after our chat back from Valentine, he wasn’t as brash nor grumpy when talking to me earlier in the mornings, not to mention that talking about Sean’s misfortunes while we worked together always seemed to make him laugh.

He had a nice laugh too. I suppose it was a good step.

So when I heard him and Charles talking about hunting Bisons I couldn’t help but eavesdrop from where I was, setting the bales of hay down on the ground while they talked not too far from where I stood. 

“You wanna come with me? I’ll show you how to hunt one.”

“Sure.Why not.” 

“Would you like to join us,Miss Barbara?”

I blinked in shock, the two men staring at me with interest. Apparently I wasn’t inconspicuous as I thought I was because instead of staying in the same spot and  _ listening  _ I’ve approached them without even noticing, “Oh uh,” I look back at Grimshaw who was yanking a book off Mary-Beth’s grasp, “If it’s no trouble I guess.” Charles nodded, already making his way towards his horse while Arthur followed a bit behind.

Madeline looked up from her spot in the shade when I accompanied the other two , eyes widening before she scrambled to her feet, trying to keep up with me “Where are you going?” 

“Charles is going to show us how to hunt bison.” I explain, approaching Persephone while Arthur and Charles did the same to their horses. Madeline’s soft gasp turned my gaze back at her, watching her get closer to Charles with her hands clasped in a pleading motion.

“Can I join you, Mr.Smith? I’ve never seen a bison before!” I bite back a laugh at Charles’ surprised look at ‘Mr.Smith’ and at how much shorter Madeline was compared to him, having to tilt her head up to see his face. For the short time I’ve known Charles, he was always a cool headed individual that kept to himself most of the time, only sharing conversation with Arthur from time to time. I wasn’t sure if he’d appreciate Madeline being so in his face.

I could hear him swallow from where I was, then his head dipped down and I could swear he smiled, “Sure, Miss Madeline.” Madeline let out a happy noise, quickly making her way to Caramel while humming a little tune.

“Is she always like that?” Arthur asked after he was settled on the Ardennes back, looking down at me.

“Most of the time, she means well though. I don’t think there are any bisons in Boston.” I reply, climbing over Persephone’s saddle and waiting until Madeline trotted up to me, still smiling brightly. The four of us trotted away from camp with Charles leading the way, eventually sharing with us stories his mother used to tell him, about how her tribe would move with the bisons, how they were like one, how the bisons would give them everything from food to tools.

“Huh I don’t remember much of my childhood,” Arthur began, our horses slowing down to a trot “But I think my people, we pretty much moved with the whisky.”

I couldn’t hold back the snort that left my lips, placing a hand over my mouth at the joke. Arthur smirked my way, saying ‘it's true’. My smile faltered a bit when Charles talked about his father, even while laughing I could feel he was still hurting from whatever happened in his past. Madeline then spoke next, “It is very poetic.” The three os us looked her way, “Following such a magnificent animal because they know how to work with nature more than humans do. It is beautiful.” 

Charles stared at the blonde slack-jawed, “I….thank you,Miss Madeline.” he cleared his throat, moving his gaze away when Madeline nodded with a small smile, a bit flustered “Let’s...try over here to the left.” The pasture was such a vivid beautiful green it almost felt unreal. I’ve always found the Heartlands extremely pretty, it had so much wildlife being far away from the civilization itself. We trotted towards the edge of a plateau, the wind blowing against our faces when we saw them.

Nearly fifteen bisons grazing on the grass below us, gleefully unaware of our presence watching them, three or four calves running around their much larger parents, kicking the air with their hind legs, little orange balls that seemed to move faster every time we blinked. My mouth immediately parted at the sight and I felt my eyes burn with tears, it was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.

“Over there, you see them all?” Charles points his fingers towards the large bovines, a smile on his face “Incredible, aren’t they?”

“They are beautiful.” my voice was shaky and I could see Madeline’s smile widen from where she stood by my left, “I don’t...think I’ve seen that many before.”

“They...they are so incredible.” her accent seemed thicker this time, no doubt she was emotional as well, “Oh look at the little ones! They are so adorable!” for a moment there I was sure she’d hop off Caramel and run all the way down to see them up close and try to pet them. I don’t blame her, they are cute, but it isn’t that smart to run down there like that.

Another clear of his throat before Charles spoke once more, “We should kill only one of them.” he paused, eyes moving rapidly around the area, “I’ll keep them ringed in and you can see if you can bring one down.” he was talking to Arthur now, who nodded once, his arms crossed over the back of his horse’s neck, supporting himself.

I knew for a fact that we were just there to watch them, not to bother, but I admit I was surprised when Charles asked me and Madeline to go down the plateau, staying put in case any bison tried coming our way, while Arthur stayed above us. Charles took off ahead, I couldn’t help but admire how the bisons despite being massive creatures ran so fast, they were a force to be reckoned with no doubt. We didn’t even flinch when we heard the gunshot, the herd dispersing far into the distance while we made our way over, the clopping of hooves ahead of us signaling Arthur was on his way down to check the game.

A low whistle left my lips at the size of that thing,“Damn,” I lean down on Persephone’s neck to take a closer look at the fallen bison, “That’s huge.” it towered over Arthur even dead on the ground. 

“That was a clean shot,” Charles commented when he approached us, “Well done.”

Arthur dipped his head in thanks,slinging his rifle over his shoulder with his knife in hand, trying to decide where he should start. My eyes moved back to Charles, who in turn narrowed his own gaze towards the opposite direction where vultures seemed to be flying by, his jaw moving uneasily at the vision. “Alright, skin and butcher it. Take the horns too. It can all be used.” 

That was a lot of work, it’d take some time to skin it by himself…”Can I help?” I am already on the ground making my way over, much to Arthur’s surprise, “It can be faster with more people.”

“I agree,” Charles replied before Arthur could,“While you two do that...I will check on something, I won’t take long.” he kicked his horse on the ribs before darting on the direction the vultures flew to. Arthur was quiet for a while, then he looked at me, waiting for me to finally join him. Madeline stayed aside, keeping an eye out for predators who’d try and snatch a piece of the game so we had to work quickly.

The bison’s hide and horns were rolled up on the back of Arthur’s horse, the Ardennes barely flinching when the heavy weight was set on her rump while Madeline and myself shared the meat in our saddlebags. Madeline’s head moved back and forth, “I wonder if Mr.Smith is alright? He seemed troubled before leaving.” Caramel stomped the ground beneath her impatiently, perhaps nervous being so close to now a giant carcass.

Arthur’s name was called and in the distance we could see Charles’ silhouette, seated atop Taima, he was moving his arm, beckoning us closer. We quickly made our way over only to follow him towards a group of vultures huddled up around what seemed to be a group of dead bison. I couldn’t help but frown, they were...whole besides the obvious signs of putrefaction, the hides ripped by animal bites trying to get the meat and its insides being tugged out by the same vultures that flapped away widely when we neared the area. 

Charles seemed to notice the question hovering in the air, “I thought I saw some scavenger birds in the distance...I wanted to see what attracted them.” his gaze hardened towards the fallen creature, “Shot and left for dead,it looks like.”

“Why would someone do that?” Arthur asked, his frown deepening the more he looked.

“I don’t know, but I see tracks heading this direction.” Charles pointed ahead, where we could see horse tracks leading away from the area “I say we follow them.” he seemed agitated while we followed him ahead, I couldn’t help but look back at the bison carcasses with a deep frown, only hearing parts of Arthur’s question if an animal would’ve done that.

“No, they’d been shot. I just...don’t know why anybody would just leave them there to rot like that.” we got silent after that until Charles noticed another fallen bison on a hill, this one smaller, no doubt reached adulthood just a few months ago, “Shot and left for dead again,” his voice was clipped, “But it looks fresher.”

Madeline blinked, looking over Charles’ with a frown, “I see a camp.” before we could stop her she was already making her way towards the abandoned campsite, sliding out of Caramel to take a better look, leaning down to pick up an empty can “These still have juices.” she brought the can closer to her nose, taking a sniff, “And smell relatively fresh, maybe they’ve been here half a day ago?”

Arthur joined her by checking the fire pit, the firewood was still warm under his touch signaling that the timeline Maddie suggested was correct, much to Charles’ agreement of how long this bison had died. Arthur clapped his hands to get rid of the soot before meeting Charles’ gaze from the ground, “So what do ya wanna do?”

“They could still be in the area,” he begins, “Let’s get up higher,see if we spot anything.” he was so tense I could see the jacket he wore bunch up around the shoulders, but he remained quiet, never expressing how he really felt about the whole situation, not fully at least. It didn’t take long for him to notice smoke to the North, possibly another camp. It’d make sense they’d camp near where the bisons grazed.

It was horrible seeing yet another carcass, this one fresher than the others, blood still oozed below the bison’s massive body, showing us a grim reflection of our faces as we stared at it, ‘Bastards. Just killing for fun.” Charles snapped, the anger fizzled out of him as if it was a storm rolling in, thundering in warning, ready to come down to destroy everything in its path...and honestly I wouldn’t blame him.

“You think we can talk?” even Arthur’s tone seemed clipped, the undertones hiding that talking was the last thing in his mind.

“I doubt it, poachers wouldn’t talk.” I say finally, rubbing my eyes “Whoever they are they won’t even say a peep to us. They’ve been killing bison for God knows how long.”

“I don’t kill for fun, I kill when I need to.” Charles snarled under his breath, then his gaze snapped ahead,his eyes narrowing to have a better view before he darted ahead, the three of us quickly following him so we wouldn’t lose him from view, “Look!More dead bison!” Jesus, there were so many of them, the closer we got the stronger the stench of putrefaction became, “It has to be them,come on!”

“Wait up!” Arthur couldn’t stop him when Charles simply took off ahead of us yet again, the clouds of smoke left behind by Taima’s strong hooves breaking when we ran after him, watching Charles go up a hill and hopping off the horse’s back, we were able to approach the scene not soon after, sliding out of the saddles to follow him. Two men who were either too drunk or simply too stupid to notice Charles were at camp, I couldn’t help but narrow my eyes at the rifles perched by their tents, not doubt freshly used.

“Did you fools shoot those bison?”

“What’s your problem?”

“I said,” Charles’ voice rose a minuscule bit, “Did you fools shoot those bison?”

The largest of the two started to stand to his feet, ‘Calm down you black or red bastard, whatever the fuck you are,” of course he had to throw that in, besides killing animals without a reason he’s a racist too. Me and Madeline were behind Arthur, he had stepped in front of us when the man started to stand up and while I do know even more than him we could take care of ourselves I found the action quite heartwarming. 

We did flinch however when Charles shouted “DID YOU SHOOT THEM?”, his voice was strong but I don't think I ever heard him shout around camp before. Not like this at least. Our suspicion was proven correct when one of the men said they did shoot the bison, as if that would make Charles or any of us back off, no doubt trying to scare us away.

“What business is it of yours what we-” we barely saw the other guy pull out his revolver because he was already on the ground, the gunshot seemed so much louder in this little camp, the horses neighed in complaint at the noise even as far as they were. The guy’s head exploded, brain mass and blood covered the stone and grass, some of it splattering on the other guy’s face, who in shock fell back on his ass, eyes wide and horrified.

“It’s THAT business of mine!” Charles neared the fallen man, who feebly held up a hand in hopes it could defend his sad person from the shotgun wound that would most likely destroy him as it did to his friend. 

“L-Look, I got a family, a family,” the poacher seemed to be on the edge of tears “D-Don’t shoot me!”

Charles seemed to stop at those words, his jaw clenching while his hand squeezed the sawed shotgun hard in his grip, “Stand back Charles,I’ll get you some answers.” Arthur said, this time marching up to the man while Charles watched, his chest heaving violently. I felt bad, but I didn’t dare approach Charles, I don’t think touching would help him now. I just offered him a tight smile while I tried to muffle the sound of bones cracking as much as I could.

He didn’t say anything, I could see the muscles on his shoulder bunching up but he nodded at me, I'm not sure if he wanted to say he was fine or if he accepted my sympathy. I think it was the latter . My ears perked up when the man said they were paid by someone, to make it seem it was the natives who shot them instead. 

My eyebrows furrowed, letting Madeline gently ask Charles if he was alright while I approached Arthur, the man’s face doubled in size in different shades of purple and red, “Who paid you?” I held back Arthur’s fist before it connected to the man's face once more.

The only response was a whimper, the one eye that wasn’t swollen clenched in fear. I crouched by his side, “Hey, hey,” he let out a pained moan when I held his jaw, “Who paid you to do that? Who gave you that money?”

The man gulped, tears sliding down his face, “The lady asked a question,” Arthur snarled above him, “And I suggest ya answer it.”

“...I-It was...it was a man named Leonard H-Higgins.H-He ain’t from these parts, he works for someone else a-and asked us to shoot them.”

Leonard Higgins. 

Why did that name sound so familiar?

I knew Charles wanted nothing more for Arthur to kill the guy, but the latter just shoved the already beaten man away, warning him to never come back around these parts. I watch the man scramble back to his horse, breathing heavily then disappearing from our vision completely. 

Leonard Higgins.

Arthur seemed to noticed how my expression went from anger to confusion because he stared at me just as I kept looking at nothing, trying to recall why I knew that name. I shook my head then, it was probably nothing, I’ve met many Leonards over the years and I am probably mixing some memories. 

“Are ya alright?” Arthur asked, “Ya know that feller?”

“No. But the same sounded a bit familiar in some way.” I mutter, rubbing my neck as an act of uneasiness, I couldn’t be 100% sure of that though. Madeline looked at me from where she was talking to Charles, her eyebrows curving downwards in confusion but I waved my hand at her, telling her not to worry, not yet anyway. I could only let the thoughts swirl my mind while we made our way back to Horseshoe Overlook, the name kept repeating itself in my head like a ball being tossed by dogs, only to hit a dead end.

Nothing.

I am probably overreacting. It’s nothing. 

“Arthur!” Dutch’s deep voice called the moment we got back, the cowboy looking back at his mentor who was nearing the four of us, “Have you checked on Micah yet?”

I heard some chatter about Micah from around camp and from what I gathered, the ones that hated him less were Dutch and Bill. The girls hated him, Sean called him a ‘good for nothing horse turd’ under his breath while Arthur made no point in hiding his disdain for the man either. I know it has been a while since he was arrested in Strawberry, maybe a couple of weeks now? It seemed about that time since Arthur and Lenny got so drunk Dutch had to get the two out. 

Arthur held back a grunt, “I plan to,Dutch.” his jaw tensed up after saying that, that was the last thing he wanted to do it seemed.

“...He has a heart,Arthur,” Dutch tapped two fingers against his chest for emphasis, “A heart. He’s part of the family now, and we protect  _ our  _ family.”

While keeping myself busy giving Persephone a dried raspberry I watched by the corner of my eye while Arthur and Dutch talked, the tall cowboy not really focusing on his mentor while the latter seemed to give him a speech, Charles and Madeline joining me. The taller man’s lips twisted unpleasantly, he also wasn’t a huge fan of this ‘Micah’ guy as well so I dared to ask him quietly, “Has he been with you guys long?”

“Longer than me for a few months.” he replied, “He’s not liked by most of the camp.”

My lips purse in thought, “I see...I thought he’d been around for as long as Arthur, considering how Dutch talks about him.”

Charles frown deepened, I almost felt bad talking to him about it after what he had seen earlier that day, I almost told him to ignore my questioning but he replied, “Yeah, Hosea doesn’t like it either but Dutch...well, he doesn’t think too much on it.”

“...He must be quite special for Mr.Van der Linde to vouch for him,” Madeline said quietly, but I could see her light colored eyebrows knitting as if she couldn’t believe her own words, “Especially because he seems so...rude.” that made Charles chuckle quietly, muttering it was one way to put it and I could be wrong but I was sure Madeline blushed a bit.

“I am goin’ to get ‘im Dutch,” Arthur reassured, removing his hat to run a hand through the strands sitting atop his head, fingertips scratching the shaved underside “I’ll do it this week.” he didn’t seem like he wanted to, but his response made a smile part over Dutch’s lips, a friendly clap to the shoulder and the leader went back to his tent. Arthur looked over his shoulder back at us, I offered him a small smile that he weakly reciprocated, then made his way towards the stew Pearson had just finished.

It was already mid afternoon? Holy shit time goes by fast.

While in line to get the stew the name repeated itself in my head, I don’t know why I couldn’t just let it go. Leonard Higgins...Leonard....I frowned, pouring some of the stew on the tin plate before walking away, not really sitting down, simply standing while looking at nothing and eating. I am sure it was quite a vision for the others.

Especially an Irishman.

“Oi,” Sean poked my shoulder hard enough to snape me off my trance, “What are ye doin’ standin’? Sit down woman,” he ordered with his mouth full of dry bread, crumbs spitting out onto my black shirt, I simply wiped them away without much concern, half expecting Sean to leave me alone but oh, how naive I was, “Hey,” another poke, “Hey what’s goin’ on-ACk!” I clenched his index finger tight, the Irishman almost bent over when I twisted the digit, smirking before finally letting him go.

“Don’t poke me.”

“Don't break my finger??” 

“Oh please it wasn’t that bad,” my smile slowly disappeared from my face, “Sean, when we worked together, have we ever met Leonard Higgins?” he stopped rubbing the sore finger, looking back at me with a confused frown, “Its just...while we were out we met some poachers that said a Leonard Higgins ordered them to shoot bison and make it seem the natives did it instead.”

Sean shrugged, “I don’t remember anyone with that name, but he sounds like a pompous rat.” 

I had to admit, the name really made him sound unpleasant. 

“I guess so.” I say, finally making my way towards the logs where the rest of the camp was seated, looking around to find a space I could settle down, finally deciding to stay between Tilly and Madeline. The subject of Leonard Higgins dropped from my mind when I sat down, trying to keep up with that they were talking about before Mary-Beth joined us by taking Tilly’s side.

“Arthur is goin’ to go get Micah,” Mary-Beth whispered, looking over her shoulder to see the said cowboy hopping on the large Ardennés, her mouth furled in a frown, “I don’t know why Dutch keeps him here with us.”

Tilly groans in disgust, “Me neither, that man is horrendous. He’s a foul man.” her brown eyes move towards me an Madeline, “Don’t let him get under your skins, ladies. He enjoys tormentin’ other people.”

Madeline still had her spoon inside her mouth, popping it out with a question, “We’ve had our share of men trying to torment us...why is he so…” she paused, “Hated?”

Mary-Beth looked around, checking to see if Dutch was nearby no doubt, before lowering her voice, “He joined us a few months before Blackwater, he was the one who-” she bites her lower lip, “Who suggested it.”

I can’t help but harden my gaze. When I went back to Blackwater after a few months I was shocked to see the carnage. It had just been a few weeks but there was still blood staining the walls and the police force doubled near the entrance. I don’t truly know what happened, only what I’ve heard people say, rumors, but I do know a woman had died. Madeline’s soft ‘oh’ seemed to make the talk cease, no doubt the wounds were still fresh from that mess. It’s hard to put the blame on someone like that without full proof, just because he’s new doesn’t mean he knew what was going to happen right?

“We’ll be careful around him.” I say when I finish the stew, holding out my hand to pick the others’ plates, ignoring when they said I didn’t have to, already piling them up to walk back to Pearson’s wagon.

On the way, I saw Abigail and Mrs.Adler sitting next to each other, the black haired woman had her hands clasped on her lap while Mrs.Adler seemed to whisper something to her, I could hear ‘My Jakey’ leaving her lips and that still made my stomach churn, thinking he was dead...he was a good man. He didn’t deserve it. I offered them a tight lipped smile and a nod when they looked my way, only getting a response from Abigail. I wish there was a way to help somehow.

I sigh, pulling back my sleeves when I approach the bin where the dishes were washed, carefully cleaning each one, drying and setting them aside. I feel a tug on my pant leg, looking down to see Jack holding his plate, trying to reach the bin while standing on his tiptoes. My smile couldn’t be helped, “Need any help little man?” Jack nods, so I pick him up from under his armpits,holding him in front of the bin so he can place it inside, a soft ‘yay’ leaving his mouth and I almost burst at how cute he is.

“Thank you Miss Barbara.”

“You are very welcome,” I set him down gently, watching him run back to his mother, Abigail sends me a thankful smile before placing Jack in her lap. I wash his plate as well, quickly walking back when I’m done because I wasn’t going to do it for anyone else, don’t want them thinking that. I couldn’t help but look at the camp’s entrance, following the tracks of Arthur’s massive horse with a slight frown...I don’t know why, but my stomach is churning unsettlingly, as if something is going to happen. Something bad. 

I simply shrug...it was probably me overthinking, finally walking back to the girls and continue our chat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why I named this chapter like this but ITS TOO LATE NOW
> 
> anyway sorry for the lateness, got a little over my head BUT good news is that things will start GETTING INTERESTING *rubs my hands*
> 
> Comments and kudos make my day!! (but esp comments <3)


	11. A Fisher of Men ( and woman)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY NEW YEAR GUYS!!!
> 
> may 2021 be better :>
> 
> ENJOY THE CHAPTER COMMENTS AND KUDOS MAKE AN AUTHOR'S DAY

It wasn’t just a feeling.

Jesus Christ.

Arthur came back after two long days, covered in blood that ‘wasn’t his’ he told a very shocked Hosea, who came to meet him by the camp’s entrance. He barely reached Dutch’s tent before waving his arms around, spitting about how Micah massacrated Strawberry, shooting every single person without a care,bringing the lawmen.There was blood everywhere. 

My gut felt cold immediately , part of me however glad knowing both Harriet and Gus rarely stayed in town nowadays. But then again massacrating a town, a town that I knew it had good people, rarely had an understandable reason.

Dutch’s face pinched in a frown, but he didn’t give Arthur a straight answer, in his eyes I could see he wasn’t happy to know that. Shooting up a town, bringing authorities when they were on the run wasn’t a wise decision unless truly no other option was given. 

I only watched Arthur walk away to try and clean himself. I don’t know when my feet took me in his direction, but when I noticed I was staring at his back, perspiration and blood made the black shirt stick to his frame. He heaved out a sigh, unaware of my presence, it was clear what happened took a heavy toll on him. 

Water dripped down his face back into the barrel, his eyes widening a fraction when he noticed me “Miss Barbara,” he nodded, clearing his throat “can I help ya?”

I take in a breath, rubbing the back of my neck while I think of things to say. I knew people from there, not personally, but I’ve stayed around Strawberry often, some faces stood out more than others, “Just came to check on you.” he raised one eyebrow, removing his hat to run a wet hand through his hair, “And...well, see if you were okay.”

Arthur heaves out a sigh, placing one hand on his hip while his face turns to the water filled barrel, “Well, I ain’t happy, that’s for sure. Shoulda just left that son of a bitch there to rot if it wasn’t for Dutch. He ain’t nothin’ but trouble.” Micah wasn’t liked by most of the people in camp, saved for Bill maybe if you squint really hard, “Was lucky no one lived to follow me here.”

“Why isn't he with you?” I ask, leaning my shoulder against Pearson’s wagon, to which Arthur snorted.

“Said he’d bring a peace offerin’ or whatever he means by that.”

My lips pursed, somehow that line didn’t fall right with me, but then again I could just be upset because of what happened in Strawberry. I bit my lower lip, looking down at my boots while my hands slide inside my pockets, “You think he’s going to manage it?” Arthur shrugs, rubbing his face clean of blood, shaking his head to dry the water going down his face, using the back of his arm to clean off some of the moisture residing between his eyebrows. Arthur seems to notice my uneasiness because he stops to look at me with a confused gaze, to which I give him a grim smile, “I knew some people in Strawberry.”

His face drops immediately and I try to ease his worries, “No,no, nothing like family. I just went there quite often to visit some friends but I know they aren’t there right now.” I lean my lower back against Pearson’s wagon, crossing my arms below my bust “You don’t like him much, do you? Micah?”

“Like him?” Arthur scoffed, “He’s nothin’ but a waste of space. Brings nothin’ to camp, tries to stay out of the way and disappears for days with some shit excuse. I don’t know why Dutch keeps ‘im ‘round.”

Strange indeed. Dutch has been breathing down mine and Maddie’s necks ever since we joined so we could work with the camp, show some worth to him, a reason for us to stay. But I can’t explain what goes inside Dutch Van de Linde’s mind even if I tried. I offer Arthur a small smile, patting his bicep “If it’s any comfort I’m glad you are okay.” my hand remains in his arm, his eyes stare down at it and I quickly yank it back, clearing my throat, “Anyway,I’ll leave you to it.”

I hurry my steps back to where Madeline is sewing a shirt, Charles’ I believe, quickly making myself useful on sewing one of Javier’s jackets. Madeline looks up at me with a slight frown, “I’ve heard what happened.” she whispers, “...should we...go to Strawberry? To check?”

“I don’t think so.” I replied “At least...not now. Let the dust settle, I’ll try to send Gus and Harriett letters and...we’ll see.”After that silence takes over us, I’m too preoccupied with my own thoughts to listen to anything else.There was muttering about what happened in Strawberry, about what Micah did and they didn’t look pleased.

Considering everything we saw in the short time we’ve been here, it’d be understandable. They were scared, as much as they tried to hide it. Dutch can tell them it’ll be okay, exude confidence but somewhere deep in his mind he has his own doubts himself I’m sure. But as a leader he can’t let them see it. Let them know he has them.

I sigh through my nose, tugging the thread tight so the hole is shut before biting the thread off, finishing with a little knot. I stand up to walk towards Javier’s tent, the one he shared with Charles, placing the folded jacket atop his pillow. He was on guard duty today so I wouldn’t see him until late night. My fingers twitched, already trying to find something else to do, deciding it was as good a time as any to clean my guns until night time.

* * *

Three days passed since Strawberry, letters were sent and responses were received. I was glad to know Gus and Hariett were safe. They knew of what happened however and planned on staying away from the town for a while. My mind was so focused on reading the letter I barely noticed a tiny hand grabbed my finger, a smile forming over my lips before I even looked down to the big brown eyes staring back at me. Jack looked up at me with such an angelic smile I had to hold back the girlish squeal about to leave my mouth “Hello, Jack.”

“Miss Barbara, do you like fishing?” 

I blink in surprise, but smile nonetheless, “As matter of fact I do.” I crouch down in front of him, folding my arms over my knees, “Why you ask?”

Jack looks over his shoulder towards Arthur, who was currently holding Dust’s reins with his head dipped so I couldn’t read his expression. ‘Uncle Arthur is going to teach me how to fish!” the little boy tugged my sleeve, even if a bit unsure. Had Jack ever fished before?

My eyes softened and I looked back at Arthur, this time he’s staring at me, leaning back on a hitching post with his mouth in a thin line. Not angry, but definitively unsure of what he’d do. “Do you want to go with us?” Jack was tugging my sleeve harder in the direction Arthur was. 

I laugh while rising to my full height, letting him walk ahead of me while I get near Arthur, crossing my own arms with a soft smile, “If ‘uncle’ Arthur isn’t bothered by my presence.” he only scoffed slightly, biting back a smile and then rolling his eyes.

“Come on, the boy has been askin’ for ya to join since Abigail talked to me.” I sent Abigail a look, and the woman offered me a smile back before returning to her chores. My smile only widens, so I walk towards Persephone, slowly climbing over her saddle to look back at Arthur and Jack. 

I don’t know why but I feel  _ something  _ when I see Arthur, already perched up on Dust’s back, picking up little Jack one handed. I think it was because he was such a big man and was being so gentle, picking up such a tiny child so easily...well, it was interesting to say the least. He seemed to have a good relationship with Jack after all.

“Alright, hold on tight.” Arthur said to Jack who promptly held on Dust’s saddle. I followed the two in a gentle trot, deciding to keep myself at a distance for a little while before keeping up with them when they went down the hill.

Arthur and Jack talked back and forth, the little boy asking him things and Arthur answering the best he could. “You feelin’ better? I know you was a little sick.”

“Oh I’m fine.” Jack said. It was true, he came down with a fever a few days ago. 

“Yer a brave kid.” Jack’s eyes widened and I bit back a smile.

“So just like you!” he looked over his shoulder at Arthur who cleared his throat a little bit, almost uncomfortable by the boy’s words 

“Wel I don't know ‘bout brave...I ain’t much of a kid no more.Though your momma might disagree.” and under his breath, he added, “Her and a few women I guess...”

Jack tilted his head towards Arthur, then at me, “Miss Barbara, do you think uncle Arthur is a kid?” Arthur immediately sputtered something, trying to hide the cough of surprise. My own mouth parted open in shock and I couldn’t help but laugh, looking away in hopes the sudden laughter would dissipate into silence without success.

“Oh, I,” I chuckle, not being able to hold back another laugh at Arthur's exasperated look, “I don’t think so, he doesn’t look like a kid to me at all. I know he didn’t like me when we met but we came past that didn’t we Arthur?” he was looking at me by the corner of his eye, trying to hold back his own smirk and opting to clean his throat instead, eager to change the subject.

“I’m just talkin’ silly, Jack...it’s been a tough few weeks up in that snow.”

“I liked the snow.”

For a child, the concept of danger is still so minimal. Jack didn’t understand what happened and from what the girls told me it was almost like hell on Earth...or snow, for that matter. We trotted past the burnt town and my heart came up to my throat again, my gaze quickly moving back to the horizon, without noticing I ended up approaching Arthur who gave me a curious look. 

I didn’t know I was holding in a breath until I noticed the river becoming larger, my shoulders sagging visibly as the horses slowed the trot. I couldn’t help but look back to the burnt town, unconsciously clenching the reins. The amount of fire needed to destroy a town...I heard Arthur clear his throat, my gaze snapping back at his face while he pulled out the fishing rods from the saddle. His eyebrows pinched ever so slightly, asking me if I was alright without using his voice.

I nod, lifting my hand to let him know I am okay. I’ll have to be. Dust and Persephone watch us from afar as we make our way to the shore, with Arthur explaining everything to Jack while I watch it with my arms crossed. It was a sweet interaction, Arthur even got a fish that was ‘as small as you,Jack’ but Jack, like any child, got bored very quickly.

Arthur deflated but allowed Jack to do what he wanted, which was pick the red flowers not far from where we were. He watched Jack carefully, waiting until the little boy sat down by the sand to refocus on the fishing rod. Arthur noticed me watching with a small smile, then cleared his throat, “There’s a uh, extra rod in my saddle. If ya want to.”

Maybe it’d help ease my mind of what happened. I approach Dust carefully, patting her large neck to grab the extra rod, unfolding it in my hands and smiling when Arthur gives me a piece of cheese, “Thank you.” After hooking the bait, I throw it towards the water, a bit farther from Arthur’s while we stay side by side.

I notice Arthur fidgeting nervously by my peripheral, so I offer him a confused smile, “Everything okay?”

“Should be askin’ ya that.” he whispers, “Ya got real strange when we walked past that town.”

Ah. Of course. I suck in a breath, letting it flow by my mouth in a sigh, “It’s...nothing.” he didn’t buy it by the way he scoffed under his breath, “I can’t...I’m not comfortable talking about it right now, Arthur.”

“Well, I’m just askin’ cause ya seemed...scared.” he measured his words, licking his lips while watching the water still, “Like the last time. When ya were mutterin’ ‘bout a fire.” I tense up again, the hold I had on the rod falters for a bit but I try to cover it by faking a cough. The tears are already prickling. 

“Yes,well,” I clear my throat when I notice my voice cracks a little bit, “I...I just, well it’s sad isn’t it? Seeing a town...completely destroyed.” 

Arthur hummed but decided to not prod it any further, not sure if he believed my reasoning or if he noticed I wouldn’t tell him more about it. We continued the fishing, the little woven basket by our feet slowly filling to the brim. I sneak a look at Jack who seems very concentrated in his little world, back hunched while he fiddles with the flowers by his lap, “Why isn’t Jack’s father with us?”

Arthur snorts, “‘Cause he’s a good for nothin’.”

I blink a bit, “John doesn’t like the joys of fatherhood?” I ask, trying to humor him but his reply leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

“He doesn’t like bein’ a father, screams ‘round the kid ain’t his.” his voice lowers as he continues, “Then Abigail screams at him and then runs to me cause apparently I’m the perfect nursemaid.”

“I don’t know,Jack seems to like you.” 

He frowns, “Yeah, Abigail said the same thing. Dunno why tho, there ain’t much likable ‘bout me.”

My lips downturn for a brief moment, then I smile again, “Well, I think there are some qualities you possess that could be good for Jack,” he arches an eyebrow at me as if asking ‘explain’ “You care for your people, you know how to take care of yourself and deep inside this rough exterior of a man, you have a good heart.” I playfully poke his shoulder.

Arthur snorts, dipping his head, “Ya really don’t know me,Miss Barbara.”

“Well, I know enough.” I continue, already cutting him short, “If you didn’t had such a heart you wouldn’t be here, waiting for Jack to finish whatever he’s doing so you two could go back. You’d fish some, then grab your things and pick Jack up like a sack of potatoes, not caring if he finished or not. And from my point of view you are doing something great for this little boy’s mind, especially since his father is...currently absent.” I look back at the water, my eyes softening, “Children need examples, especially good ones so they can become functional adults. Whatever Jack decides to do in his future, he will always remember what you did for him.”

Arthur stares at me in silence and I can’t help but feel the blush rise to my cheeks, I guess I said too much. He clears his throat then, “I’ll think ‘bout it.” that makes my smile widen, even if Arthur didn’t want to admit it. He looks down at the basket, the fish almost falling out of it since it became full a few minutes ago, “I think this is good enough.”

“I agree.” I hand him back the rod, wiping my sweaty hands on the back of my pants, the two of us setting the basket by Dust’s hooves. Arthur starts to walk towards Jack while I separate the fish between our horses, making sure to wrap them in some cloth so the smell wouldn’t stink the saddles. Thankfully, it’s a quick process, so I wander to where Arthur and Jack were, with the latter holding a flower necklace for Arthur to see, “Wow,Jack, that’s beautiful!”

“I made it for momma!” he’s so proud, it’s adorable, “I’ll make one for you too,Miss Barbara!”

My cheeks hurt from smiling so much at this adorable boy, “I’d love to,” by the corner of my eye I see movement before a voice breaks the silence. 

“What a fine young man...” the man says, with one silent following him with a shotgun on his shoulder. “And in such complex circumstances.Arthur,isnt it?Arthur Morgan?”

Arthur rises to his feet while I stay behind, watching carefully. My hand twitches by my side and I remember I left my pistol back on Persephone. Shit. Jack makes a movement to step beside Arthur, only for him to stand in front of him. I made sure to stay right behind Jack, my frown deepening. The suits, the hats...those were Pinkertons. While Arthur has a ‘talk’ with the man, I place my hand on Jack’s shoulders, “What’s happening Miss Barbara?”

I try to force a smile on my face, to not scare him, “Don’t worry, sweetie. Uncle Arthur will deal with that.” I don’t want Jack to be scared but at the same time I couldn’t hide the apprehension in my body. The two men approach, slowly, the one who appears to be the leader keeps on talking about Arthur and Dutch, especially how Arthur was an orphan that joined Dutch’s gang at an early age.

“We know a lot about you.”

“Do you?”

Agent Milton has his hands on his belt while he continues, “You are a wanted man,Mr. Morgan.There’s five thousand dollars for your head alone.” 

My eyes widen. That’s a lot of money, a whole lot of money. And Arthur seemed to agree, since he offered to turn himself in instead. I would have laughed if I wasn't trying to hold back any noise, but held my head high when Agent Ross met my gaze, the fingers near his shotgun’s trigger flicking ever so slightly. Agent Milton finally noticed me, tilting his head to have a better look, “You I don’t know.” his eyes seemed to follow around my face, trying to piece back information no doubt, “You are new.”

I feel my jaw clench as I hold back a reply, thankful when Arthur straightens himself more so he’s hiding me from Milton’s gaze himself. The agent paused, looking back at Arthur as he explained his proposition: they want Dutch. And Arthur replies he hadn’t seen him in forever.

“That so?” Milton begins, removing his hat to wipe the sweat away “Because I heard,a guy fitting his description robbed a train belonging to Leviticus Cornwall up near Granite Pass.” my body becomes rigid at that name, but I remain silent, simply looking at the back of Arthur’s head. 

“Oh ain’t that a little, old fashioned nowadays?” Arthur asks, fiddling with his fishing rod as if trying to ease the question.

“Apparently not.” Milton stares for a few seconds, then lift his hands up, taking more steps closer to us“Listen,this is my offer Mr.Morgan: bring in Van der Linde and you have my  _ word _ , you won’t swing.” I wanted to laugh. As if his word was worth anything right now. His eyes move to me again, “As for the Miss. I am sure a lady like you would know right from wrong.”

But I still keep silent, it’d be better to be quiet and let Arthur resolve this. He didn’t like how close Milton was getting, straightening himself a bit, “Oh,I ain’t gonna swing anyways, agent um…”

“Milton.”

“You see, I haven’t done anythin’ wrong aside from not play the game to your rules-”

“Spare me the philosophy lesson,I’ve already heard it.” Milton makes sure to appear as nonchalant as ever, “From Mac Callander.”

Arthur’s body becomes tense at the name, a name I’ve heard the others saying often. “Mac Callander?” Arthur repeats, as if testing the waters, as if asking if he heard it right. 

“He was pretty shot up by the time I got to him, so really it was more of a mercy killing.” I couldn’t believe this man, saying that as if he was talking about the weather, “Slow, but merciful.”

I jump in surprise, holding Jack close to me when Arthur tosses the fishing rod to the ground, the click of a shotgun being aimed right at his face appearing louder than his own voice, “You enjoy bein’ a rich man’s toy do you?!” he was ready to pummel Milton, completely ignoring Ross’ shotgun right by his head. 

“I enjoy society,flaws and all.” he’s not scared, at all, of Arthur. He keeps his eyes on Arthur, as if telling him to try something, “You people venerate savagery and you will die-” he clenches his own fist, “ _ savagely _ . All of you-”

“Oh,we’re all goin’ to die, Agent.” Arthur’s voice sounds deeper, almost guttural, he’s just waiting an opening to do something.

“Some of us sooner than others,” Milton snarls back, turning on his heel back to his horse while his companion keeps his gun aimed up, “Good day Mr.Morgan. Miss.” Arthur mutters a goodbye that wasn’t meant to be heard at all, seething with rage.

Agent Ross finally lowers his shotgun, “Enjoy your fishing,kid. While you still can.” I want to spit at him for daring to send a look towards Jack, he doesn't talk anything back to me but I can feel he thinks the same thing. Jack gets free from my grasp- I see Arthur’s hand reaching for his pistol before he notices Jack stepping forward.

“Who are they?” Jack asks as the two men hop on their horses and ride away. Arthur places both of his hands on Jack’s head, quickly moving his gaze away by telling him they are no one. No one at all. I look back at the fresh hoof prints trail that lead to the law agents drifting away from us, my frown returning. Strange.

I notice Arthur keeps looking at the direction they disappear every now and again while he gathers Jack’s things to put them back in Dust’s rump. I don’t blame him, since I am doing the same thing while climbing back on Persephone. We both share a look, a look that I am not sure if it’s meant to be reassuring or threatening.

We trot back a bit faster towards camp, Arthur choosing a different route this time, longer and farther than the one we used. The fact that Milton could’ve seen the camp was eating me up inside, and we didn’t know if he did that. “Why did you lie about where Uncle Dutch is?” Jack asked finally, making Arthur grimace a bit.

“Because...well because those were disagreeable men and I don’t want them to hurt ‘im.” I could see Jack nod, albeit confused, before another question popped up: this one about Mac Callander. I don’t know much about him, besides the fact he was missing or still in jail as Jack asked...but now,well. I saw Arthur’s mind work a reply trying to see how to explain to a child how a murder happen without telling it’s murder.

“No,I don’t, er,” he pauses to swallow his saliva, ‘Think so...I hope he’s just fine where he is.” he fixes his hat, wanting to place it on his chest respectfully but choosing not to since Jack was right there, sitting in front of him. “Like I said, don’t worry ‘bout them. World’s full of disagreeable men...thats why you got all of us.To protect you from folk like them.” 

Jack looked up at Arthur, then at me, “And miss Barbara and miss Madeline too? They wanna protect me from them?”

“Of course Jack,” I smile, trying to show him a bit of happiness to ease his little heart, “We sure do.” 

Arthur’s body is shaking, maybe with anger and adrenaline, but he lets out a breath by my response, quickly changing the subject to Jack’s flower necklace, then the fishing, then the book Jack wanted. Anything to prevent his little head from keeping the memories. We enter camp with Abigail waiting for us, quickly greeting Jack and Arthur, happy to see her son well “Did you thank Uncle Arthur and Miss Barbara?” 

“No need,” Arthur whispers, giving Jack his rod, “We had a good time.”

Abigail knows something is wrong by our faces, so I try to cover it by fixing my hair, moving my eyes away. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothin’, we just...met some folk.” he licks his lips, pointing to Dutch’s tent “We’d better go speak to Dutch.” Abigail wasn’t happy but offered us a smile, thanking us again before she and Jack walked off.

Arthur didn’t wait for me when he went ahead to Dutch’s tent, so I quickly followed, catching him explaining what happened to the gang leader. “A feller named Milton and erm…” he snapped his fingers trying to recall the name so I took it as a chance to announce my presence.

“Ross,” I said, looking down at Dutch, “Milton and Ross.” 

“Milton and Ross.” Arthur nods, thanking me.

Dutch blinks, looking at the two of us, giving us a shrug “And?”

“ _ And _ they are employees of the Pinkerton Detective Agency,” Arthur says through his teeth, trying to keep his voice down while Dutch moves his book aside while Arthur paces around the small area “And they know ‘bout the train and they know we’re here.” at that Dutch rose to his feet, cornering Arthur and myself, I have to hold back from leaning when he looms over me.

“Were you followed back here?” Dutch’s eyes moved between mine and Arthur’s, the latter letting him know the Agents just knew we were near the area but not exactly where. I watched Dutch walk out of his tent while Arthur continued, telling him they were looking for him, especifically him.

“They offered me my freedom om exchange they did.” Arthur says, watching Dutch look at the camp’s entrance.

“Why didn’t you take it?” he asks Arthur, still not looking at him. 

“Huh, very funny.” Arthur replies.

Then Dutch’s dark eyes focus on me, “And you Miss Barbara?” I freeze, furrowing my eyebrows, “Why didn’t  _ you  _ take it?”

I can’t help but let my jaw fall open, then clack it shut, “I don’t have a reason to,” I measure my words carefully, “I am not that stupid.” Betraying Dutch Van der Linde under his own nose was an idiotic thought, it surprised me he would question something like that. But what surprised me was that Arthur came in my defense, stepping in front of me just like he did back at the river.

“Dutch,Barbara ain’t say anythin’, nor plans to,” he looks back at me, a mix of worry and a warning if I ever thought about doing that to them, I just sigh, looking back at him with my arms crossed, “Well...what do we do now?” 

Dutch paves back and forth for a while, hands on his hips, his lips rolling inside his mouth while he thinks about it, scratching his temple then stopping in front of Arthur again to give his answer, “I say we do nothin just yet.” that wasn’t the answer we were expecting “They’re just tryin’ to scare us into doing something stupid.”

While I agreed in parts, I held back the part where I wanted to say that idea was stupid. They were too close to camp, way too close for a coincidence. But alas, Dutch was the leader so he knew what would be best for them, and myself and Maddie I suppose. He tells us to stay calm, then walks away with a shadow of worry dancing over his features.

I send Arthur a look, he’s not pleased by it but his face seems a smidge relaxed. Dutch calmed him down a bit it seemed. I sigh, approaching him and patting his arm, “If its any consolation, I liked fishing with you.”

He snorts, a small smile forming over his lips before he looks down at me “At least ya learnt somethin’.” he nods in Jack’s direction with a somber look then, “I didn’t want him to see that.”

“Me neither, but we couldn’t have known the Pinkertons would show up like that.”I pause, looking around for Dutch and nearing Arthur when I noticed he’s far away. “I just...I think we just stay vigilant. For now, it’s too much of a coincidence.” he looks so tired, but he nods “...You should rest, Arthur, really. You had some long days.” from Strawberry to Pinkertons I’m surprised he’s still standing. Not to mention he barely stayed in camp.

“I’m fine.” he waved his hand at me, even trying to appear he was alright.

“No, you aren’t...take a nap. We have enough food for today. Just...go okay? Don’t be so stubborn.” I playfully shove his shoulder towards his wagon, Arthur gives me a dirty look but smiles nonetheless, chuckling quietly when I yank the hat from his head to swat at him.

“Alright, alright, Im’ goin’. Jesus, woman.” he says, grabbing the hat from my hand, “Just a five minutes nap. Is all I need.”


	12. Welcome to Lemoyne

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While I love all of the game I have to say I adore Clemens Point and the Lemoyne quests a lot. So EXPECT some action happening in the Lemoyne Arc, I'm super excited (especially because the Valentine chapters were kinda meh to me)
> 
> Also, comments are the author's fuel. If you enjoy my story please leave a little comment! Even if its an emoji, it truly helps us when we work, especially with creativity and inspiration :)

“And then,” I fold the piece of paper over the tip of my finger, watching Jack repeat the motion, “You bend it like this.” 

His little tongue came out in concentration as he did what I did, having a bit of trouble since his hands were much smaller than mine, “Like this?” it was a bit wobbly, the paper didn’t fully enter the folded ‘pocket’ but it stayed in one piece.

“Hmhm, very good!” I use my nail to press the sides, making a straight edge, “And there you go, you have a little star!” 

Jack needed a bit longer to make it the shape he wanted, but he let out a huff of pride when he held his own, his little smile widening the more he looked, “I did it Miss Barbara!” He set it aside on top of the other paper figures: a flower,a heart and a horse. Abigail walked up from where she sat, leaning down over Jack with a small smile. “Look momma! Miss Barbara is teaching me paper figures!”

“Oh they are so nice, Jack!” she looks at me with a soft smile, “I had no idea ya knew how to do that,” she crouches down to pick the little horse, turning it in her hands, “I don’t think I’d ever be able to teach Jack any of this.”

“It’s a good way to pass the time.” I begin, making the next figure, pausing to explain the steps to Jack, “I had a friend who liked doing this when she wasn’t busy, she taught me one night.” I still remember me and Gwendolyn sitting next to one another in the brothel’s kitchen, with her folding colorful paper into different things and her strange accent rolling off her tongue as she instructed me. “I thought it’d be nice for Jack to learn something new. It has been a while since I actually sat down and did this, so I thought it was a good opportunity.”

Abigail smiled, sitting next to Jack with a soft gaze, one of her hands gently combing through his hair, “I ‘ppreciate it. I know it's been hard for y’all lately, you and Madeline but...if it helps I’m glad the two of yous joined. Even if it was a surprise.”

“Not only for you.” I admit, “I thought Dutch would just kick us out.” 

“He saw you two had somethin’. He’s like that, he knows how to read and understand people.” she leans back on her arms a bit, sighing through her nose, looking around the camp with a slight frown. I arch my eyebrow at her, not wanting to ask what was wrong and worrying little Jack. “It’s just...John and Arthur went for a job,somethin’ he didn’t explain to me ‘bout...he never does.” 

My lips downturn as I look back to my figure, “Do you love him?” she looks at me in surprise, “John?”

“...I...I do but…” she lets out another sigh, heavier this time, “I don’t understand him, he’s always...complainin’ ‘bout us, bout-” she quick glances at Jack without mentioning his name, “I don’t think it’s fair.”

“Because it isn’t.” I say, “If he’s not present you shouldn’t have to wait for him. Or doing his things or sewing his clothes. If he doesn't care, then neither should you. I wasn’t able to talk to John just yet, he usually sneers at me.”

Abigail chuckles, her smile slowly returning, “You say it as if it’s easy, to kick him like that.”

“It should be,” I finally finish the little frog, smiling at my creation, “There you go,Jack,” I place the finished frog by his feet while he still struggled with his own, “You did really good today.” he cups all the figures with his hands, trying to carry all of them back to the tent, thanking me excitedly, leaving me and Abigail alone. I rest my elbows on my knees, interlacing my fingers together, “He’s a good boy.”

“He is.” she looks back at the tent where Jack is currently playing with the figures “I just wish…” a pause, Abigail licks her lips, fearful of continuing her thought, “I just wish he has an easier life than we do.”

My lips turn up in a sympathetic smile, tapping her knee comfortingly, “You are doing what you can.” I rise to my feet with a grunt, tapping the back of my legs to wipe the blades of grass sticking to my pants. I offer a hand to Abigail, she takes with a smile, so I pull her up. “Dutch isn't in camp today?” I was finally noticing Miss O’Shea looking absolutely disgruntled and alone inside their shared tent.

“No, he went to Valentine with Strauss.” Abigail explains, following my gaze towards Molly, “Don’t bother with her, she’s always like this.”

“Alone?”

“Snobby.”

A soft ‘ah’ leaves my mouth while I dig my hands in my pants pockets, “I don’t know,I haven’t had the chance to talk to her.” I say, watching the Irishwoman pat her face with powder, “I don’t have a formed opinion yet.”

Abigail chuckles, crossing her arms, “Well, when she acts up with ya, don’t be mad we were right.” she waves her hand, turning on her heel to go sit by Jack. I clicked my tongue against my cheek, before walking towards Hosea and Madeline, the two sitting in front of the snuffed fire pit. 

He was reading her book, or at least what she started.

“Afternoon.” I nod, taking my place on the chair to their left, “How is Hosea liking your book,Maddie?”

Madeline smiled, her dimples showing “Mr.Matthews has been giving me tips,” she begins, playing with a loose strand of hair, one that wasn’t fixed on the bun atop her head, “But I think he likes it.”

“You are very talented, Miss Madeline. Your book has potential of becoming a bestseller,” Hosea’s words made Madeline brighten up, her eyes shining as she looked back and forth between the two of us. I just smirk at her. “I will definitely want to have one of the first copies.”

“Oh you will,Mr.Matthews!-”

“As long as you call me Hosea, dear. You are making me feel old.”

Under all that white powder covering her face, I could see the red blush adorning her cheeks already. Madeline dips her head, nods and whisper “Yes Mr. Mat-I mean,Mr.Hosea.” Hosea laughs, patting the top of her head fondly, gently closing the manuscript shut and handing it back to her.

Hosea sucks in a breath, looking at the camp’s entrance, “They are late.” I blink, looking at him in confusion, “John,Arthur,Dutch and Strauss, they left-” he pulls out his pocket watch, the lines in his forehead becoming more prominent with worry, “Hours ago.”

I bite my lower lip, looking down at my hands, “I’m sure they just ran through some complications, they’ll be back soon enough.” Hosea hummed, not convinced, “Would you...like if I went to Valentine and checked? I don’t have any more chores to do after all.”

The old con-man sighed with a small smile, “No, it is fine.I’m probably exaggerating after all. You can be right, they probably ran into complications.”

Or I could be horribly wrong and they could be hurt. 

I didn’t like how that made my stomach sink with fear.

“But I’m glad you and Arthur seem to be gettin’ along now.” Hosea smiles, something glinting in his eyes, a mirth you’d see in someone who is planning something big, “He seems more at ease with ya.”

“I don’t blame him,Hosea. After all...we were…” I measure my words, “Intruding,in a way. I’m just glad we are able to talk at least, I don’t like avoiding people I have to live with.”

Hosea knocks his knuckles against his thigh, still smiling as if he knew something I didn’t, “I understand, at least the two of yous are managing. I don’t think I’ve seen Arthur smile that much in a while now.” 

While that did make me relieved I couldn’t help but feel like Hosea is adding something under the surface. Something I still can’t grasp yet. “Oh?” I can’t help but say, genuinely curious “Is that right?” 

“Yes, I think the last time Arthur smiled that much cause of a woman he was tryin’ to marry her.” 

I pause.

Then I blink. 

And my face flames up 

“Hosea, I don’t think there’s anything remotely amorous between me and Arthur,” the back of my brain buzzed as if disagreeing with me “We barely know each other and are just now becoming friends.” 

Madeline watched the conversation with a hand in front of her lips, trying to hold back a giggle. Hosea rubbed his chin, as if thinking about a response when he laughs softly, leaning closer to pat my knee “Don't mind me,dear. Just musings of an old romantic fool. You are right.” Why do I feel he’s not being serious when he says that “Perhaps my eyes are playing tricks on me.” 

“Perhaps.” I repeat, trying to understand why the idea of me and Arthur together makes my heart thump harder. It’s impossible. I barely know anything about him, even if he is an attractive man, I still should be able to learn more about him if we-I mean if there was a chance to- why am I _thinking_ about _this_?? 

Noises make the three of us look back towards the entrance before we could continue our chat, voices mingling with one another, Charles shouting Miss Grimshaw’s name and the sound of horses huffing and puffing back in. We rise from our seats, me and Madeline following Hosea, only to see Dutch and John sweating bullets, dirty and holding a wounded Strauss in their arms, “Dutch!” Hosea shouts, “What happened??”

Dutch groans, setting Strauss down against a tree so Miss Grimshaw could take a look on him, “Complications.” he said, wiping some of his hair back, “Leviticus Cornwall showed up.”

My body turns cold. He’s here? In Valentine? “Is...is he-”

“Dead? No, bastard ran off after grabbing Strauss and John as hostages.” his jaw ticks in annoyance, “We were set up.”

The other people around camp started to get closer, asking Dutch’s questions but I can’t help but notice they are one member less, “Where’s Arthur?” 

Dutch looks over his shoulder, to the camp’s entry, chest still puffing as he regained his breathing, “He is comin’.” his eyes turn steely, walking to his tent after ordering Miss Grimshaw to help Strauss up, completely ignoring Molly when she tried to talk to him. My lips curled into a frown, my gut turned cold.

‘ _If I had gone to Valentine earlier,I could’ve seen him.’_ I thought, _‘I could’ve shot him.’ i_ t’d be stupid to try and run to Valentine, he’s probably miles away from this area, hell he might even be in another state, he has the money to disappear. I don’t know why I’m angry at myself, for not going there, not stepping up and offering to see if they were okay. Hosea is talking next to me but I don’t hear his words, my eyes locked on the horizon, I don’t even feel when he touches my shoulder. 

“Barbara,” he begins, “Dear, you are shakin’.”

“H-huh?” 

I look back down at my hands to see they were, indeed, trembling violently. I just hold my hands under my armpits then, clearing my throat, “S’ nothing.” I whisper because I don’t think my voice can be louder. Hosea leaves me alone then, patting my back gently before he makes his way to Dutch’s tent. I remain in the same spot, staring at nothing.

He was here. Minutes away. I could’ve ended this, I could’ve ended this. 

But I didn’t.

My body feels heavy, so heavy I have to lean against a tree to take a breath in, rubbing my face with my hands, breathing in deeply against the palms. I can feel the flame of anger slowly turning smaller, until it becomes as small as a match, barely warming my hands. I barely have time to flinch when I hear horse trotting again, this time from a very known Ardennes. Arthur hopped off Dust’s back, shaking his head, possibly to refocus, then he looks right at me.

“Ya alright?” I accept him worrying, but I can’t help but feel relieved to see he’s still alive.

“Im’ fine.” I clear my throat “Just...Dutch told us what happened.”

Arthur’s eyes darkened and his jaw was set, but he didn’t say anything, “I gotta talk to him, is he inside?” I nod, watching him walk past me without daring to stop. He smells of gunpowder, mud, there’s caked dirt ingrained in his boots and his black shirt has specks of brown and red. Must’ve been an intense shootout.

It’s not hard to figure out Dutch is already trying to find us another place to stay, he and Hosea were talking quite loudly from the tent. I wouldn’t think staying would be an option either, especially considering the Pinkerton encounter, which made me really think there was more than coincidence in this story. 

Miss Grimshaw is already telling people to pack up, even before Dutch says anything, but I suppose she just knows. Small things first, then the wagons. I approach Tilly, helping her with her things when I hear Arthur and Dutch talking. Something about a letter from Micah, about Dewberry Creek. My eyebrows furrow, that’s in Lemoyne. That’s not far from where Scotty lived either. 

Lemoyne was the next stop apparently. Arthur calls Charles, the two of them already climbing on their horses to scout ahead while Dutch comes out of his tent, “Everyone! We must start packing everything, and fast, for when Arthur and Charles clean the area for us so,” he claps his hands once with a smile, almost as if what happened minutes ago was lost in his mind “Let’s get on with it!”

Going to Lemoyne meant two things for me: I had to see Scotty and I had to see Maggie. I know she’ll sniff me the moment I set foot there and will no doubt drag me by the ear if I don’t meet her soon. I’ll also have to check everything with Cripps. And help with camp as well.

The anger I felt earlier was gone now, as much as I wanted to end Leviticus then in Valentine, it’d only bring trouble for the camp, even more trouble. Rationality settled in with the adrenaline going down to a pinch, plus helping around camp was a good distraction.

* * *

Within minutes, under Grimshaw’s looming shadow over us, everything is packed and the wagons are ready to go. We were just sitting around, waiting for either Charles or Arthur to show up and lead us forward. 

Madeline sits next to me atop of an old trunk filled with clothes, clasping her hands together between her knees, “Can I ask you a question,Barbara?,” I hum positively, leaning back on my hands to see her better, noticing Madeline averts my gaze to pluck with the back of her gloves, “I...well...when do you know you are in love?”

I blink twice, completely astounded by that question, “What?”

“I...I think I am in love.”

Of all the things I thought I’d hear today, at the present time, this wasn’t even in the realm of possibilities, “I…” I lift a hand to stop her from talking because my brain can understand whats going on, closing my eyes when I repeat the words inside my head, “You are in love?” she nods, appreciating I was being quiet, so no one would snoop on us talking. 

Madeline smiles shyly, fiddling with her fingers, “I...I believe so yes, what I feel for…” she clears her throat, “... _this person_ , I’ve never felt before in my life. And in such a short time too...but I do not know if he feels the same.”

I’m still digesting her words, my eyes move from her face to the ground, I don’t want to appear disbelieved by Madeline because she’s my friend and the last thing I want is to hurt her feelings...but this was a shock. “I...well shit,Maddie I…” my tongue moistens my lips as I try to elaborate a sentence, Madeline looking at me expectantly, “I think...maybe, you should wait before saying anything because love can be...complicated.”

“Yes,I do know. I just...wanted to tell you.”

“Is he,” I look around surreptitiously, “From camp?” she nods, “Is he around?” 

Madeline blushes more, the crimson appearing muted underneath the thick layer of white powder on her face, “He left to find a better area for camp...with Arthur.”

For a moment my stomach felt like sinking. I thought she’d say Arthur was the one she was in love with- which is dumb, because I don’t have to have these types of feelings about him. There’s nothing romantic between us at all, Absolutely not. My eyes widen however when she finishes talking, my shoulders feeling lighter when Arthur is not the one she is attracted to.

“You mean it’s C-”

“Charles!” Dutch’s voice interrupted me, coming to meet up with Charles halfway to the entrance. He slides out of Taima, telling Dutch about what had happened: how Dewberry Creek was too dangerous, that he and Arthur found something better. It was all Dutch needed to hear, slipping his pinkies inside his mouth to whistle loudly “Let’s get to moving,everyone!”

I look back at Madeline, her eyes still stuck on Charles, following him when he climbs up the wagon alongside Dutch. Okay, it was adorable, I had to admit. I only hoped Charles has the same feelings for Maddie, I know they didn’t really talk that long. 

Persephone stomps her hoof on the ground hard, impatient for me to climb on the saddle and lead her out of the area. The amount of male horses passing by made her uneasy, so I let Miss Grimshaw know I’d be near the back of the wagons, keeping an eye out for any trouble while we traveled. 

The roads we took were distant from the ones near Valentine, for a good reason considering the law was currently looking for Dutch and the others, grass grew in some places, rabbits ran around when the wagons rolled in. It was obvious this area wasn’t used for traffic for a long time. By my left I see a family of deers: a stag standing between his mate and their little fawn, watching us traveling by intently. The stag even dared a few steps, keeping a safe distance from us obviously, but curious about the movement, his dark eyes following the wagons until he was satisfied we were far away enough.

Turn a left here, a right there, Dewberry Creek came into view which meant we were already in Lemoyne. Javier looked up from the back of the wagon, he was right in front of me, “ _This_ was the place Micah wanted us to camp?” The disgust on his voice was obvious, I couldn’t help but laugh when he rolled his eyes, “Why am I not surprised.”

I look at the dry creek, noticing one lonely coyote staring at me, sitting stop a small earth hill. Strange, at first glance I thought it was a wolf cub because it was bigger than the other coyotes I saw, with a black coat too, something that I’ve never seen before. I was afraid he’d try to attack the horses, but he stayed put, simply watching me and apparently, only me. I looked down at myself, fearing I had some sort of food hanging out I didn’t see, patting my legs to check.

By the time my gaze returned, the coyote was gone. I furrow my eyebrows in confusion, but decide to let it slide. Animals could be curious, and didn't mean they were going to attack us at all. I still had my hand on my holster in any case.

We had to leave the roads then, grass taking its place underneath the wheels and hooves, I could hear people talking about the area. I look up when the trees start to surround us, the smell of water entering my nose. What’s this place’s name again? Scotty mentioned it to me once. My mouth parts in surprise when I see a lake, an actual lake, coming into view. It was huge, the trees lessened near the lake shore exposing an almost serene vision of another small island not too far from us.

I pulled Persephone far from the rest of the wagons when they halted to a stop, dropping out of her back to approach Dutch and Arthur, my eyes still taking over the new scenery. This place is really pretty, maybe prettier than Horseshoe Overlook was. 

“Well I don’t know where the hell we are,” Dutch began, placing a cigar between his lips, “But we are going to make the best of it.”

That was when the name returned: Clemens Point, this was the name Scotty told me. “Its called Clemens Point,” I say, almost regretting when Dutch slowly turns to me, Arthur following the movement, “I uh...my friend told me about this place.”

“Your friend...Miss Scotty?” Dutch questions

“The one and the same.”

“So you’ve been in this area before, Miss Barbara?” Dutch made a sweeping motion around the place, partially turning his torso “You know this place?”

“Not...this place specifically, but I’ve been to Lemoyne.” because of Maggie most of the time, and some other activities I had to do for cash, “For a short while that is, nothing more than weeks.”

“Ya never said ya been to Lemoyne,” Arthur murmured, and I offer him a shrug.

“I don’t know how it’d be pertinent to the whole situation, like I said, I never stay here long,” because besides Maggie and Scotty, this place has nothing I enjoy.

Dutch took a drag from his cigar, his lips curling up into a small smile as he blew the smoke out, “Well, I’d love to hear what this place has to offer,Miss Barbara. But let’s unpack first, then we talk.” and at that he turned on his heel and left me and Arthur by ourselves. I rub my arm, almost regretting saying something because it felt like I was hiding something from them which I wasn’t. They just didn’t ask me.

“So,” Arthur holds his belt, cocking his hip when one of his legs bended in a casual manner, “Ya been ‘round everywhere then.”

I shrug again, “I had a job that made me move a lot.” I sigh, running my hand through my bangs then down my braid, “And then, well, then stuff happened.”

“Ya ain’t hidin’ anythin’ from us are ya?”

Ah, great, back to suspicion.And here I thought we were getting along so well, “Like what? I have my own problems and things to resolve but I’d never let anything get near this camp or _your_ people.” I didn’t want to snap at him like that but I really hated his tone, “So don’t get your cowboy pants in a twist.” 

“Well, ‘scuse me from askin’ ‘bout what ya did before.”

“You aren’t asking for curiosity,” I explain, crossing my arms to glare at him, “You are accusing with the disguise of curiosity so you can get information out of me without being downright rude.”

We glare at each other for a while, until Arthur sighs, throwing his hand in the air and walking away, muttering to himself. I frown more, scoffing to myself while turning the opposite way, helping Lenny -more like grabbing the box from his hands before he could tell me no- and taking it to the center of the camp.

Which reminded me of contacting Maggie when the dust settled, I know I haven’t been around much since last time and I know how she can get if I take too long. 

As much as I hated Lemoyne, I couldn’t help but sigh when the wet breeze touches my face, almost as if caressing me. It relaxes me a little, my muscles no longer tense from my ‘talk’ with Arthur. Huh, talk, right. He was ready to interrogate me again...I really hated when he did that,especially considering how much at ease Hosea said he felt around me.

I completely ignored the last part of Hosea’s comment. The one about marriage. I don’t think Arthur would ever have those feelings for me, not that I have them either, especially considering how he acted a few minutes ago. It’d be silly, we are...acquaintances. I think that'd be the right word, not friends yet but close enough to sit down and chat.

I don’t think that situation will change for a while either.


	13. Hard Headed Woman

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *does a little dance* WE BEGIN AND IM EXCITEDDD
> 
> I wasn't joking when the Clemens Point arc was my favorite <3 (also i found an AMAZIN song list that will help naming some of the chapters like this one )
> 
> Hard Headed Woman - Elvis Presley
> 
> u w u 
> 
> btw if you didn't play RDO, you are able to get missions from Sadie and Jake. Its super fun.

I don’t think I’ve slept this good since I’ve joined the gang. After setting up camp in Clemens Point -something that lasted almost the whole afternoon too- and having  _ delicious  _ dinner with what was left of chicken and vegetables and little to no salt, I barely remember making my way to Persephone, nor saying good night to people. I completely blacked out.

And woke up seeing the sky in shades of lilacs and pinks, the sound of water splashing on a shore making me smile. I remain lying down but stretch my arms above my head, groaning quietly as to not wake up anyone, although I could see some people already up in about, especially by the smell of coffee in the air.

Hmmm, coffee. I could go for a cup. Persephone lifts herself after me, shaking the sleep away before leaning down to chew on some soft grass making my way towards the middle of camp.

With a short yawn I make myself known to the few people who were up - Hosea, Grimshaw and Pearson- running my hands through my hair to look a bit presentable, “Mornin’,” the end of my words almost disappear as they mix with the next yawn, so I stretch my arms again, feeling my body wake up. Hosea looks up from his book with a warm smile, nodding at me.

“Ya blacked out last night.” he said, pushing a half full cup of coffee towards me. I let out a sigh of relief, cupping it up with both of my hands, letting the warmth seep through my palms as I sat on the chair in front of him, pulling my knees up to my chin.

“I was so tired.” I mutter, taking a slow sip and letting a smile form over my face, humming to myself “This hits all the good spots.”

Hosea chuckles, picking his own cup for a drink, “We all were,” his smile remained but I could feel something was bothering him. I know for a fact Hosea was upset on how things happened in Valentine. He worries about everyone, and wants the camp to stay safe at least until they are truly far away. 

I offer him a small smile “At least everyone is alive.” 

Hosea chuckles, albeit tiredly, “That we are, Miss Barbara. That we are.” We stayed in silence for a few minutes, me sipping my coffee and Hosea reading his book, listening to the birds chirping at us, greeting in their own way. That is, until he finally says something, “Did you and Arthur have an argument yesterday?”

The cup’s rim is right by my lips when he asks me and I can’t help but roll my eyes, looking away from him and cursing when Arthur’s cot comes into view, “He just started ‘asking’ me things. Because I’ve been to Lemoyne before.”

Leaning on his hand he murmurs something, “Yes, Dutch mentioned to me you were knowledgeable in this area.” I sigh again, tapping my finger on the tin cup impatiently, “Was that why Arthur was bothered?”

“He asked if I was hiding something from you guys.”

“Are you?”

My frown deepens, “Let me put it this way: before I met you all I had a job and activities to do, so yes I do know some people in this area.” I pause, looking down at the coffee “But they aren’t people you should worry about.”

“Still, I’m sure it wouldn’t be bad if you introduced us,” Hosea begins, gesturing towards me with his book, “I’m certain it’d be good to know more about the area from locals.”

“I mean...Rhodes is…” I hesitate, making a face “Better if you see for yourself. I don’t personally enjoy Rhodes.” but I wouldn’t stop Dutch and his plans if he truly wanted to visit an inbred town. It was then I noticed something: Hosea wasn’t close to me and Arthur when we ‘argued’, as a matter of fact there was no one around us...how did he know about that? 

As if he read my mind the con-man smiled, looking back down towards his book, “Arthur came by fuming, wasn’t makin’ a lotta sense on what happened, just callin’ you a stubborn woman.” my lips purse in annoyance, “Then later, he kept glaring at you during dinner;”

I roll my eyes again, downing what was left of my coffee, “Well, if he wants to apologize he knows where I’ll be.” my smile towards Hosea was tight lipped but he just chuckled at me before I stormed towards the dish basin, aggressively washing the cup and slamming it down the counter. I’m sure someone awoke because of it. I hope it was Arthur.

“ _ Are ya hidin’ somethin’ from us _ ?” maybe I was bitter, imitating his voice under my breath as I started to wash my arms behind the girl’s wagon, “ _ Ya better not be because if ya are, ya goin’ to get shot- _ ” its the 5th time I roll my eyes in a matter of hours, no doubt I’d strain them soon enough.I smooth the wrinkles on my shirt a bit too harsh “As if I would be hiding something, something! Big bad cowboy man has to act tough on me, oho ho ho, _ I’m a big cowboy with big meaty hands I can crush the truth outta you! _ ” 

A face peeks out from the corner, Mary-Beth looking at me with confusion, “Barbara?” I freeze, stopping my ramblings to look at her over my shoulder, “Is everythin’ okay?”

“...Yes. Yes everything is fine.” I sent her a guilty look, “Did I wake you all?”

Mary-Beth covers her yawn with the back of her hand, shaking her head, “Grimshaw yelled at us to wake up already,” she rubs the tiredness off her eyes the best she can, walking towards me in her camisole. I stepped aside so she could use the barrel, “What got you so angry?”

“Nothing.”

“Don’t look like nothin’.”

I huff, crossing my arms like a child, “Just,” I wave my hands, not finding a word that could explain how stupid Arthur was acting “Ugh, just some people being annoying, is all.”

Mary-Beth rubs her wet hands over her face, pushing back some brown strands of hair and her mouth is curving in a little smirk, “Oh,Arthur?” she laughs when I groan, looking at my feet, “He gettin’ on your nerves?” something in her tone, something in it reminds me of Hosea’s comment a few days ago. I dare to look at Mary-Beth again, seeing her smile widening while she wipes her hands, “Don’t let it get to ya.”

“I’m trying.” and yet I keep my arms crossed, like a child who lost her toy.

“Ya are poutin’.” she giggles, which immediately makes me retract my lower lip inside my mouth, “That’s adorable.”

I glower at her, feeling the bubble of anger returning. I’d never be mad at Mary-Beth, of course, but I could be mad at Arthur. Oh, I really could. She laughs again, sleep being replaced by amusement over what was happening to me. She waves me goodbye, walking away from the wagon while I continue seething by the barrel.

Arthur’s voice, the gruff ‘mornin’ comes up somewhere around camp,not exactly close but not too far either. My mood immediately sours. Let me find something else to do before I shout at him again.I peek around the wagon, checking my surroundings to see where Arthur is- narrowing my eyes when I see him talking to Hosea, his back to me- before going the opposite direction.

Then I see Kieran. Sitting alone while having his ‘breakfast’...coffee and what seemed to be stale bread. He’s sitting atop of a small boulder with his eyes up to the sky, the horses surrounding him...except Perse, of course. My legs take me there before I can stop myself, gently patting Dust’s giant nose on my way over.

Kieran jumps when he hears my footsteps, looking over his shoulder like a terrified child only for his body to sag in relief, “M-Miss Barbara, good mornin’.”

“Morning to you too,Kieran.” I smile, slipping my hands inside my pants pockets “Enjoying breakfast?”

He pauses,looking down at the crumbly bread and hell, the coffee isn’t even hot. Then he looks at me, then back at camp, “I-I promise I am enjoyin’ it, I can’t complain!”

“Kieran, relax,” I laugh, feeling a bit bad at how he reacted, “No one sent me here to see if you were complaining, I’m just asking if you are enjoying it.” that thing looked more like paper than bread, Pearson probably kept that special stash in his boot, “How are you though?”

“Me?” he points the flaky bread at himself, genuinely surprised, “I-I...I am fine….considerin’’ everythin’.”

Things for Kieran hadn’t been easy. I know Arthur really rubbed the wrong nerve with me, but compared to the way they treat Kieran? It’s heaven. They still call him O’Driscoll, they still harass him and threaten him when he is trying his best. I can’t help but get upset at that, he seemed like a good man, he hadn’t tried anything either. 

I look from Kieran to Perse, who is currently watching me curiously. Kieran notices it too. “She’s a beautiful horse, Miss Barbara.”

“That she is.” I place my hands on my hips, hearing people waking up, talking more, moving around. “She didn’t give you anymore trouble did she?”

Kieran stares down his coffee, a soft blush on his cheeks, “W-Well, she doesn't let me get closer. B-But ya said its because she’s distrustful of men...but she didn’t bite me or anythin’.”

That’s a relief. Maybe Persephone was getting used to this whole ordeal too. She keeps her distance from the stallions, sometimes even staying with some of the mares for a short while then retreating to her little corner of pasture. “I appreciate that you are trying.” I place my hand gently on his shoulder, to which he looks at me in surprise, his shock melts into a small shy smile and he nods at me thankfully. 

Leaving Kieran to his ‘breakfast’ - really, they have to stop treating the guy like that, at least give him some actual food-, I look at Mrs.Adler who much like me, is angry at something. Or someone. She’s rubbing the wet cloth on a dish so hard I could hear the squeaking on the iron plate. When she notices me staring, she doesn’t stop, but she does open her mouth, “I’m goin’ to lose my mind here,Barbara.”

It’s been so long since I heard her voice I almost did a double take, but chose to approach her instead, “What’s happening?”

Her eyes glare towards her left, where I could see Pearson was.He was too busy having his own breakfast to notice. “I’m gonna kill him.”

“I’m pretty sure we need a cook for survival.” I mutter, offering an apologetic smile when she glares at me. “What is the matter?”

“Ya know somethin’?” I jerk my head back when she uses a knife to point her words towards me, “When I got here, I could barely stand. I was tired and hurt, they took my Jakey from me and then-” she tossed the knife down the basin, water splashing the front of her shirt, “And then when I told Dutch I could help ‘round camp, what does he do?! He tells me I’d be a good help for Pearson. And then when ya show up, he barely bats an eye!”

Was she mad at me and Maddie for leaving camp and doing...things? “I’m...um...sorry?”

Sadie sighed loudly, supporting her fists on the basin, dropping her head, “It ain’t your fault. I just…” she pauses, “I can’t do this no more. I have to do somethin’.” Something clicks in her head, her eyes staring at me, “Ya can help me.”

“...me?”

“Ya know me.” her face sours, “Ya knew my Jakey. Ya know what I can do. And ya and Arthur seem to be gettin’ along.”

I lean closer to her, crossing my arms, “Honestly Mrs.Adler, I wouldn’t put much faith in my ‘friendship’ with Arthur. He’s still distrustful of me.” her face returns to the scowl, the hopeful determination disappearing.

“I thought ya was gettin’ along well.”

I snort, something very unladylike and yet very  _ fitting _ , “Me too. But, you can’t really change people’s minds in a snap of fingers.” my shrug was nonchalant, even if in the back of my brain I was still disappointed by how he acted. “Maybe...maybe you can talk to Hosea, he’s a good listener and can be quite fair.”

Sadie frowned more, “I’ll think ‘bout it.” I give her a nod, about to leave when she calls my name again, “...It’s good havin’ someone I know here, I’m sorry I didn’t talk a lot, I-”

“It’s alright, truly.”

A shadow of a smile forms over her lips before disappearing, her gaze returning-alongside her rage- to the dirty dishes. I tap my fingers on the outside of my thighs, trying to find something else to do. As I look around I notice the camp is lacking three members: Arthur,Dutch and Hosea.

Interestingly enough their horses were in camp but they weren’t. Oh well, maybe it was better that way. I was still slightly bitter by Arthur’s actions.So a distance, a great one, between us for a while would work.

My mouth curls unpleasantly, my arms cross again. Great, the anger came back. Grimshaw wasn’t trying to skin me alive yet...and there was a small dock. Maybe I could stay there for a while, just until my head wasn’t boiling with rage anymore.

I remove my boots while still on land,hooking them up with two of my fingers, letting my bare feet touch the wooden panels. I already felt my body relaxing, just imagining my feet inside the chilled water, even if for a short time. 

I sat down by the edge, rolling my pants up to my calves so I wouldn’t wet them and plopped my feet in. My eyes fluttered closed, my head leaned back and I sighed, supporting my upper body on my arms. The water was amazing, just right for Lemoyne’s heat. I closed my eyes, the voices becoming quieter, the natural sounds taking their place instead, creating a little symphony for me.

It was nice. I needed that more than I thought.

Just putting your feet in a lake, something so simple, can make you forget your own anger. Even if it was for a limited period. 

I know Arthur was still distrustful under that friendly banter we had, and it honestly hurt my ego a little bit. It has been a month and a half since we joined, never giving or doing more than asked, nor drawing any suspicion whatsoever. They knew about what I did, not the specifics of course, but they knew I had a life before joining the gang. 

Joining is a bit of a strong word, more like a  _ temporary relocation _ . Until I deal with Cornwall. Then I’m gone and they are gone and we’ll never meet again! But that thought pained my heart a little, even if I don’t ‘belong’ I still ended up caring for some of them, except Bill. Bill was still in my shit list. 

Strange. I’ve been on my own for so long. Having more than two people around me was making me want to stay, to remain there. Ah, but that’d be a silly wish to have. I have plans of my own, things I want to do, I wouldn’t be able to stay here after I dealt with the giant tumor that the businessman was. 

A fish swims by my feet, its scales brushing my skin, making me laugh quietly at the feeling. I lean forward, seeing the fish swim by again before disappearing. Out of nowhere, from the back of my memory, I remember a song and a voice singing it.A soothing, calm voice.

_ “Paola?” _

_ My sister sits up on her bed, kicking off the covers already making her way to me. She knows why I was there. “Come here.” she grabs my small hand, tugging me back into her room. I climb on her bed,watching her do the same, covering both of us the gray blanket. _

_ She runs her fingers through my hair, caressing my face as I hug my doll tighter to my chest, looking up at her expectantly. Paola was so beautiful, she looked so much like mother. She made me calm when I couldn’t be. _

_ “Ninna nanna a sette e venti,” she sings quietly, still brushing my hair, “il bambino s'addormenti. S'addormenta e fa un bel sonno. E si sveglia domani a giorno.” my eyelids start to get heavy, but I try my best to listen to the whole thing this time! Or at least...I hope. Sleep is already coming and Paola laughs while singing. _

_ “Nanna ieri, nanna ieri e le sporte non son panieri. E i panieri non son le sporte e la vita non è la morte. E morte non è la vita.La canzone l'è già finita.” I feel her pressing her lips to my forehead, then hugging me close, “Good night, Barbara. I’ll be here when you wake up.” _

I sing the song quietly to myself, the lullaby coming forth easily. My feet swing back and forth in the water following the song’s rhythm, “Ninna nanna a sette e venti,” the water ripples around my feet, “Il bambino s’addormenti. Sa addormenta e fa un bel sonno e si sveglia domani a giorno.” 

My mother used to sing that lullaby for me and Paola when we were younger, then my aunt did...then Paola did, while in the orphanage. They all knew I skipped towards her room sometimes, when the dreams were too much to bear, they never punished her because of it.

I hope...wherever she is, she’s okay.And not--not dead. 

I shake my head to get rid of the thoughts, she’s not dead. She’s safe. **_She’s safe._ **

The lullaby leaves my mouth a little louder before I could stop myself. It helps me calm down, makes me remember happier times for a short while. 

I don’t notice the boat approaching until I hear talking, the voices belonging to the three men that were absent from camp this morning. Including Arthur. 

My mouth clacks shut immediately and I yank my feet off the water, the peace I felt now gone. I shake my feet a little, drying them the best I could so I could slip my socks on again. 

“Miss Barbara!”

I am thankful I had my back to them because the scowl I had only worsened.Even if it wasn’t Dutch’s fault. Taking a deep breath of courage and slapping a smile on, I turn around to reply “Good morning.”

They are all on land now. Dutch watches me with a small grin under his mustache “I could be wrong but I believe I heard you singing.”

Fuck.

“Oh that?” I laugh nervously, not looking at him anymore. They heard me, fuck! “Just-Just a silly song really.” It comes out wrong because it wasn’t silly, it meant something to me “I mean...it’s a lullaby.” 

I try to appear busy dusting my boots, wiping some imaginary stain from the leather, embarrassed because I was caught in my moment. 

“A lullaby,” Dutch repeats “And what language was it?”

“...Italian.” My voice comes out as a murmur but Dutch hears it way too well.

His eyebrows disappear under his hat, “Italian? Why I had no idea you could speak Italian.”

I look away from him again, slipping on my socks and boots, tapping the heel against the wooden boards. “My…” I sigh, “My family is Italian, that’s why.” let’s keep the rest inside, right? They don’t need more information, “Anyway,it’s nothing to worry about, just a song I enjoy.” 

“It’s a beautiful song,” this time it’s Hosea’s voice, closer than before. I look behind me to see he approached the docks, giving me a gentle smile while holding a bag of what seemed to be fish over his shoulder, “You don’t have to feel embarrassed because of it, dear.”

My smile yet again barely meets my eyes, but I appreciate his words. I dare steal a glimpse towards Arthur, who is watching the conversation by the corner of his eye, not moving away even when our gazes meet. He looks...I don’t know, curious? Would that be the right word? 

Hosea walks up the sandbank with Dutch following, the latter telling Arthur to meet him by his tent later. Arthur nods, then his gaze is back on me but this time, I don’t keep the stare. My shirt was way more interesting than he was. I focus on a loose thread by the sleeve, wrapping it around my index finger and pulling it hard, snapping it off.

He is still looking at me, I can feel it.

So I sigh loudly, placing my hands on my hips, tossing my head his direction, “Yes? Something you want?”

Arthur wiped his hands down his jeans, dipping his head “I ain’t say nothin’.”

“You are looking so that can only mean you want to say something.”

He pauses, looking back up at me, then walking towards the docks. Stopping in front of me with his hands on his hips he finally speaks, “Listen,” he begins, “When I said that yesterday I didn’t meant that I think ya are goin’ to do somethin’ against us,” I couldn’t help but scoff, crossing my arms, looking at a tree in the distance instead, “Listen, Miss Barbara, we don’t know much ‘bout ya. Ya’ve been everywhere and yet we don’t know why.”

I heave out a sigh, my fingers digging on my bicep, biting my tongue to prevent a curse.  _ ‘He does have a point’ _ a voice that dangerously resembled my sister’s appeared in the back of my head. How do I tell him? Should I let them know about Jessica? About why I’ve been working around so much and how I was once in jail for a crime I didn’t commit? 

“...I was helping a friend.” I mumble, kicking the wooden panel below my foot, “I owed her that much, she saved me. And for that I had to...travel a lot, work a lot, investigate a lot.”

Finally I turn back to him, a small smile on my face, “It’s...complicated. But I hope you know I mean no harm to this camp or anyone here, Arthur. I know we’ve met in a short period of time but I truly care about some people here.”

“Some people?” he arches one eyebrow, “Not all?”

“I don’t care for Bill.”

That makes him laugh, his head throwing back in a loud guffaw, wheezes mixed in and he coughs to get some oxygen back, “That-” he snorts, “Alright, I’ll take that.” my heart feels strangely calm seeing him laugh at that, of course it must be because we won’t have to be ignoring each other all the time and have a bit of a relationship- **_friendship!_ ** Friendship, not relationship. Damn, Hosea really messed me up.

I’m not attracted to Arthur. We are just good acquaintances, turning  _ friends _ . I purse my lips while smirking, turning to face him fully, “Honestly, I was going to add you to my ‘avoid’ list too.” his eyes widened and he stopped laughing, staring at me in actual terror.

“Wha-why?”

I try to play dumb, shrugging my shoulders, “You can be a bit of an ass.” I have to admit, nothing pleases me more than seeing how his face melts from worry to another chuckle, one I can’t help but reciprocate, “And honestly, if you hadn’t talked to me, I would’ve ignored you the whole day.”

“The whole day?”

“The whole  _ damn  _ day, Morgan.” I smirk, hopping out of the docks to playfully punch his shoulder, he barely moves, “Buuuut, I suppose I can accept your reasoning. For now.”

“Damn woman, what ya want me to do? Crawl and beg ya forgiveness?”

The vision is too hilarious to miss, but I shake my head, “As funny as that would be, I don’t think it’d-”

Shouting interrupted my words, shouting coming from behind us. I look over my shoulder to see Sadie and Pearson in a screaming match, one holding a sharp knife while the other holds a cleaver. “What in the hell?” Arthur asks, mostly to himself, quickly walking towards them and I can’t help but follow him closely.

Pearson is shouting something, but his words mixed with Sadie’s who in turn waved the knife higher as if trying to stab him, I tensed up knowing if she wanted she would do it, but she just held it there like a warning. 

“What is goin’ on?”

Sadie growled, stabbing the wagon’s wooden surface, “I ain’t choppin’ vegetables for a livin!” so it was the same issue as earlier, except in a developed stance now. Involving sharp weapons.

“Oh I’m sorry,madam.” Arthur’s tone drips with sarcasm, his arms opening just a bit “Was there insufficient feathers in your pillow?”

She tosses the rag she had on her shoulder towards his boots, her face curling up in anger, “Look, I ain’t lazy Mr.Morgan.I’ll work, but not this.” she walked away from Arthur, shouldering Pearson quite hard on the way, ignoring Arthur saying ‘well, ain’t cookin’ work?’

I follow Sadie when she walks farther from the two men, I see Arthur doing the same. She looks back at me, she’s angry, furious and I can understand her. Offering her a sympathetic smile, I see her shoulders lessen up, turning around to face a confused Arthur. She holds her hands up, taking a deep breath before speaking, “My husband an I, we shared the work.” she moves her hands for explanation, “All of it.”

“I was out in the fields, I can hunt,” I peek towards Arthur, noticing he’s tilting his head as she speaks, but I can’t figure out what he’s thinking. “Carry a knife or use a gun.” her eyes move from him to Pearson who is trying to appear distracted and not eavesdropping on the conversation, “But if ya keep me here...I’ll skin this fat old coot and serve him for dinner!”

Pearson looks up from what he was doing, narrowing his eyes, pointing a finger in her direction, “Watch your damn mouth, you crazy goddamn fishwife!”

I could see something snape behind Sadie’s gaze. She lunges at him and I immediately wrap my arms around her waist, trying to hold her back, “Sadie! No!” she’s trying to claw his eyes out, kicking dirt, she’s a lot stronger than she looks and I’m having a hard time holding her still.

It wasn’t until Arthur pushes Pearson back and places a hand on Sadie’s shoulder to prevent her from escaping my grasp, “Enough!” he bellows, “Both of ya!”

Sadie is breathing hard through her nose, I could hear her heart pounding violently inside her ribcage. I still have my arms around her waist, clutching my hand around my wrist so tight I’m sure I shut the circulation off. I slowly let her go when I feel she’s calmed down a little, straightening myself.

“Well,come with me then.” Arthur says while Sadie regains her breath, my eyes meeting his face “You wanna head out there?Run with the men?” he walks around me and Sadie, keeping his eyes on her, “So be it.”

He steps closer, eyes hard and serious, “But we do more than just huntin’. We’re hunted. And the things hunting us, well they got guns of their own.”

I understand he’s laying it down to Sadie, but if he thought that’d stop her he’s dead wrong, “I ain’t afraid of dyin’.” her voice cracks a bit, she still holds her chin high. I finally let her waist go, stepping aside and crossing my arms instead, watching the staredown happen.

“Good.” Arthur blinks his gaze away from her to Pearson “Ya need anythin’ Mr.Pearson?” Arthur nods towards the cook, who looks extremely flustered, “Maybe me and Mrs.Adler are gonna take a little ride.”

“And Barbara.” Sadie says, which makes me snap my gaze up in surprise, “I want her with me.”

Arthur looks from Pearson then to me, pauses for a second, and nods while sighing, “Fine.” he looks back as the cook approaches with a list and a letter. 

I lean close to Sadie, furrowing my eyebrows“I...are you sure?”

Sadie sighs through her nose, “Of anyone here, you are probably the only one I can trust.” she steels her gaze, “Yes,I am damn sure.”

I’m flattered, not holding back my smirk, glad she felt that way about me. Considering how much I helped the Adlers last year, I suppose it makes sense. Maybe brings her some peace to have a piece of the past, something that connects with her husband in a sense.

“Come on, princesses.” Arthur says, looking down at the list, walking away from us, stopping a few feet when we remain still, “Are ya two comin’ or what?”


	14. Further Questions of Female Suffrage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am...........so happy.............just a happy bean <3
> 
> comments and kudos are the author's fuel! If you like my story please leave a little comment, even if it's an emoji :)

I’m on the back of the wagon, with my upper back leaning against the wood when Sadie asks for Pearson’s letter. Immediately I perk up, sitting up on my knees to lean closer, “You going to read his letter?”

Sadie rolls her eyes, “Ya people...robbin’ and killin’ is okay, but readin’ a letter is where we draw the line?” she is already ripping the envelope open. I just chuckle, supporting my chin on my arms as I stare between Arthur and Sadie, the latter following the lines of writing and a smirk made its way to her face.

I lean forward, tilting my head up, not being able to contain my curiosity either. I can’t read anything, so Sadie starts with: “Dear Aunt Cathy, I haven’t heard from you in some time, so I prayed to the Lord above that your health has not deteriorated further.” she sighs, adjusting herself on the seat, “Blah, blah, blah, it’s boring.” 

Her eyes run a few more lines then widen, her mouth opening in a gasp that turns into a mischievous chuckle “Oh!Wait a sec, listen to this,” she clears her throat “Since we last corresponded I have traveled widely, making no small name for myself. Before you ask,I am still yet to take a wife but I can assure you it’s not for the lack of suitors.”

Arthur laughs alongside Sadie and I join in with a snort, covering my mouth while grinning. Okay, that was hilarious, I had to admit. “I mean, he sure does know how to talk to a woman, doesn’t he?” I gently elbow Sadie’s hip, remembering how he reacted a few minutes ago. She laughs harder, controlling her breathing so she could continue.

“He ever actually talked to a woman he ain’t paid for?” Sadie asks Arthur, who was still chuckling to himself. 

“Look, we’re all hidin’ behind somethin’.”

Sadie looks on the back of the envelope, furrowing her eyebrows “And what’s this? ‘Return to Tacitus Kilgore?’ “

Arthur barely gives the name a glance, flicking his wrists on the reins so the horses could go faster, “Oh, that? Now that’s Dutch’s idea. All mail to be sent to the same alias.” he starts explaining, “Whenever we set up somewhere new, Strauss he heads into town, tells ‘em to start expecting mail from a Tacitus Kilgore or whatever name they changed it to.”

My nose curls at the mention of the German. I didn’t like him and he didn’t like me either. I don’t care if he brings good money to the camp, he’s a sleaze. But I had to admit it was a good tactic “That’s smart.” I say after a while, still supporting my head on my arms, the town of Rhodes slowly making itself visible in the distance.

Arthur looks down at me, offering me a slight frown, “Ya sure ya are comfortable back there?” he asks, looking forward to guide the horses, “I know it ain’t the softest place to sit.”

“You make it seem as if I have never been in the back of a wagon before.” I smirk, looking up at him, my gaze softening at his concern however, “I’m fine,Arthur. Don’t worry about me.”

He offers me a nod, a quiet ‘alright’ leaving his lips. We arrive in Rhodes in a matter of seconds and I couldn’t help but notice it’s...emptier than before. Sure,it never had a lot of people to begin with but it seems like this place is one step close to becoming a ghost town. Arthur grabs the letter back from sadie, slipping inside his black vest while he leads the horses towards the general store near the entrance.

I try to not make eye contact with the men resting by, the one whittling some wood lifts his head to look at me but I just move my gaze up, playing as if I'm looking at the sky.

“Okay,” Arthur says as we finally stop, he keeps the wagon near the back of the store, far away from any curious eyes “Here we are.” He starts to leave the wagon, I do the same, lifting myself on my knees and tapping my clothes off any dust.

But I see something shining by the corner of my eye, looking up only to notice Sadie has a fucking gun out. “So?What’s the plan?I shoot the shopkeeper while you--”

“No!” 

Both me and Arthur reach for the gun, turning it up to the sky, startling Sadie in the process. I look at his hand practically engulfing mine, the fingerless gloves he wore tickling the back of my fingers. I don’t know why my cheeks burned, but I quickly yanked my hand off from under his, not daring to meet his eyes.

“Are ya insane?” Arthur asks after a while, sitting back down next to her.

“Well, I thought we was outlaws..” Sadie is aiming the gun ahead, not really at anyone - thank god- but Arthur grabs it and pulls it down, near her lap.

“Outlaws, not  _ idiots _ .” he says through gritted teeth, looking behind his shoulder to see if anyone wanted to know what the commotion was about. This time our eyes met and I shook my head at him, saying the coast was clear. “We rob fools that rob other people. These people, they are just tryin’ to get by.”

That was an honorable aspect, one I tried to follow most of the time too. Sadie drops from the wagon and I vault myself out from the back, landing on the ground with a dull thud, before making my way towards her and standing by her side. 

Arthur stands straight from the top of the wagon, looking down at the two of us, “So ya head on in there, and ya buy us some food to eat.” he starts to climb down from the wagon, looking back down “And no guns.” 

“Are ya sure?” She seems eager to do something else other than shopping.

“This time. There’ll be time for killin’ soon enough.” he moves his gaze to me, “Ya take care of her, don’t want to come runnin’ if ya two end up in a shootout.”

“Don’t worry.” I begin, watching him walk away from us, “Where are you going?” 

“Ah,I’m gonna go check the mail, nothin’ excitin’.” he waves at us from a distance, making his way to the post office. Sadie and myself stare at him for a while, maybe I keep looking at him too much because he looks really good in all black.  _ Way too good. _

Wait.

I shake my head vigorously, trying to remove the image of Arthur in black clothing out of my mind. Sadie is looking at me, one of her eyebrows up and hands on her hips, “Let’s...get this over with, come on.” the two of us walk towards the front of the store, the men there stop what they were doing to stare at us.

Sadie complains under her breath while pulling her skirts up while we walk up the steps to the door, “I hate this,” she murmurs, looking back at me, then at my dark pants, “Ya have no idea how lucky ya are for wearin’ that.”

“Oh I think I know.” I chuckle, “Come on, the sooner we do this the sooner we leave.”

The store didn’t change in a year, well, except the clerk. It’s a smaller man than last time, skinnier too with a thick blonde beard and glasses, “Good mornin’ ladies!” he says way too chipper,”What can I help ya with today?”

We approach the counter and I ask for his almanac. He all but put it on a pedestal for us, telling us to take our time in choosing what we need. We flip through the pages, well more likely I do, Sadie is huffing annoyedly through her nose, leaning on a hand. 

“This is hell.”

“This could be worse.” I whisper, making a circle on a canned corn picture, “We just need to grab some food.”

Sadie supports herself with her left arm, then her right. She straightens herself, then leans forward again. She growls under her breath, tugging the end of the blue skirt she wore with a vengeance, “I hate this stupid skirt!” 

Considering I used to have a skirt just like that last year-because I thought it’d be a good idea to at least try and then get immensely annoyed by it- I knew what she was feeling. I purse my lips, tapping my fingers against the counter, looking back towards the window to check if Arthur was on his way “Let’s get you some new clothes then.”

She scoffed, crossing her arms, “I don’t have enough money to. This was the amount for food.”

“Well,” I tap my pants’ back pocket, pulling out a few crumpled dollars from inside, “Consider this a gift then.” Sadie stares at me with shock - and a glimmer of hope- in her eyes. I wave the dollars in her face, “Come on, if you don’t want it I can always take it ba--”

Sadie snatches the dollars from my hand, her jaw set and face serious. But her eyes are shining and she envelops me in a quick hug, “Thank ya.” the hug ends as fast as it begins, I barely have time to hug her back, before she is flipping through the almanac to see the clothes section.

Okay,I could let that slide. Besides I’m sure it’d help her humor if we did that first. Sadie chose the clothes, the clerk saying that those were ‘Male clothes, madam’ only to squirm away under Sadie’s glare. Her options were chosen and she barked out what she wanted. The clerk quickly retrieved them and told us to follow him to the changing area.

I waited outside, leaning my back against the wall while Sadie changed behind the thick red velvet curtain, “How is it going in there?” I ask, tilting my head closer to hear something.

“I ain’t done yet!” 

“Well! I am just asking! Is everything fitting right?”

She pauses and I hear more shuffling, then a curse, “Yes, it is now.”

Ah, the joys of finding pants that fit a female body. Always an amazing journey to see if the back would be too loose or if the end of the pants would drag on the ground. The curtain is shifted back and Sadie steps out, with her old clothes rolled up under her arm, looking a tidbit relaxed. I look at her from the top of her new hat to the tip of her boots, “You look nice.”

“Thanks.” Sadie walks past me, I turn on my heel to follow her back to the counter. She pauses, looks at me, then at the almanac, “Why don’t ya go meet with Arthur? I can handle this.”

Not being able to hold back my surprise, I blink at her, “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I can think now without this,” she looks at the rolled up clothes as if they carried the plague, “Botherin’ me.” as if she could feel my hesitation, Sadie rolled her eyes “I will behave, dontcha worry none. Just go get him.”

“Okay, okay,” I lift my hands in mock-surrender, smirking at her, “Whatever you say,ma’am.” she swats her hat at my shoulder hissing a  _ ‘get outta here _ ’ while I laugh my way outside. My smile drops when I remember the men there, and how their eyes were glued on me. I don’t look at either of them when I walk out, but I feel the burning of their stares on my back, and without knowing I speed walk my way towards the post office.

I let out an exhale of relief when I entered, looking around in hopes I could see Arthur anywhere, smiling to myself when I saw part of his hip cocked up, appearing by the corner of the booth. My steps are slow, his form taking more shape as I get closer, I get him running a hand through the longer hair atop of his head, a few blonde strands falling over his eyes while he does so.

My heart tightens just a bit. But I ignore it.

“Hey.” I say then, leaning my shoulder against the wall. He looks at me in surprise, then panic, about to ask if something happened, “Everything is fine,Arthur. Mrs.Adler is dealing with the food. She just told me she could do it on her own and for me to check on you.”

“Ya two behavin’ right?” He stares at me by the corner of his eye, supporting himself on his elbows..

I can’t help my snort, yes the still unladylike snort, offering him the most innocent look, “Promise we didn’t hurt anyone too bad,” I smirk when his mouth opens, ready to tear me a new one, “I’m joking!I’m joking! Nothing happened,I promise!” 

Arthur pursed his lips, narrowing his eyes at me, then a slow smile formed. He dips his head to tap his vest, “Well, if nothin’ bad happened, time to go back. I already posted the letter.”

I make a move to walk ahead of him, but his legs are longer and he reaches the door before I could, keeping it open for me. That was...really sweet. My head dips in a silent thanks as I step out with him following behind. I don’t know why that little action made my stomach flutter, I’ve had men open doors for me before -granted, not a lot of them did that without some ulterior motive hidden in the depths of their minds- but it seemed different with Arthur.

We make little chat on our way back to the store and the wagon, I don’t let him know about Sadie’s new attire, I want to see his reaction. The closer we get the more his eyes squint, seeing a yellow and brown blob become Sadie Adler in her new outfit, she’s shouting something at the man helping her- not the owner, but one of the employees- and the guy doesn’t appreciate it, throwing a glare her way when he walked back into the store.

“Did you just say to that man your sister’s newborn was stronger than he was?” I ask, not being able to hold back my laugh.

“Well, it ain’t a lie. I didn’t ask for his goddamn help.” 

The wagon was full with supriments, no doubt it’d be enough for a few weeks. I smile at Sadie when I see she left a space for me to hop on back inside, which I do, keeping my ear on what Arthur says to her. He keeps looking back at her in confusion, his eyebrows furrowed up together.

He was cute when he was confused.

My smile immediately drops- no! No, no no! Not thinking like this! I settle myself back down in the wagon, seeing Arthur sitting front but not taking the reins. He tells Sadie to do it instead.

She looks so much happier, climbing on the driver’s seat and leads us away, slowly at first, waiting for some distance so she could speed up. Arthur asks her about the food, she lets him know she got what was asked and then mentions her clothing.

Her eyes briefly turn to me, “Don’t start. I can wear what I damn well want.” she snaps, “Like I told you, my husband and I shared all the work. I wasn’t some little wife with a flower in her hair baking cherry pies all day.”

I sputter a laugh, avoiding Arthur’s gaze by looking at the horizon instead, sitting by the little bench area behind the front. 

“I don’t doubt that, ya sure look the part now.” he says, with a little smile, “Won’t be long before ya’re smokin’ cigars and playin’ the harmonica.”

We are already out of Rhodes, the town becoming smaller as we went away. Arthur and Sadie’s talking reverberating in my ears but I keep silent, just enjoying and chuckling from time to time, even smiling softly when Arthur suggested getting her a new harmonica since hers burned down with the rest of her house. 

She refuses, telling him to treat her as an equal instead. 

“Just don’t kill the camp cook, please.”

I snort again, covering my mouth with a hand, looking up to find Arthur staring down at me. He’s grinning. I lean my body forward, placing an arm over the front seat’s rim, “You have to admit it’d be hilarious.”

He pauses, grins wider, then looks ahead again ,”I ain’t sayin’ nothin’.” Sadie laughs alongside me, “Ya two together are dangerous.” This is nice, and amazingly fun. Arthur seems at ease with the two of us, he’s laughing along with the little jokes and teasing we toss back and forth.

I can’t help but notice he looks at me from time to time by the corner of his eye, but I just think he’s worried if I’m comfortable or not. Again, very sweet, but not necessary. I look back at him, sending him a smile to assure I’m okay, even stretching myself with my back to them.

My eyes are clenched but I frown upon hearing grass being stepped by hooves. I blink them open, seeing a gray uniform take place, right by Arthur’s side. A Lemoyne Raider, fuck! He’s using an old uniform, ripped in some areas with a hat that looked no better than the rest of his outfit. I stop my stretching, immediately straightening myself,because if there’s one there’s more.

He greets us, dark eyes moving to the two in the front then to me, his mouth curling into a smirk exposing very few yellow teeth “What are ya folks up to?”

“Just headin’ home.” cames Arthur’s wary reply, but he doesn’t do anything.

I suck in a breath, noticing movement over the hill, seeing little dots that shape themselves into more Raiders. My hand slowly slides down towards my revolver, unpinning the button that keeps my holster closed, using my thumb to unlock the hammer. The guy luckily is too focused on Arthur and Sadie to notice me, “Ya are in Lemoyne Raider territory,” I roll my eyes at his words, “Ya need to pay a toll to pass through here.”

Sadie’s arm moves a bit, but it is stopped by Arthur’s hand. She was reaching for her revolver only for Arthur to mutter a ‘keep it cool Sadie’. She reluctantly moves her hand away. My body stiffens when another one approaches, the rest no longer visible. Fuck this is  _ not  _ good.

“I dont think so.” Arthur says dryly, making the Raider jerk back in surprise.

His friend comes up by Sadie’s side, the two of us making eye contact with one another then facing the other man. “Ya don’t think so? How about ya pull over right now?” I try to look around, see where the rest of them are, barely hearing the sound of grass swishing around us.

“Pull over?”

“That’s what I said.”

Sadie and I make eye contact again, I see her hand going for her gun. We all slow down by the train tracks. I pull out my own revolver, keeping it near my calf so they won’t be suspicious “Hey, how about this?” Sadie shoots the ground near his horse, making it reer back in fear so the guy has to hold onto the reins to prevent falling back.

I gulp, holding myself against the wagon, “This is a  _ GREAT  _ time to get the hell out of here!” I shout “NOW!” the guy on our left pulls out his gun the same time I lift mine. He has no time to aim since I shoot him square between the eyes, his body falling limp. 

The wagon jostles about when we take speed, I have to clench my hand to keep myself still inside. And like ants coming out of an anthill, Lemoyne Raiders come out of nowhere, “Shit! There’s five behind us!” I shoot, “Make it four!!”

Arthur curses under his breath, aiming his rifle to the front of us while I keep the ones in the back far enough. Sadie is shouting to the horses to go faster, which makes my situation complicated since I have to aim and keep myself within the wagon at the same time. The ones behind us disperse between the trees, I lose them from my sight but I remain looking behind us.

“I’m gonna run this son of a bitch down!” Sadie shouts, I glance forward confusedly only to see a Raider disappear immediately underneath the wagon’s wheels, I could feel the wheels digging over his body, I could hear his bones breaking underneath it’s weight. It’d be disgusting if we weren’t trying to survive.

The wagon hustles around violently when we get near a grassy patch by the road,Sadie hopping out of the driver’s seat, “Well ya wanted some action lady,now ya got your wish!” Arthur shouts, ducking behind a boulder not too far from us. I vault myself out, yelping when a bullet grazes by my cheek, burning the skin but luckily not hitting anything. It lands on a tree behind me instead.

Breathing heavily I look back up again. My eyes moving to each Raider I could see. The four from before plus three more approaching from between the wooded area. I click my revolver open, count the bullets and click it closed. “I fucking hate Raiders.” 

Ducking and dodging bullets I manage to slip towards Arthur’s side seeing he had the majority of Raiders going in his direction. Without missing a beat I take another one down, Arthur gets the next one and Sadie...I look towards her, seeing the sea of bodies forming in front of her hiding place.

The Raiders could be easily outnumbered by less than a group. Considering this was around seven of them against three of us. Even if this group seemed to persevere a little while longer than the ones I’ve met before. 

One after another they fell, the rest running away from us. Sadie growls, leaping over the fallen trunk she was hiding behind, still shooting her revolver towards a fleeing Raider, “Yeah! You run you coward!!” she shoots in his direction two more times but he doesn’t fall so I assume she’s shooting to scare him. 

She wouldn’t miss.

I let out a breath, leaning back against the wagon to let the adrenaline run down. Arthur is breathing just, if not harder than I was. He’s supporting the end of his rifle against his thigh, the nozzle still leaking smoke. 

Sadie comes towards us with the biggest smile on her face, chest heaving, “I think we’re good here. Nice shootin’ you two.” the two of us looked in her direction, I managed a weak wave her way when she announced she’ll drive us back. With a groan I climb back onto the wagon, settling down with a huff, fixing some of the boxes that fell down during the chase.

Arthur was about to climb up himself, when his eyes look at me, “Ya are bleedin’.” I frown, bleeding? I look down at my shirt, patting around for the said wound, “No, your face.”

Oh.

I gently touch the area where the bullet grazed, wincing when the skin makes contact with my hand, completely irritated. I pull my hand back to see a small amount of blood on the tips of my fingers. Maybe it was deeper than I thought. “I’m fine.” I gently press my cheek to my shoulder, hoping it’d clean some of the blood, “The bullet just grazed me, is all.”

Arthur’s jaw sets diminutively, but he says nothing, choosing to climb up and take the reins from Sadie instead, because ‘she caused enough trouble.’ She huffs, leaning back on the seat, looking from me to Arthur, “We showed those bastards, huh?”

“Remind not to get on your bad side.” He flicks his gaze at me “Neither of you.”

It hurts when I laugh but I can’t help the chuckle leaving my lips. I sigh again, listening to the two talk while I look towards the sea of corpses, then to the sky that’s starting to turn orange. We’ve been away for that long? Damn. 

“Y’all did good, but that’s a lot of mess to make near camp,” Arthur said, “Hope it don’t bring anyone sniffin’ around.”

He was right, it was dangerously close to camp. I could still see the bodies when we used one of the entrances. Sadie speaks finally after minutes of silence, “Are you goin’ to tell Dutch?”

Arthur tenses up, looking from her to me. He keeps his gaze on me longer, “Maybe, if he asks. But maybe not.” I sigh in relief, ‘But we gotta treat that wound on your cheek.” 

“It’s barely a scratch.”

“Well, there’s blood comin’ out of it.”

Still? Damn it.

“So who they said they were? Lemoyne Raiders?” Sadie asks, partially turning to me.

I sigh, pressing the end of my sleeve to my cheek, “C onfederate veterans and recruited, disenfranchised young fellers with reactionary views.” I roll my eyes, “Racists as all hell, anti-government, death to the North, those things.” giving them a shrug I continue my explanation, “Most of the locals don’t mind them because,  _ figures.  _ My friend has had many issues with them though, they are always causing some type of trouble around the area.”

One of the main reasons Scotty didn’t stay with us was because she couldn’t let her brother and father deal with the Raiders alone. They lived in ‘Raider’ land according to the gang, but it was all a lie to scare them without much success. 

Sadie snorts with a frown, “Sure. They seem to be the type.”

“...They are more organized.” I mentioned quietly, “Usually they are hard to get but what we’ve seen today wasn’t normal.” Arthur looks back at me, slowing the horses so we wouldn’t be within earshot by anyone standing on guard duty “They don’t hide in bushes like that. Someone has been teaching them things.”

“Ya said they was veterans.” he adds, albeit quietly, “Maybe it’s war trainin’.”

I scoff, shaking my head, “Arthur, they are believing in a world where the war wasn’t lost and people should still be ostracized by their skin tone, if not killed. You think they have the time to train? No, someone is spending time, and probably money, teaching them new tricks.” 

Arthur’s jaw moves, he’s digesting the information, “Should we be worried?” 

“I don’t know...I’d like to know more. Maybe Scotty has something to tell me, after all she has lived here her whole life.” Or Maggie, she had issues with the Raiders as well, plus it’d give me one more reason to see her besides the moonshine operation.

We finally settled into silence, nodding towards Lenny who was in guard duty. He furrowed his eyebrows at me because of how I kept holding my cheek, worried since he probably saw the small blood stain on the dark blue fabric, but I waved my hand at him. Sweet kid, he was. Smart too but it’d be better if he didn’t ask too much.

“Anyway, neither of ya go ribbin’ Pearson ‘bout that letter.” Arthur whispers, we were approaching the camp area but still quite far no one would hear us.

Sadie smirks down at me, then at him, placing a hand over her heart dramatically “How dare you? I wouldn’t dream of it. Would ya Barbara?” I make a zipping motion over my lips, smiling at her, which makes her laugh “ _ I have traveled widely, making no small name for myself _ -” she can’t continue without chuckling, something I join in with quiet laughter vibrating my chest.

Arthur sighs, but he is coughing out a chuckle, “I won’t be givin’ ya no mail to post any time soon, that’s for sure.” 

Sadie smirks, “I just want a peek in that journal of yours. The mind boggles.”

Arthur tenses up, looking from Sadie to myself with actual worry in his eyes, then he moves his head away, “Not a chance.” 

I had seen Arthur holding a journal open around camp sometimes, writing something on it...while I was curious I wouldn’t step over that privacy term with him. It was his only, and I should respect that.

The sun was starting to set when we finally reached the camp, Arthur stopping the wagon a few meters far from the main fire pit. Pearson walks over, a bitter smile on his face “You didn’t get yourself killed then,Mrs.Adler?”

“Not quite.” she hisses back, hopping out of the wagon with Arthur, I remain inside to hand Pearson one of the boxes, he nods in thanks

“Well, I’d like to say I missed your refined conversations, but, I’d be lying.” deep inside he cared for her, I was sure. Sadie accepted the box he placed in her hands, looking at me and Arthur.

“I...I enjoyed myself out there.” she says, genuinely thankful.

Arthur leans on the back of the wagon, clearing his throat, “Yes we, err,” I send him a look while giving Pearson another box. “Mrs.Adler did okay.” 

The cook looked at Arthur, then at my face, probably noticing the fresh cut on my cheek, narrowing his eyes, “At shopping?” 

“Of course,” I quip, keeping my eyes on him, “What else?” he nervously shuffles on his feet, accepting the next box I give him.

“Well, you hurt your cheek-”

“Oh this? Oh, I accidentally hit my face on the door on my way in. Can you believe it?”

I could say he was suspicious of something, looking at Arthur for an answer but the cowboy just set his jaw tight, not replying to him. Pearson took the hint and stopped asking and I finally vaulted over the wagon back to the ground, settling myself near Arthur who is currently holding two of the boxes from the wagon.

“Thank ya…” Sadie begins, she sounds so much better than before “Both of ya.” 

I offer her a grin, picking two bags of grains and tossing them on my shoulders, watching Arthur walk in her direction.

“Don’t mention it,” Arthur says, following her when she walks away, “I would ride with ya again, Mrs.Adler...If you’ll ride with me.” 

I don’t know why that makes something in my chest pull, something that bothers me greatly. I adjust the bags on my shoulders, following the three of them towards Pearson’s wagon. He...well, we rode before together but it wasn’t like he wanted me there...why am I bothered by that anyway? It makes no sense at all.

We all had fun and  _ survived _ . That’s what mattered.

“Barbara?” I look up to see Arthur looking back at me, “Ya should take care of that wound.” 

I blink owlishly at him, “Did you just say my first name without the ‘Miss’?” he looks away, jaw moving anxiously. Then I notice he’s waiting for me, because Sadie and Pearson were by the cook’s wagon already.

“Does it bother ya?”

My mouth curls into a smile, “No,” my voice comes out quiet, almost breathy, "Not at all. I’d prefer it that way.” the confusion I felt seconds ago dissipated into nothing by Arthur’s smile, his head dipping towards his chest with his hat covering most of his face.

“Good.” he looks back up at me, the smile now a bit wider “So do I.”


	15. A Question of Principle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos are the author's fuel! If you like my story please leave a little comment, even if it's an emoji :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YEESSS
> 
> okay 
> 
> im good :)
> 
> im really happy with this fic can you tell???

“That’s not a door wound.”

Madeline says the next morning during breakfast, while I’m busy chewing my oatmeal. I furrow my eyebrows at her, not understanding what she means. She sits beside me by the docks, a place I now think it could become my little personal spot, pulling her skirt up to her knees so the fabric wouldn’t get soaked.

“That’s a bullet wound.”

The oatmeal slides down the wrong side, a cough coming out as I try to cover it with a fist. Madeline was quite sharp, she could read people in a snap of fingers and honestly, I couldn’t really lie to her. “Well,” I cough once more, “Yes, yes it is.” but my response is a whisper so no one hears it.

Her blue eyes blink at me curiously, “Why did you hide what it is then?”

“ _ Because _ it’s not something Arthur wishes to tell Dutch.” I reply just as quietly, moving the oatmeal in circles with the spoon, “And I don’t either so, let’s drop it.”

Madeline purses her lips but follows my request, eating her own breakfast - bread, a crumbly slice of cheese and a cup of coffee- by my side. The camp is fairly silent today, lacking some of its members including Arthur. They all went to Rhodes, following Dutch there because of something of ‘great importance’ he had said last night.

Speaking of Arthur, I can’t help but smile at how he called me by my first name, for the very first time, yesterday. I don’t personally enjoy being called ‘Miss’ but I thought that was Arthur being polite to me, so I never corrected him. It made a happy feeling curl its way inside my chest, as if it was a cat, purring happily while dreaming of big goblets filled with milk.

It was the way he looked at me yesterday, his storm colored eyes shyly moving from his boots back to me, a hint of ‘hope’ hiding behind those colored orbs, that made me feel...things. Things I hadn’t felt in a long long time. But I couldn’t think it’d mean what my brain suggested it was, not yet at least, or I’d make myself a fool in front of him. Perhaps making him uncomfortable even.

The oatmeal is finished, I scrape my spoon against the plate for good measure, licking the last drops while standing to my feet, “I’m going to go see Scotty,” Madeline’s head snaps up to me, “Do you want to come with?”

“Yes!” her smile widened, dimples showing as she shoved the rest of her breakfast inside her mouth, “One mifune!!” she’s on her feet after saying that, yanking my own plate off my hands as she rushes back deep into camp.

Honestly, I was just glad Hosea and Dutch allowed me to leave camp for a few hours. I let them know I’d probably leave every once in a while, but I’d always come back. To be fair, Dutch only said yes because I said I’d bring goods to camp and help them out and after I begrudgingly accepted introducing them to Maggie. I still have to figure out how to make that happen without having my head shot from my shoulders.

Boy I’d have to soften the blow.

I told Hosea I’d be back in at least one hour, already making my way to Persephone with Madeline following close behind. He nodded, told me to stay safe and to have fun, I couldn’t help my laughing. Charles was by the entrance, he was on guard’s duty that morning after all, “Where are you two going?”

I am already settled on Persephone as I look down at him, “Going to meet some of our friends.” he hums, looking between me and Madeline, “We’ll be back soon, I promise.”

“Well,just be careful.” his voice is a bit deeper, with a serious undertone to it. I nod at him, gently patting his shoulder in a friendly manner. Madeline’s face is red underneath the rice powder, but she whispers a thank you his way, not being able to meet his gaze when he looks up at her.

Charles looks a bit confused but allows us to pass, simply giving us another nod before we rode our way out of camp. 

Scotty’s house was in the south of Rhodes, nearing the swamps where the moonshine operation used to run before Maggie changed locations to a deeper area near the woods by the main river. Scotty’s house was far from Rhodes and from the Gray and Braithwaite’s properties, which meant it was so secluded you’d have to know the area really well to find it.

The Lemoyne Raiders tried on many occasions to take over the area, thinking it was an abandoned house with some abandoned animals only to be shot away by Scotty’s family. Seeing they still haven’t learned that it was occupied over the years only proved how dumb they really were.

We rode past Rhodes,thank  **God** because I had enough of that town, curving the Braithwaite’s mansion in a fast gallop before the guards even noticed us passing by, turning on a right towards a tunnel of trees. The huge sequoias formed a wall around us, hiding us from anything and anyone, barely having the gap for a squirrel to pass through between the thick trunks. The space between the sequoias started to get more sparse, which meant we were already onto the road leading to Scotty’s house.

Hills of plush green grass, sprinkled with tiny white flowers greeted us. The Lemoyne heat became unpleasantly humid thanks to the swamps not too far from where we were, a drop of sweat already sliding it’s way down my face to drip down my collarbone. At least I’m using a light colored shirt instead of the usual black shirts I wear. 

The road funneled down to a point Madeline had to step behind me so we could travel, more trees sparsely appearing behind us, the smell of wood and grass mixing. I see the wooden fence surfacing ahead, the gray wooden two story home with the small shack beside it taking form, the sounds of pigs squealing and horse neighing signaling we were almost there.

Scotty’s house was quite big for the area it was in: two stories, gray wooden panels with small windows and a large porch where Scott Sr. was currently sitting, rocking back and forth in his light blue rocking chair with a fat brown cat in his lap. The shack connected right to it’s left was medium sized, dark blue in color with a darker blue double doors, where the one closest to the porch was partially open.

To it’s right was a pigpen and a small stable. Three horses' heads peeked out from the inside, Melvin being the first. The pigpen however had two large pigs and several tiny piglets rolling around in the mud. 

The sound of hooves makes the cat in Scott Sr. 's lap raise it’s head, its master peeking his eyes open and eventually stopping the rocking chair. I see a shotgun resting by the window next to him, ready to grab if needed. His dark blue eyes shine with acknowledgement when he notices it’s us, “Well,well well,” he returns to rocking back and forth, scratching the cat between the ears, “If it ain’t Sophie’s friends.”

“Good morning,Mr.Scott.” I nod, stopping by the main gate, tipping my hat back to the crown of my head, “How are you?”

He purses his lips, “Old.” his red hair has white whiskers mixed in, much like his thick mutton chops. “But I’m alive. Thank ya for askin’. Ya lookin’ for Sophie?”

“Yes sir.” Madeline quips, approaching me within a safe distance since Caramel was a male horse, “Is she around?”

He nods towards the shack, not saying anything else. As if on cue, a small figure walks out, holding one side of a large box and being followed by a taller one who was holding its opposite side. Scotty and her brother. 

Her brother, Jeremiah, was her twin although he was much taller than she was and of course, bigger in musculature. His dark red hair was parted by the middle with bangs dangling by his temples, razor faded around his skull. His face looks up from the action he’s currently doing, the same hazel eyes from his sister meeting our own. 

Jeremiah’s already curled mustache curls a bit more when he opens his mouth, the dark red stubble adorning his square jaw making his face appear just a bit darker underneath his nose, “Oh! Sophie, ain’t those your friends?”

“Huh?” Scotty looks behind her shoulder, groaning while adjusting the box’s weight in her hands, then does a double take. “What in the hell-”

“Language, Sophie,” her father chides, still rocking back and forth.

Immediately Scotty drops the box, or almost does it since Jeremiah quickly gathers it in his hands with an ‘oof!”, pulling it up to chest height while his sister approaches the fence. Scotty’s checkered shirt is rolled to her elbows, the dark suspenders keeping the light brown pants in place, her old boots making noise on the grassy ground towards us.

I offer her a wave, Madeline as well.

Scotty stops a few centimeters away from the fence, then her face drops to unimpressed, ‘I knew it.” she begins, “When I heard ‘bout them raiders dyin’ I knew ya had somethin’ to do with that.”

“Well I’m glad to see you too.” I reply, dryly, “How are you doing?”

“Don’t ya throw that my way.” Scotty warns, one index finger poking my side like a gun, “The hell y’all doin’ in Lemoyne??”

Madeline leans forward so Scotty can see her better, “We had to move camps, we are currently in here.”

Scotty frowns deepens, even if her eyes widen, “Ya tellin’ me Van der Linde is  _ here _ ? In  _ Lemoyne _ ?” she hisses the last part quietly, careful for her father and brother. I nod once, sliding out of Persephone to lean on the fence, crossing my arms to support myself. “Jesus Christ.”

“And yes, we did run into some Raiders.” I answered her words from before, leaning on my weight against the fence, “It was...interesting.”

Scotty’s face flashes with something that akin to recognition, her hands land on her hips “Interestin’ how?”

“I thought you could tell me,” I say quietly, meeting her confused gaze. We held the gaze war for a few minutes, until her father interrupted it by telling Scotty to allow us inside for a glass of water. She sighs, throwing a ‘yes, daddy’ his way, her voice softening for a brief second.

She unlatches the gate so we can step in, nodding her head in the house’s direction, “Y’all can keep the horses ‘round. Jeremiah can bring ‘em some water.” her brother made a noise of complaint, still having a hard time carrying the large box but shut his mouth under his shorter sister’s unamused glare.

We followed Scotty towards the house, nodding to Scott Sr. on our way in, to which he nodded with a smile. The interior was decorated with many trophies, some from Scott Sr. himself and others from Scotty, a round table was in the middle of the room while a staircase and a small door were on its left and right sides, a small kitchen area deeper within the house had a small pitcher of water. “Let’s go towards the back.” she murmurs, turning towards the small door grabbing the pitcher of water and some glasses, not waiting for us.

The back area of the house was surrounded by the same rich wooden fence and another tree wall, hiding it from passersby. In the distance we could hear the sound of horses and the faint smell of swamp water, but it was so far away it was nothing but a whiff in a breeze around us. There was a tree stump with an axe deep within its center, a pile of firewood in the corner by the south end of the fence and a small bench leaning against the same area, just a few centimeters to the right.

Scotty yanked the axe off with ease, tossing it forward so it wedged itself on another tree trunk. Swiping her hand over the stump to clean it, she finally settled herself pouring some water for us then putting the pitcher aside. She pulls out a cigarette from the inside of her boot, a box of matches from its opposite pair, then nods towards the bench, “Sit down.”

It was a tight fit, no doubt this used to be Scotty and Jeremiah’s bench when they were children. I have to cross my legs so Madeling can be comfortable, then I clear my throat, “So.” 

“So.” Scotty repeats, taking a drag of her cigarettes, “Ya saw ‘em.”

“Killed them.” I point to the cut on my cheek, less red than before, “They managed to graze my face.”

Scotty lets the smoke leave her mouth in long waves, almost like snakes, using the fingers that weren’t holding the cigarette in place to scratch her own cheek, “Yeah, they been organized. Too much.” she begins, “Few weeks back me and Jeremiah had to stay on guard cause five of ‘em decided to ride ‘round. I have no idea what happened with ‘em’ but it took a long time to shoot ‘em all down.”

I frown, leaning on the back of the bench with my arm while the other rests on my crossed leg, holding the glass of water, letting it chill my palm “Any idea who is training them?”

“Nah.” she takes another drag, “Not a single clue. Whoever it is it has some special trainin’ that goes past survival.”

Other special training? My mouth curves up in annoyance and I look at my boots. “What other things did they do?” she pauses, trying to remember any other piece of information, only to shake her head.

“I ain’t heard nothin’ yet besides they was gettin’ better.” she sighs, “I don’t know, don’t seem right none, I ain’t ever see ‘em like that. Organized, hidin’ in the shadows? They was never like that.”

That didn’t help much in my investigation, but I couldn’t force more out of Scotty when she had little to tell me after all. I hum, digesting the information before speaking again, “I think it’s wise if we take a look into it.” I swallow a good amount of water after that, my throat scratching thanks to heat.

“Oh, is it?” she laughs, “Only ya would suggest somethin’ like that.”

“It could help you  _ and  _ Maggie.”

Scotty’s eyes meet mine when I mention the old moonshiner, “Speakin’ of her, ya saw her yet?” I stutter a no, throwing the excuse that we’ve been around barely a couple days, “Ya better, she probably already knows ya are here and will find ya and drag ya down.”

I let out a meager whimper, sliding deeper into the bench as if to hide myself, then I cover my face with both hands when I set the glass by the bench’s side, “I know, I know.” I groan, “Doesn’t help Dutch and Hosea want to meet her.”

There’s a pregnant pause after I say that, Scotty leaning forward to yank my hands out of my face, her hazel eyes wide, “What??”

“I--Look it was the only way I could leave without having someone guarding me!”

Scotty stares at me, then at Maddie, then back at me, her eyebrows lowering to form a frown above her eyes,”Ya are jokin’, tell me ya are jokin’.” I shake my head negatively, the redhead dangles her head forward, letting my hands go to straighten herself. She sighs deeply, rubbing her palm’s heels against her eyes before dropping the arms by her sides.

Scotty stares down at me long and hard, “She’s goin’ to kill ya.”

“I know.”

“Slowly.”

I frown “I know.”

“And throw ya to the gators.”

I glared up to Scotty through my lashes, probably the few times where I have to look up at her was when I was sitting down and she was standing up, “I had no choice.”

“Oh I know that,” she taps her cigarette with her thumb, the burnt tobacco fluttering its way down to the ground, a smirk slowly makes it’s way over her lips, “Lemme know when that  _ meetin’  _ happens. I wanna see it.”

Another unimpressed stare passed through my eyes, my lips pursing, “Sure. I’ll remember to send you a letter about it.” my tone drips with sarcasm but she laughs, openly, not even caring what her former words were. “Well, if that’s all the information you can give us-”

“Wait, wait.” Scotty places her hand in front of my face, making sure I’d stay still “What I can do is send y’all letters ‘bout any info I can get. I know them Raiders are attacking a lot of wagons lately. Maybe I can find where they hide ‘em and then we can deal with them. Sounds good?”

I smirk, I knew she’d change her mind. Anything involving killing a Raider she was in, “Sounds perfect. You can send the letter to…” I pause, “Tacitus Kilgore.” she raises one eyebrow at the name, almost disgusted with how it sounded, “It's for the gang to know.”

“Ah. Sure.”

She steps on what was left of her cigarette, snuffing it out with her heel before we make our way back to the front of the house where Jeremiah was removing the empty buckets from beneath our horses’ heads. 

We give Scotty a final wave then trot our way back towards camp. Something in the back of my mind keeps nagging: who would, in their living conscience, waste resources and talent training a bunch of Confederate veterans into becoming better? And for what? For what Goddamn reason? 

I rubbed my chin, holding Persephone’s reins loosely, still trying to wrap my head around the situation. Madeline comes up to me, tilting her head in my direction, “What’s bothering you?”

“I don’t know Maddie, something,” I sigh, “Something seems off.”

She looks down at her gloved hands for a minute, returning her gaze towards me, “Whatever it is I’m sure you’ll find a solution.”

I snorted a laugh, only Madeline to make you feel you were better than you thought you were, “Thank you, Maddie.” I had to tell Arthur about it...and Dutch maybe, when time allowed. We made our way back from Scotty’s house, slower this time. My stomach growled, which meant it was already nearing lunchtime. I rubbed my stomach fondly, frowning when it only growled louder which made Madeline giggle before her own stomach followed suit.

We arrived back in Clemens Point just in time for Arthur and Dutch race past us. Arthur won this race apparently, teasing Dutch about being an old man. The Van der Linde leader looked up from his conversation with Arthur to seize me up with the most charming smile, “Ah, Miss Barbara! How was the conversation with your friend? Any news you’d like to share?”

“None yet Dutch, unfortunately.” I say, hopping out from Persephone’s back, tapping my thighs out of any dust of unwanted particles that could cling to the fabric. “But my friend did let me know about some...incidents.” his eyebrows raised at that, I could see the dollar signs floating in those black eyes of his “She said she’d send any information about them to Tacitus Kilgore...if that’s alright.”

My voice quietened at the end, almost fearful I did something wrong. I was surprised when Dutch patted my shoulder hard, then smiled “Anything to give us more leverage, Miss Barbara. Anything.” he squeezed my shoulder for good measure, or for a threat who knew it really with Dutch Van der Linde, then turned on his heel towards his tent where Miss O’Shea was expecting him by the entrance.

Madeline let me know she’d go ahead and have lunch, asking if she could make me a plate but I declined, telling her I’d follow not soon after. That left me and Arthur, near our mares, looking at one another. His eyes moved directly to the wound on my cheek, “It looks better.” my hand lifts to touch it, I feel the skin already healing.

“Well, Charles told me of an ointment that could heal me up.” I smile, it doesn’t hurt when I smile either, “Faster that is.”

Dust and Persephone look at one another then at us, with the Ardennes huffing through her nose, pushing her forehead against Arthur’s back, almost pushing him forward, “Dust!” he chides, albeit quietly. Persephone does nothing, staying put behind me. “I swear I don’t know what made her like this today.”

“Maybe she’s giving a push forward to have lunch?” I suggest, tilting my head at him, “I know for a fact your last meal was hours ago so, let’s go shall we?” He stares at me intensely, but he grins, dipping his head before giving Dust one final pat on her snout. 

We however, are in no hurry to approach the boiling pot, casually talking about what he did and then I see it--the silver star pinned to his black vest, a sharp contrast that I’ve only noticed now. He sees me looking, peeks downwards then back up at me with a sheepish smile, “Yeah, the sheriff was mighty impressed by us.”

“The sheriff?” Gray? That drunk idiot?

“Yea, we ah,” he scratched his neck while we walked towards the dish basin, he was kind enough to hand one my way, “We helped him with some issues he was havin’.”

“Issues?” I lick my lips, “What sort of issues?”

“They needed help with a ’shine operation goin’ on.” he explains, I follow him close behind to pay attention, “Somethin’ ‘bout losing a lot of income and the good name of the county.” he nods to his left where a wagon filled with moonshine bottles was resting in the shade.

I hum, biting my lower lip. I know for a fact that Maggie is no longer using the swamps and that her bottles have specific markings so it wouldn’t be so easily stolen.I can take that out of the list of problems for now. “And he made you guys deputies.” I finish for him, “Look at you, going up in life.”

Arthur laughs, bending down to pick a spoonful of the stew. I tried to look anywhere but his butt, thinking the sky looked much better --lies-- than that vision. You’d think for someone who rides a horse for a long time he’d have a flat ass but, no. No it was...really, really nice. Too nice. “Ya know, Dutch said the same thing.” he looks at me while he straightens himself, stepping aside so I can get the stew as well, “Considering the state this town is, I s’ppose we is the better part.”

The stew is still thin and watery but it has more meat than before, “I don’t doubt that.” I set the ladle aside to turn to Arthur, only to see he’s still staring at me, jaw moving, as if he is ready to ask me something..and I think I know what it is. “C’mon.” I nudge my head towards the docks, to which he frowns in confusion but follows me nonetheless.

I try to ignore the eyes following us, I already feel Karen’s smirk burning its way on my back. Cautiously I sit down by the edge, setting the small bowl aside to remove my boots,scooting forward to let the water touch my feet. I look up at Arthur, seeing him hesitantly look down at me, “It’s really nice.” I reassure him.

“I’m sure it is.” he chuckles “But I don’t wanna spoil your lunch with my ugly feet.”

My eyes roll before I can help it, tugging his pants a little bit, “Just sit down, you big baby. You don’t have to take your boots off, just keep me company.” 

At that he relaxed,so I offer to hold his plate while he settles himself down,sitting by the edge alongside me and when he’s comfortable I return his plate to him. We eat in silence for a couple minutes, just the sound of water and nature -and some talking- surround us. I bite a hard piece of meat, feeling my jaw crack when I chew it, “Hm.” I purse my lips, “You know what would be really good?” he hums, waiting for me to continue.

“Ram.” I smile, “Ram with herbs, maybe some home made bread.” just the image of it floating in my brain was enough to make my eyes flutter closed. “Oh, and sheep butter. Ugh, sheep butter is...delicious.”

Arthur chuckled, moving his spoon around the stew, “That sounds mighty tasty.”

“I honestly can’t remember the last time I’ve had a ram like that.” I tap the spoon against my lips, “Or even, ram stew with bone broth...and potatoes. You know? When they are” I make a grabby motion with my hand, biting my lower lip, “Just the perfect way, not too soft nor too firm...I know Pearson is doing what he can with what we have but sometimes you just…”

Misses it.

I missed it. A lot.

Arthur looked from his plate to me, then cleared his throat, “Well, there is a uh…” he licks his lips nervously, “Me an’ John, while patrollin’, we saw a big ram by the north. We can always hunt it.”

“Oh!” I couldn’t help but perk up, “Oh if you and John did that it’d be really--”

“No, no no, not me an’ John.” was it me or were his cheeks flushed, “I meant...me an’ ya. Huntin’.”

Oh.

My cheeks must’ve turned redder than before, but that was incredibly sweet. It was the first time he willingly wanted me to go with him somewhere, anywhere really, and after I mentioned something I used to like a lot? My heart skipped a beat, the cat inside my heart seemed to purr louder, warming me from the inside. “I..sure. Sure! When could we go?”

His eyes shine and he smiles down his almost empty plate, “Well...I was thinkin’ maybe later today? It’s a two days journey too, could be good to take somethin’ from here and then go huntin’.” 

Considering we got food yesterday it made sense. Food in camp went by fast and a huge ram would help with something better to eat. “That sounds fine by me.” he smiled from under his hat, finishing what was left of his stew but he stayed by me while I ate. Just watching the water in silence.

I couldn’t help but peek at Arthur from the corner of my eye, seeing his form leaning back with his arms supporting him, a pleased little smile dancing over his face, something that made me smile in return. 

This feeling was...scary. Especially after so long, but I’d want it to stay. I hope it’d keep my chest warm and my stomach fluttering with butterflies. It was barely anything serious, but just...this, this thing Arthur was doing was already weaving its way deep within me.


	16. All I Have To Do Is Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos are the author's fuel! If you like my story please leave a little comment, even if it's an emoji :)
> 
> enjoy the chapter!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OHHOHOHOHOHOHOHO we are gettin' somewhere folks.
> 
> but i should warn you, I'm a huge fan of drama and mutual pining >:3c so expect some stuff happening real soon.

Maybe I looked way too excited to go hunting than I thought I did.

Maybe the idea of spending some time with Arthur did make my heart flutter with excitement.

Maybe I was being a fool just as for now and should only enjoy the superficial part of this hunting trip.

While Hosea and Dutch tried to figure out what to do with the stolen moonshine, me and Arthur packed the horses with dry foods and water for the hunting trip. It’d take us two long days to travel towards the said ram’s location, and two days to travel back to Clemens Point. It meant we’d be away from camp for four days, thankfully with Arthur suggesting the ram for a future meal Pearson quickly endorsed his idea in leaving camp, helping the decision when Arthur talked to Dutch.

Dutch, while hesitant, accepted the proposition with some nudging from Hosea. The latter even gave me a small smile, almost pleased with himself.

I awaited for Arthur on Persephone’s back,near the entrance. A hint of uneasiness climbed its way inside my chest and I unconsciously looked down at myself to check if I appeared to be...good. I snort in disbelief, shaking my head trying to ignore it only to look back down and yank one loose thread from the tiny embroidered pink flowers that adorned the shirt’s chest. I’ve never noticed they were there before.

Footsteps made me stop analyzing my own shirt. I already look up with a small smile when Arthur climbs over Dust’s back, the Ardennes barely moving under his weight, “So, are we good to go?”

“I am if ya are.” he smirks at me, and yet again, my heart clenches. I nod mutely, allowing him to step forward and lead the way. He looks back at me when we are out of camp, so I trot by his side, keeping up with him, “For a while I’ve been wantin’ to kill this one.'' he pulls out a map, where tiny drawings of what seemed to be other creatures were crossed over, “I’ve killed one in the Heartlands a few months back.”

He taps the ‘O’ in Lemoyne, the paper crinkling under his finger, “He’s here. Don’t think I’ve seen somethin’ that big in a while.”

I gently grab the map from his hand, looking at every crossed animal with curiosity, “You got all of them?” I notice Arthur shift by my side, I look back to see him looking back at me.

“Maybe I did.” He mutters, the ghost of a smile daring to make its way known “Why?”

“Nothing. I’m just curious.” 

“The bear I hunted with Hosea,” he chuckles, remembering the occurrence, “More like it hunted us. I have his pelt saved for when it gets too cold.” he looks down at his holster, where I can notice it’s intricate designs, tilting it so I can get a better look, “See this?” I squint my eyes at one black conical claw, as big as my middle finger, sitting in the middle of Arthur’s holster, “His claw.”

The bear must’ve been huge! “Wow,” I smile, leaning back to send him a look, “How did you and Hosea survive that?”

“I shot the son of a bitch down before he could get us.”

He said it with a laugh but there was a shadow of confidence hovering over his words, or pride. Arthur seemed to consider Hosea a lot, same with Dutch but I believe Hosea was more of the...responsible father figure in Arthur’s life. I wouldn’t blame him, Hosea was a good man, highly skilled and would definitively shoot anyone within a 10 miles radius, but still good.

We check the map every now and again, continue trotting, I tell him about known Lemoyne Raiders hiding spots so we can avoid the main roads and use the hills instead, arriving on the ram’s location safely. Civilization started to disappear, the wildlife taking its place. We passed the creek from before and my eyes zeroed back on the sandbank where I saw the black coyote.

And there it was. Looking back at me.

For a moment I was sure I was hallucinating, it was in the same sitting position as before. Completely alone, no other coyotes nearby, nothing. Not even birds. I clenched my eyes tight, shaking my head, certain this was my brain playing me tricks but when I opened, it remained still.

I didn’t notice I stopped, but Arthur did. Swiping his head left to right, looking for me and then finally seeing me behind him, watching the small animal. He turned Dust around, clopping his way over and finally following my gaze, “That’s a big coyote.” that line snaps me out of my constant debate if this was real or not, “And has a darker coat too.”

“I saw it when we got to Lemoyne.” The coyote remained immobile, wind gently ruffling the fur around its neck “Just...staring at me.”

“It ain’t attackin’ the horses, it ain’t hungry.” Arthur looked at me when I didn’t reply, Persephone’s head tilting in his direction when he moved Dust closer, close enough so he could touch my shoulder, “It’s just a curious coyote, it ain’t goin’ to do nothin’.”

I purse my lips in a hum, keeping the coyote’s gaze in mine for a few minutes before sighing, “You are right. I shouldn’t think about this too much.” as much as it made my gut churn with uneasiness when I said that. Slapping on a smile, way too eager to drop the subject, I fix myself on the saddle, my thighs holding onto Persephone’s ribs tightly “Well! Let’s keep on moving!”

I don’t give him enough time for a response, with a brief kick to Persephone’s ribs she darts off. Arthur’s shocked ‘hey!’ becomes quieter the further I get from him, but I eventually hear Dust’s heavy hooves hitting the ground, following me. It was a playful race, nothing serious, I just wanted to forget about the coyote or if it meant something in my life. 

It was something a friend told me long ago. Animals can have symbolism in our lives. _ ‘Even the smallest of flies’ _ he had said then, pinching his index and thumb together to stare between the small space  _ ‘Can be of great importance in what happens to you.’ _

“Come on!” I shout over my shoulder, seeing Arthur picking up the pace to stand by my side. Both mares panting harshly due to the strength needed in this race, but never stopping, simply following what we were doing. My hair moves thanks to the wind, bangs moving wildly and my braid is no longer resting by my shoulder, the velocity making it appear like it’s floating behind my head. 

I don’t know how long this race of ours took, but it was long enough for the sun to set and animals to start hiding. I gawked when Arthur passed me in our race, stopping a few minutes before I did only to smirk at me, “I won.”

“How?!” I gasp, Persephone breathing heavily, both of us staring at Arthur.

Dust’s big brown eyes blinked, she lifted her head as if to appear smug, enjoying Arthur’s caressing down her neck, “My girl is faster than she appears to be, ain’t that right girl?” he scratched her behind the ears which made the horse lean into his touch.

  
  


“I’ll let it go because she’s cute.” I quip, sliding out of the saddle about the same time Arthur did. We ended up stopping in a small clearing, surrounded by trees with a little stream running not too far from where we were. I give Perse some dried up raspberries to which she gobbles it up immediately, nosing my hand for more.

Arthur looks behind him towards me, pulling his tent from Dust’s saddle, “Oh so she’s cute, huh?” he asks and I nod without looking at him, “Not the cowboy that rides her?”

A side of my mouth lifts up in a smirk when I pull out my own sleeping supplies from Persephone, “Oh I don’t think cute would be the word I’d describe you.” I spun around to face his shocked look, a look that turned a bit darker, waiting for an explanation “Adorable would be better.”

“ _ Adorable _ ?!”

“Yes, sir! Adorable Arthur Morgan!”

He grumbled a bit under his breath, “I ain’t adorable.”

“I disagree.” I looked around the clearing, mentally glad we got some firewood from the camp before we got here so we could start a fire pit without much worry. Arthur pulled out something folded in a white fabric: two medium sized fish that no doubt was from his adventure with Hosea and Dutch a couple days ago, already clean and gutted.

The horses are by a small stream nearby, taking long gulps of water to replace the liquid lost with that race while I made myself busy lighting the fire, watching the small ember turn into a bigger flame, crackling the wood thanks to the heat. I hover my hands next to the fire, letting the warmth touch my palms before rubbing them together, my eyes looking up at Arthur as he stabs one piece of fish in his knife offering me the other one so I can do the same.

“Are we even close?” I ask Arthur, sitting down near him and grabbing the fish, hovering it over the fire.

“Well, we covered a lot of ground in our race,” I looked up at him for a brief moment,he turned his knife back and forth so the fish would cook, ”Maybe we’ll get there sooner than expected.”

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah.” he smirks and I can’t help but stare.

The orange light bounces around his face beautifully, from his eyes down his nose then his lips and jawline. He’s extremely attractive, painfully so. The stubble has gotten a bit thicker but I could still see his skin sparsely around underneath the whiskers and without his hat I could see the razor fade area of his head had grown hair again, while he still had the longer part brushed back.

I continue staring at him, my cheeks heating up with the acknowledgement that something is indeed going on deep inside of me. But I still...fear talking about it. Of course flirting is one thing, but Arthur has a sweetheart. At least, he still cared about her from what I’ve heard the others around camp talking about.

Or did they finally cut things short? 

Would he even be flirting with me if he were still with her?

Was Arthur...like that? Like Ashton used to b-

“Barbara.” a hand wraps itself around my wrist, moving my own hand from the fire. I blink in shock, looking back at Arthur who’s staring at me with worry in his gaze, “Ya almost burnt dinner.” looking back at the fish’s white meat I see parts of black charr forming in the corners, a contrast from the golden crisp that surrounded it.

“Oh, sorry.” I could only laugh lamely, “I guess I got distracted.” I flip the fish again so it’s opposite side could brown better than it did. I could feel Arthur’s gaze on me, his fingers slowly letting go of my wrist, albeit indecisive if he truly should. Trying to ease his own worries, sending him a smile, “I’m fine. Don’t worry.”

“Ya get like that a lot.” he murmurs, “Starin’ at nothin’, as if ya saw somethin’ ya didn’t like.” 

I frowned briefly, then forced a small smile, “I...I have a lot in my mind.”

Arthur sighs through his nose, pinching a side of the fish to see if it cooked, licking his fingers clean of it’s juices then putting back on the fire. We fall into silence that breaches the uncomfortable and I feel bad for breaking the mood like that, flitting my gaze to Arthur every now and again, finally choosing to say something, “You know…” I lick my lips, “How about when we find the ram I cook us something?”

He blinks in surprise, tilting his head at me, “Ya cook?”

“Of course I cook! I don’t have a personal chef traveling with me all the time Arthur,” I smile, gently shouldering his side, “If this ram is as big as you say, it’s better if we cut it in large pieces, better for traveling and bringing back into camp.”

One of his eyebrows went up, a smile dancing over his lips, “And how would ya cook it then?”

“Depending what piece we could use, I could use salt and herbs and have it roasting in the fire.” I smile, “I got a bit of salt from Pearson’s wagon.”

“...Pearson has salt??”

“He does. Probably counts every grain before adding it to the food.”

Arthur looks shocked, shaking his head in disbelief and I don’t blame him. Pearson’s stew is as spiced as a glass of water, and as liquid too. He finally looks back at the fish, satisfied with how it looked, pulling back to blow the steam off, keeping his eye on me, “Where ya goin’ to find herbs?”

I blow on my own fish, cautiously taking a bite of the side, chewing on it with my mouth partially open so the steam could fly away from my mouth, “I’ve seen some oregano nearby, I could grab some. We don’t have oil but we could use some of the ram’s fat to mix it and spread evenly.”

He slowly chews the fish, following every word I say with interest, then chuckles, “Well, that I want to see. Who knows, maybe ya is goin’ to take Pearson’s place as the cook.”

“I’d be a better cook than him, that’s for sure.” I murmur, ripping a piece of fish with my fingers, chewing on it and already missing adding something to the white meat. I could go for the salt but I was tired and a bit sore, plus Persephone was resting by the little stream alongside Dust.

Still feeling like talking, I look back at the Ardennes with a small smile, “How did you and Dust meet?” Arthur looks back at the horse, a fond smile on his face.

“Got her in Valentine.” he begins, “Fell in love with her when I saw her face. She was the only female there, the biggest horse too. They told me people was too scared of her size. But she’s gentle as a kitten.” as if feeling we were talking about them, both mares lifted their heads to look back at us, “She’s my good girl.”

I lick my lips unconsciously, unsure why that line made a shiver run through me. Maybe it was the way he toned it, or...I was just being silly. “She’s a beautiful horse.”

“Yes. And if it helps yer horse ain’t half bad. She just hates me.”

“You are a man, she dislikes men and male horses in general.” I chew the fish again, swallowing, then continuing, “I think she was too young when they separated her from her mother, then when she was old enough they tried to breed her but she was...scared? Then the fear turned into violence, they considered putting her down if I hadn’t showed up when I did...and my old horse, well.”

Amaranth, I missed him.

“Did he...die?”

“Well, he was already old.” I smile bitterly, looking down at my boots, “When I was about to be sent to prison he was the one that helped me out, but he was so sick and--”

“Woah, woah,” he holds up a hand, leaning back in his seat with wide eyes, “Ya never said ya went to prison!”

“You never asked.”

Arthur sputters, face contorting with shock, then he blinks digesting the information, “Well I’m sorry ma’am. Next time I’ll question about yer run ins with the law if I want to know more ‘bout ya.” he sounded annoyed but he had a smile on his face, a glint in his eye, “Why were ya arrested?”

I rip another piece of fish, fiddling with it in my fingers, “I was accused of something I didn’t do.” I plop the piece inside my mouth, turning my face towards him, “In Blackwater.”

Arthur’s smile drops minutely and his body tenses up at the mention of the said place that had given the gang so much trouble. I could feel how bothered he was by knowing that, by remembering what happened back then, but he let me continue.

“I went to Blackwater to...look for someone.” I suck in a deep breath, unsure but at the same time thinking he should know about it, about Paola, “My sister. I’ve gotten news she was in Blackwater.”

“I didn’t know ya had a sister.” he comments, then holds up his hand when I’m about to open my mouth, “I didn't ask, I know. Don’t be so cheeky.”

My smile widens as another piece of fish comes apart in my tongue, “I don’t like telling people about her, or about me really. It’s….complicated? I have so much stuff I’ve been through that I don’t know where to start.”

Arthur fidgets by my side, moving a little closer to me, his presence comforting,”Like...Cornwall?” I stiffen at the name, moving my gaze away and nodding. He doesn’t prod about it, which I’m glad, but he keeps his gaze on me. “...how did ya escape?”

My mouth curls into a smirk, remembering that day with a fondness I had no idea if it should be there: nine women all dressed in stripes, me being probably the youngest around, on our way to Sisika Penitentiary I was so confused and angry and all I wanted to do was cry. But I held back, choosing to glare at the ground instead. That is until Horley appeared out of nowhere, shotgun in hand, ordering the guards to let us go. I was hungry, starved, my muscles hurt so much he had to drag me out towards the sick horse.

“I was hallucinating you know?” I chuckle bitterly, “I haven’t had anything but lukewarm dirty water and old bread in...weeks. I had to break the biggest rocks with a hammer that was the size of my whole body while I felt malnourished as a runt.” a frown passes through my face, “If it wasn’t for Jessica I would’ve-- I--...I wouldn’t be here, right now.”

I owed her so much. She was a friend of mine, she helped me when I couldn’t even help myself, gave me what I needed to have and what I needed to know. She made me meet people: Cripps,Maggie, Gus, Harriett...hell even Sean! If it wasn’t for her I don’t think I would’ve made this far. 

Arthur watched me with an indescribable gaze, I’m not sure if he’s pitying me or actually glad he heard my story. “Ya are stronger than ya appear to be, Barbara,” he lowers his voice, moving his gaze back to what was left of his dinner impaled on his hunting knife. The fire light making it seem his cheeks were red...or were they red? 

“Well,” I shrug, finishing the dinner with a small smile, “Most people look at me and just see a female gunslinger. I try to not give out much for the audience.”

“Oh,” he chuckles, “The audience?”

“Of course! An actor’s job is to pay a role and then,” I turn my hand around itself, ‘When you least expect it, there’s more!”

Arthur laughs under his breath, deep and quiet, “Ya are one strange woman.” there’s a fondness when he speaks, or at least I think there is, but I do not question him about it. 

“You wouldn’t have me any other way.” it comes out before I notice it, my eyes immediately widening at how it sounded. I didn't meet his gaze, although I could feel it burning my cheek. I shakily rise to my feet, clenching my knife and yanking his out of his grip to clean the blades by the stream. 

Some distance would be good. 

Dust and Persephone look at me from where they were, curious as to why I looked so flustered no doubt. Wetting a rag I quickly clean the blades with a nervousness I never had before. I feel hot, nearing feverish -- probably the immense embarrassment-- as I try to focus on the task at hand. My knife is clean so I slide it back to the leather sheath on my back, turning my gaze on Arthur’s knife.

My face feels hot but I try to distract myself with the intricate designs on the blade: a beautiful engraving of a buck facing the viewer, with mountains behind it and thick trees. Traveling my gaze down towards the handle, I see the same buck, except now it’s full body appearing, head once again tilted to the viewer.

I spent a good time looking at it, rubbing my thumb over the indentations and grooves that formed the figures. I don’t know why but it is so...Arthur in a way I cannot fully explain. Satisfied with the cleaning, and now a little less embarrassed by my own stupid mouth, I turn back to Arthur, surprised to see he unfolded my bedroll and his. Each of them on opposite sides to the fire.

He had his back to me, taking a sip from his canteen when he heard the ground beneath my feet move, tilting his head in my direction. I offer him a shy smile, holding his knife out for him to take, “It’s clean.” I mutter, quickly moving my hand away when he picks it from my palm. Arthur places it back in it’s sheath after setting the canteen down so he could stand and face me fully.

Suddenly I feel so small, which was surprising considering how tall I was, next to him. I fold my hands nervously, moving my eyes to the ground then the trees. “Thank you for um…” I nod in my bedroll’s direction, “For setting it up for me.”

“It ain’t a problem.” he says back, just as quietly, he is standing dangerously close to me. I could smell the leather and sweat and fire emanating from him, “Why don’t ya sleep? I’ll take watch.”

“Are you sure?”

Arthur’s eyes soften, a small smile on his face and he sighs. Deeply. But not the annoyed sigh. A sigh that made my heart twist inside it confines, “I sure am.” he tilts his head towards my bedroll, “Go ahead, don’t ya worry none.”

I wanted to say something, to apologize? To...I don’t know, tell him I sometimes can’t hold my own words? Even if part of me truly wanted to say it? Ugh, feelings are confusing. I just nod at him, offering a smile while I sit down on my bedroll, toeing my boots off.

The moment my lower back touches the bedroll I can feel my body turn heavy with fatigue. I groan, flopping myself down the bedroll, facing Arthur who sat himself on his side of the fire. He is looking at me again, his gaze moves away briefly but I see his mouth twitching in a smile.

“Good night,Arthur.” I murmur, sliding my hands under my cheek with my eyes fluttering closed, I almost don’t hear his reply, his quiet good night was enough to make me feel lighter than before.


	17. Hunting Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos are the author's fuel! If you like my story please leave a little comment, even if it's an emoji :)
> 
> enjoy the chapter!!

“That is a…” I purse my lips, trying to bring back the name “A cigar orchid! Also known as  _ Cypripedium punctatum!”  _ The yellow orchid remained immobile in it’s spot by the tree trunk as I stared at it from the road. We’ve left the clearing a few minutes before, choosing it’d be better if we left early to reach the ram’s location. In the meantime, I ended up muttering plant names and scientific names to myself and Arthur as we rode towards our location. 

I hear a chuckle, looking back at Arthur who is holding one of Dust’s reins with a hand while the other stays atop his thigh, “Ya know an awful lot ‘bout plants, don’t ya?”

“I like plants.” I start, leaning forward a bit to grab a tiny leaf from the ground, smelling it. Peppermint. “Knowing plants can save your life, you know?” I wave the little leaf in my hand before popping it into my mouth, cringing a bit at the bitter taste that soon dissolved into it’s usual refreshing taste. 

“Is that how ya know them strange names?”

My chewing becomes slower while my eyes travel to the next yellow orchid climbing up the thick tree trunk, “When I was at the orphanage there was a book, this big.” I measured the size by giving my palms space, “With a blue cover, called  _ Encyclopedia Botanica _ . I’d spend hours reading every page, seeing what the plant was, memorizing everything. Especially it’s meanings.”

“Oh plants have meanings now?”

“Yes, they do.” I tap my chin, thinking, “Let’s say you want to give John a flower--” he glares at me, about to interrupt my explanation but I laugh, holding my hands up “It’s just an example! Just an example! If you were to give him a flower, you could give him a yellow rose. It means friendship.”

His storm colored eyes stay on me for a while, jaw ticking annoyingly at my suggestion of giving John a flower of all things “What if I wanted to give him one that meant he’s dumbass?”

“A purple geranium.” I say, without skipping a beat.

He stares at me for a couple seconds, then shakes his head away to laugh to himself. I have no doubt he’d consider giving John a bouquet of geraniums, more like he’d slam the flowers to his face. “So,” his chuckling diminishes, “What other plants mean somethin’?”

“Well, most flowers represent love, but the colors they have can mean other things. For example...a clematis means mental beauty but if you give someone an evergreen clematis it means foolishness.” I can’t help but grin at his face: he went from interested to confused in a matter of seconds, “A crimson rose means mourning, while a red rose means love.” 

He frowns, “But ain’t they all red?”

“Well, yes, but like I said, different tones can change the meaning, so always be careful with that.”

Arthur hums quietly to himself, taking everything I said into consideration. I sigh deeply through my nose, watching the leaves flutter around with the wind as Persephone and Dust slowly walk, “And um,” he clears his throat, making my attention drift back to him, “Ya have any flowers? That ya enjoy the meanin’ of?”

I blink, furrowing my eyebrows trying to remember, “Oh!” I grin, “I do have one in particular I enjoy a lot, the hydrangea. It means gratitude for being understood and honest emotions.” a pause, “But I really like the snapdragon too, it means grace and deviousness at the same time…”

It was as if Arthur asked who my favorite child was even though I had no children. 

His eyebrows lifted a bit in surprise, looking to the side to mumble something to himself I couldn’t hear. It was like he was repeating the names I’ve said to him. A sudden tightness appeared in my chest and I looked at my hands, “Honestly…” I laugh softly, “You’ll probably think it’s silly but...when I was younger I’ve always dreamed of having a huge garden.” 

I still remembered me supporting myself on the window sill of our little house, watching the florist down the street set up his arrangements for that day. Every time we walked past I’d lean closer to a flower near the ground to sniff the center, while my mother held my hand waiting for me. “We didn’t have much money, you know? But my father--When he started working, he managed to buy us a small bouquet of daisies so we’d keep it by the dining table. It didn’t last long unfortunately, but it was the prettiest thing I’ve seen at the time.”

When we moved to Uncle Matias farm, my aunt told me I could have my own small garden there, even separating a patch of land for when I was old enough to. But alas, it didn’t happen either. Over time that small interest of mine got diminutive enough to be forgotten in a corner of my brain, even if I did read the book in the orphanage it just felt strange to think about it. So it wasn’t until I met Harriett again that the interest returned.

I didn’t look in his direction, embarrassed about sharing that small part of me I usually kept to myself in fear of being ridiculed by others. Because I didn’t want to be considered ‘delicate’ because of that, I went through too much and had to prove myself many times to people, showing I wasn’t a frail dame that barely knew how to use a gun.

“It ain’t silly.” his voice takes a soft intonation to it. My gaze slowly meets his, trying to see if he’s pulling a joke at me or not, but he’s just giving me the smallest of smiles. “If it’s somethin’ ya like, it ain’t silly at all.”

The heat on my cheeks return and I look away from him to hide how red my cheeks have probably gotten, not helping the small grin that started to form. It was incredibly sweet, something I should’ve expected of Arthur -- he did support the girls at camp, including Sadie and Madeline, I still remember how she sat down next to him and asked for his input in a certain scene she was writing-- but I was so used on that specific interest of mine be considered frivolous I was left speechless for a few seconds.

Clearing my throat since it got suddenly dry, I offered a quiet ‘thank you’ his way, trying to calm my cheeks so they’d return to the original color. It was so silly of me of course, to have my body react the way it did, but it couldn’t be helped. The guilt of my plants knowledge wasn’t as heavy now, maybe I wouldn’t have to hide it as often anymore.

A sudden snap of branches breaks me out of my own thoughts, both Arthur and myself tugging the reins back so the horses would stop. I just noticed we entered a thicker wooded area, there were no more orchids, just hummingbird sage that danced against the soft wind. It was eerily quiet.

Arthur’s breathing took a deeper range when he sucked in a breath, grabbing the rifle from behind him then flicking his chin at me to do the same. He didn’t have to tell me twice, my arm reached backwards so I could slip the rifle into my hand, slowly moving so it rested against my thighs.

Persephone’s ears flattened on top of her skull, Dust snorted while stomping her hoof on the ground. Whatever it was, it bothered the horses greatly. Arthur slowly climbed off Dust, gently pushing her back to a safer location while I followed suit with Persephone, with some resistance because she didn’t want to leave me, stepping closer to Arthur with a frown.

Yet another branch snapped and I moved my gaze to Arthur only to see him looking back at me, his jaw moving with uncertainty. The bushes before us moved and I held my breath, cocking the rifle and barely capturing the sound of Arthur repeating the process himself. I lift the rifle to my left eye, breathing softly and as quiet as I could.

Then it comes out.

I hear Arthur’s breath stutter, “It’s...him.” he whispers, not moving his gaze away “It’s the ram I talked about.”

It was a giant thing, muscular and with a black coat, his horns curved up and around his ears where the pointed ends almost criss crossed before his eyes, in a grimly shade of brownish red. Currently it was busy sniffing the ground, plucking a tiny dandelion from the grass to chew on it. Luckily we were against the wind, he wouldn’t be able to whiff our scent but we were extremely close, at least twelve feet.

We stayed quiet, unmoving. If we tried to hide ourselves it’d run away but if we did nothing the outcome would be the same. I looked back at Arthur, waiting for an instruction on what should be done, then flicked my gaze back to the giant ram when he didn’t say anything, probably just as surprised as I was.

It was nowhere near the location Arthur pointed out, in fact, it was closer to the small clearing where we camped before. We saw no tracks of him nearby, or of any animal his size really, it was confusing if not weirdly lucky how we finally saw him. 

The ram raised his head suddenly and we quickly moved the rifles up to aim, but the ram wasn’t bothered by us. Something else called his attention, something that quickly made him skip away from us, disappearing once again into the bushes. A pang of disappointment darted through me, being quickly replaced by shock when something bigger than the ram rushed out of the treeline: a black bear.

Oh great.

Persephone and Dust quickly rushed away, the noise making the giant bear stop its current chase to look at us. Dark eyes like the pits of hell itself, it’s nostrils flaring.

“Arthur.” I whisper, a wave of fear climbing up my spine. I gulped, seeing the bear’s attention was on us now but neither of us even shot it’s way. I was about to shoot him when the ram returned, slamming it’s horns deep in the bear’s side, making it lose its balance. 

I am yanked away before I can notice, Arthur quickly takes me further away and I allow it, daring to look back at the bear and ram still fighting: the latter having a clear advantage of being smaller and faster than the giant bear. It roared, swiping it’s claws in the ram’s direction, trying to slash the flesh only for the ram to bounce himself against a tree trunk and slam his head hard into the bear’s snout.

“Arthur!” I shout, still looking back and still being dragged away, “Did you see that?!”

“Too busy right now, darlin’!”

The roaring becomes fainter, we are no longer in the thick forest anymore, instead we hide ourselves in a broken stone cabin...well, it was mostly walls without a ceiling but enough for us to take a breather. I slam my back into the wall, holding the rifle tight against my chest while Arthur supports himself on the wall in front of me, tilting his head back while his chest heaves, trying to regain any sort of control.

I feel like my heart will leap out of my chest. I dare a peek out of the broken windows, seeing the thick forest in the distance but no bear nor ram coming out of it. My body feels tired so I allow myself to slide down the wall until my behind hits the rotten wooden floor, pulling my knees to my chest so I could rest my elbows above them. 

We are still trying to wrap our minds into what just happened, hence the silence around us and because we wanted to see if the bear decided that a pair of humans would be better than a small ram. I press the back of my hand against my eyes, the rifle still tight in my opposite hand’s grasp, and I sigh shakily, “I think my heart will jump out of me.” I say after a while.

My eyes are covered but I hear Arthur let out a breathy laugh, albeit a quiet one, “Ya ain’t the only one.” I hear the sound of fabric moving, lifting my hand to peek at Arthur sliding against the wall himself, one of his legs straight in front of him while the other is used to support his own rifle. “He was a big one.”

“Both of them.” I murmur, remembering the size of that black bear made me shudder without thinking “I’ve never seen a black bear that big...how hungry do you think it must’ve been?”

Arthur offers me a weak shrug, huffing out a breath, “Starvin’ if it came all the way down here.” 

I sigh deeply, letting my eyes close for a while, heartbeat finally deciding to ease into a healthy thrum when the danger passes. A final breath of air leaves my nostrils, the back of my head hitting the wall and my gaze turns towards the blue sky, seeing the clouds rolling by gently. I don’t know how long we stayed like that, but I finally decided to cut the silence with a question, “Sooo,” I drawled, “You wanna get back there and you know, try and get the ram?”

Arthur chortles, “If the bear didn’t get it first.”

“Honestly the ram was giving the bear a run for his money. You didn’t see what he did.”

Something in Arthur’s gaze changes, his head turning to face me while he remains in the same pose as before, tipping his hat back to the crown of his head, “I ain’t sure if it’s a good idea for us to return there. Especially ‘cause of the giant black bear in that area.”

Pursing my lips I ended up nodding in agreement, but I still couldn’t help but think about the ram, “Why do you think it was here?” I ask, not receiving an answer so I specified, “The ram, it’s really far from where you saw him, isn’t it?”

Arthur keeps his eyes on me for a second, removing his hat to run his fingers through the longer hair atop of his head, scratching the scalp, “I ain’t sure, but I suspect it wasn’t because of the bear. Maybe somethin’ else drove him out of his area.”

“Ah,” I grimace, “What a lovely thought. What could drive a giant ram away from his little patch of land besides an equally large black bear?” he chuckles, setting the rifle atop of his lap and crossing his arms. I had to admit I was a bit disappointed about not having the ram, but then again, it was more preferable than the outcome of certain  _ death _ . 

I turn my head to look back outside, checking to see if any of our wild friends have walked out. I widen my eyes, “Arthur,” I beckon him with a hand, he keeps himself low to kneel beside me by the window, his mouth parting in surprise at what he sees.

The ram. With his horns stained with blood,the bright red contrasting with the horns faded vermillion, was stepping out from the treeline. Both of us place our hands by the window sill, shoulders touching, “I can’t believe it.” he murmurs, shaking his head “Ya think he--”

“There  _ is  _ blood isn’t it?” I whisper, just as shocked, “Jesus I’ve never seen anything like this.”

The ram shakes his head back and forth, blood ends up splattering over his snout but he appears unaffected. Even from this distance I can see it. It’s with a frown that I say to Arthur “...maybe we should leave the bear killing ram alone.” I pause, “Because you know, it...killed a bear. I don’t think we have a good chance.”

Arthur hums thoughtfully, eyes still locked on the black ram, who now decided to hop back its way inside the woods, disappearing from our view. “Well,we still got the bear.” he says after a while, tilting his head towards me. I blink twice as I look at him, then I nod with a shrug because he’s right.

It was then I noticed how close we were. I could see every individual whisker that made Arthur’s stubble, hell his eyes. His eyes were so...beautiful, I don’t think I’ve ever seen eyes like his before and I still didn’t know if they were green or blue. And he had long lashes as well, a dark golden color, nearing brown but not quite there yet.

Arthur’s eyes dart all around my face, flicking downwards towards my lips where it stays for a minute, then he clears his throat and stands up, “We, uh, better check on it.” the bear. Right.

“Yes! Of course.” my voice comes out higher, I can’t help but cringe at myself. I follow Arthur outside with my hands cupping my cheeks, trying in some stupid way to cool them down by patting my fingers against the flushed flesh. So what if that happened? The last time I was that close with a man was ages ago, so that was why I was acting like that.

Not because of any other reason  _ at all _ .

We walk back towards the woods when the bloody ram disappears, which should be comforting but knowing that it killed a bear with its horns and it was now hidden somewhere behind the bushes around us just made us more weary. Dust and Persephone slowly returned, cautious steps halting at a safe distance from the woods but still in our line of sight. 

The smell of blood entered my nose the deeper we got, walking towards the last location we saw the two fighting. And,I don’t know why I was so surprised, the bear was there, lying on it’s side, dead.

There were areas where the blood had seeped to the black fur, matting it to it’s skin. The largest wound was on its chest, no doubt the ram hit the heart and cut the bear’s life short. I slowly approached the body, using the end of my rifle to bump the head, only to see it be pushed by it then roll back to it’s original position. 

“Yeah, it’s really dead.” Arthur surrounds the bear to stand in front of me, pulling out his knife. I can feel he’s trying to figure out where to start. I purse my lips, tilting my head to the fallen animal, “How about we both skin him and then start separating the parts?” I make invisible lines over the bear with my fingers, “It’s a big guy, or girl, I don’t know. It’d be easier if we did it together.”

“That ain’t a bad idea.” Arthur rubbed his chin, stepping over the dead bear to stand next to me, “Ya got yer knife?” I pull it out of its sheath, wiggling it about with my fingers. He chuckles, nodding down towards the bear and we both kneel in front of it.

Without that much danger anymore both our horses decided it was a good idea to return, standing about five feet from where we were, watching us. The pelt was rolled up then set aside, while myself and Arthur started cutting the meat by pieces. It was a large animal so we decided it’d be a good idea to get the best parts and let the rest for other animals to feast on. 

We cleaned the bear the best we could, leaving only the guts and parts of the upper back and legs behind. The cut meat was wrapped in a thick linen cloth so the blood wouldn’t seep out when we placed it on the horses, staining their coats or the saddles. Arthur has the pelt over his shoulder and some of the game under his arm, while I carry the rest. 

Since Dust is bigger and stronger than Persephone, he lets me know she can carry both, setting the pelt on her rump. I place the game in Perse’s saddlebags, patting her neck when she sniffs my hair, as if to check if I was okay.

That’s when I blink a bit, “You know.” I begin, my back to Arthur, “I’ve cooked bear before so why don’t we have that for lunch?”

“No more ram for ya then?”

“Well, the ram proved himself to be quite a challenge...and it killed a giant black bear.” he snorts which makes me smile, “So, why not? There’s plenty of food for camp, enough for Pearson to shut up about it, and I can still cook us something! What do you say?”

I twisted my neck so I could look at Arthur from over my shoulder, he was leaning his elbow on Dust’s saddle with most of his weight being supported by a cock of his hip, the free hand grabbing his belt. The arm on Dust’s saddle moved so he could rub his chin and maintain the pose “Well,” he purses his lips briefly, arching both eyebrows when he comes up with an answer, “Why not? It is almost lunch time too.”

“Great!” I vault myself over Persephone’s saddle, waiting for him to do the same to Dust. When he finally did we walked away from the wooded area, not before the black ram we were hunting stared at us down from a large boulder not too far from there. It was as if it was telling us he would not die that day, neither by a bear and  _ especially  _ not by us.

Message received, bud.

* * *

We don’t go back to the clearing we camped before, choosing to stay by the fallen cabin instead. It was well hidden and we didn’t plan on staying long, so there was no need for it to be used for shelter. 

I unwrap one of the pieces, part of its thigh, that was cut into two thick slabs of meat. I rolled back my sleeves by biting the fabric since my hands were covered in bear fat and blood, pushing it up to my elbows as I cut the meat in tiny pieces, rubbing some salted herbs all over.

It looked like a dark beef chunk, not so different from a cow or a buffalo I suppose, especially after it was cut into little cubes. It had a lot of fat, which made it quite easy to rub the herbs around it’s surface, making them stick to it. Arthur managed to find some carrots and mushrooms, being very helpful in cutting them roughly while I was busy.

I hovered a hand by the small pot we had above the fire, pulling it back quickly when I was satisfied at how hot it was. I dropped the bear cubes inside, peeking when they started to sizzle and crackle thanks to the heat, pouring just a tiny bit of water. It was a low fire so we had to wait before adding the rest of the ingredients, at least until the meat was cooked nicely.

Perhaps to pass the time a song made its way out like a hum, something I used to do while cooking for myself. Another one that was part of my childhood, the one my father sang to my mother every time he left for work.

“ _ Alla mattina appena alzata, _ ” I sing to myself, moving the spoon around the pot while the meat cooked, “ _ O bella ciao bella ciao bella ciao, ciao, ciao. _ ” I could hear his deep voice resonating around the front of the house, walking backwards towards the street with his arm up in a flourish, the biggest smile towards my mother “ _ Alla mattina appena alzata, in risaia mi tocca andar. _ ”

It was then I remembered I  _ wasn’t _ by myself, nor that the one next to me wasn’t Cripps who had grown used to my constant humming and singing around. I snap my jaw closed, not looking at Arthur when I raise my hand, “Um...can you,give me--carrots?” I was so embarrassed I barely could manage a full sentence.

The plate touches my palm and I turn the ingredients into the pot quickly, clearing my throat. My face now redder than before. 

“What’s that song about?”

His question made me look up in surprise, almost wishing he didn’t ask me about it. Arthur’s cheeks were a bit flushed, probably the Lemoyne heat keeping up to him. “Because..the other one, was a lullaby right?”

I flick my gaze back to the bear meat being cooked, biting the inside of my cheek, “It’s--um, it’s a song about working on the rice fields. My father used to hum or sing it on his way out to work, to my mom.” my smile returns briefly, but I still don’t look at Arthur.

“A-Anyway,” I cleared my throat, eager to change the subject before any more questions came out of his mouth, “I think it’s done.” and it smells delicious too, nice. I scoop a nice amount of bear meat and vegetables, placing it on his plate, rising it to my eye level to check if it was all properly cooked, giving myself a happy nod then handing the plate to him.

I waited with bated breath, not even thinking about getting my own food until Arthur gave me a reasonable answer to my cooking...which I was so confused as to why I needed that so much? With a small frown I scoop what was left of the meat and vegetables into my own plate, poking it with a spoon, trying to think about anything else.

Until a groan, perhaps the deepest groan I’ve heard, came from Arthur. My eyes widened, irises slowly rising towards him. He had his eyes closed, cheek puffed out and moving as he chewed, spoon resting by the thin plate’s rim. Another groan left him and I hated, hated how it made my mind go deep into the gutter.

_ ‘That’s a nice moan he has.’ _ a voice said next to my ear  _ ‘Betcha he sounds like this when he’s...more pleased’ _

I suck in a harsh breath, shaking my head because I don’t need this right now, not now. “I’m gonna tell Dutch to kick Pearson outta camp,” he says with his mouth full, already shoving another spoon in, “This is incredible.”

My stomach flutters happily, a warmth spreads all over my chest. I bow my head playfully at him, “Thank you, thank you,” I twirl my hand in a flourish, pressing the palm to my heart, “I’m glad you enjoy the feast I’ve prepared,my lord.” adding a bit of a British accent at the end, especially because I remember Sean calls him Englishman, just for a special touch. When my stomach growls I remember that much like Arthur I’m just as hungry.

And not to toot my own horn but it is really good. Bear meat has quite a specific taste I couldn’t explain besides saying it’s almost like a sweeter venison. A bit grainy but overall, edible. The carrots and mushrooms are soft enough to bite through without issues, almost dissolving in our mouths. 

We stayed in silence, eating and repeating the dose until there was nothing left in the pot. Arthur sets his plate aside, his hands crossing his stomach and a pleased smile dances over his lips, “That was really good.” he comments as I grab our plates and the pot, setting them near each other so we wash them later, “Ya really know how to cook--” he holds back a burp, placing a fist in front of his mouth, “Sorry ‘bout that.”

I snort, “You don’t have to apologize for burping, Arthur. I'm not squeamish. Every single person burps.”

He laughs quietly, scratching his chin “Ya could be right, still don’t feel good doin’ it in front of a lady. ” I comically look around, even placing a hand above my eyes to find this ‘lady’ he spoke of, “Ya know what I mean...Just let me do that, will ya?”

An eye roll is all I give him, “Fine, Arthur. But I ain’t no lady.” he made a sound to protest but I am up to my feet, picking the dirty dishes from the ground “Do you want to go back to camp now? We got more meat than we planned after all.”

He rubs his chin again, pushing himself up and nodding, “I don’t see why not, seein’ our ram friend decided to scare us to death today.” he tries to grab the dishes from my hand but I move them back, “Barbara.”

“What? I can wash them.”

“I don’t want ya to.”

“...Arthur if this is another thing about me being a lady with delicate hands, I swear to God-” in my tandem he managed to yank the dirty dishes from my grasp with a smug smirk adorning his lips, “Hey!”

“Ya cooked, seems only fair I wash these.” he had a fair point, “We should use the stream from before, seein’ there’s no water ‘round us.” he’s already snuffing the fire with his boot, kicking some earth above what used to be the burning logs, then is making his way towards Dust.

Persephone looks at me expectantly, waiting for me to do the same, and when I do I can’t help my smirk and he looks puzzled at me from the ground, hand on the saddle ready to mount, “Race you there?”

He chuckles, using his upper body strength to lift himself from the ground, settling on the black saddle, “I won before.” 

“Yes well, maybe I’m feeling confident.” I smile, tossing my braid over my shoulder, “Come ooonn!!” I bounce above Persephone, holding my hands together as if begging him. Arthur’s mouth twitches into a small grin, his head shakes with amusement but I see him holding the reins tight.

“Won’t wait for ya, darlin’.”

Wait.

That’s the second time he called me darling tod--I cough loudly when a cloud of dust enters my slack jawed mouth, Arthur having the advantage of using my distraction to take a speed start, “Hey!” nevermind the compliment,I had a race to win.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be honest this was based off two things that happened in RDO: one was I was hunting the Legendary Rutile Horn Ram only to die several times and end up giving up because holy shit that guy was too hard to kill. The second thing, idk if it was a glitch it probably was but I saw a ram, an average one, kill a black bear in Lemoyne when I was running by with my horse.
> 
> >-> yeah pretty wild,but!It was so interesting I had to add in.
> 
> Also, the song Barbara is singing 'Bella Ciao', I did my research on it and some sources say it was created in the early 1800s while others say it's late 1800s,nearing 1900s. Since I saw those dates a lot I decided to add the song as an early 1800s song.
> 
> Also yea notes at the end now <-< gonna switch it every once in a while whoops


	18. Let it 'shine, let it 'shine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos are the author's fuel! If you like my story please leave a little comment, even if it's an emoji :)
> 
> enjoy the chapter!!

The race was won, sure, but again not by me. For such a massive muscular horse, Dust was quick as a lightning bolt, I’ve never seen anything like it. Persephone was a fast horse, I know she was, but seeing Arthur bolt past us twice in a matter of two days seemed too much for me.

And as much as I hated to admit, he looked quite handsome with that smug smirk on his face. He’s hopping out of Dust, grabbing the pelt and the game he put in her while looking at my approaching form, “How’s yer confidence?”

“Shut up.” I am not angry, well, not that angry. A bit miffed but I am not mad at Arthur nor Dust, or even Perse for that matter. It happens. “I’m glad I didn’t make a bet with you.” I grunted, grabbing the bear meat myself, smiling in thanks when he waited for me so we could walk back to camp, “My ego is bruised enough as it is.”

I pat Persephone on the snout, giving her another dry raspberry because she did a good job no matter what, then I follow Arthur. John stands between the camp half way, a sour look in his face that makes Arthur question why he ‘looks uglier than normal?’ and while John’s eyes flicker with annoyance for a brief second he nods his head towards another horse I’ve never seen before.

A Missouri Fox Trotter with a black coat, male from what I could see, his face and lower legs white, like socks. I notice Arthur’s jaw tense up while he and John look at one another. I just blink in confusion, not sure what’s going on but pretty sure Arthur is annoyed by it. “When did he get back?”

“A few hours ago.” John’s tone is clipped, he looks back towards Dutch’s tent, “Been talkin’ to Dutch since then.”

“Of course he is.” Arthur scoffs, adjusting the heavy pelt on his shoulder, shaking his head when he strode ahead of me. I quickly keep up, or try to since he is in a hurry almost. I can’t help but notice most of the faces seem as unpleasant as John was. Even if they still talked or laughed, there was something in the air that didn’t feel right. 

We set the game on Pearson’s wagon, the pelt set right beside it as Arthur said he’d deal with that later, turning on his heel immediately after. He walked up to Dutch’s tent where I could hear a man’s voice I didn’t recognize, talking quietly, the smell of cigar wafting out of the tent. The mumbling immediately ceases when Arthur stops by.

“Arthur!You are back early son, how was the hunt?”

I am near enough the tent when Dutch says this, but far enough for the sound to come out a bit muffled “Fine. We managed to get a bear instead of ram.” Pearson was very pleased by that too, a lot of meat to share. Deciding it’d be better if I don’t eavesdrop, I start to walk away only to hear Dutch calling my name.

Looking back at the tent I notice he’s beckoning me over, while Arthur looks a bit less than pleased but looks away, placing both of his hands on his gun belt, his shoulders moving when he breathes heavily. My steps lead to Dutch with some hesitance, but I offer him a questioning smile, “Miss Barbara.” he claps a hand on my shoulder, my body jolts a bit, “Arthur told me the hunt was fruitful.”

“Yeah, we did get plenty of food.” 

“Good,very good.” a white hat appears from behind Dutch, my eyes rapidly moving to the newcomer. He looks at me from the top of my hair to my shoes, thick blonde mustache quirking up in a smirk when his eyes repeat the movement yet again. I knew that look, immediately hating being looked over like a prized mare.

“And this is the new one ya talked about,Dutch?” the man asks, casually leaning on the tent’s pole-- as if it was his-- with one hand on his belt much like Arthur. But unlike Arthur, it wasn’t as attractive to look at.

“Ah, yes,” Dutch’s free hand, the one that still had the cigar, moved towards the white hat wearing outlaw, “Miss Barbara, this is Micah Bell, I’m sure you’ve heard of him around camp.”

Not good things, but I didn’t say that outloud. Micah smirked at me, a strange laugh leaving his mouth before he tips his hat at me, “Pleased to meet ya, Barbara.” his voice almost makes it seem he was too pleased to see me.

“You too.” I don’t look away, I hold the eye contact, staring deep into those bloodshot eyes of his with my jaw firm. If he wanted to put fear in me, he only managed the annoyance out of me. I couldn’t help but notice he had to tilt his head up to look me in the eyes, the corners of my mouth twitch in an amused smirk but I hold it back. Dutch releases my shoulder with another friendly tap and I walk away from the tent, not before sending Arthur a look, a look he reciprocates with a small frown.

I shuffle my way to where the girls are, Tilly looking up from her sewing with an unamused look, “You met him,” I nod, setting myself near them,crossing my legs when I sat down, “Did he say anything yet?”

“Just that he’s pleased to meet me.” I roll my eyes, “I think I know the type of pleased he means.”

Karen scoffs loudly, folding a blue shirt quite roughly, “He always does that to us and when we complain to Dutch he just says it’s ‘Micah bein’ Micah’. He even did that to Grimshaw!” my eyes widen a bit more when she mentions that, especially the part in which Dutch knew about it.

“And not only us,” Mary-Beth then adds, “Lenny,Charles and Javier too, he always badmouths them in some way. They can handle it of course, but it doesn’t mean it’s good to hear.”

So Micah was just an asshole then. Great. 

I sigh through my nose, looking back at Dutch’s tent, seeing Micah in the same position against the pole but with his back to me, Dutch sitting down a crate and Arthur not leaning anywhere, keeping a distance from the white hat outlaw. My thumb and index finger rub against a blade of grass, plucking it out off the ground so I can fiddle with it for a while, grasping what the girls have told me.

For someone who preaches about family so much, it surprises me Dutch doesn't reprimand Micah for what he does. Perhaps because he knows they are meaningless threats? Even still, they bothered people and it made me confused as to why the leader himself didn’t put an end to it. 

I look around the camp, seeing the stolen ‘shine wagon is still there, under the shade, perfectly still. So they hadn’t thought about what they should do with it sti--Shit. Maggie. I had to see Maggie. I groan pitifully in my throat, making the girls around me question me with their eyes, I just sigh, knowing I’ve delayed the meeting long enough, she already knows I’m here and would find this camp within hours if she wanted.

However I am really tired, as is Persephone, I can’t go to the new ‘shine location now, especially because we were nearing the afternoon. I make a mental note to talk to Dutch later about meeting Maggie by  _ myself  _ first then taking them over there. I have no idea what will happen, but I have a feeling it won’t be ideal.

Great.

* * *

Last night, around dinner, I managed to talk to Dutch about meeting Maggie as soon the morning hit, because if they wanted to meet her as well I really had to try talking her into it first. He agreed, cautious as ever, letting me know that the moment Maggie was ready I should inform him. 

I know they had something planned for today because Hosea was checking the ‘shine wagon often, looking pensive. Perhaps today would be the day they would do something with it, hopefully. 

Now that I am off camp, riding my way towards Maggie’s new distillation shack, I try to calm myself. “Hey,Maggie, it’s been a long time--no, no that’s not good.” I clear my throat, “Maggie, hi! You look really good! Have--no!Oh my god, that’s even worse.”

I practiced what I could say to Maggie without having my face shot off of me but nothing was helping. Everything, no doubt, would prevent my living body to return to camp, I was sure of it. 

Now, while I understood why Maggie changed locations for the moonshine operation, did it have to be so fucking far from a road? And dear god I think Persephone stepped in at least five snakes on the way over and a squirrel. Poor little thing. I huff louder, the anxiety crawling it’s way upwards my spine when I see the new location take form.

It is definitely bigger, not enough to be noticed from a distance but certainly could keep a strong moonshine operation going in there. There was a small dock by the left, where an old basset hound lies.

He raises his head when I approach, lazily gruffing out a bark towards me but not moving himself from his place by the docks, instead lying on his side with his big ears flopping, returning to sleep. 

There’s a medium sized shed near the back, where I was sure the operation was happening in full force. Maggie managed just fine with Lem, but I believe there are more people helping her now. Taking another deep breath for courage I stop Persephone by the entrance, tying her up on a tree branch.

“Okay, you can do it Barbara.” my own words of encouragement don’t seem genuine enough for me, but I turn myself towards the front door, “You can do it.” my feet seem to drag after me, trying to hold me back from what I can feel could be the closest thing to the armageddon, towards the front of the house.

There are two large windows partially covered by drapes that show a little of the inside. I can’t see Maggie in there but that doesn’t mean she isn't around. I hold the door knob at the same time a breath of courage enters my lungs, slowly opening the door to peek inside.

What greets me, instead of what would appear to be a large dining room and a staircase, is the end of a shotgun aimed right to my face. I jerk my head back in surprise, mouth parting in a shocked gasp when the nozzle gets close enough to brush against my upper lip. The fear I am feeling right now is worse than when we encountered the bear -- what do you know a 5’3” woman with a shotgun strikes more fear in people than a dangerous animal -- and I gulp nervously.

Maggie’s dark eye narrow at me, she’s breathing through her nose quite harshly and I clench my eyes shut, thinking she’d really shoot me...only for the pressure to disappear from my lip, I dare peek one eye open, moving my iris around to see Maggie lowering the shotgun so it nearly touches the ground, “Yer late.” is all she says while turning on her heel to go deeper into the house.

My soul returns to my body and I shake my head to focus on her, “I--yeah, I’m sorry some stuff came up--” she slams the shotgun down the table and I wince, shit, “I...well, Cripps let you know, right?”

“That ya are now meddlin’ with Van der Linde’s gang? He did.” 

Ah. Well, maybe that’ll help when they meet...right?

“Well,it’s for a short period of time.” I try to say, closing the door behind me to follow her to the kitchen area, the sound of her cane hitting the ground as she walks mixing with our footsteps “I am not part of the gang yet--”

“How long since this arrangement began?” Maggie asks, giving her back to me. I give her my answer, the one month and a half sounding quieter than I thought, and she chuckles almost angrily “One month and a half, and she says it’s temporary.”

“I am not leaving any of you behind, if that’s what you are thinking.”

“Oh ya better not,” she turns partially to me, holding a jug of moonshine in a hand and setting glasses by the sink with the other, “Too much money has been put into all this.” she pours a substantial amount inside the glass, lifting it back to me, “Taste it.”

My legs take me to her side, where I look down at the liquid. It has a light pinkish tint to it and a fruity smell, but it's not pungent. I tip the glass to my lips and down it in one gulp, my eyes clenching shut when the strong taste spreads over my tongue, diminishing after a while so a cherry like aftertaste takes its place. My lips smack quickly, the aftertaste becoming stronger “Oh, this is really good,Maggie.”

“It’s a new formula.” she says, taking a sip of her own, smacking her lips as well, “We are thinkin’ ‘bout makin’ it taste different.”

“Honestly, it’s really good.” I lick my lips, putting the glass next to the jug while Maggie keeps on sipping her own glass. I still am thinking how to spread it out to her about Dutch’s meeting, how to explain to her it wasn’t because they were planning on...well, I wasn’t sure what they planned, I know for a fact if they tried something funny she’d cut that short  _ real  _ fast. This is Maggie after all. 

She didn’t survive a fire only to die at the hands of outlaws.

I must’ve been silent for a while, because she taps the end of her cane to the side of my leg, gently which was surprising, “What’s goin’ on in that head of yours?”

That snaps me out of my trance, my eyes meeting her “Ah, well,” how to say this, “It’s...um...you know--”

“Van der Linde wants to meet me, doesn't he?”

My jaw opens in shock, “How did you know?”

“I figured it, ya wouldn’t be nervous if it wasn’t cause of them.” she downs the last drops of moonshine, slamming the glass on the counter which again, doesn’t help my situation. She supports one arm on her cane, leaning her body weight over it, “Why?”

“I...am not sure.”

“Ya ain’t sure.” she repeats, tone clipped, “Ya want to bring Dutch Van der Linde to our moonshine operation and ya don’t even know why? Forget it.” she walks away, hitting the cane hard on the wooden floor. I sigh deeply, fearing that’d be her response, what would I tell Dutch now? That’s why he allowed me to see everyone. Shit.

“Maggie.” I keep up with her, holding the wooden door closed when she tries to open it, which earns me the darkest glare Maggie Fike could give someone, “It’s just to talk. Please?” we maintain eye contact, I’m proud of not moving my gaze away under her scrutiny. She’s much shorter than I am but that didn’t mean she couldn’t be absolutely terrifying when needed to be.

Maggie’s dark eye narrowed more, then closed, a heavy sigh leaving her nostrils, “I need a reason to see why they’d be interested in talkin’.” she explains, her eye lowering briefly then returning to mine, “I heard somethin’ ‘bout a Braithwaite ‘shine bein’ destroyed. Was that ya gang?”

Braithwaites?

I finally connected the dots, my eyes slowly closing in recognition, “I...Arthur brought a wagon filled with moonshine, I didn’t know it was the Braithwaites’. I didn’t know they were still using that area.”

“Why do ya think we had to change locations?” Finally she walks away from the door towards a bookcase, pulling out a thick leather covered journal and slamming on the table alongside the shotgun. She flips through the pages, turning the book to me when I approach the table, leaning over it to have a better look “That Braithwaite bitch is still meddlin’ ‘round the swamps.”

“You’d think after what we did to her last year they’d stop.” I look at the numbers, the amount of moonshine sold with a grim smirk, “But you did tell me Catherine Braithwaite was worse than the devil himself.”

“I can say, proudly, that we are makin’ more money than they are but that ain’t why I’m showin’ ya this.” she flips more pages, until it lands on a loose page with a report written, “Read it.”

I picked it up, reading it’s contents, _ “Two weeks ago, on June 11th, a group of Lemoyne Raiders tried to break into the ‘shine shed and destroy everything in the middle of the night. Lem managed to kill them but not before one of them shot one of the workers in the arm. No one heard them coming, no one knew if they followed a worker here or found it by themselves. All I know we have to double the guards.”  _ again the Raiders and their newfound way of attacking. 

She sits down on a chair by the end of the table, sighing deeply “I heard ‘bout some Raiders being killed earlier this week, yer doin’?” I nod once, so she continues “Ya noticed how they are actin’ yes?”

“More organized,” I lower the paper so I can lean against the table’s surface, “Definitively got some training.”

“And ya also know they broke Cecil outta jail?” she isn’t amused when saying it, her eye darting to the side, “Lindsey’s orders I heard.” 

Cecil C. Tucker. I should’ve killed that son of a bitch when I had the chance. Child killer, arsonist, literally the worst type of person you’d meet and yet he was under the protection of the Lemoyne Raiders. It shouldn’t be surprising that after I caught him he’d find a way to escape.

“So here’s my proposition.” Maggie says,making me look at her with wide eyes, “I want the Raiders gone from my area, I want ‘em dead and done.” she emphasizes her words by hitting her cane on the floor, “Van der Linde wants to talk? Then let’s deal with those rats first, then we’ll see what he wants.”

It was a bold move, but this was Maggie, she never does anything without thinking first. I could try and tell Dutch, or even Arthur about it. If she sees they mean no harm, at least not to her, then maybe she can talk to Hosea and Dutch, perhaps even coming to an agreement? Honestly, from what Dutch made it seem he wanted more information about the area, about the people and well...what brought money in, obviously. Maggie has lived here her entire life, she knows more than anyone what goes around.

“Sounds fair.” I nod, closing the book carefully, “I’ll let him know and talk to you if that’s okay?”

Maggie sighed again, grunting when she pushed herself upwards, grabbing the journal from the table, “Let him know I don’t trust him,” I snort, “But I trust ya and if something goes south, it’s on ya and ya only.”

I unconsciously gulped nervously, again the Maggie glare was dangerous. A lot was riding on this: the whole moonshine operation, Maggie’s trust on me, hell even the safety of everyone I know here in Lemoyne rides on this. Letting out a shaky breath I nod at her once, trying to appear confident, “I know Maggie, you did a lot for me I’d never do anything to hurt you or anyone.”

“Just make sure it stays that way.” She places the journal back in the bookshelf, “Talk to Lem for Lemoyne Raiders locations ‘round, he made a map.” and that was all she’d tell me, which meant it was my cue to leave. I bid my goodbyes to Maggie, walking out of the main house to look for Lem. 

Not surprisingly he’s by the shed where the operation is, smiling when I appear by the door. Knowing exactly why I was there he pulls out the map from inside his jacket, handing me the folded paper and letting me know the Raiders have one main location that it’s still unknown but they all hide there when most of the smaller camps are destroyed.

It was a simple map of Lemoyne, with dotted lines signifying roads and X’s meaning the camps. From what I counted there were at least three big camps all around, one of them was near Clemens Point. I have to let Arthur know now. 

I thank Lem for the map, to which he just chuckles saying it was nothing and I take my leave. Persephone barely flinches when I hop back on her saddle, placing the map inside one of the satchels. Perhaps it’d be a good idea to check the mail in Rhodes, to see if Scotty sent anything.

Again, I had to guide Persephone through the thick grass and snake carcasses until we reached the main road. With the afternoon starting to turn into night, I had little to no time to check the mail, so I kicked her on the ribs, galloping in the direction of Rhodes. 

I arrive at the train station when the sun starts to set, quickly dismounting Perse and rushing inside, apologizing by slamming on a man on his way out. I walk towards the clerk, my jaw going slack at who it was, “Alden?” the man in question looks up from the pile of letters he’s checking, widening his eyes at me.

“Miss Barbara?”

I laugh, opening my arms, “In the flesh and bone. What are you doing here?”

“Well, I work here.” he says, deadpanned, “Been working here for the last four months now.”

Alden Carruthers, who knew he’d also work in Rhodes...but I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised, “You are everywhere all at once huh?” I ask, leaning my elbows on the support in front of the gated window. “I was wondering if you have a letter for me?”

“Oh? Which names should I look for? Belle Deveraux? Rosie Thatch?”

“Tacitus Kilgore.”

Alden’s mouth downturns comically, “Quite the fancy name.” he murmurs, wetting his index finger as he flipped through the letters, eyes flicking through each name. I lean on my palm while waiting, looking around the station with curiosity. It’s crazy how a year ago I was trying to get something out of this town for survival.

The bounties here were good at least, while it was a temporary license, I managed to get enough money to keep myself up for at least months. I wonder if the female bounty hunter I met was seen again around these parts. She was terrifying. And amazing. I still remember dumbly staying silent when she spoke, hell I even lit her cigarette like a child...but then again, I feel if I didn’t she’d give me the same ending as the outlaw she killed as soon as she arrived in the town.

“Ah, here it is.” Alden pulled out an envelope, turning it on his hand, “To Tacitus Kilgore.” he slid it towards me and I thanked him, not waiting until I was outside to open it.

Scotty’s letter said she found out about the hidden camp and that,much like Maggie, she heard Cecil was free as a bird now and for me to be careful if I wandered around Lemoyne alone because certainly he held a grudge against me.

She had also drawn a map, one that resembled the one Lem gave me. She said she was sure there were more camps but we wouldn’t be able to find it just yet. Lindsey Wofford, the Lemoyne Raider’s leader, wasn’t in Lemoyne for now but the gang was being led by his second in command, Thomas Carter also known as ‘Twigs’. She has seen him patrolling the roads with at least two other raiders, but not attacking anyone which was suspicious.

She thinks they are trying to appear pacific as a ruse to attack the victims faster. Which could be right, it was dangerously smart of them to do that. I hum pensively, looking at Alden who is in turn busy--or trying to appear-- rummaging some books, “Thank you,Alden.” I turn to leave and Alden calls me back, which promptly makes me stop.

“Miss Barbara if you are in need of any,” he looks around, lowering his voice when he notices some people waiting for the train “...Jobs. I can help you.”

I smirk, “I know Alden, you never disappoint.”

“You know, some people have rat problems.” He cleared his throat, “Rats that meddle with fire, that is. I am sure you’ve heard of one that escaped the mousetrap.”

Cecil.

I walk back to him, leaning close enough so we whisper to one another, “What do you know?”

Alden looks left to right again, cupping a hand around his mouth, “He wouldn’t dare put his feet on Rhodes again, but I heard he’s tryin’ to leave the state.” my eyes widen at that, but I let him continue, “Lindsey is bein’ paid by him, so he’s probably goin’ to take him away to where he is. The rat is somewhere safe, surrounded by protection until he can leave. When you do deal with him, perhaps it’s better if you put an end to it.”

“Considering he escaped the first time that’d be my main option.” there’s a lot of information on the Raiders and on Cecil that I got today. I don’t think he’s the reason why--Would Lindsey train his gang just to protect Cecil? How much money would Cecil even have? There was more to this, it had to be..

But that really funneled all the information I’ve got, from Maggie to Scotty into one thing only. It’ll be like hitting two birds with one stone so to speak and that would also help when the ‘meeting’ happened. I still had to figure out how to make it work, obviously, but I think we got a good start as for right now.

Finally I wave Alden goodbye, shoving the letter inside my shirt as I make my way to Persephone. A cacophony of noises, some resembling gunshots coming from the only saloon in Rhodes calls my attention. The town already tucked in for the night, the only level of activity would come from the salon itself but I never thought I’d hear gunshots...or a wagon rushing away being followed by Raiders…

Was that--My eyes widened in recognition, it was the wagon from camp! I climb on Persephone, barely sitting down fully before we set on a run. They were on the other side of town, no doubt trying to lose the raiders, so I had to cut my way through the town itself to get close to them. Arthur was shooting every raider that appeared, not as many as before I’ve noticed, while Hosea guided the wagon away.

I wanted to shout and let them know I was there but they were too focused on running away to do that. Arthur took most of the raiders in sequence, the rest running away from them and one of the runaways almost slams into Persephone if I hadn’t stopped her in time. Luckily he was not paying attention to me.

The wagon slows to a stop near the end of the road, Arthur sits back down next to Hosea and I approach them slowly. Hosea is the first one to notice me, “Miss Barbara! What a surprise to see you here.”

“Oh I just had to follow the gunfire.” I smirk, jabbing my thumb in Rhodes’ direction, “What just happened back there?”

“Ah, just some folk who didn’t like their drinks.” the con-man says, which makes me smile confusedly, then my eyes move to Arthur. He looks down at himself quickly, then at the large hat atop of his head, quickly yanking it off. The longer hair above the shaved area was askew thanks to the movement 

“What’s with the outfit?” 

“Arthur was helping me with a little show, isn’t that right Arthur?” Hosea playfully elbows Arthur, then turns his gaze to me, “How was your meeting with Ms.Fike?”

“Oh, fine...but I think it’s better if I talk to Dutch first.” the nervousness is about to eat me alive almost, “For his opinion.” I look back at what seemed to be left of the moonshine, some of the jugs have been shot with clear moonshine dripping down the wagon. This was the Braithwaites. 

“Sounds good, sounds good.” Hosea looks back at Arthur who has now his black hat on instead, “Why don’t you go with Barbara back to camp? I’ll go ahead and well, deal with this mess.” I only saw the back of Hosea’s head, but by the way Arthur’s eyes widened and how his irises moved between Hosea and myself I could only imagine the look he was receiving.

Knowing there was no other way around, the finally stepped down from the wagon and Dust appeared from behind the trees, no doubt she had been there since the beginning, just waiting for Arthur to return. Hosea waved both of us goodbye, speeding ahead. I give Arthur a small smile when he climbs onto Dust, tilting my head at him, “Seems you boys had fun.”

“Hah, fun.” he chuckles “Sure, fun could be a word.”

“Oh come on, killing raiders and dealing with moonshine? Seems like a Friday to me.” I pause, “Is today friday?”

Arthur laughs quietly, shaking his head with amusement, “Naw, it ain’t.” we both slowly make our way back to camp, watching the sun slowly disappear in the horizon. I feel his eyes on me every once in a while, feeling he wanted to ask me something, “Ya look worried.”

I snort, “Yes well,” I suck in a deep breath, “Some information made me...weary. But I’ll tell you when we get back, alright?” he still keeps his gaze on me, a frown on his lips. “Arthur, I swear I’m okay...I just need to digest everything I’ve learned today.”

“Sounds like it was a lot.”

“Lord, you have no idea.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> >w>
> 
> ehehe
> 
> Yeah, im having lots of fun writing this. A LOT
> 
> Honestly, I know some people don't know a lot about RDO so I'm trying to make it...easy? For those who never played, idk, im trying. also shout out to CaptainPeace820 for sending out some cool ideas :)!


	19. T for Teamwork

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos are the author's fuel! If you like my story please leave a little comment, even if it's an emoji :)
> 
> enjoy the chapter!!

“So, that’s the proposition.” I finished my explanation to Dutch, opening my hands to signal I was done, then promptly clasp them together while waiting for his answer. I couldn’t really stop myself when we got to camp, I had to talk to Dutch immediately. 

Micah was with him at the time, so I told Dutch there was something we had to discuss in private or at least with Arthur present. Micah gave me a dirty look, then looked surprised when Dutch told him to leave, as if he had the right to listen to our conversation, something in the works before he even returned to the gang. I barely budged when he glared my way, simply sending him a side eye instead.

Now, with him gone and Arthur taking his place inside the tent, I wait anxiously for Dutch’s reply. He was pensive, supporting his chin on a hand and rubbing his jawline, eyes lowered to his left. I sucked in another nervous breath, tapping my thumbs together, trying to keep my mind occupied with anything but the paranoia slowly grinding its way into my brain.

What if he says no?

What if he gets mad at that?

What if he  _ shoots  _ me?

“It seems reasonable.” he finally says, making my eyes turn wide as the size of saucers, which in turn eases a chuckle out of him, “Were you worried,Miss Barbara? Thinkin’ I wasn’t going to agree with this?”

“Well...yes.” I lick my dry lips, the tightness in my throat loosening “I--Maggie-” a groan comes out as I try to make out the words, “Maggie is quite particular with the people she deals with and she’s bold as hell. I thought...well,I thought you would think she was overstepping or something.”

“Overstepping?” Dutch laughs the word out, the final letters becoming breathy, “Miss Barbara, what sort of man you think I am?” I didn’t answer that, “She knows this place more than we do and I’ve said before, we need as much leverage as we can get.” his large hand claps my shoulder twice, he likes doing that a lot to me, “We can deal with the rat problem she has. And prevent them from becoming ours as well.”

I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding, my lungs shivering in the exhale, as my body released its tension. I tried to regain my composure as fast as I could, thanking Dutch and quickly slipping out of his tent. 

Not too far from it there was a jug of moonshine left alone near Pearson’s wagon, Sean and Javier were close to it, casually chatting. My gaze zeroed on it before my feet took me there. I didn’t hear their greeting, or maybe I did and completely ignored it, I just yanked the cork off and lifted the jug to my lips letting a substantial amount of moonshine enter my mouth.

It burned its way down my throat, settling into my stomach. It was like I had swallowed hot lava. Slamming the jug down with a bit too much force, I supported myself on a surface that soon appeared to be a barrell, my head down as I felt the buzzness take over me.

“...Damn,” Sean’s voice chuckles, “What’s the celebration?”

I hum a response that vaguely resembles a ‘shut up’, still looking at the grass, albeit blurry. My eyes watering just a bit. With another sharp intake of breath I straightened myself, meeting the surprised looks of Sean and Javier-- while the Irishman had this gleeful smile on his face, the revolutionary seemed more shocked-- who were still in front of me. 

Clearing my throat, now feeling like I needed to lie down or else I’d certainly pass out from stress and booze, I walked away from them, feeling a bit lighter than before. At least Dutch said yes. Thank God. 

Madeline looks up at me from her sitting spot by my bedroll, her small smile disappearing as I just faceplant myself down the slightly cushioned fabric, easing out a heavy sigh that came out muffled. Her hand touches my shoulder blade gently, “Is everything alright?”

“Hmhm.”

“Are you sure?”

I manage to turn my face in her direction, watching her light colored eyes brimming with worry, her free hand pressed against her heart, “I…” I took in another breath, “I just needed something heavy to bring me back into the present.” as if on cue, my forehead felt it was like being pushed inwards, the delights of drinking large amounts of moonshine are truly endless and most of them involve heavy headaches.

Madeline curls her legs against herself, placing now both of her hands upon her lap, “You’ve talked to Ms.Fike then.” I bury my face against my pillow, but moan positively “You were very nervous about it.”

To put it lightly. 

My body feels heavier, now the moonshine mixed with sleep, which makes it harder for me to formulate words correctly. Madeline notices, only giving me a gentle tap to the shoulder, telling me I should go to sleep now and that she’d see me up in the morning.

* * *

_ “No.” _

_ “Barbara.” a nun, Sister Minnie, looks down at me with worry. It has been two days since Paola left and I hadn’t moved from the window. “Barbara, my darling,” I feel her crouch beside me, placing her weathered palms on my small shoulders, I keep my eyes to the entrance, “Barbara, Paola has left two days ago. You can’t remain seated in front of the window like this. I don’t think I’ve seen you eat more than a slice of bread.” _

_ I keep still, clutching my doll. “No,” I shake my head, my pigtails hitting my cheeks, “She promised me she’d come back for me.” _

_ A sigh, a tired one, leaves Sister Minnie’s throat. A comforting hand moves to my upper back, rubbing small circles, “Barbara, darling...Paola was already eighteen. She couldn’t remain within the orphanage.” I dare one meek look her way, seeing her light brown eyes meeting mine, “You must understand that.” _

_ “...But she promised me.” my voice is mousey, scared, the feeling of being alone, without her, without the only memory of a family I had left buried it’s way in my 9 years old body “She...she wouldn’t break her promise.Not to me.” _

_ Sister Minnie offers me a sympathetic smile, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear “Come, it is time for supper.” the conversation was done, she rose to her full height, offering me her hand to which I shakily accepted. While walking out of the sleeping rooms, Father Richards watched us from the end of the hallway, narrowing his eyes at me. _

_ “The little mouse has no hunger today?” he smirks, approaching us with slow but steady steps. Sister Minnie tugs me closer to her but I remain still, looking up at him, “My, my,” he lowers to my eye level, looking down at my doll, “This came with you and your sister no? A memory of her now, since she’s gone.”  _

_ “Father Richards, please.” Sister Minnie says, a warning tone, “Barbara hasn’t eaten in days.” _

_ He tuts, tilting his head mockingly at me, “Days? Oh this poor,poor child.” my tiny fists clench harder around my doll’s soft arm, I feel threads cutting my skin. He keeps his stare on me, that weasley face of his makes my blood boil, then he chuckles, tapping my left cheek. I quickly yank my head away, “Go feed this little mouse.” Father Richards rises to his feet, clasping his hands behind his back, “We can’t lose another one.” _

_ I hear Sister Minnie’s harsh intake of breath, I open my mouth to ask what he means but she quickly tugs me away, and I give one final look to Father Richards over my shoulder.  _

_ He smirks wider. _

_ Barbara. _

_ Barbara. _

“Barbara!”

My eyes snap open and I sit up, chest heaving. I am drenched in sweat, I can feel it dripping down my face. My irises shake as I try to focus where I was, one of my hands clenching the shirt right above my heart that was beating furiously, my mouth parting in pants. A hand touches my shoulder and I flinch, trying to move my body away.

“Barbara, it’s okay, it’s alright.” the voice becomes clearer “It’s me,it’s Arthur.”

Arthur.

Storm-colored eyes look at my face when I turn my head, his eyebrows pinched in worry, “...I…right, yes, of course.” I look away then, kicking the covers out of me and shakily trying to stand up, not knowing how to deal with all the emotions swirling inside me. Arthur hold’s my arm, keeping me still which makes my eyes look back at him.

“Barbara...ya were,” he looks back at camp, my bedroll a good distance from where they sleep, then returns his gaze to mine “Ya were mumblin’ somethin’ when I walked past, then ya started to toss and turn.” he frowns, “Yer cryin’ too.”

Crying?

...Oh. 

The wet in my cheeks wasn’t sweat after all. 

I use my free hand to wipe my face harshly, sniffing quietly against my elbow. Slowly recognition returned, it was another nightmare, another memory. I keep fearing this will happen more and more, especially now that I made it final I want Cornwall dead. “I…” I don’t want him to see me crying -- again -- so I shake myself for some strength, trying to appear like I didn’t have a nightmare. 

And I do that by changing the subject, “Are we ready to go deal with the Raiders yet?” his hand hover by my back when I stand up, ready to hold if I fall back. And my legs do feel like they are made of pudding but I maintain my stance, brushing my shirt off any wrinkles. 

“Dutch asked Javier to go with us.” he explains, still looking at me, that shadow of worry dancing over his gaze. I don’t like him looking so worried. “Thinks it might be a good idea too.”

“More people we have, less chance we have to die.” I murmur, swiping my hands over my pant leg, some dust clouds appearing when I do so.

Arthur moved uneasily next to me, “Ya have them a lot?” he asks, promptly earning an eyebrow raise from me, “The dreams?”

I pause my movements, thinking of an answer. They were always there, worsening by the time Paola left, disappearing when I left Oakheart for a while, then returning every now and again. It has been quite intense since I joined the gang, not enough to make me lose sleep over it as often as it did before. “Sometimes.” comes my response, quiet, almost ashamed, “I don’t want to keep talking about it, okay? I’m fine.” 

He didn’t seem convinced, the muscle in his jaw jumping when he clenched it, sighing through his nose in a way it resembled annoyance but he finally let it go. He walks alongside me towards the middle of camp, where we meet Javier and during breakfast we talk about what we plan to do.

I casually mentioned that Scotty would be another good companion in this because she hated the Raiders and she was always with Maggie when I couldn’t be, something that Hosea overheard and agreed, saying that Scotty has proven to be quite a dangerous ‘little thing’. So, it was done: the four of us would go to each Raider camp, destroy everything and hopefully I’d put a bullet in Cecil’s head along the way.

After breakfast we all prepared to leave and I found Micah staring at me from a tree, where he was leaning, whittling some wood with his knife. He smirked my way, eyes slowly dragging up my body before meeting my own. I’ve met this man just a couple hours before and I already understand why almost everyone in camp hated him so much.

I quickly shook it off, approaching Persephone so we could finally leave. No time to worry about that man now.

Since I know Scotty said she’d want to join whatever I planned to do with the Raiders, I am sure she was just waiting for me to show up by her fence, call her name and be good to go. So I let the men behind me know we’d go pick Scotty and then move forward to the camps. 

Like that day with Madeline, the same trees greeted us, the same fields of small white flowers and the same two story gray paneled house appeared into view. The brown cat was walking on the wooden fence, meowing at us when we appeared, leaping away to hurry his way back to the shed.

A head of bright red hair appeared by the front door of the house, being followed by a taller one who seemed to have just woken up, Jeremiah’s hair was a mess and his eyes squinted at the figures looking in. Scotty sent a brief look from me to the gang members, sighed heavily and told Jeremiah she’d go hunting, quite loudly since her twin was still dozing.

“Wha-?” her brother questioned, rubbing a palm over his face, trying to wake up, “Now?”

“Yes, now.” Scotty was, of course, already dressed. I feel like she slept like that. The white shirt, plaid green pants and the ever so faithful newsboy cap. She walked over to Melvin, pulling him out of the stables while her brother only scratched his head confused.

“What do I tell pa?”

Scotty looks over her shoulder at him, “What I just told ya,” she huffs, “Dumbass.”

I offer her a small smile when she climbs over Melvin, but she doesn’t reciprocate it, so I clear my throat, trying to come up with small talk, “Uh, so,” I sweep my hand towards the two men behind me, “You remember Arthur and Javier, right?” Scotty’s hazel eyes move slowly from each face, making sure that the glare is noticed and  _ felt. _

“Oh,how could I forget?” Scotty replies dryly, guiding Melvin out of the property to stand in the middle of the road, her mouth curled into a frown, “Still remember my wrists hurtin’ ‘cause someone,” a pointed look directed at Javier, “Tied me up.”

The revolutionary smirked, “That wasn’t me,  _ querida _ . I had no business in tying your muñecas.”

Scotty furrowed her eyebrows, “My what now?” she looks at me in confusion, “The hell he talkin’ ‘bout?”

“Your wrists.” he lifts his own hands to his face, moving them back and forth with a little smile, “I didn’t tie you up. That’d be John.”

Her eyes flash in recognition, then her mouth drops “Ya were the one that was messin’ with my horse!” she points an accusing finger towards him, “I remember now!”

I felt the tension rising, coming especially from Scotty, quickly moving Persephone to stand between the two horses, a nervous smile on my face, “How about we focus on killing Lemoyne Raiders? And not people who’d help us out?” Scotty scoffed,Javier chuckled and I pulled out the map, “The sooner we deal with this, the better right?”

Scotty gave Javier one last glare, deicing that the trees around us were more interesting than arguing with him. I let out a quiet ‘great!’ when the conflict ended, moving my gaze towards the distance before we took off towards the camps.

We decided to separate into two: Javier and Scotty would go to the camp farthest from Clemens Point, while myself and Arthur would focus on the one closest from it. We’d meet up halfway before going to the last camp, dealing with whatever was in there. Scotty wasn’t pleased, especially because she didn’t know Javier more than what happened months ago, but I assured her it’d be fine.

She threatened to break my neck if it didn’t.

But she did go with him to the camp in the end, so I take that as a success.

Arthur and myself went in the opposite direction, the trees that hid Clemens Point from outsiders appearing in the far distance, but no one would know a full camp was hidden in there. Scotty mentioned Clemens point used to be a good spot for gangs to hide before, but with the lake nearby sometimes it could bring some water snakes by.

We did find some, but they didn’t come by us, simply slithering back into the water. 

Smoke did come out of the from another cluster of trees, right by our left. We looked at one another when we heard talking coming not too far from there, so we quickly moved the horses to the said direction.

They weren’t as hidden as they hoped, even while there were trees that could offer quite a significant cover where they decided to make camp, they weren’t quiet at all, and they had no plan in hiding the wagons, the white bonnet contrasted severely with scenery that surrounded it. So, in the end, it was painfully easy to sneak on them.

We left the two mares at a safe distance, enough for them to hear us calling but far enough so they wouldn’t be hurt by any cross fire. Both of us try to be silent, I wince a bit when I accidentally step on a twig but got no reactions from the gang ahead of us. Arthur places his index finger against his lips, then uses the same finger to point towards a tree. I nod, quickly scurrying for the tree he signaled, daring to peek at the side.

Nothing more than 8 steps separated us from them and only three between me and Arthur. Both of our rifles in our hands. We didn’t use it with the bear, but we sure could use it now. 

He looks at me from where he’s hiding, behind a large boulder, adjusting his position so he can aim the rifle over the curved edge. Killing them before they notice us was always a plus.

“How ya wanna do it?” I heard him whisper in my direction, surprised I could still understand him clearly, “Do ya want me to go ahead?”

“Yeah,” I shrug, “I don’t mind. I’ll scope the ones that run away if need be too.”

Arthur nods, rising the rifle to eye level, his index finger sliding to the trigger. I do the same, prepared for what would happen. When he fires a shot it fractures a Raider’s head by the temple, making him fall to the ground while his friends scatter away like bugs, hurriedly grabbing their own guns with a cacophony of noises following.

I pull myself back behind the tree, the bullets whizzing by and landing on the soft earth by my feet. Hearing them cursing trying to recharge their guns I moved forward again, aiming the repeater towards his head, the raider’s surprised ‘shit!’ barely left his mouth before his head exploded. 

“Son of a bitch!” one of them shouted, shooting his revolver in my direction, “It’s the bitch that got Cecil a year ago!”

My eyebrows shot up in surprise, my mouth parting when I heard the men complaining amongst themselves, aiming their guns in my direction...all of them. “Shit!” I quickly hid myself again when the rain of bullets came my way, pieces of bark and leaves falling by my sides, Arthur’s shout was nothing more than the background noise underneath all that fire.

Another shot rings from my side, I peek to see Arthur aiming and hiding himself as fast as he could. Now that the shock has passed, I could finally use the rifle in my hands again. While it wasn’t easy to dodge the bullets, some of them almost hit my foot, I am able to join Arthur on shooting the remaining raiders until they fall down limp.

The last one tries one last tactic when his revolver jams, throwing it my way in hopes that’d hit my head but he misses by a large amount. Arthur takes care of that one as well, he joins his fellow comrades on the bloodied grass in the end, falling face first on another raider’s back.

We stay in silence, looking at the bodies on the ground, our chests expanding and constricting with the heavy breathing, still pumping with adrenaline. Arthur removes his hat to run his fingers through the long part of his hair above his head, using his arm to wipe off some sweat from his forehead. 

“So,” he begins, “They knew ‘bout ya.”

“Oh...oh yeah,” I say with a tired smile, slinging the rifle over my shoulder, “Didn’t think they would because you know...I killed some last year.”

Arthur’s head tilts my way, his seastorm eyes glinting with curiosity, “How so?”

I sigh while making my way over the bodies to loot them, he followed close behind, “Last year I became a ‘bounty hunter’ for...three weeks because I had no money and was desperate. During that time I went after Cecil C. Tucker.” I nudge my boot under one of the bodies to forcefully turn him around so his front faces me, “He was under the protection of the Raiders. For a price.”

I look back at Arthur, seeing he crouched next to another body and was looting the corpse himself, but hummed in acknowledgement for me to continue.

“And I did get him, by myself because I hadn’t met Scotty or Madeline yet,” I pulled a pocket watch from the man’s vest, turning it into my hand to check if it was intact, “And brought him in. It was all fine and dandy until I found out he was released from jail by the Lemoyne Raiders and is now trying to leave the state.”

“So this ain’t just somethin’ for yer Moonshiner friend?”

“Well, it involves Maggie because they are trying to attack the operation.” the pocket watch is now safely in my hip satchel alongside three dollars the man had hidden under his hat, so I make my way to another one, “I think that someone, someone related to Cecil probably, paid the Raiders again and even gave them proper training so they could become his bodyguards. Normally they wouldn’t put up a fight like this, especially if they knew who I was and what I’ve done, they’d let Cecil rot by himself.”

A small earring comes out of the pocket I was checking, which makes me furrow my eyebrows, but I just shrug, placing it inside the satchel as well, “I don’t know who would in their own mind protect someone like Cecil. There’s no bounty in his head now, so that means someone bribed the authorities to make it seem he just disappeared.” 

“And ya think it’s all connected?”

I support one of my arms on my thigh as I remain crouches, taking a deep breath, “Honestly? There’s a high possibility of that.” I lick my dry lips, my nostrils twitching with the stench of fresh blood, “You’d be surprised how much one little thing can connect to the other, then the other, then the other and so on.” 

Arthur straightens himself when he loots the last two corpses, placing the valuables inside his satchel, “That’s a whole lotta work.”

“Yeah.”

I stood on my feet, tapping my legs to get rid of the earth sticking to my pants fabric, so I could join him. Whatever was happening it seemed too personal. I have no idea if Cecil has rich family members, although there is a possibility because why else would there be no bounty on his head? Sheriff Gray, the man of  _ honor  _ he was, wouldn’t allow a child killer and arsonist to run free without a reason would he?

“I think we are done.” I dare a look around the fallen raiders, “Better meet up with Scotty and Javier.” Arthur joins me while we walk back to the horses.

“Ya think they are already done?” he questions, settling atop Dust as I did the same with Persephone.

“Oh they are done,” I say, smirking, “Scotty is a small killer machine.” my smirk diminished, “Don’t tell her I called her small, she’ll kill me.”

Arthur chuckles, holding one of his palms up as we make our way out of the woods towards the main road “I ain’t hear nothin’.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HM H M HM
> 
> im really excited
> 
> although the ending of this chapter was a bit 'meh' for me, but ill fix it some other day if need be.


	20. Rat Hunting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos are the author's fuel! If you like my story please leave a little comment, even if it's an emoji :)
> 
> enjoy the chapter!!

We met Scotty and Javier right where we planned to earlier, neither of them looked bothered by what they encountered while dealing with the other camp, Scotty even saying it was like ‘slapping a kid on the wrist’. She let me know that indeed they were protecting Cecil and indeed there was a lot of money involved.

Javier mentioned something about an old house, dilapidated and falling apart right north of the hills where Cecil was hiding, according to the raiders they killed he was guarded by at least five of them. If it was the North of the spot we currently were, it meant the house would be near the train tracks and since he wouldn’t dare go back to Rhodes and buy himself a ticket, no doubt he was planning on jumping in uninvited.

“Whatcha plan on doin’ when ya see ‘im?” I arch one eyebrow at Arthur, who is riding alongside me, the two of us letting Scotty and Javier lead us forward, “This Cecil feller.”

“I haven’t thought too much about it,” I murmured, “He can’t stay alive and roaming about, that’s for sure. I don’t know how long since he was broken out of jail,I don’t know if he had any other victims along the way.” I prayed that he didn't, even though part of me said it’d be impossible for someone like him to not act again. “...but death seems too easy for him.”

Arthur hums in response, not saying anything else then, the four of us speeding up towards the hills. Scotty said to leave the horses, that we’d have to walk in this area towards the house, plus horses galloping would call too much attention. I sling my rifle strap over my shoulder, taking in a deep breath.

Some people wouldn’t be worked up about a bounty like I was I suppose. But Cecil was, still is, a massive threat. I’ve seen the pictures of what he had done, of what was left, walked past the burnt houses, saw the names of the tiny children he burned alive hanging off tin name plates in the cemetery's wooden boards because there were no bodies to be buried. 

It was painfully personal how I felt. He was my first big bounty, the one that I did on my own without anyone helping because it was...personal, too personal. Losing someone, losing lives in a fire caused by someone else was something I unfortunately knew all too well. The anger I felt then was nothing compared to the fury I was feeling now.

I might’ve appeared different because Arthur placed a hand on my shoulder, stilling my body when I tried to walk ahead, “Breathe,Barbara.” he says, “Yer lookin’ like a bull ready to throttle someone.”

My jaw clenched, the bubbling rage simmering briefly, “I’m fine.” he furrowed his eyebrows, clearly not believing me.

“Ya ain’t fine, here--” he taps my hands clenching the rifle, gently prying some of my fingers loose -- my knuckles turned white -- “Relax yer hands, yer gonna miss if ya keep ‘em tight like that.”

My gaze moves to the side, to where I see Scotty and Javier waiting for us, my friend arching one eyebrow when she notices Arthur pressing his fingers against my palm, but says nothing “I...I just--”

“Yer gonna get ‘im.” he finishes before I could, “But if ya get into yer head, ya get yerself killed. Ya know that.” I nod mutely, offering him a small smile and a quiet ‘thank you’ before he pulls himself away. I still feel his fingers heating up my skin, but I try to brush it off. Now it’s not the time to think about that.

The thick shrubbery that surrounds the old house gives us great spots to hide, crouching down behind the leaves and peeking through foliage to have a better look of what expected us. There were placid raiders around the house, which meant two were inside, guarding Cecil. This house was clearly small, perhaps nothing more than two bedrooms, the windows were coated with dirt giving us no clear view from the interior or its occupants.

Cecil would never hide in plain sight. He’d lock himself in some room and just leave when the fog had cleared. “We gotta be quiet,” Scotty says in a hushed voice, “Any sound will make that rat scurry off.” 

“Any ideas?” my eyes remain on the house as I ask that question.

“We could get the ones outside while you and Arthur sneak inside.” Javier said, moving his index finger to each raider, “We can guard the house too so no one leaves.”

It’s a good idea, especially since the guards were on different sides of the house, almost in a triangle formation: one close to us, one near the opposite end with his back to the house and the last one in the back. They wouldn’t see when the other would be taken down which would give us a big opening.

“I am alright with that idea.” Arthur looks at me after saying that, expecting my response.

“Me too. We’ll stay hidden while you guys deal with them.” 

Javier smirks, sending a look at Scotty's way, sweeping his hand ahead, “After you, querida.” her face is looking away from me but I can feel the scowl already, she grumbles something under her breath while moving away, Javier choosing the opposite side she did. 

In a matter of minutes, neither me or Arthur saw them approach the raiders, there was no one else guarding the outside of the house, silently killed and bodies hidden. I send Arthur a look, the two of us slowly leaving the bushes to find a way in without it being by the front door. 

He nods towards a partially open window, “I can give ya a push, I don’t think I’d be quiet enough in there.” he murmurs when we approach the said window, Javier and Scotty surrounding the house : Scotty by the left and Javier in the back while myself and Arthur were nearing the window by my friend’s opposite direction, the same grime covered window was our way inside. 

I look back at dirty glass panels, we could hear someone snoring on the inside. The window was parted a small bit which meant I’d have to push it open as quietly as I could, “Okay.” I nod to Arthur, stepping forward while handing Arthur my rifle so my hands would be free to open the window.

My fingers fit, albeit tightly, in the tiny space between the window and the wooden stool below it and with quick shaking movements I managed to lift it up enough for me to fit in. It would be a constricted feeling, but I was sure I could get inside. “Okay.” I say without looking at him, “Help me up--” I thought Arthur planned to cup his hands together so I could step in his palms and enter, but he held my waist and raised me like a child up to the window, as if I weighed nothing at all.

Trying to shake off the shock I quickly pulled myself forward, grunting a bit when the window scraped the back of my shirt, and Arthur’s hands slowly let go of my waist although I could still feel the invisible pressure against the flesh. My torso is mostly in, I use my hands to crawl forward as my lower body drags itself inside. I dare a look around, seeing one lonely raider sleeping against the wall right in front of me.

I’ll have to slide one leg at a time here. 

Biting my lower lip I shimmy my hips back and forth, the wooden frame creaked in complaint but it wasn’t enough for the raider to wake up. One of my legs came up and I slowly placed it on the floor, my hands still supporting me. I knew the moment the other leg was set free I had to be careful because all the weight would be on my hips and that might make me lose my balance.

So, carefully as I could, I dragged the other leg in while staying firmly on the spot. My hands and opposite leg were supporting my body and I swore in my mind when my arms started to shake under the weight being set. I barely contained a small grunt, using the wall to drag my boot down until it landed on the wooden panels.

The raider was still asleep, thank God. 

I try to be as silent as possible when I straighten myself, tapping my shirt off any dust, moving my gaze to the sleeping raider. My eyes flick between him and the closed door by his right, the other raider was outside no doubt so I had to be quick.

I made my way to the sleeping man, looking down at him with a frown, as I pulled out my knife out of its sheath. One stab to his chest was all it took, my hand pressed tightly against his mouth as he writhed about, trying to fight me off but I pressed my knee down his legs. His eyes rolled back and he stilled completely. 

Using his dirty jacket to clean my knife the best I could I stood to my feet and gently opened the door, peeking into a living area where I saw a raider eating a can of beans, his profile to me. He looked older, perhaps in his 20s, with the gray hat the Lemoyne Raiders wore low on his face. He was facing the front door but didn’t seem to notice the lack of movement from outside. 

My jaw clenched and my eyes moved about to see if I could notice Cecil anywhere, stopping at a closed door on the opposite wall of mine. One key dangled from the keyhole while the other kept, I believed, the door locked. He had to be there.

I made sure to barely lift my foot off the ground while approaching the unaware raider, standing right behind him, about to lift the knife to attack him when the man looked behind him. He didn’t expect to see me there, that’s for sure. 

“Hey!” He stood quickly when he noticed how close my knife was to his neck, rushing to grab his gun but I ran after him, wrapping my arms around his body and tackling him to the ground with a loud thud that made the wooden floor tremble.

“Barbara!” I heard Arthur yell, “The hell is happenin’ in there?”

“Change of plans!” I keep my arms locked around the raider’s ribs, clenching as tight as I could but he elbows me in the jaw. I yowl in pain, automatically pulling one hand up to check the bruised area and giving him enough time to reach for his gun.

The front door slams open, Arthur comes in with his gun out. He gives one quick look around, sees me on the ground rubbing my face then the raider panicky loading his revolver, wide eyes looking at the new tall cowboy that just entered. Arthur didn’t waste any more time, shooting the raider in the head, his body going slack before he tumbled down to the ground.

Arthur holstered his revolver, making his way towards me with a frown, “What jus’ happened?”

“Ugh,” I rub my jaw, feeling the soreness spread all over my face, “He saw me, fuck.” my head felt dizzy when I stood to my feet, but I wouldn’t stop now. Cecil heard the commotion, there was no time to lose. With wobbly legs I make my way to the closed door, cursing when I almost trip over the raider’s corpse, my hands shaking when I unlock the door in a hurry.

Arthur gives me my rifle back before I could ask him to, so I load it, breathing heavily through my nose. I kicked the door open, aiming my rifle at the surroundings, my chest heaving every time I inhaled the musty air. I barely notice Arthur is behind me, with his revolver out, looking around to see if Cecil was there.

There was a bedroll on the ground, a suitcase and one lonely candle that had been melted to its end, but no Cecil. My eyebrows pinch in confusion and I lower the rifle just enough to have a better look around the room. It was empty. There was one window, but it was closed.

I shout at Scotty, asking her if anyone left the house only to receive a negative response. Javier says the same.

I can’t help but frown more, were we too late? Did he leave sooner?

Arthur looked at me then at the bedroll, narrowing his eyes when he got closer. I watched him from the window with interest, his feet kicking the bedroll out of the way, crouching to run his fingers over the grain of wood. The wooden planks there were slightly loose, dented at the corners, as if someone tried to pry it open and set it as if it wasn’t meddled with. 

My eyes immediately centered on that. It was an opening to somewhere. I pushed myself away from the window to crouch alongside Arthur, who in turn pulled out his knife and jammed it between the panels. The wood creaked loudly when the knife moved around, Arthur tilting it upwards so the board could come loose.

The moment we did that we heard something scurrying underneath the boards, trying to get away...and it was a big rat. 

“He’s out!” I hear Scotty shout, followed by a loud curse and a ‘stop!’

Both me and Arthur run out of the house, I basically leap out of the front door when I see Cecil’s scrawny frame running away from Scotty, “Don’t shoot him!” I scream when Scotty aims her rifle at his back, my legs are moving before I know it and I am after him.

We rush far away from the house, deep within the woods, I can see his thin body scurrying around the tree trunks, he has no idea where to go after that. “Stop!” I shout, but of course he doesn’t stop, he just keeps running, gaining quite a distance from me. ‘Shit!” My boots crush the grass below, I feel small stones pressing up against the sole but I can’t lose him from my sight.

That is until he does disappear. I skid to a halt when I noticed we are nearing a hill, the elevated angle should be quite the signal to stop but Cecil didn’t seem to notice, continuing his escape until he topples down the hill. His screaming just stopping as a sickening crack echoes around the area.

I speed up my steps to the edge, where I see Cecil’s from sprawled on top of old logs. He’s still breathing, barely, but his foot is bent at a strange angle, enough for me to wince. I look around, noticing the only way down would be if I slid by the side. I lean forward a bit, supporting my weight on my legs while I look down at him: there’s no blood coming out of his mouth and apparently there’s only the bone fracture bothering him.

He was conscious fast enough when he noticed me going down the soft earth by the hillside, rolling onto his stomach to pitifully try and crawl away from me. I patted the back of my thighs and shirt to get rid of the red earth dust clinging to the fabric,my steps leisured. I caught up to him in no time.

Cecil didn’t think about lifting his bruised foot a little so the earth wouldn’t drag it in the opposite direction and create a large amount of pain, so he paused every now and again to breathe. I watched him move around like a disgraceful little worm...I could shoot him here and now, could make sure no one would find his body but that seemed too fair.

Cecil managed to break out of jail, has no bounty in his head anymore and would probably live a different life in another state. But here, he doesn't have a lot. He knows he can’t return to Rhodes or the nearby area because people would kill him, but if he stayed here animals would eat him alive.

I hook my boot’s heel against his suspenders, tugging him back to me with ease and kicking him around so he’d lie on his back. His face was covered in red earth, darker lines going down his eyes because of the influx of tears and his chin trembled. He wiped his eyes the best he could, the same eyes widening when he noticed who I was. “I--I ain’t did nothin’! I ain’t did nothin’.”

Lies, he obviously did.

“We both know that’s not true.” my voice comes out lower than planned and I keep thinking about what I could do.I wanted to make him suffer. I could leave him here, alone but...my eyes blink with an idea, then a smirk comes up to my face, “C’mon Cecil.” I smirk, crabbing him by the suspenders and pulling him up forcefully. He let out a noise, no doubt he put pressure on his wounded foot when he stood at full height.

I held his suspenders tight so he was right by my side when I started walking back to the others. This idea was a bit crazy but considering everything that happened and the fact there was no bounty in his head, it should work. Arthur is the one I see first, his eyes narrow towards the dangling body of Cecil, “That him?”

“In the flesh,” I toss Cecil forward so he falls face first on the ground, “And broken bones.”

Scotty and Javier step on his left and right, while myself and Arthur stay by his feet. Scotty tips the back of her cap back, looking down at the child killer with a snarl, “Thought ya’d kill him.”

“Death would be an easy way out.” I say immediately, to which Cecil seems to ease up the tension thinking I wasn’t going to kill him, “I say we leave him here.” they all look at me in confusion, including Cecil. I sweep my arm around the area, “All these raiders, dead. Cecil was supposed to get the next train as soon as possible. I’m sure Lindsey and his Lieutenant wouldn't like to know he was the reason his men died  _ again _ .”

I could hear the saliva going down his throat nervously.

“And ya wee involved in it again.” Scotty piped up, rubbing her chin, “If we tie him tight enough, keep ‘im here I don’t know why not.”

I smile a bit, then my eyes move to Arthur after Javier gives his agreement to the plan. Arthur looks between me and the man by our feet, rubbing the tips of his fingers against his scruffed jawline -- God he was really attractive when he did that -- then tips his head to the side, “Alright.” he says, “Lemme tie him up, ya’ll go check the house and see if there’s anythin’ valuable there.”

There. It was done. 

Cecil gave enough trouble for the Raiders, well I did but it was him who caused it. I don’t think they’d appreciate knowing the same bounty hunter as before was responsible for killing more of them. I stay by Arthur’s side, looking down at Cecil’s pitiful attempts of mercy, begging us to let him go, that he’d ‘never come back’ and that he’d ‘be a good boy’. I crouch down next to the two of them, pulling out something that bulged Cecil’s back pocket.

A rolled up wad of papers and as I opened them I could read it was a letter from...someone of Cecil’s family. A man, his father perhaps? With instructions of what he should do, where he should go and to follow Lindsey’s orders when he was out of state. He even had a new name ready to be used: Horace Pinkleton. I snort, folding the paper closed and tucking it under my arm, my head leaning closer to Cecil, “Daddy will be disappointed to know his precious little boy won’t arrive anywhere.”

Cecil cried silently, trying uselessly to get rid of the rope Arthur tied around his wrists. It was insane the difference between Arthur and Cecil, even crouching the cowboy was so much taller than Cecil was, and no doubt it was intimidating for him. Arthur pulled out a few dollars from Cecil’s opposite pocket, swiftly counting each note under his breath then sliding them into his own pocket.

“So, we just gonna leave ‘im here?” Arthur supports his arm on one of his knees, his eyes locked on the back of Cecil’s head.

“Hmhm. No doubt the Raiders will come by asking why this idiot wasn’t in the spot where they waited for him and then,” I sweep my hand towards the fallen raiders surrounding us, “There you go.”

Cecil whimpers, wriggling a bit while his forehead hits the hard earth, there was no reassuring in this situation, “They’ll know it was ya who did it.” he tries to threaten me, “Like last time.”

I smirk, leaning closer to his head, “Good. Do you remember why I killed them all last time Cecil?” he stays silent, “Oh yeah, because of you. Now...who do you think they’ll blame in the end? Me or you?”

His shoulders shake and I hear his muffled cries, he clearly knows he is in deep deep trouble and there was no escape from this. Arthur looks between me and Cecil, slowly rising to his feet, “Ya really hate him.”

“I hate a lot of people, he just takes the top of the list for now.” I sigh while straightening myself as well. 

Cecil remains immobile, crying against the ground, the realization that he’ll have to handle the Raiders wrath even more palpable than before. Scotty and Javier walk out of the house, the revolutionary walls to Arthur while Scotty stands next to me.

She nods down at Cecil “He gonna get eaten alive.” 

“I know.”

“And yer not even bothered by that.” I arch one eyebrow in her direction, crossing my arms “I’m just sayin’ that it’s usually me who gets merciless. It’s rare to see ya so worked up.”

My eyes move back to Cecil’s form, and I scoff when I notice his shoulders still shake with tears, “I won’t get my hands dirty because of him.” I sigh, “Let him deal with his ‘bodyguards’.” I knew it wouldn’t stop the Raiders from acting up around the area, but at least they wouldn’t bother Maggie for a while without their camps to help them out.

It seems strange leaving someone like Cecil there, tied up, ready to be eaten alive by his so-called ‘friends’. I know for a fact they know who I am, I know they will probably try to kill me too...but they’ll kill him before since HE was the reason this all happened. I give one last look at his lying form, narrowing my eyes then following the others back to the horses.

I feel...slightly better. Not completely. I still have to oversee this meeting between Maggie and Dutch, and just thinking about it makes my anxiety flare up to the sky. But at least there’s one less rat roaming about. 

“If I was ya,” Scotty says, hopping on top of Melvin's saddle, “I’d go talk to Maggie, let her know what happened.” she was trying very hard to hide a smirk. I know she was just using that as an excuse to see me squirm when I join the ‘meeting’. She enjoys my suffering too much.

I hum, climbing over Persephone’s back, “Sure. Because you care so much about Maggie’s business.” she smirks fully now, shrugging her shoulders, “I will, don’t you worry.” I turn to face Arthur who is looking at me already, “Do you think Dutch and Hosea can meet with Maggie this week? Or today?”

He breathes in deeply, rubbing his chin in thought, “I don’t see why not, I don’t think they have anythin’ planned.” he seems unsure of his response however, “Where will we meet?”

“The new shack seems good. It’s safe and far from everything and everyone.” I turn back to Scotty, “Could you let Maggie know we are coming?”

Scotty pulls out a cigarette, placing it between her lips “I’d never miss the show,Barbara. Course I will.” she nods at Arthur and Javier, “Boys.” then clops away from us. While we watch her form disappear in the distance, I can’t help but notice Javier has a little smile on his face. 

He turns to look at me, then back where Scotty was, “I like your friend,Barbara.”

“Do you now?”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen a woman use a knife so fast.” there are hints of admiration in his voice, the revolutionary adjusts himself on the saddle a bit, “And had little to no blood on her clothes either.” 

I laugh quietly to myself, “I’ll let her know of your newfound  _ admiration _ . She’ll be thrilled.” she wouldn't. Well, at least not now. She always distrusted new people. 

But I had no time to think about that now, we had to go back to camp and let Dutch and Hosea know...everything was ready. I was nervous of what would come out of that conversation.

I just hope, really hard, Maggie doesn’t turn her wrath on me...or Arthur, or anyone really. In the end I just hoped no one would die out of this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hell yeah guys sorry for the late chapter. Got hit with a bit of a writer's block. But! I got really happy with this.
> 
> For those who dont know, Cecil is a big bounty in RDO and honestly when I got him it was fucking hard. Also, I wanted to make a connection between Barbara and Arthur's 'worlds' if that makes sense :)


	21. Cinnamon Moonshine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos are the author's fuel! If you like my story please leave a little comment, even if it's an emoji :)
> 
> enjoy the chapter!!

My hands are extremely sweaty. I feel by body tremble with anxiety as I lead the three men towards the Moonshine shack. To say Dutch was pleased would be an understatement: he was way too pleased. He was very glad we dealt with the raiders and that we could meet Maggie today. At least Hosea was kind enough to ask if I was alright, considering I looked anxious. 

I shouldn’t have been surprised when Micah wanted to come with us after Dutch said he was leaving, making both Arthur and Hosea sigh.

But the gang leader simply waved Micah off, saying that I already let Maggie know there would be only three members with me and that Hosea and Arthur were the best choices for that. 

Micah grumbled something under his breath, lowering his head like a scolded child, then glared up in my direction.

I smirked just a tiny bit. Not everything was going to go his way.

The shack was between the division of Lemoyne and the Heartlands, hidden expertedly so only those who either worked there,were partners or faithful clients knew the location.

I took one deep breath when I noticed the pasture becoming shorter, the small frail looking house appearing in the distance. The vision of a known chestnut colored Suffolk Punch made my mouth part in surprise, then my eyes widened at who was sitting by the door.

“Cripps?”

The old man stopped his whittling to give me a smile, “Barbara!” he laughs warmly. My heart immediately fills with joy seeing my old friend, my anxiety easing a little upon seeing him there. He slowly stands to his feet, grunting a bit to meet me halfway when I slide off Persephone, “Good to see you are still standing.” he claps my shoulder in a friendly manner.

“You know I’m hard to die.” I chuckle, my smile softening, “I'm glad to see you here.”

“Ms.Scotty suggested you'd be relieved to see a friendly face that wasn’t hers.” I can't help the eyeroll, but I smile nonetheless. Cripps looks over my shoulder to see the main three men staring at us, Dutch being the first one to hop off Count and make himself known.

“Good afternoon, my good man.” he holds out his hand for Cripps to shake, to which he does albeit a bit surprised, “Dutch Van der Linde.”

Cripps eyes widen a smidge, but he clears his throat, “J.B Cripps. Nice to meet you.”

I watch with a small smile when the other two introduce themselves, firm handshakes, the ones that meant they weren’t joking around, but Cripps amazingly remained calm during this situation. “So,” Dutch looks at the shack’s decrepit appearance, “Is this where your moonshine operation runs?”

“Inside, yes.” I make my way to the front door, “Follow me.”

Cripps is close by when I enter, being followed by the other three. The house is empty, saved for a pair of doors that lead to the underground. I approach the cellar door, taking one deep breath before holding the handles. 

It’s heavy, I can’t help but grunt when I pull one side open, letting the door slam down on the ground as I look below, the trail of oil lamps already giving the tunnels an orange glow, the faint chatter in the distance ceased by the sound of the door banging against the wooden boards. 

“You lead them in,I’ll close the door.” Cripps tells me and it should ease my fears but instead makes them spike. I nod at him mutely, sucking air through my nose and letting it out by my mouth when I walk down the stone steps that start the tunnels. Thankfully the oil lamps light the way towards the bar, so I don’t have to worry about holding anything.

Besides the need to scream and hide of course.

I nervously wipe my hands against my jeans, clenching my jaw and trying, trying being the key word, to look brave while leading them forward. I can hear them talking amongst themselves, Hosea seems impressed, I hear him touching the stone walls with interest and Dutch mentions this area seems older than he thought it’d be.

The beige colored swinging doors come into view and my stomach clenches in fear. This is it. Holding my hands up to push the doors forward, I step inside the bar. 

There are two people, currently there: Lem, who is pouring some moonshine in a glass, and Scotty, who is leaning against the bar counter with the said glass by her left. They both look at me, then at the people following. Lem straightens himself, corking the jug “Miss Barbara.” he nods, “Gentlemen.”

“Lem.” I try to sound casual, as if I’m just asking about the weather, but there is a line of dread underneath my tone. “Is Maggie nearby?”

“She’s in the backrooms.” he tells me, setting the jug aside, “I’ll get her, please sit down.”

If I do I might pass out so I choose to stand. I dare one look behind me to see if the three men were still around and yes, they were. Looking around the bar with admiration, the brand new decor was expensive but very worth it. It was bringing special clientele to Maggie, people from Saint Denis were coming over from what she told me last time.

Arthur settles alongside Dutch and Hosea on one of the tables, placing his hat in his lap while he leans back on his chair. And I can’t help but look. Really look: his thighs...were big. Strong, straining the dark jeans he wore and he spread them when he got comfortable, the muscle flexing when his leg bounced, and I could see it. 

God. What’s happening to me right now?

My eyes drag up to his face, his scruff still the same length as before. I’ve never seen him clean faced, he probably looks just as handsome but that scruff gave him such a roguish charm. He must’ve felt my staring, because he craned his neck in my direction and I quickly snatched my head away, choosing to look at the brand new stained glass that decorated one of the few windows that lead up to outside, bringing some light in. It was hidden in the middle of a forest so no one really knew about it.

Cripps sat down next to Scotty, who was sipping her moonshine slowly, smacking her lips when she was finished. Her eyebrows scrunched up at me, irises moving from me to Arthur in a quick movement but she said nothing.

“She’s coming.” Lem said and I jumped on the spot at the sound of his voice. It’ll be okay. Everything will be fine.

I hear the sounds of Maggie’s steps, being followed by the repetitive ‘thunk’ of her cane hitting the stone floor, becoming louder as she nears our location. Everything will be fine.

Maggie’s presence is felt before it’s seen. So the shudder thant runs through my body makes sense. I cautiously look over my shoulder, to where the old moonshiner stood, supporting her weight on the cane while she moves her one good eye around the room, seeing the new faces with a small scowl.

Oh good. She seems to be in good spirits.

For a while.

She slowly approached the counter, Scotty quickly walking away to stand next to Cripps while I stayed in place. Maggie sighed deeply, looking at me, “Kid.”

I frown a bit, I hated when she used ‘kid’ “Maggie.” I swallow back the fear and turn my gaze to the three males seated not too far from me, “I...these are--”

“I know who they are.”

“Of course you do.” 

Maggie pulls out a dark jug from under the counter, the heavy glass hitting the wooden counter echoed all around the bar “Do they drink or do they just stare?” 

Dutch laughed, “My lady, we would want nothing more than to have a sip of that famous moonshine of yours.” he swiftly rose to his feet, patting his vest and approached the bar where Maggie was pouring the one moonshine she kept hidden. The cinnamon one. The one she used to see how many balls a person has.

Hosea and Arthur follow Dutch, I step aside, backing away until I am nearing the table where Cripps,Scotty and Lem are seated. A nice distance from their conversation but close enough I could see what was happening.

I flop down with a heavy sigh, removing my hat to place my hands against my eyes, groaning when I feel my body shake under the tension. A friendly hand pats my shoulder, I don’t have to look to know it’s Cripps trying to comfort me.

“Everythin’ will be alright.” he says, “Whatever it is Van der Linde wants I’m sure Maggie can handle.”

“That’s my fear.” I mutter, “God I keep thinking this was a mistake, I shouldn’t have said yes when they talked about Maggie.”

Lem then speaks, leaning closer to me, “If it’s any help, aunt Maggie is happy y’all dealt with them raiders.” I groan meekly, pressing the heels of my hands against my eyes even harder, “Maybe that’ll help.”

I pull back my hands to interlace them in front of my mouth, breathing in deeply and huffing out a sigh that warms the back of my fingers. I dare a quick look in the direction where I hear Dutch’s loud voice laughing and talking to Maggie, seeing her face permanently stuck in a scowl no matter what. I don’t hear Arthur speak, but I do hear Hosea quipping in every now and again.

Scotty looks the same way as I do, crossing her arms over the table, “The worst thing it’ll happen is that she shoots ‘em.” I glare at her without changing my pose and she lifts her hands in defense, “What? It could happen.”

“I don’t want anyone to die, Scotty.” my gut clenches at the thought of any of them dying, “I don’t even know what will come out of this.”

We stay quiet then, I try to listen if there’s anything in Maggie or Dutch’s tone that leans towards hostility, but so far nothing happens. I barely move, fearing that any creak or the sound of cloth brushing would prevent me from listening to their conversation.

The pad of my thumb rubs against the skin on the back of my hand as I try to control my breathing. Not even the small glass of moonshine that’s placed in front of me snaps me out of what I was thinking.

Every bad situation was repeating itself over and over in my brain. Maggie could get upset and pull out her shotgun, which would eventually lead up to Dutch and the others pulling their own revolvers, then we’d have to intervene and I’d have to shoot them because Maggie is my friend and I’d have to shoot Arthur--the idea is terrible and it makes me sick-- so it’d come to an end.

“I think everythin’ is goin’ fine.” Lem says while I stare at nothing, “They are drinkin’ the moonshine nicely too.”

“Maggie appreciates someone that can drink the cinnamon one.” Cripps says, his eyes fleeting to me, “Relax Barbara.”

“I can’t relax yet.” I lick my dry lips, daring another look in the bar’s way when I heard Dutch’s boisterous laughter. Laughing is good...right? It’s good, it means there’s no tension right? I sigh heavily again, my left leg bouncing alongside my worried thoughts, then I lean my forehead against my wrists, gently hitting the jutted bones against it.

Scotty snorts, kicking my boot under the table and making me look up in surprise, “Relax, ya lookin’ like ya’ll die in any second.” I give her another hard stare, regaining the previous position of forehead to wrist, “I was jokin’ when I said Maggie was goin’ to kill ‘em.”

“Well, it wasn’t funny.”

Scotty hums, tapping her nails against the wood, “I thought it was.” she yelped in surprise when I kicked her leg, gently, not being able to contain my smirk when she grumbled out curses, rubbing the sore spot.

“Barbara.” my head snapped up immediately when I heard Maggie calling me, almost toppling my chair as I stood up in a flash, thankfully Cripps grabbed it before it landed on the floor. Maggie stared at me unimpressed, “When yer done doin’ whatever it is yer doin’, come here.”

“Wha--” Scotty chortles quietly, “I--okay.” I glare towards my friend before walking closer to the bar counter. I slip my hands inside my back pockets out of nervousness, my feet taking me to stay near Arthur almost automatically. He took a slow sip from the moonshine, clenching his eyes then ‘aah’ quietly and I couldn’t help but notice how Maggie’s lips quirked minimally into what was supposed to be a smile.

“Ah!” Dutch slammed the empty glass down the wooden counter, “Ms.Fike, I have to say this is the best moonshine I’ve had in awhile!” he leaned on his elbow, his cheeks were flushed just a bit red, “Strong, savory, spicy, I don’t reckon ever having something so delicious.”

‘Good, means I’m doin’ a good job.” she replies curtly. She turns her head towards me, seeing I am still standing nearby, immobile, “You too Barbara.” I open my mouth to protest but she already slides a glass my way, “After all, this is yer good work.”

My fingers tremble when I reach for the glass, the cinnamon one? For me? Shit. I down the moonshine without thinking much, placing the back of my hand against my mouth when the burning begins, my eyes immediately scrunching when the cinnamon taste coats my tongue. I hold back a cough, setting the glass back down and taking a deep breath.

“Good?” Maggie asks, her lips quirking with mirth.

“Yeah.” my voice comes out higher, tears are brimming the corners of my eyes, ‘It’s great!”

She chuckles, “See I was tellin’ Mr.Van der Linde ‘bout ya.” I cant help the ‘oh?’ that leaves my mouth, “Told him how ya helped me last year and how much ya accomplished in a matter of six months.” 

Honestly the fact we managed to get an underground bar was still mind boggling to me.

“And I also told him the only one I have a partnership with, is you...and that he shouldn’t think we are friends, because we ain’t.” oh boy, “But I am glad y’all handled the rat situation, so for that I’ll give y’all somethin’.'' not a gunshot, please. Maggie grabbed something from under the counter, coming back up only to forcefully slap a wad of notes down in front of Dutch, “I’m thankful, but I ain’t doin’ this for y’all. I’m doin’ this cause I worry ‘bout the kid and I know why she has been stayin’ ‘round in yer gang.”

Dutch at first was shocked to see the money, but his mustache twitched into a smirk as his large hand swallowed the notes like a bird of prey grabs a rabbit. My body is still tense, the heat from the moonshine isn't helping me right now. I stare between Maggie and Dutch, and while Hosea and Arthur are silent they too watch the unspoken conversation between the two.

Dutch places the folded notes inside his vest, “Ms.Fike, I appreciate your kindness and I am certain your worries about Barbara aren’t unfounded.” he turns his head to me, “But I worry about her as well, after all, she is now part of our little family.”

That makes my head recoil in surprise, Dutch has never, never said anything like that about me. 

“I’ll have to agree,”Hosea adds, his lips curling into a much kinder smile than Dutch’s “Barbara has been extremely helpful around camp and she’s very knowledgeable about the area too.” he smiles wider at me, “Not to mention her company is lovely.”

My cheeks burn a bit, but I can’t help my own sheepish grin to form, digging my hands back inside my pockets. That’s when I notice Arthur’s eyes looking at me as well, but he isn’t saying anything, there’s a slight flush to his cheeks that quickly hides from my view when he dips his head, rubbing his hand over his face.

“Good, then that means nothin’ will happen to her while she’s with y’all.” it wasn’t a simple comment, no comment was simple when it came to Maggie. It was a threat. 

“You have my word,Ms.Fike.” Dutch said, exposing his palm to her while his other hand touched his heart, “She’s safe with us.”

Maggie hums again, pouring another round of moonshine. I don’t know how much longer they’ll be able to take, but I have to say I’m surprised they are lasting this long without stopping. That is, until Hosea says he’s done then Arthur follows behind and then Dutch. Maggie seems impressed, but still weary.

Dutch’s voice amazingly isn’t as slurred as it could be, he takes a bit long with words that have ‘rs’ in the middle but he speaks just fine. Hosea seems more sober than he is, since he speaks freely with Maggie. 

I stay still, listening to how the conversation goes, but I feel Arthur’s eyes on me. His sea storm colored eyes are a bit glassy and his cheeks remain flushed but he seems focused enough. “You okay?” I ask with a small smile, “I know the cinnamon one is very strong.”

“M’ fine.” his voice isn’t slurring as much either. His eyes move around my face, flicking everywhere, I fear he’s not sure who I am since he seemed to be trying to recognize the face he was looking at, “Yer so...” I can’t understand the end of his phrase and he has no time to say it again because Dutch announces it’s time to go back to camp, it’s nearing night time after all.

Lem gives them a jug of moonshine, one final gift as Maggie says and Arthur carries it himself while Hosea and Dutch continue talking to Maggie. 

I feel a mix of emotions: surprised, relieved, shocked...but glad no one died. We all walk outside the burrow, the moonshiner’s steps are slower since she’s using her cane and she walks us to the front door. Before I am able to leave she calls my name, making me stop in the door to look at her.

Her eyebrows are pinched, “Ya better take care of yerself, I better not hear ya got shot or anythin’ while with Van der Linde.” I scoff, about to say I’d be fine when she cuts me, “And keep yer eyes open,kid. Ya might need it.”

I blink in surprise but thank her anyway, sending her a short wave as I walk back to Persephone. Cripps is pulling his sleeping gear from his horse, “Are you staying here?” he tilts his head at me when I ask, tugging the bedroll off the saddle.

“Maggie was kind enough to let me sleep in the back rooms.” he chuckles, “‘Sides, I won’t return to New Austin in a few weeks, so why not remain here?”

A smile makes its way over my lips, “Alright, be careful, okay?” I pat his shoulder fondly, Cripps chuckles, patting my hand, saying he’d try his best. 

With that I finally hop back on Persephone’s saddle, waving everyone a goodbye again and teasing Scotty she better go home soon since it was going to get past her bedtime. If it wasn’t for Lem holding her back I was sure I’d have a knife lodged inside my eye socket.

I have to admit I feel lighter than earlier, even if for a little bit. And the camp got more money, which was always a plus in Dutch’s mind. Surprisingly they stay in their horses, not wobbling or swinging on the saddles. I chose to stay behind, in case any of them fell I could help them up again.

It was already night by the time we returned to camp, Charles sending us a greeting and arching one eyebrow at the leader’s slightly flushed complexion and over talkative self. Yeah, Dutch was a bit drunk but it helps the current situation.

They slide out of the horses and I do the same, blinking when I see Arthur staring at me again. I furrow my eyebrows with a confused smile, seeing he is standing just a few feet away from me. But he shakes his head as if snapping out of a trance and walks towards Pearson’s wagon, rubbing his eyes with his free hand.

“Everything went well?” Madeline’s voice makes me turn around, she has a small hopeful smile in her face.

“Amazingly, yes.” I extend my arms to the sides “As you can see I’m not dead yet.”

Madeline smiles more, her shoulders relaxing “Yes,I do see it. I’m glad everything worked well Barbara.” she follows me as I make my way towards my bedroll, to which I had pulled closer to the fire since it got chilly these past nights. I offer her a small smile back, busying myself in opening the small bag so I could place my gloves inside.

She stays put behind me, however, which makes me look at her in questioning, “What?”

Madeline places a hand in front of her mouth, trying to hide her grin, then nods forward. I turn my face to see what she was talking about and I see Arthur who quickly moved his gaze away when I looked in his direction, turning his back to me. My own cheeks heat up and I try to use the excuse that he’s only doing that because he’s tipsy, no other reason as much as I’d like to have one, “What about Arthur?”

“He’s been staring at you a lot lately.” she comments quietly, crouching down next to me so she could speak close to my ear. My lips purse as my cheeks heats up more, I have to clear my throat to prevent anything from coming out. Any questions on the lines of ‘has he? When? Did he really?’ because it was nice to think that way. Too nice.

“I uh, haven’t noticed.”

“I did.” she looks back to the girls who were huddled against the wagon, “So did the girls.”

I don’t say anything after that, choosing to play as if I was looking for something inside my bag instead of looking back at Madeline. She chuckles sweetly by my side, placing a hand on my back, then stands to her feet, ‘I’m going to go get dinner, would you like some?”

“Oh, uh, yeah...yeah sure.”

“Okay.”

When she walks away I feel like a weight has lifted from my shoulders and I let out a breath of relief. The butterflies in my stomach were flying in a frenzy and I couldn’t help but bite the corner of my mouth to prevent a smile.

If, and that’s a big if, Arthur was genuinely interested...I wouldn’t be upset to hear about it. After all...maybe I was interested as well. But it could also be because Arthur drank strong alcohol today and was confused about his surroundings. Yeah, that could be it. As much as the thought made the butterflies inside my stomach wither a bit, it made sense.

I sigh softly through my nose, removing my hat to run my fingers through my hair and grimacing at the oily texture coating my fingers. It has been a long while since I washed it, maybe I could do it tomorrow morning if I have time.

When I look forward again, I see Arthur sitting on his cot, the small oil lamp giving his profile a beautiful glow while he scribbled something in his journal. I pay a bit of attention, seeing his hand quickly move as he writes or draws in there, his lips pursed in a way it seemed he was trying to fight back a smile.

He looked peaceful, maybe the moonshine was all needed to relax since he was working nonstop since we arrived in Lemoyne. I still don’t know much about the plans they have here, being a deputy surely wasn’t written down by Dutch but he surely would use that for himself.

I set the bag aside, standing to my feet after removing my boots when Madeline called my name, I turned to see her holding a bowl of bear stew in her hands, threatening me to eat because I was nervous the whole week because of this meeting and ate less than normal.

Well, she was right about that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *RIPS SHIRT OPEN* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHDJSADHJWAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA this is GETTING
> 
> INTENSE EVERYONE
> 
> i hope you like two idiots pining for each other because that's what y'all get.
> 
> much love!


End file.
